Market Trend Analysis - GOOD MEN! Where are they??

[Urbanyst]

Women are having a hard time finding husbands these days. Its very sad...

Full article:
https://beta.theglobeandmail.com/opinion/why-are-good-men-so-hard-to-find/article36365252/

Quotes Analysis

"In a nutshell, over the past few decades, the traditional relationship exchange has broken down. It used to be that men and women each had something the other really needed. Men needed access to sex. Women needed access to resources. Men couldn't get steady access to sex unless they had resources to offer, so they worked hard for them. The partnership between men and women was a grand bargain that (usually) left both sides better off."

-I once posted that men and women don't really LIKE each other. This is further proof. When neither gender has something to gain... they would rather not associate with the other gender it seems..


"When women complain that marriageable men (sober, steady good providers) are harder to find than ever, they may well be right. The marriage rate is falling steadily, especially among the lower middle class, while long-term stable marriage is increasingly a privilege reserved for the better off."

-Well of course. Men with MONEY fill a NEED other men can't fill as do very HOT women. So well off men who want families can easily find a HOT woman to marry them. HOT women can easily get married because they have so much selection. Its a numbers game that plays out well for the people at the top of the market.


"Men don't have to prove themselves as providers any more. They can get all the sex they want anyway – including online porn on demand that can make the real thing feel mildly disappointing".

-Wasn't this the entire point of feminism? To destroy gender roles? Oh wait.. it seems the goal was to destroy FEMALE gender roles while keeping MALE gender roles rigidly intact lol. Too bad?

 

[skinnyguy]

That's cause women deliberately look for guys who aren't marriageable. They go for the players.

 

[Urbanyst]

That's cause women deliberately look for guys who aren't marriageable. They go for the players.

Wrong perspective.

Women go after men with the most VALUE. They measure quality based on how many other women want a guy. Of course the guys with the most options getting sex easily will be in no rush to commit to anyone.

Men also prefer the HOTTEST women. I could probably walk outside and cold approach an obese woman and be engaged to get married by next Friday. But who wants that? Lol.

 

[Poonani Maker]

This is because they have ****ty attitudes and no morals. We men don't want em no matter how "cute" they portray themselves to be, no matter how short or skimpy they dress, and We ALL Know that the clothing industry has Ramped up the SHOWING of female parts in an EXACT way and EXACT science to attract males to trigger male instinct to fvck. Just like at the way Any female dresses around a mall. The clothes have accented the most salivating parts of them to a 'T.' Used to not be that way with jeans shorts shirts that didn't conform or were available to buy that triggered the male sex organ.

 

[sazc]

That's cause women deliberately look for guys who aren't marriageable. They go for the players.

That is, for sure, a struggle! I just had a date with a really nice guy Friday night. I don't feel any kind of draw to him and I know that is, in part, because he was being genuine and nice.

Yes, I have agreed to another date. He appears to be what I am looking for so I will explore the potential for awhile.

 

[BeExcellent]

long-term stable marriage is increasingly a privilege reserved for the better off."

This is consistent with what I see in my social circles. That is that at the upper echelons of the SMV marriage is just fine, thank you. Getting married has never been an issue for the hottest & best women, especially if they are from good well to do families...and its a good deal for the best men (who are able to attract and keep the hottest and best women) too. Marriages that last tend to have greater net worth, more emotional stability, are happier, enjoy companionship/family and etc. I see lots of couples that have been together 40+ years in my profession. They are honestly quite smug almost without exception about how life has turned out for them.

Some well known examples? Roger Staubach, Mike Pence, John Elway, Adam Wainwright, George W. Bush, David Bowie, Jerry Seinfeld, Bob Gibson, Jay Leno and countless other men who nobody would recognize but who do have done very well at life, including marriage.

My point? Be in the upper echelons. Be in the top tier. Be the best. There are real benefits in making the effort required to get into that upper tier group, whether or not marriage/kids/family is a personal goal.

The good news for men ought to be that you don't have to be great looking to be there. If you are in the top tier then you'll have many choices and you'll have access to the most desirable women (from a long term standpoint.) Being in the top tier isn't a guarantee but your odds of success are better. Divorce rates are substantially lower for those who are more educated, more successful, more actively involved in the church or synagogue, and those who marry later in life according to a number of studies you can find on a simple Google search. Interestingly you can find evidence that suggests that one spouse being financially dependent on the other (irrespective of which spouse) reduces odds of divorce as well, especially if the couple is well off financially. In my own marriage we would still be married if my ex hadn't been so extremely LAZY on the domestic front.

