Why do you need abundance mentality to walk away from being treated bad?

[Victimothy]

Hey all. Longtime reader of the forums but wondering why high ranked posters advise others that they are unable to walk away from a women in question because they have a scarcity mindset and aren’t operating from a position of having abundance or an abundance mindset. Isn’t abundance or even the mentality of it (nothing more than a belief) actually relying on women themselves as a crutch as if a man is too weak to walk away on his own without the crutch of having an abundance mentality when he’s being treated poorly?


IMO a man should walk away from people that treat them poorly regardless. A man needs his own self-respect instead of an abundance belief which the advice itself sounds like it comes from men who need other women as a crutch to walk away,

 

[J Roc]

There are over 3 billion women in this world. If one chick is treating you badly just move on to the next. It's that easy!

 

[Victimothy]

There are over 3 billion women in this world. If one chick is treating you badly just move on to the next. It's that easy!

Ok. But what if the guy hits a dry spell. He shouldn't walk away because he needs abundance or the mentality first as if he needs that as a crutch rather than having just having self-respect?

 

[DonDraper7]

Well a lot of men will justify poor behaviour and disrispect of their girlfriends because their self confidence is low and they don't think that a hotter or better girl will eventually show up in their lives. Abudance mentality to me isn't "i need to have 5 plates so i can leave my ****ty girlfriend whlist never stop having sex". It's more like "Fvck this, i'm out even if i hit a dry spell for the next few years".

Bottom line, sex and pvssy is addicting and when you have a steady supply of it you will rationalize everything just to keep it.

 

[Victimothy]

Well a lot of men will justify poor behaviour and disrispect of their girlfriends because their self confidence is low and they don't think that a hotter or better girl will eventually show up in their lives. Abudance mentality to me isn't "i need to have 5 plates so i can leave my ****ty girlfriend whlist never stop having sex". It's more like "Fvck this, i'm out even if i hit a dry spell for the next few years".

Bottom line, sex and pvssy is addicting and when you have a steady supply of it you will rationalize everything just to keep it.

Why even bother re-naming self-respect then. Re-naming it abundance mentality is saying you need other women as a crutch and place them over your own self.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

It is a crutch of sorts in the sense that men who accept poor behavior from a female yet stay with her do indeed suffer from scarcity thinking...a la...well at least I'm getting laid...if I ditch her for poor behavior then I'm not even getting laid any more...so they don't drop her when really they should.

So yes in essence it's a self respect thing.

An abundance mindset is simply a mindset that says...I don't allow any woman to mistreat me...there's always other fish (women) in the sea...I'm better off alone than with the wrong one...staying with the wrong one blocks opportunities with good ones, etc.

Men are advised to spin plates to reinforce this concept, but if a man is truly self respecting then he doesn't need to as he's already internally solid.

 

[resilient]

I'm better off alone than with the wrong one...staying with the wrong one blocks opportunities with good ones, etc.

This. Staying with the wrong one can set forth destruction on one's self-esteem that can become a silent and deadly isolating vortex pull into depression. I'm eternally happier w/o breadcrumb lays single then choosing to stay with a toxic significant other/plate.

 

[Billtx49]

If she's bad for you, develop some DGAF and leave her behind you.

 

[sazc]

Advice from the old lady:

It is a crutch of sorts in the sense that men who accept poor behavior from a female yet stay with her do indeed suffer from scarcity thinking...a la...well at least I'm getting laid...if I ditch her for poor behavior then I'm not even getting laid any more...so they don't drop her when really they should.

So yes in essence it's a self respect thing.

An abundance mindset is simply a mindset that says...I don't allow any woman to mistreat me...there's always other fish (women) in the sea...I'm better off alone than with the wrong one...staying with the wrong one blocks opportunities with good ones, etc.

Men are advised to spin plates to reinforce this concept, but if a man is truly self respecting then he doesn't need to as he's already internally solid.

One of the issues on this site is that there is also this train of thought that rationalizes her bad behavior with "go NC until she reaches out, then you will have her in your 'frame' " But what that doesnt teach is to have standards and screen - it teaches to ut up with the bad behavior as long as she makes forst contact and you are still getting laid. Bad Behavior happen again? Go NC!

It doesnt solve anything but it's a rule.

 

[Victimothy]

Advice from the old lady:

It is a crutch of sorts in the sense that men who accept poor behavior from a female yet stay with her do indeed suffer from scarcity thinking...a la...well at least I'm getting laid...if I ditch her for poor behavior then I'm not even getting laid any more...so they don't drop her when really they should.

So yes in essence it's a self respect thing.

An abundance mindset is simply a mindset that says...I don't allow any woman to mistreat me...there's always other fish (women) in the sea...I'm better off alone than with the wrong one...staying with the wrong one blocks opportunities with good ones, etc.

Men are advised to spin plates to reinforce this concept, but if a man is truly self respecting then he doesn't need to as he's already internally solid.

Offering advice like abundance mentality isn't addressing the individuals core issue of having some self respect. It's just offering them a band-aid and telling them to seek the external validation they crave elsewhere.

 

[guru1000]

Naughty Ninja, how does one with little self-respect attain genuine self-respect? Please enlighten us.

 

[Glassguy]

Offering advice like abundance mentality isn't addressing the individuals core issue of having some self respect. It's just offering them a band-aid and telling them to seek the external validation they crave elsewhere.

