WelcomeToEarth
New Member
I’ve been seeing this girl for a couple of months; we go on at least a couple of dates a week and she normally sleeps over at my place (depends on her finding a babysitter). I rarely text her during the week and so far, she’s been doing 90% of the chasing. She's the one who often initiates contacts, brings up plans to see me, talks about doing couple’s things like spas, a cabin in the woods, spending her birthday together, etc.
While we have never brought up the “exclusivity” subject, we have taken the “out of sight, out of mind” approach. We’ve never mentioned seeing anyone else but each other. Basically, as far as we are concerned, neither of us is dating other people. Well, last night a couple of red flags went up that left me a bit confused.
She invited me over to chill for a bit and have a few drinks in the evening. I got to her place around 9:00 PM and she seemed normal - happy to see me, playful, affectionate, "can’t-get-her-hands-off-of-me" type of behavior as usual. Now, this chick has a really high sexy drive and she’s always ready to jump at the chance of screwing each other’s brains out no matter where we are or what time of day. That behavior was also sort of there last night except that unlike every single time we have sex, she rushed through it - pretty much a 5-minute quickie (we go for hours) and insisted on finishing me off with a BJ immediately (how could I say no. LOL.) However, after giving it some thought, it felt almost as if she was saving having full-on sex for later and specifically wanted to make sure I didn’t finish inside of her, which 9 out of 10 times is what we do (she’s on the pill). As a matter of fact, I asked why she didn’t want to take it all the way to her having an orgasm and she literally said - “I’m saving it for when I see you again”. I know I should’ve probably responded with something along the lines of “Why wait? I’m already here!” but I didn’t since I felt that it would come off as needy.
Around midnight, she says - I think it’s time to go to bed. Also strange since I have spent the night at her place last weekend but for some reason she didn't suggest it this time. Granted we both had to work the next day but regardless, she didn’t bring up the topic at all. She does live with her 5-year old daughter and elderly mom but that hasn’t stopped her before.
We cuddled and made out for few more minutes on the couch until I decided to get up and leave. We hugged goodbye and she gave me the “I’m going to miss you, I’m going to be so horny fantasizing about you” BS and asks me to text her when I get home.
As I was leaving her apartment, I run into some dude hanging around close to her building. He was just standing there and wasn’t exactly in front of her door but close enough to have a line of sight. At first it looked like he was just playing with his phone but once I was a few feet away, I looked back and he seemed to be on a call. Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t pay attention to something like this but being already uneasy, I started to wonder if he was there waiting for me to leave (I know… paranoid!)
So I got in my car, made the 20 minute drive home and texted her to let her know that I made it OK. Well, she didn’t respond until 20 minutes later which seemed odd to. If you do the math, 20 minutes after I left, plus another 20 minutes, that's 40 minutes total which is plenty of time to have a decent sex session. LOL.
In conclusion, this is the conspiracy theory I put together:
Red Flag #1 - Rushed through sex despite being at her own place (first time ever - saving it for later?)
Red Flag #2 - Didn’t want to have orgasm (first time ever, it’s not very difficult for her to have one - saving for later?)
Red Flag #3 - Didn’t want me to finish inside of her (fresh vagina for later?)
Red Flag #4 - No invitation to spend the night (clear path?)
Red Flag #5 - A guy hanging around her building right as I was living, fiddling with his phone (waiting for me to leave?)
Red Flag #6 - Took her 20 minutes to respond to my text (approx. 40 minutes total since I left her apartment.)
Am I being super paranoid and overthinking things? Despite this being all me listening to my gut and refusing to ignore the “something is off” feeling, I can tell you from experience that the devil is in the details.
Should I soft-next or hard-next her? Right now, I’m considering a soft next, including cancelling our Saturday date until I can clear my thoughts a bit and give myself time to look at the bigger picture. Also as punishment… maybe? However, how good is the punishment if she has no clue of what she did wrong, or even worse, that it’s all in my head and there was zero wrongdoing (no idea if I’ll ever know.)
With her being sort of a plate, I know I shouldn’t care about who she sleeps with and to some extent I don’t, I’m just not a fan of her withholding sex with me for another guy. She can do that any other day of the week, but not cut me short to fvck someone else.
Whether I soft or hard next her, I’m sure she would want to know the reason why. If I tell her my story and it happens to not be accurate since I really don’t have any hard evidence of the actual events, I’m going to make a real ass of myself; not to mention the big AFC sign hanging off my neck for the rest of my life. We have mutual close friends that like to throw regular get-togethers so chances of running into each other eventually is very, very likely.
