I feel like ****, what's wrong with them ? or with me

[user43770]

l agree it is not the best idea to show your weaknesses too openly to a woman, but I don't see this as being inauthentic. The essence of maleness is strength, and that's what they appreciate us for. Similarly, as a male, we may be aware of our weaknesses, but we don't wallow in or celebrate them. We try to minimize them and maximize our strengths. We don't feed our weaknesses or encourage them to grow.

Look at how guys are shamed here when they appear too weak or too "beta". Part of this is simply tough love, we send a message here to embrace your maleness, improve yourself, shed your weaknesses. It isn't only women who don't like to see weakness in men. If we are being our best selves, we are not being weak.

It's natural to want to get things off your chest. It's just a sad fact of life that you shouldn't do it with women you're sexually involved with. Because it's so tempting to.

You're laying there naked after sex, and you feel so free. You want to open your heart up. But if you want to keep fvcking her, the best thing you could do is bottle that sh1t up and lay in silence

 

[marmel75]

It's natural to want to get things off your chest. It's just a sad fact of life that you shouldn't do it with women you're sexually involved with.

You can but not after the first or second time. It sounds like OP is taking all the stuff and dumping it on them in one huge payload. Its like anything in life...a little can be good, too much can be deadly.

OP, I would start limiting the amount of opening up you do initially within the first few months...a woman should not know everything about you after the first time you have sex.

And FWIW, if this keeps happening it definitely is something you are doing...

 

[user43770]

You can but not after the first or second time. It sounds like you are taking all the stuff and dumping it on them in one huge payload. Its like anything in life...a little can be good, too much can be deadly.

I would start limiting the amount of opening up you do initially within the first few months...a woman should not know everything about you after the first time you have sex.

And FWIW, if this keeps happening it definitely is something you are doing...

It doesn't happen, because I don't do it anymore.

The times I did it, though, nothing good came from it.

Women don't think logically, so it's not like you're going to get good advice. If you need to vent, it's best to do it with close family, close friends or on sosuave.

 

[Tenacity]

I never truly open up to women, because they're going to lose some respect for you after seeing your vulnerability. I've done it in the past and reaped the consequences

l agree it is not the best idea to show your weaknesses too openly to a woman, but I don't see this as being inauthentic. The essence of maleness is strength, and that's what they appreciate us for. Similarly, as a male, we may be aware of our weaknesses, but we don't wallow in or celebrate them. We try to minimize them and maximize our strengths. We don't feed our weaknesses or encourage them to grow.

Look at how guys are shamed here when they appear too weak or too "beta". Part of this is simply tough love, we send a message here to embrace your maleness, improve yourself, shed your weaknesses. It isn't only women who don't like to see weakness in men. If we are being our best selves, we are not being weak.

Bros I'm sorry, but this is just Cartoon Network stuff again lol. I don't know what is with some of you guys with this Stone Cold Steve Austin, James Bond, "I never lose my cool", "I'm always tough", type of message you spread on this forum.

The reality is that we are ALL human beings. If NOTHING ever pisses you off, if NOTHING ever makes you sad, if NOTHING ever gets you down, if NOTHING ever makes you emotional in some context..........then how are you connecting with the woman who in and of herself, is mainly driven through emotion? Think about that.

Venting, ranting, and even crying does not make you weak. There's a difference between being (excuse my language) a little BYTCH BOY, versus being a Grown Man that is having a Problem.

When a woman is attracted to a Grown Man, she also is seeking to understand that Grown Man and dig up some of the problems he might have, as she sometimes tries to offer assistance. For example, your Father might not have been there and you might "rant and vent" to her about him. That doesn't make you WEAK, that makes you HUMAN.

There just seems to be this strong disconnect with posters like myself and the vast majority of the Manosphere/Sosuave. It's like posters like myself are operating in the real world, with real people, with real situations, with real emotions, and with real circumstances.........and it seems like the rest of you are operating on an episode of James Bond or some shyt lol.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Bros I'm sorry, but this is just Cartoon Network stuff again lol. I don't know what is with some of you guys with this Stone Cold Steve Austin, James Bond, "I never lose my cool", "I'm always tough", type of message you spread on this forum.

