WTF! dating sites theyll chat all day then go ghost when you ask to date

[Trump]

Its not about owing you anything its about basic logics.
The baker doesnt owe me any bread but if he puts a sign near his shops Im kinda annoyed if I go inside and he tells that since the previous week he decided to become a pro videogamer instead of a baker.

Bro I don't understand this post.

What does logic have to do with anything? You are not solving a math equation or constructing a building. You are dealing with a girl who has sexual experience and is using your emotion against you. Logic is the last thing that comes into play when it comes to women.

Have you guys not experienced real life situations?

- I've went to buy a condo that was listed For Sale. Realtor showed it to me. I said, ok I like it. Please write up an offer. He said "F you, it's sold already." Where the logic in that?
- I've spent time and money on girls I've really liked, we purchase a vacation together then when I confirm, they disappear. Where's the logic in that?
- I went to buy a car and after test driving, told the salesman I want to buy, he said "screw you, it's sold." Where the logic in that?
- Just a few days ago I got a number of a girl and she said "Please, please please call me." When I called her she said "F you, I have a boyfriend." Where's the logic in that?

I experience stuff like this 5 times a day. And then you guys think it's logical for a woman online to respond to you just because she created a profile?

Guys remember, anything you want the other party sometimes wants to see how much of a sucker you are to want it. They don't necessarily want to do the deal.

 

[Billtx49]

They don't necessarily want to do the deal.

Everyone wants something, if a woman on a dating site won't do a meet up, she's either getting the wrong vibe from you, or she only wants some male attention to help her feel better about herself, but make no mistake, she is advertising herself online as being available and she's on that site for a reason. Quite similar to a baker letting the public know that he has product available…

 

[logicallefty]

@Trump lol what you say about logic is so damn true. Especially with women like you say, and also, as I posted about in Anything Else today, with fvcking WORK. I have a saying written on my whiteboard across the very top "If you take the logic out of the equation, then you will better be able to understand how things work around here".

No logic can be assumed in anything anymore. Oh what you think I am logicallefty huh? Why, because it says so next to this post? Well F you, that not what it says!! It says bigdogturd! lmfao!

 

[Macaframalama]

Long time lurker here , but figured what better time to initiate my first post and share my experience with old. First, you have to realize how many bat chit individuals there are on these sites, both male and female. You also have to consider the amount of inapropriate messages women get from dudes everyday. Imo, you are initiating face to face contact too soon. Remember, the bat chit goes both ways. I use a protocol, a screening process really, that works well for both me and the female. I really don't have the time or the patience to stay in contact with more than 6 or women with usually varying degrees of interest. Slots 1, 2 & 3 are for the women I've built the best rapport and most interested in. 4, 5 & 6 are usually newer contacts and are just a safety net if one of the top teir fallout, but have a chance of cycling up higher on the rotation over time if they prove interesting. I usually wait a full week, before giving my cell # and telling them to text me. Sometimes, we'll just really hit it off and I will give her my number sooner. Then, if all goes well, we will text for another week or so, before finally asking for a date. I will throw the idea of a date around over either a text or a call, but I will never take out a date that won't talk over the phone. Ime, if they won't get on the other end of the line, they are usually flakey. Six is just the number I'm comfortable with juggling at once, but I'm sure you could spin as many as you wanted, but two weeks usually is the time it takes to build a rapport strong enough to see if you are into them and vice versa. I've met chicks and boned them within a few days and I've met a few previously, had a year and a half long relationship, came back and picked back up where we left off.

 

[derby1]

whats the advice on how many messages over days do you build up to before you ask for there phone number etc i get a bit bored after the 15th text

 

[sosousage]

whats the advice on how many messages over days do you build up to before you ask for there phone number etc i get a bit bored after the 15th text

no advice will help it. they are just flaky in 90%. to the 10% of them (but it feels its less than 10%) you just need to cast jokes and make some connection, ask about them and such. old is trashy.

PS that 10% that is willing to meet you is also chatting with other guys. and willing to meet them too. so be quick . entertain her for one week first

 

[Poonani Maker]

The Most back n' forth messages (total) I've had with one off of there in the last couple of months is 10. I hardly ever left open-ended questions and that, I guess, was my downfall, but I Never messaged her more than once in a row in the exchange, so the last to send a message was ME, so she just "falls off" the face of the planet so-to-speak. It's a "pride thing" maybe, a Selfish thing probably, but more than likely a "I'm-now-messaging-another-guy thing" and then with the NEXT guy she'll fall off the face of the planet and on and on and on and on and on wasting every "Guy's" time. She's Very below me in looks too, but younger (15 years and poor working at a Petsmart) of course, cause I'm old. So, homely in the face AND frumpy body, Poor, but Young (mid-20s), so she still gets hit-on a bit, probably at work too. She has the Egg (only 400 made by her in her lifetime), we have the Fertilizer (millions made during our lifetime).