I think more people are lazy/undisciplined than are willing to be hard working/exhibit self discipline in life. And then these same people complain when all life's benefits don't get handled to them. So don't be lazy. If you're a woman (as I am) that means take care of yourself, stay fit, stay thin, be self reliant, get educated, be hardworking, be willing to be led. If you're a man that means set goals, work hard, be self reliant, stay in shape, and lead your life without apology. Men's focus is more traditionally on success and women's focus is more traditionally on looks, but both men and women would do well to take care of both looks and self-sufficiency. What I did find interesting was a statistic that noted divorce to be higher among couples where both are contributing about equally to the family income. It appears to suggest a power struggle in the relationship as opposed to well defined roles of leader and follower. So there seems to be something (+) about one spouse being dependent on the other for resources. I can tell you from experience that NOT having financial strain makes things much easier because it takes away a major source of conflict and strife. My marriage never suffered from financial struggles. That was/is a benefit of being successful.

 

[marmel75]

Many men have no ambition to actually do or be anything these days. They are happy to work their crap jobs, come home and drink some beers and go out with their friends...or even worse live in their Mom's basement til they are 40...plenty of guys can't hold a job these days either...or are happily unemployed...no passion...no ambition...its a huge turnoff for many women.

If you are a guy with ambition and passion you will be ahead of 75% of guys just from this alone.

 

[Urbanyst]

That is, for sure, a struggle! I just had a date with a really nice guy Friday night. I don't feel any kind of draw to him and I know that is, in part, because he was being genuine and nice.

Yes, I have agreed to another date. He appears to be what I am looking for so I will explore the potential for awhile.

Because sexual attraction is not based on being "nice" or "genuine". Its based on be HOT and/or high VALUE.

We MEN have known and accepted this FACT about our own sexuality a long time ago. Its you women who keep lying to yourselves about what really turns you on lol. "I want a nice guy, blah, blah, blah..." Horse sh*t.

 

[marmel75]

Because sexual attraction is not based on being "nice" or "genuine". Its based on be HOT and/or high VALUE.

We MEN have known and accepted this FACT about our own sexuality a long time ago. Its you women who keep lying to yourselves about what really turns you on lol. "I want a nice guy, blah, blah, blah..." Horse sh*t.

That's true INITIALLY...this has been researched very heavily. Initially women are atracted to looks just as guys are...however, after knowing a person for a longer period of time, they start finding other things that are attractive about them like personality, behaviours, confidence, etc and when they start doing this they actually convince themselves they like something about their looks that they would not have liked before...like a big nose or crooked teeth, or whatever it is...those quirks become attractive because the person as a WHOLE is attractive to them. This is how these fat, ugly dudes end up with hot girls...they either grew up with them, were in heir social circle, or have known them fora long time, maybe from school, or thru a friend, etc..over time, their other traits start to become more attractive to the women and their looks become less impotrant and the women "find" something they like even if they don't think they are that attractive initially...they "become" attractive...

 

[Urbanyst]

That's true INITIALLY...this has been researched very heavily. Initially women are atracted to looks just as guys are...however, after knowing a person for a longer period of time, they start finding other things that are attractive about them like personality, behaviours, confidence, etc and when they start doing this they actually convince themselves they like something about their looks that they would not have liked before...like a big nose or crooked teeth, or whatever it is...those quirks become attractive because the person as a WHOLE is attractive to them. This is how these fat, ugly dudes end up with hot girls...they either grew up with them, were in heir social circle, or have known them fora long time, maybe from school, or thru a friend, etc..over time, their other traits start to become more attractive to the women and their looks become less impotrant and the women "find" something they like even if they don't think they are that attractive initially...they "become" attractive...

Don't confuse SETTLING/bio clock issues with attraction lol.

After a week in the desert with no water.. a class of urine doesn't seem all that bad...

 

[sazc]

Because sexual attraction is not based on being "nice" or "genuine". Its based on be HOT and/or high VALUE.

We MEN have known and accepted this FACT about our own sexuality a long time ago. Its you women who keep lying to yourselves about what really turns you on lol. "I want a nice guy, blah, blah, blah..." Horse sh*t.