The reality is that we are ALL human beings. If NOTHING ever pisses you off, if NOTHING ever makes you sad, if NOTHING ever gets you down, if NOTHING ever makes you emotional in some context..........then how are you connecting with the woman who in and of herself, is mainly driven through emotion? Think about that.

Venting, ranting, and even crying does not make you weak. There's a difference between being (excuse my language) a little BYTCH BOY, versus being a Grown Man that is having a Problem.

When a woman is attracted to a Grown Man, she also is seeking to understand that Grown Man and dig up some of the problems he might have, as she sometimes tries to offer assistance. For example, your Father might not have been there and you might "rant and vent" to her about him. That doesn't make you WEAK, that makes you HUMAN.

There just seems to be this strong disconnect with posters like myself and the vast majority of the Manosphere/Sosuave. It's like posters like myself are operating in the real world, with real people, with real situations, with real emotions, and with real circumstances.........and it seems like the rest of you are operating on an episode of James Bond or some shyt lol.

Excellent post.

 

[marmel75]

It doesn't happen, because I don't do it anymore.

The times I did it, though, nothing good came from it.

Women don't think logically, so it's not like you're going to get good advice. If you need to vent, it's best to do it with close family, close friends or on sosuave.

My bad, I replied to your post, but it was intended for OP...I made the corrections.

 

[Trump]

As soon as I get more option and the feelings of abundance they always seem to back off for no reasons.

No reasons according to you. For the attractive women looking for love it could be 1001 reasons. You have to lower the ego.

Lost my 2 plates.. First one was using me for sex,

So a hot girl gives you sex whenever you want, and you consider that being "used"?

Bro there is NOTHING wrong with your ego.

dont get me wrong I wanted to do the same thing until she showed so much indifference.. After this I've started to freak out even with a better plate available. Now she clearly dont give a **** anymore, Going no contact. I had a date today with another one, everything was fine, High interest and everything and then I wake up and she blocked me everywhere.. I mean WTF ???

- she got pregnant
- she got married
- she got another bf
- her ex came back

What do you mean wtf?

All your thinking is based on the assumption these girls should love you and give you sex at your whim and never ever disconnect from you. Unless you are rich Hollywood star, that type of thinking is ridiculous.

She's gone to the club last night so maybe she came back with her ex or something like that.. But I dont understand this ****.. It hurts to face so much rejection. 2 weeks ago another girl was flirting until I set up the date, everything's ok. I pay for the reservation and then she blocked me right after..... WHAT THE FOCK. I'm very depressed right now.. Why are they doing this ?

Because they CAN.

Men, get it of your head that we are all rich stars that women fall in love with easily and have to beg us to have sex with them.

Women don't care about intimacy
Women don't care about connection
Women don't care about love
Women don't care about sex

This is what Disney what's you to think because it's
more money for them.

All women care about is use.[/quote][/quote]

 

[user43770]

Bros I'm sorry, but this is just Cartoon Network stuff again lol. I don't know what is with some of you guys with this Stone Cold Steve Austin, James Bond, "I never lose my cool", "I'm always tough", type of message you spread on this forum.

The reality is that we are ALL human beings. If NOTHING ever pisses you off, if NOTHING ever makes you sad, if NOTHING ever gets you down, if NOTHING ever makes you emotional in some context..........then how are you connecting with the woman who in and of herself, is mainly driven through emotion? Think about that.

Venting, ranting, and even crying does not make you weak. There's a difference between being (excuse my language) a little BYTCH BOY, versus being a Grown Man that is having a Problem.

When a woman is attracted to a Grown Man, she also is seeking to understand that Grown Man and dig up some of the problems he might have, as she sometimes tries to offer assistance. For example, your Father might not have been there and you might "rant and vent" to her about him. That doesn't make you WEAK, that makes you HUMAN.

There just seems to be this strong disconnect with posters like myself and the vast majority of the Manosphere/Sosuave. It's like posters like myself are operating in the real world, with real people, with real situations, with real emotions, and with real circumstances.........and it seems like the rest of you are operating on an episode of James Bond or some shyt lol.