 

[logicallefty]

no advice will help it. they are just flaky in 90%. to the 10% of them (but it feels its less than 10%) you just need to cast jokes and make some connection, ask about them and such. old is trashy.

PS that 10% that is willing to meet you is also chatting with other guys. and willing to meet them too. so be quick . entertain her for one week first

This ^^, The joke part especially. I personally go with clean humor for the most part. Maybe a sexual joke here and there very sparingly at the beginning. But as @Macaframalama said, women get a lot of inappropriate messages from guys. You don't want to be just another "creep" with uncontrollable sex on the mind (even if you are that, best if she doesn't know).

Here is a sample of how my initial conversations might flow:

HB: So what do you do for a living?
LL: I am a tech geek by day and cop by night.
HB: A Cop? wow, cool.
LL: Yeah...The cop thing I blame on my mother. She must have thrown me in the mud when I was a baby and turned me into a pig!
HB: lol
LL: So if/when I decide to go out with you, you better not order anything with bacon on it or I will run run run!
HB: Oh but I looove bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwiches
LL: Ok well its been nice talking to you.. bye! lol
HB: haha smartass
LL: Yep, that's me. My ass is so smart that it has a cap and gown attached to it.
HB: lol oh really, that would be interesting to see!
LL: Hmm, I'm not sure I want to show you by great smart ass, you damn bacon eater!
HB: Oh come on! please?! lol
LL: I will have to think about that. Maybe someday if I like you lol
HB: You know you will lol
....
...

I took a serious question and made it into something funny. Added a tiny element of something sexual in the future with her, but not overwhelmingly. Also, I added in that I am in control and she may or may not get a date or to see my ass someday. This is again just a sample of how my convos may go. Keep the humor a' flowing and don't be desperate to get laid.

PS: @Macaframalama, welcome to the forum. Glad you finally joined. It's much more fun posting than trolling!

 

[The Duke]

I was talking to an exgf of mine last night who joined Match.com the day before. She showed me her message log, she had 124 messages in a 24hour period. This girl is early 40's, HB8, blonde, thin, nice big boobies. Looks mid 30's. All of her pics are very conservative. She was overwhelmed and had no idea what to do. She didn't initiate any of the conversations and was only interested in 4 of the guys.

 

[marmel75]

so ive been bk online dating and even had 50% of women initiate on me chat away although i try to keep it short

then when i bring up getting together a handful go ghost i obviously dont pursue

how weird and pathetic the female race if this is there "life"

why?

a lot are there for entertainment purposes and/or looking for the "perfect" guy to go out with based on their narrow criteria.

Some might just not be interested in you.

My advice is to spend no more than 4 messages back and forth between starting th conversation and asking them out. Otherwise you will get in endless conversations with women that get you nowhere.

 

[marmel75]

whats the advice on how many messages over days do you build up to before you ask for there phone number etc i get a bit bored after the 15th text

Over days?

Dude you should be able to go on there right now, spend some time messaging 15-20 women and come out with a minimum of 5 numbers by the end of the night.

You need to move faster and stop being her penpal, it's a dating site not a messaging site. Dates happen in person.

 

[derby1]

make no mistake by the 15th message ie 6 or 7 each im asking them for there number and have been and my point was a lot are going ghost

 

[Macaframalama]

My advice is to spend no more than 4 messages back and forth between starting th conversation and asking them out. Otherwise you will get in endless conversations with women that get you nowhere.

This is possible too. The screening process is just as much for me to feel her out as vice versa. The reason I like to take as much time as I do is it gives me a better sense of her behavior patterns over time. For example, how does she handle the daily stress of daily life. Chit day at work, etc. Is she hot and cold, mood swings, constantly talking chit on her co-workers, etc. It's just as possible getting a date set up in a few short messages, but I've often found myself asking myself wtf was I thinking. If one was to go this route, I would highly suggest something short like coffee or meet over a lunch break and let it be known that your time is limited and possibly have somewhere else to be soon. If she's really hot and you still want to bone, but does turn out to be one of those, hit a bar where they are doing live sets. The music will be so loud that you won't be able to hear a word that comes out of her mouth and if you do, drink up.

 

[Macaframalama]

make no mistake by the 15th message ie 6 or 7 each im asking them for there number and have been and my point was a lot are going ghost

Look at what they do in their day to day life and take it into consideration. Job, etc. Professional women are already immersed in the hustle and bustle of daily life. The last thing allot of them want is to be rushed through the dating process. Ime, the ones that are most likely to jump on short notice are women that don't have a lot going on. Your college students and party chicks. There are exceptions, but that's a trend I've noticed in the past.