Actually, for me, attraction isn't based on some dude being an a$$ out the gate,v or bring"hot" or having muscles, or a nice car, etc. I actually have standards and I screen. I also know myself will enough to know that attraction builds for me over time, so I don't toss them away if they don't make my panties wet immediately. Attraction, for me, grows over time and with shared intimacy.

 

[Dingo]

Interesting article... Interesting discussion....

 

[btownbuck2012]

Many men have no ambition to actually do or be anything these days. They are happy to work their crap jobs, come home and drink some beers and go out with their friends...or even worse live in their Mom's basement til they are 40...plenty of guys can't hold a job these days either...or are happily unemployed...no passion...no ambition...its a huge turnoff for many women.

If you are a guy with ambition and passion you will be ahead of 75% of guys just from this alone.

Very solid advice here. It's unbelievable how many guys could care less about their future or who don't have ANY goals at all.

 

[Julian]

Its just another symptom of societies breakdown

 

[Von]

Women have find that in modern society they dont need m'en other than for sex

M'en are being more "effiminated" and like it was said... kinda lack ambition

Back in the days.. a nice guy was a good guy cause hé would make sure women didnt lack ressources... now m'en are not ressource providers


Btw, I am dating à woman... a woman, knows what she wants and open dialogue, also she acknowledge that I am gone 12 hours à day for work and fitness.. without complains

 

[nismo-4]

That's true INITIALLY...this has been researched very heavily. Initially women are atracted to looks just as guys are...however, after knowing a person for a longer period of time, they start finding other things that are attractive about them like personality, behaviours, confidence, etc and when they start doing this they actually convince themselves they like something about their looks that they would not have liked before...like a big nose or crooked teeth, or whatever it is...those quirks become attractive because the person as a WHOLE is attractive to them. This is how these fat, ugly dudes end up with hot girls...they either grew up with them, were in heir social circle, or have known them fora long time, maybe from school, or thru a friend, etc..over time, their other traits start to become more attractive to the women and their looks become less impotrant and the women "find" something they like even if they don't think they are that attractive initially...they "become" attractive...

All well and true, but she has to like your looks first. All that personality and confidence sh*t comes after in the Long-term and relationship phase. Putting those traits ahead gets you friendzoned.

Maybe if she sticks around for a long time and gets tired of the kok carousel. Your ability to create a gaming laptop or write episodes of Game of Thrones may be appealing later, if later even occurs. Why wait? Second place is first loser.

Don't forget, women drop men for any reason. Just like a job won't hire you for whatever reason.

 

[Dash Riprock]

A few random thoughts based on many years of dating and marriage experience and some research on the topic:

- Yes, higher education levels and higher income levels (correlation of course) result in lower divorce rates by about 20% https://www.bls.gov/opub/mlr/2013/a...by-gender-race-and-educational-attainment.htm. This may be due in part to people possessing Bachelor (or greater) degrees marrying people of similar education and learning to better negotiate disagreements and overall challenges of marriage in an educated, more effective manner. This theory would apply to most, not all of course. More education=better coping skills. More education=more money (generally).

- High net worth couples may stay together longer per the @BeExcellent point because the man has more to lose and will subsequently try harder in the marriage, even if unhappy in it, as these divorces are often messier involving much property, $, and almost always involve kids. Still, 1/3 to 1/4 high net worth marriages will end in divorce at some point.

-What women say they want and what they are actually motivated by are always two different things.

-Nice guy men do finish last and are often cheated on and/or divorced and pay much maintenance (alimony). Women NEVER marry these men for love.

-HOT women DO have their pick of men for marriage but most often make horrible wives and long term partners. Many reasons for this. A HB7 is the BEST BET for a LTR or marriage if one chooses this path.

-Foreign, especially European women make much better LTR and marriage partners for American men than American women. Not even close. Much experience here. Many reasons for this.

-Social media and dating sites have ruined dating and relationships, especially for hot women. They have too many choices now, often multi-date and maintain orbiters which goes DIRECTLY AGAINST their biological programming. But, like a good book or TV show, they "can't put it down" or "turn it off." Hence, they cannot ever make up their mind, and always feel their missing out on someone better. They usually end up with very bad choices as all the strong, confident men will eventually tire of a woman's dating games and orbiter BS. They are often left with weak beta and dysfunctional men.