I said that it's natural, just that women don't want to hear it.

You can wear your emotions on your sleeve all you want. Nobody gives a fvck about your problems, least of all women.

 

[user43770]

I hate being around emotional dudes. Everybody does. Suck that sh1t up, buttercup.

@Tenacity

 

[Atom Smasher]

This is absolutely true. There is nothing like the discomfort of being around an emotional dude. They are capable of anything. Part of becoming an effective man is learning to find BALANCE between emotion and rationality. We must not turn our back on emotion, but we must learn to overcome it and tame it to a reasonable degree. A man who rants is a man who is insecure and out of control.

Every emotional man I know is either feminine and passive or, if the angry type, has a persecution complex.

 

[guru1000]

I said that it's natural, just that women don't want to hear it.

You can wear your emotions on your sleeve all you want. Nobody gives a fvck about your problems, least of all women.

Yup. The worst thing a man can do is to be an emotional tampon to a woman.

"But you are not being authentic if you're not gushing your emotions to a woman" says the man reeking of estrogen-ic sweat. Wrong!

Women do not assume the role of your mother. Women lean on YOU for emotional support, not contrariwise. YOU are the rock. Women are the ocean. Once you become the ocean full of emotional tirades and uncontrollable diatribes, you have taken the place of the woman, assumed the feminine nature, and now have become the bltch. Nothing could be more repulsive than this to a feminine woman.

Testosterone seeks stoic solutions. Estrogen seeks emotions and anchors to release those emotions. The problem is not why one cannot pour their emotions onto a woman, but rather why would one have those "emotions needed to pour" to begin with.

 

[zekko]

Bros I'm sorry, but this is just Cartoon Network stuff again lol. I don't know what is with some of you guys with this Stone Cold Steve Austin, James Bond, "I never lose my cool", "I'm always tough", type of message you spread on this forum.

I don't mean you become an unemotional robot. I'm just saying that men don't wallow in their weaknesses. It's okay to have a problem, but as men, our reaction is to try to solve it. Not cry and rant about it, that's more of a female response. If a guy comes on this forum and is a crying, emotional mess, the other guys here are going to give him some tough love and tell him to get it together. That's just the way males are.

Another factor is that men aren't as likely to share their innermost thoughts as women. So if we do have private thoughts about our weaknesses, we are less likely to air them. Women like to talk about their problems, while men retreat to their "man cave" to figure them out.

 

[Tenacity]

I hate being around emotional dudes. Everybody does. Suck that sh1t up, buttercup.

@Tenacity

This is absolutely true. There is nothing like the discomfort of being around an emotional dude. They are capable of anything. Part of becoming an effective man is learning to find BALANCE between emotion and rationality. We must not turn our back on emotion, but we must learn to overcome it and tame it to a reasonable degree. A man who rants is a man who is insecure and out of control.

Every emotional man I know is either feminine and passive or, if the angry type, has a persecution complex.

I don't mean you become an unemotional robot. I'm just saying that men don't wallow in their weaknesses. It's okay to have a problem, but as men, our reaction is to try to solve it. Not cry and rant about it, that's more of a female response. If a guy comes on this forum and is a crying, emotional mess, the other guys here are going to give him some tough love and tell him to get it together. That's just the way males are.

Another factor is that men aren't as likely to share their innermost thoughts as women. So if we do have private thoughts about our weaknesses, we are less likely to air them. Women like to talk about their problems, while men retreat to their "man cave" to figure them out.

Yup. The worst thing a man can do is to be an emotional tampon to a woman.

"But you are not being authentic if you're not gushing your emotions to a woman" says the man reeking of estrogen-ic sweat. Wrong!

Women do not assume the role of your mother. Women lean on YOU for emotional support, not contrariwise. YOU are the rock. Women are the ocean. Once you become the ocean full of emotional tirades and uncontrollable diatribes, you have taken the place of the woman, assumed the feminine nature, and now have become the bltch. Nothing could be more repulsive than this to a feminine woman.