Let’s hear what you guys think!
While we have never brought up the “exclusivity” subject, we have taken the “out of sight, out of mind” approach. We’ve never mentioned seeing anyone else but each other. Basically, as far as we are concerned, neither of us is dating other people. Well, last night a couple of red flags went up that left me a bit confused.
She invited me over to chill for a bit and have a few drinks in the evening. I got to her place around 9:00 PM and she seemed normal - happy to see me, playful, affectionate, "can’t-get-her-hands-off-of-me" type of behavior as usual. Now, this chick has a really high sexy drive and she’s always ready to jump at the chance of screwing each other’s brains out no matter where we are or what time of day. That behavior was also sort of there last night except that unlike every single time we have sex, she rushed through it - pretty much a 5-minute quickie (we go for hours) and insisted on finishing me off with a BJ immediately (how could I say no. LOL.) However, after giving it some thought, it felt almost as if she was saving having full-on sex for later and specifically wanted to make sure I didn’t finish inside of her, which 9 out of 10 times is what we do (she’s on the pill). As a matter of fact, I asked why she didn’t want to take it all the way to her having an orgasm and she literally said - “I’m saving it for when I see you again”. I know I should’ve probably responded with something along the lines of “Why wait? I’m already here!” but I didn’t since I felt that it would come off as needy.
Around midnight, she says - I think it’s time to go to bed. Also strange since I have spent the night at her place last weekend but for some reason she didn't suggest it this time. Granted we both had to work the next day but regardless, she didn’t bring up the topic at all. She does live with her 5-year old daughter and elderly mom but that hasn’t stopped her before.
We cuddled and made out for few more minutes on the couch until I decided to get up and leave. We hugged goodbye and she gave me the “I’m going to miss you, I’m going to be so horny fantasizing about you” BS and asks me to text her when I get home.
As I was leaving her apartment, I run into some dude hanging around close to her building. He was just standing there and wasn’t exactly in front of her door but close enough to have a line of sight. At first it looked like he was just playing with his phone but once I was a few feet away, I looked back and he seemed to be on a call. Under normal circumstances I wouldn’t pay attention to something like this but being already uneasy, I started to wonder if he was there waiting for me to leave (I know… paranoid!)
So I got in my car, made the 20 minute drive home and texted her to let her know that I made it OK. Well, she didn’t respond until 20 minutes later which seemed odd to. If you do the math, 20 minutes after I left, plus another 20 minutes, that's 40 minutes total which is plenty of time to have a decent sex session. LOL.
In conclusion, this is the conspiracy theory I put together:
Red Flag #1 - Rushed through sex despite being at her own place (first time ever - saving it for later?)
Red Flag #2 - Didn’t want to have orgasm (first time ever, it’s not very difficult for her to have one - saving for later?)
Red Flag #3 - Didn’t want me to finish inside of her (fresh vagina for later?)
Red Flag #4 - No invitation to spend the night (clear path?)
Red Flag #5 - A guy hanging around her building right as I was living, fiddling with his phone (waiting for me to leave?)
Red Flag #6 - Took her 20 minutes to respond to my text (approx. 40 minutes total since I left her apartment.)
Am I being super paranoid and overthinking things? Despite this being all me listening to my gut and refusing to ignore the “something is off” feeling, I can tell you from experience that the devil is in the details.
Should I soft-next or hard-next her? Right now, I’m considering a soft next, including cancelling our Saturday date until I can clear my thoughts a bit and give myself time to look at the bigger picture. Also as punishment… maybe? However, how good is the punishment if she has no clue of what she did wrong, or even worse, that it’s all in my head and there was zero wrongdoing (no idea if I’ll ever know.)
With her being sort of a plate, I know I shouldn’t care about who she sleeps with and to some extent I don’t, I’m just not a fan of her withholding sex with me for another guy. She can do that any other day of the week, but not cut me short to fvck someone else.
Whether I soft or hard next her, I’m sure she would want to know the reason why. If I tell her my story and it happens to not be accurate since I really don’t have any hard evidence of the actual events, I’m going to make a real ass of myself; not to mention the big AFC sign hanging off my neck for the rest of my life. We have mutual close friends that like to throw regular get-togethers so chances of running into each other eventually is very, very likely.
Let’s hear what you guys think!
Last edited:
