Trainwreck, instead of focusing/evaluating whatever arm candy some other dude has... use that energy to
focus on yourself.
I spent a sizable chunk of the beginning of this year spinning plates as priority #1. I narrowed it down to one bad main plate (poor intuition) and wasn't happy. I felt like I got caught up in a rat race of "
MUST GET ABUNDANCE. MUST..... SPIN..... PLATES".
I tried OLD and all I got was crickets. Maybe one low IL chick on Bumble that was just looking for validation. Granted it was before I bulked 25 pounds, yet still... I couldn't stand feeling like I had to rack up plates to be happy.
I've written about my experience in other threads, yet what I want to emphasize here what has helped me is
taking the focus off of dating and focusing on areas I have a higher chance of influencing: my life and what I want out of it.
I took up more hobbies late spring and summer, yet the hobby that brings me the most joy is learning the guitar. I like learning everything there is about music, how guitars are made, genres, music history, music theory, influences and follow some of my favorite bands and musicians on social media.
I'm never bored, there's always a wealth of information out there.
It's true what
@RedScorpion said: Women want to attach to a guy who has a life,
not be his life.
Instead of chasing plates, I worked hard on becoming a leader for a community I represent. That has increased my social presence and my social circle is gaining momentum as a result. Just last weekend, two women asked me for my number. At the beginning of this year, I know that wouldn't have happened while I was looking thirsty af.
Anyway, I don't want to ramble here. I just wanted to say don't fixate on others or view others externally for your own happiness or you will continue to get caught up in a web spiral of feeling hopeless.
Create your own hope.
You'll feel happier in the long run when you feel awesome in your own skin. Just don't get too c0cky