Testosterone seeks stoic solutions. Estrogen seeks emotions and anchors to release those emotions. The problem is not why one cannot pour their emotions onto a woman, but rather why would one have those "emotions needed to pour" to begin with.

I'm not saying a guy just sits around crying and moaning ALL DAY.........

I'm saying that this notion that a Grown Man cannot at some point be emotional, cannot at some point be angry, cannot at some point be sad, cannot at some point cry, cannot at some point be scared, cannot at some point show weaknesses...........is something straight off of the Cartoon Network and the World Wrestling Federation. This entire notion that an "emotional" Man isn't attractive to women, is just pure Cartoon stuff. From my experience, it's been the guy that is the MOST emotional that women seem to be drawn to. Guys who are:

- A bit aggressive
- A bit passionate
- A bit romantic
- A bit sexual
- Not a push-over

All of these traits are driven and FELT through emotion. How can you be passionate without showing emotion? How can you be romantic without showing emotion? How can you have a back-bone and not be a push-over, without showing emotion?

One of the foundations of my commentary is from a Personality standpoint, guys should be REAL. The more REAL you can be, the more of a connection will you make with not just women, but other people.

Sosuave/The Manosphere seems to be on a campaign to take whatever REALNESS a man has and destroy it, in favor of turning him into some "Cartoon Character" that the Manosphere designed and decided one day that EVERY man needs to be like.

It's honestly why The Manosphere doesn't solve a lot of problems for guys in relation to women. You have guys who have been on The Manosphere for years and are STILL struggling to build up plates/get dates/get laid. Ever ask yourselves why that is?? In my opinion, it's because 95% of the material on the Manosphere is Cartoonish, for example:

- Manosphere says you can never hold a convo through Texting (Bad Advice)
- Manosphere says you can never hold a long convo on the Phone (Bad Advice)
- Manosphere says don't use OLD (Bad Advice)
- Manosphere says to use cold approaching very, very, very, often (Bad Advice)
- Manosphere says to use 3 second rules (Bad Advice)
- Manosphere says don't call a girl after getting her number for like 5 days (Bad Advice)

- Manosphere provides a ONE SIZE FITS ALL strategy to deal with women, even though dealing with different races/cultures of women come with their own individual set of problems (Which Means The Manosphere Is Providing More Bad Advice)

- Every single time a guy is having a problem with a woman, it HAS to be the guy's fault and not the fact that the woman is a retard..... (Which Means The Manosphere Is Providing More Bad Advice)

- Every time a guy is having a problem with women, the Manosphere tells him to go workout like that's going to magically address his problems with women, which have nothing to do with a barbell (Which Means The Manosphere Is Providing More Bad Advice)

I can go on and on. If the generic, textbook, advice that you guys give out was SO GREAT, you wouldn't have so many failures in the Manosphere. As a result, I'm just saying....maybe (just maybe) you ought to start considering some of the alternative viewpoints I've been presenting.

 

[Atom Smasher]

Some men are extreme in their thinking and this is what paralyzes them.

You are preaching to men who already understand that the principals taught here are guidelines, not hard and fast rules. They are training wheels which need to be customized for each individual. Writing about them necessarily makes them sound formulaic, but moderate thinkers understand that this is simply the communication of general principles that are malleable to any given situation.

All of your bullet points above are general guidelines which serve to caution a man and get him to think about the ramifications of these actions.

That's why your "advice" sounds like a clanging bell to most. It is reactionary and extreme, and doesn't come across as thoughtfully presented. As I look at your statements, I see extreme words like "every", "always", etc. You're defending your "right" to emote as if your life depends on it. What you're selling doesn't gain traction here because of your extreme delivery.

But you will not hear it.

 

[user43770]

I'm not saying a guy just sits around crying and moaning ALL DAY.........