If you don't have abundance, you won't understand. Those that whine of not having abundance and put up with a bad woman are just too lazy to find more women or do what's needed to self improve to get more women. Having hobbies, working out, career.....all things that should be getting attention in life. Not just women. It's a choice.

It is in fact much easier to withdraw attention from a woman who isn't deserving it when you have several others to spread it around to. Chicks sense that they are then in chase mode to get more of your attention, thus straighten up or you withdraw attention completely.

Women want what they can't have. If you have multiple women around, they are competing for your time and attention. Get it?

You are treated just as you allow people to treat you. To gain self respect, you have to be willing to cut the cord and walk away if a person is not treating you with respect and appreciation. That's how you gain self respect....by standing up for yourself.

And if you can't make yourself happy, you can't expect a woman to make you happy.

 

[BeExcellent]

Offering advice like abundance mentality isn't addressing the individuals core issue of having some self respect. It's just offering them a band-aid and telling them to seek the external validation they crave elsewhere.

Look. You have 3 types of men here.

1. Those with scarcity thinking & clinger mentality. These are the ones who cling to whatever woman no matter her behavior. I'm not going to call names.

2. Those with complete inner game who can take or leave women and who have self respect, amused mastery, abundance mentality and inner game down cold. Examples of these guys are @guru1000, @Atom Smasher, @zekko, @dustmuffin, @BeTheChange, @deesade and @marmel75

3. Guys in between. For guys in between they are in process of learning self respect, of crafting themselves and building inner game & self awareness. These men are wrestling with what attitudes and mindsets and strategies to figure out what works/how to be successful for the mating strategy they select. I would put @Gambino, @Urbanyst, @narcissist and @Fruitbat in this group.

Each group is at a different place on the same continuum...and it doesn't matter which dating/mating strategy a guy subscribes to.

In order to learn self respect when it is lacking it is a process of observing in others, proving to oneself and finally knowing intrinsically.

The process takes time. Abundance mentality is like any other success promoting mindset. You have to accept that is exists before you can implement it successfully.

 

[Glassguy]

Look. You have 3 types of men here.

1. Those with scarcity thinking & clinger mentality. These are the ones who cling to whatever woman no matter her behavior. I'm not going to call names.

2. Those with complete inner game who can take or leave women and who have self respect, amused mastery, abundance mentality and inner game down cold. Examples of these guys are @guru1000, @Atom Smasher, @zekko, @dustmuffin, @BeTheChange, @deesade and @marmel75

3. Guys in between. For guys in between they are in process of learning self respect, of crafting themselves and building inner game & self awareness. These men are wrestling with what attitudes and mindsets and strategies to figure out what works/how to be successful for the mating strategy they select. I would put @Gambino, @Urbanyst, @narcissist and @Fruitbat in this group.

Each group is at a different place on the same continuum...and it doesn't matter which dating/mating strategy a guy subscribes to.

In order to learn self respect when it is lacking it is a process of observing in others, proving to oneself and finally knowing intrinsically.

The process takes time. Abundance mentality is like any other success promoting mindset. You have to accept that is exists before you can implement it successfully.

@BeExcellent

Hey what about me? Lol. Jk jk

 

[BeExcellent]

@BeExcellent

Hey what about me? Lol. Jk jk

Yes of course!!! A group 2 dude for sure, lol

 

[Victimothy]

If you don't have abundance, you won't understand. Those that whine of not having abundance and put up with a bad woman are just too lazy to find more women or do what's needed to self improve to get more women. Having hobbies, working out, career.....all things that should be getting attention in life. Not just women. It's a choice.

It is in fact much easier to withdraw attention from a woman who isn't deserving it when you have several others to spread it around to. Chicks sense that they are then in chase mode to get more of your attention, thus straighten up or you withdraw attention completely.

Women want what they can't have. If you have multiple women around, they are competing for your time and attention. Get it?

You are treated just as you allow people to treat you. To gain self respect, you have to be willing to cut the cord and walk away if a person is not treating you with respect and appreciation. That's how you gain self respect....by standing up for yourself.

And if you can't make yourself happy, you can't expect a woman to make you happy.

In other words you still advise using women as a crutch over having self respect because if you don't have abundance or the mentality you don't have self respect.

 

[Trump]

IMO a man should walk away from people that treat them poorly regardless. A man needs his own self-respect instead of an abundance belief which the advice itself sounds like it comes from men who need other women as a crutch to walk away,

OK walk away regardless.

You are questioning why people are giving a certain reason to walk away rather than the action itself.

Abundance mentality, self respect, too busy, too powerful, too rich, whatever your reason, do what's best for you.

 

[Glassguy]

In other words you still advise using women as a crutch over having self respect because if you don't have abundance or the mentality you don't have self respect.

No, guys with self respect issues will not have abundance. Ever.

If you had 20 million dollars would you be upset if you misplaced $100? No......

If you lost your only $20 you'd be upset. It's all you had.

Get it?

 

[Victimothy]

No, guys with self respect issues will not have abundance. Ever.

If you had 20 million dollars would you be upset if you misplaced $100? No......

If you lost your only $20 you'd be upset. It's all you had.

Get it?

You don't need to have abundance. You need to have self respect though.

 

[marmel75]

You don't need to have it, but like anything else, when you only have one option you tend to obsess over it.

This is pretty much exactly what happens with most guys: