30 year old guy who wants to pick up 18-23 year olds...

[AJ84]

I have heard of mindfulness. Is 'mindfulness for anxiety and depression' different, i.e. something more focussed and specific? I discovered The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle 7 years ago and it completely changed me. I was in a dark place and sort of found this book at the right time. At the same time it held me back for years and kind of ****ed me up. I developed a lot of bad 'relaxing, moving slow, being in the moment' habits I still largely have. Tolle talks a lot about observing your thoughts, taking no notice of them, they are't who I am. However, I have always struggled with this. I have OCD and so the OCD mind just does not shut up. I have a lot of mental rituals. The OCD basically makes it hard to just observe the mind as it is and take no notice of it.

Yeah mindfulness involves observing your thoughts as just that, thoughts. One of the excercises is to close your eyes and just notice your thoughts as clouds passing in the sky, just observing each one as they pass, all of them, even the negative ones, without following them. It's not how we usually function of course so it's not easy to get to used to doing that but idea is when you have a negative thought to see if as a passing thought, rather than trying to push it away or dwell on it. In fact, trying to push negative thoughts and feelings away really just results in maintaining them and or the unpleasant physical and mental feelings associated with trying push them away.
I don't know what your OCD rituals are but ask yourself if the energy you put into them is nourishing and helping your deal with your anxiety or is it depleting your whole day. Even short mindfulness exercises can help if your OCD prevents you from doing long exercises. Google three minute breathing mindfulness.

Also a low dose Ativan ( not sure what that med is called in the US but it's a slow release anti-anxiety medication) may be helpful but it has addictive qualities. Some anti-depressants treat anxiety.

I don't know your story and may be babbling on here with a lot of stuff that your probably already tried, but I work in the mental health sector so I'm going by what I have learned from the clients I have worked with but I'm no expert on the subject.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

I have no idea. Some words of wisdom from guys on here that are going to motivate me in to turning around my life?

Well, there's a limit to the benefit of external motivation. There's certainly plenty of it round here, and plenty more elsewhere.

True authentic motivation has to come from within. We have to do what we are motivated towards, not what other people tell us that we should be motivated towards. And then we have to ACT on that motivation. If you want 18-23 year old girls, you have to go out and find them and talk to them, and learn how to pick them up. It's really not any more complicated than that.

If you want one last piece of inspiration, listen to this allegory, regards wasted talents - i.e. neither you nor anyone else stand to gain anything if you (continue to) do nothing with your life. And do with that, what you will.

 

[switch7]

read this: (especially the part on rituals)

http://jamesclear.com/motivation

 

[hughie1]

I honestly thought you were my younger brother because you sound exactly like him. You're obviously a virgin, 30, living with parents, no job, but you're probably pretty smart with no real reason you don't have a job and life for yourself. There are mentally handicapped people who have more going for themselves than you right now, so what's your excuse? You're probably a victim of "paralysis by analysis," i.e., you over-analyze everything afraid you're going to make a wrong decision, when you just need to make one and go with it.

But I say this with care rather than putting you down, but the fact is, you have absolutely no balls. You are not a man right now. Sure, you want to bang hot, young women. We all do. But hot young women don't just knock on your parents' door hoping you ask them out. They get fvcked by men who know what they want and get it, and that's not you right now.

Join a gym and start lifting weights, volunteer, join a networking or alumni group, something, anything. Just get out and interact with more people. This will increase your network, help with your mindset, improve your attractiveness, etc.

And another thing - get off the computer and start getting out in the real world. Unless you are a programmer and are good at coding, you're probably not going to make much money in this increasingly over-saturated field of online marketing.

not a virgin but not much experience either. 2.5 times maybe. and yes I do feel like there is a million things i want to do in the moment and don't know which one to start and so end up doing nothing, well reading a book or listening to podcast or something.

 

[sosousage]

assuming your from usa or uk then your ****ty minimal wage is something what I would kill for (and unless you live in some big/expensive city then prices are pretty similar to what is here)

ps I also do websites and IM yet never looked for coding websites more than html css and wordpress. i never had the urge to learn javascript or php because everything is ready-to-go on internet and application programmists usually make more money than web


also, why not focus on 30yo women?

 

[switch7]

not a virgin but not much experience either. 2.5 times maybe. and yes I do feel like there is a million things i want to do in the moment and don't know which one to start and so end up doing nothing, well reading a book or listening to podcast or something.

have you tried getting an internship for web development in your city? You won't get paid but you are living at home for free I am guessing? it will be a foot in the door in the direction you want to achieve yours goals.

 

[Milano]

Scared to talk to girls? Stop whacking it to porn. Matter of fact stop whacking it for a month straight then if you want go for once a week but NEVER to porn.

Your brain will quickly turn that scared thinking into "holy shyt I need to fuark something, oh wow look at that beautiful woman. Better get my @$$ over there and talk to her so I can fuark her over and over"

this is key key key