I'm saying that this notion that a Grown Man cannot at some point be emotional, cannot at some point be angry, cannot at some point be sad, cannot at some point cry, cannot at some point be scared, cannot at some point show weaknesses...........is something straight off of the Cartoon Network and the World Wrestling Federation. This entire notion that an "emotional" Man isn't attractive to women, is just pure Cartoon stuff. From my experience, it's been the guy that is the MOST emotional that women seem to be drawn to. Guys who are:

- A bit aggressive
- A bit passionate
- A bit romantic
- A bit sexual
- Not a push-over

All of these traits are driven and FELT through emotion. How can you be passionate without showing emotion? How can you be romantic without showing emotion? How can you have a back-bone and not be a push-over, without showing emotion?

One of the foundations of my commentary is from a Personality standpoint, guys should be REAL. The more REAL you can be, the more of a connection will you make with not just women, but other people.

Sosuave/The Manosphere seems to be on a campaign to take whatever REALNESS a man has and destroy it, in favor of turning him into some "Cartoon Character" that the Manosphere designed and decided one day that EVERY man needs to be like.

It's honestly why The Manosphere doesn't solve a lot of problems for guys in relation to women. You have guys who have been on The Manosphere for years and are STILL struggling to build up plates/get dates/get laid. Ever ask yourselves why that is?? In my opinion, it's because 95% of the material on the Manosphere is Cartoonish, for example:

- Manosphere says you can never hold a convo through Texting (Bad Advice)
- Manosphere says you can never hold a long convo on the Phone (Bad Advice)
- Manosphere says don't use OLD (Bad Advice)
- Manosphere says to use cold approaching very, very, very, often (Bad Advice)
- Manosphere says to use 3 second rules (Bad Advice)
- Manosphere says don't call a girl after getting her number for like 5 days (Bad Advice)

- Manosphere provides a ONE SIZE FITS ALL strategy to deal with women, even though dealing with different races/cultures of women come with their own individual set of problems (Which Means The Manosphere Is Providing More Bad Advice)

- Every single time a guy is having a problem with a woman, it HAS to be the guy's fault and not the fact that the woman is a retard..... (Which Means The Manosphere Is Providing More Bad Advice)

- Every time a guy is having a problem with women, the Manosphere tells him to go workout like that's going to magically address his problems with women, which have nothing to do with a barbell (Which Means The Manosphere Is Providing More Bad Advice)

I can go on and on. If the generic, textbook, advice that you guys give out was SO GREAT, you wouldn't have so many failures in the Manosphere. As a result, I'm just saying....maybe (just maybe) you ought to .orgstart considering some of the alternative viewpoints I've been presenting.

I pretty much said what you said, but it took me 15 words.

Start your own blog already, you wordy mother lol

 

[John Constantine]

Advice from the old lady:

I have a couple of ideas based on the behavior you are describing from the ladies. Also I can tell you that you are not alone in this dilemma you refer to. The dilemma of sex on tap but no love. Sex becomes meaningless after so many hook ups for a man. Sex is NOT intimacy in a full way. Physically intimate? Yes. But that isn't intimacy. Here's a link written by a 73 year old man that I think sheds some light on what men REALLY want at the end of the day. It's the reason to be jealous of the truly happily long term married couples out there. It's intimacy on a deep level and men crave it.

https://goodmenproject.com/sex-relationships/the-one-thing-men-want-more-than-sex-wcz/

Because I go out with men who are in their 40s and 50s I hear a constant refrain. It is a lamentation that they can get sex if they want it but that's not all they want. They want intimacy/connection/chemistry/to be understood/to be real, call it whatever label you like. They know how women work, they understand game in most instances (well the men I chat with certainly understand "game") and they honestly are kind of over it. Copious sex with plenty of new strange is great and all but it's not the fulfilling lifestyle they were thinking it would be.

Then disillusionment sets in. As my friend in Vegas puts it: "My sex life is awesome...but my love life stinks." So men keep going around the kitty carousel enjoying women and plating them and so forth and yet in many instances (not ALL to be sure - some men actually are all good with this lifestyle for the rest of their days) they still feel this void within themselves. In many cases men do not think they are ever going to find a woman worth a LTR, so they rationalize that by saying things like AWALT and so forth.