-Most women today would choose a beta they can control over a DJ that will challenge them as they now deem men as disposable and Kleenex. If the man is too much of a challenge or alpha, most women will purposely dump and move on to "prove a point" to build self esteem in the age of liberation and female control. The beta will provide her with material goods which she will perceive as boosting her value (in lieu of choosing a strong man to boost her value) and lose the beta for another to use when they run dry or get bored. The DJ and alpha have become very rare but "too much work" to control as bling and status, not love, now rules for women.

-The percentage of Beta men is growing each year because of the advent of helicopter and Velcro parents never letting their male kids fail. So now we have women (feminine) and a plethora of "effeminate men."

-The risk for a man getting married has never been greater. Liberated women, cheating one click away, and men will still lose half of all assets in a divorce plus have to pay alimony and child support. Odds of this at some point across all demographics are about 50%. HUGE risk for men. A woman's "love'" right now is more fleeting than ever and NOTHING to bank on long term. IT WILL END AT SOME POINT. The only question is how much it will cost you as a man.

-Online porn has destroyed intimacy and sexual expectations for both sexes. It will never recover and only get worse.

-Personality disorders are much more prevalent now due to the breakdown of the traditional family hitting critical mass.

-MGTOW will become much more prevalent in coming years as the DJs and alphas will want no business with marriage or even LTRs.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Many men have no ambition to actually do or be anything these days. They are happy to work their crap jobs, come home and drink some beers and go out with their friends...or even worse live in their Mom's basement til they are 40...plenty of guys can't hold a job these days either...or are happily unemployed...no passion...no ambition...its a huge turnoff for many women.

If you are a guy with ambition and passion you will be ahead of 75% of guys just from this alone.

Many men are disillusioned... they think what's the point. There is a whole moral vacuum sitting at the center of our [anti] culture. What? Tell them to subscribe to mediocre middle-class values [excellence can not be about this]?? There is nothing wrong with wealth, but men instinctively knows that there is no Wealth but Life. The fact is, our decadent culture... one devoid of meaning, has lead to mass despair. The solution is not to drive yourself to distraction by running after happiness/ consumption [the flip side of running from despair]. Nope, rather, men need to back-track to find where it went wrong, and see if they can re-construct something from the ruins.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

"In a nutshell, over the past few decades, the traditional relationship exchange has broken down. It used to be that men and women each had something the other really needed. Men needed access to sex. Women needed access to resources. Men couldn't get steady access to sex unless they had resources to offer, so they worked hard for them. The partnership between men and women was a grand bargain that (usually) left both sides better off."

-I once posted that men and women don't really LIKE each other. This is further proof. When neither gender has something to gain... they would rather not associate with the other gender it seems..

This is an ideological egotistical middle-class view of marriage [which is why so many marriages today end in divorce]...... individuals in the marketplace looking to make a rational exchange of value in order to benefit themselves... until it doesn't.

"Men don't have to prove themselves as providers any more. They can get all the sex they want anyway – including online porn on demand that can make the real thing feel mildly disappointing".

Pornography is not sex. It is an endorphin-inducing phantasmogoric simulation of sex, with all the addictive potential to destroy your life. Given the easy access of it to the mass of adolescents today, you could say it's a cultural holocaust.

 

[AJ84]

That's true INITIALLY...this has been researched very heavily. Initially women are atracted to looks just as guys are...however, after knowing a person for a longer period of time, they start finding other things that are attractive about them like personality, behaviours, confidence, etc and when they start doing this they actually convince themselves they like something about their looks that they would not have liked before...like a big nose or crooked teeth, or whatever it is...those quirks become attractive because the person as a WHOLE is attractive to them. This is how these fat, ugly dudes end up with hot girls...they either grew up with them, were in heir social circle, or have known them fora long time, maybe from school, or thru a friend, etc..over time, their other traits start to become more attractive to the women and their looks become less impotrant and the women "find" something they like even if they don't think they are that attractive initially...they "become" attractive...

Aside from fat ugly dudes who have money, I have never seen nor met fat a ugly dude with a hot 8/9/10 chick. Personality is important, but hot chicks like the ones sought after by most men here will place a lot of importance on a man's looks, because they place a lot of importance on their own looks, which is the main reason why they look hot. They want to attract the top tier men in either looks or money or both and personality is up there but not at the very top. Why would they put effort into staying fit and looking hot to end up with a fat ugly guy average Joe?

Appearance matters. Be fit and groom well.