 

[raider87]

I was talking to an exgf of mine last night who joined Match.com the day before. She showed me her message log, she had 124 messages in a 24hour period. This girl is early 40's, HB8, blonde, thin, nice big boobies. Looks mid 30's. All of her pics are very conservative. She was overwhelmed and had no idea what to do. She didn't initiate any of the conversations and was only interested in 4 of the guys.

That explains it then.

 

[marmel75]

This is possible too. The screening process is just as much for me to feel her out as vice versa. The reason I like to take as much time as I do is it gives me a better sense of her behavior patterns over time. For example, how does she handle the daily stress of daily life. Chit day at work, etc. Is she hot and cold, mood swings, constantly talking chit on her co-workers, etc. It's just as possible getting a date set up in a few short messages, but I've often found myself asking myself wtf was I thinking. If one was to go this route, I would highly suggest something short like coffee or meet over a lunch break and let it be known that your time is limited and possibly have somewhere else to be soon. If she's really hot and you still want to bone, but does turn out to be one of those, hit a bar where they are doing live sets. The music will be so loud that you won't be able to hear a word that comes out of her mouth and if you do, drink up.

Dude, none of this is relevant. You CANNOT gauge that with any certainty via text and what someone says one time. This makes ZERO sense. You have no idea who this person is, you never met them and you have no context to see what they meant. All you are doing is reading words on a screen. Thinking you can "weed out" people with a few extra messages is ridiculous.

Hell, you can't even gauge it in person with any real certainty until maybe a month in when you see a pattern developing. Using a reaction or some response in a one-off situation is silliness, ESPECIALLY over text/messages without even knowing her.

Don't act like a woman and do dumb sh!t like making a 100% decision on 5% information.

Online dating should be used to bang chicks. If you meet a woman you fee is relationship material along the way then you got a huge bonus, but don't expect it. And don't invite her to coffee or lunch, invite her for drinks. Online chicks want to get fvcked, not meet up for brunch like they would do with their girlfriends.

 

[Macaframalama]

Dude, none of this is relevant. You CANNOT gauge that with any certainty via text and what someone says one time. This makes ZERO sense. You have no idea who this person is, you never met them and you have no context to see what they meant. All you are doing is reading words on a screen. Thinking you can "weed out" people with a few extra messages is ridiculous.

Hell, you can't even gauge it in person with any real certainty until maybe a month in when you see a pattern developing. Using a reaction or some response in a one-off situation is silliness, ESPECIALLY over text/messages without even knowing her.

Don't act like a woman and do dumb sh!t like making a 100% decision on 5% information.

Online dating should be used to bang chicks. If you meet a woman you fee is relationship material along the way then you got a huge bonus, but don't expect it. And don't invite her to coffee or lunch, invite her for drinks. Online chicks want to get fvcked, not meet up for brunch like they would do with their girlfriends.

You definitely CAN read learn to interpret tone pretty accurately over text. Also, you would be surprised what people reveal through text. And who doesn't meet via any outlet with the ultimate intensions of focking?.?. That's a blanket statement dude. For every chick online that wants to bone, you can find one that wants a Ltr. The last 3 ltr's of mine were women I had met online.

 

[Macaframalama]

Don't act like a woman and do dumb sh!t like making a 100% decision on 5% information.

Also, information is information. Don't know how you come up with this percentage calculation. Since you bring up female tendencies, I would say taking what another man says and get so bent out of shape about it is far more of the female inclination. You speak in absolutes. Everyone has their line as to what they'll put up with. Text or not, if flags are flying, on to the next. Idk about tinder and other sites, but I've got 10+ yrs experience with POF and ok. It's just another avenue to meet chicks from other cities that I wouldn't have otherwise. Never does anything worthwhile come quickly, nor easily.

 

[nismo-4]

They go ghost because you're not Chad. They wanted only attention, and when you ask them out, they know the attention won't continue until things go further. Thus, they're content in knowing you wanted to date them. They know you won't chase, be her new e-penpal, e-orbiter, etc. So what use does she have for you?

Don't hesitate to tell a girl she's not attractive.

Girls go online to get attention. When was the last time any of you motherf**kers on this board went online for attention? Never! Men go online for sex, women do it for validation and attention from behind a computer screen.

It's a numbers game, and hardly any of us are Chad or Tyrone. But if things stop, just delete her.

 

[Macaframalama]

Y'all mf'rs give too much power to online dating. Like there's some kind of prerequisite or criteria you have to meet to get online and meet people. Yes, there's allot of scallywaggers, but show me in real life there's not. Mf'rs now adays are all about absolutes, well guess what. There are none. Unless you are gorilla pimping and physically force another human to subscribe to your train of thought, there are NONE. I honestly am not trying to ruffle feathers on my first post and it's very easy to let egos get it the way, but ultimately the female chooses who she will submit to.