@guru1000 is correct. You can't come into an interaction with a woman expecting her to fill your love bucket. I don't care who you are. That is NOT her job. You are supposed to fill your own love bucket to overflowing and then have the women yearning for a sip of your precious libation. If you are a player type it's especially bad, because if you come across as the player or the fvckboy or the boy toy or whatever, two things happen. One is that the women you sleep with who at first thought you were a hard bull to lasso find out you are really Fernando (and they lose interest in ol' Fernando because he's just so sweet and docile after all) and this incongruity kills their attraction and kills it yesterday.

The other thing that happens to women who might have interest in actually dating you are actually put off by the player vibe typically or if they already slept with you they tend to Monday morning quarterback it to death and decide they cannot appear chaste, the gig is up, its embarrassing, and they move along to save face. They don't want to feel like they slu t t ed it up with you thinking it was all in good fun/what the hell anyway and then turn over all that insecurity that sets in if they actually date you, wondering whether or not you think she's a good girl or not.

And as a woman you don't have to look very far on the internet to come to the conclusion that there remains an enormous double standard that its OK for guys to have a notch count but it is NOT ok for a woman to have one. So if she thinks you're a cool guy but she feels she slept with you too fast, that will blow things up as she seeks to preserve in her mind some semblance of a reputation.

Very little of the second things has anything to do with you. But expecting women (external validation or attention) to fill your love bucket is not good at all and has everything to do with you. You gotta fill it with self love and the babes will beat a path to you. When YOU are the common denominator in a pattern you are seeing you ALWAYS have to look in the mirror and begin to sort it out there.

It seems that you've put in word what I was trying to say. Thank you

 

[John Constantine]

Great advice here, thank you all

I understand that the problem is coming from inside, I got a void that I'm trying to fill with women. I just don't know from where that void is coming from and how to patch it. I have a passion and a job that is taking the majority of my time. Maybe it's with my job.. I hate it, I'm planning to go to college for a PhD, it's an old dream that I need to fulfill. I think my job and my social value in regards of this job doesnt make me feel like I'm a part of society, and I'm trying to fill the void by having girl. I'm here to get help

 

[Macaframalama]

Bros I'm sorry, but this is just Cartoon Network stuff again lol. I don't know what is with some of you guys with this Stone Cold Steve Austin, James Bond, "I never lose my cool", "I'm always tough", type of message you spread on this forum.

The reality is that we are ALL human beings. If NOTHING ever pisses you off, if NOTHING ever makes you sad, if NOTHING ever gets you down, if NOTHING ever makes you emotional in some context..........then how are you connecting with the woman who in and of herself, is mainly driven through emotion? Think about that.

Venting, ranting, and even crying does not make you weak. There's a difference between being (excuse my language) a little BYTCH BOY, versus being a Grown Man that is having a Problem.

When a woman is attracted to a Grown Man, she also is seeking to understand that Grown Man and dig up some of the problems he might have, as she sometimes tries to offer assistance. For example, your Father might not have been there and you might "rant and vent" to her about him. That doesn't make you WEAK, that makes you HUMAN.

There just seems to be this strong disconnect with posters like myself and the vast majority of the Manosphere/Sosuave. It's like posters like myself are operating in the real world, with real people, with real situations, with real emotions, and with real circumstances.........and it seems like the rest of you are operating on an episode of James Bond or some shyt lol.

I'll add that it also gives you the opportunity to lead. Rather than seeing a boy that wallows in his own self-pity, she sees a man with problems just like her that finds solutions to his problems. Allot of women wish they were more self-sufficient, but have had chit handed to them their whole life, so they don't know how. I can't count how many women have told me that they will forever be grateful for showing them this, especially the younger ones. It seems like a lot of users on here want to piss and moan about how women are so fvcked up, but are ever so content with leaving them no better than they found them.

 

[Red Legg]

I'm very depressed right now.. Why are they doing this ?

LOL....If you are depressed over your status with women,then you have major problems,and women will "smell it out" and you will come across like a total loser.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Dude I dont know, I'm working on myself so hard... it keeps getting worse especially when they cancel or block me for absolutely no reasons.

Working on yourself how?