30 year old guy who wants to pick up 18-23 year olds...

[ChristopherColumbus]

I'd recommend a regime of swimming. Good for both body and mind... and gets you around people.

 

[Desdinova]

I turned the big 30 not long ago. I live with parents. No job. No income. Starting from zero.

I can never understand how someone can squander their 20s away and end up jobless and woman-less. You went to college and pretty much wasted your time.

I have always had a goal of backpacking / travelling the world for at least 6 months or do it indefinitely as a digital nomad (make money online from anywhere using laptop.)

What I've learned is the only real guaranteed way to make money online is to sell product. Lots of people in the last couple of years have quit their jobs to make Youtube their job. Now that Youtube has started demonitizing channels, they're all struggling.

If you want to make REAL money, you'll have to get your ass off your computer chair and go do some REAL work. There are very few ways to make real money by sitting your ass in front of a computer screen. Obviously, you haven't found any of these ways in the last 10 years because you're broke and living with your parents at age 30

I have various web skills and being doing stuff / making money on the web on / off for over ten years. Due to the ever changing pace of the web my skills have largely become out-dated.

Then it's time to do something different. You're either going to be a web developer for large companies, or you're going to be doing nothing. The little guys don't need web developers anymore with social media and blogs. Nobody visits company websites unless they need something.

Another goal is to get good with women, have lots of sex, have fun while I am still young enough. My history with women is virtually non-existent.

This also requires REAL work. You cannot sit on Tinder or POF and expect to get laid. You need to build your skills at human interaction. That involves going outside and into public places. You're going to go out into the real world, face real rejection, and learn what works and what doesn't. You're going to be put into uncomfortable situations, and you'll have to learn how to deal with them. If you don't put in the effort and risk, you're going to end up being 40 years old, single, and unemployed.

I want to travel and I want to pick up girls. I want to fulfill my potential while I still have my youth and looks.

You can't fulfil this without money and experience. You lack it in both picking up women and working for your money. You can only fulfil your dreams if you work for them. I honestly don't know what to tell you on where or how to start. You're in the same situation as somebody who has freshly graduated high school, but you're in your 30s. You have to pick ONE thing to start working on. I would suggest focusing on your non-existent financial situation. Women are disposable and your parents aren't going to be able to support your ass when they're dead. Go get a real job instead of fantasizing about making millions on the internet.

If you want to make money travelling, then you'll need to get a job that requires it. Work towards getting a job with something like The Red Cross doing disaster relief.

I want to bang the 18-23 year olds largely to make up for the unfulfilled potential when I was this age

I was able to spend my 30s doing that, so it's not impossible. The problem is, you want to have it all with doing minimal work. You actually need to put the time into making these women attracted to you. Are you willing to do that? Are you willing to risk rejection? Are you ready to get your feelings hurt? Because all of that is going to happen before you become successful.

I feel like some ****ty minimum wage job is the last thing I need now.

I fvcking hate statements like this. You make it sound like your unemployed ass is entitled to a better job than anybody who is actually putting work in. What the fvck makes you think you're better than a teenager working at McDonalds? He's the one who has a paycheck. He's the one putting work in. He's the one who'll be able to put SOMETHING under the "work experience" section on his resume. A teenager working at McDonalds is BETTER than your lazy unemployed ass.

You need to get this idea out of your head that you're better than a fast food worker. You have NOTHING. Get your ass outside and start applying for work. DO IT TODAY because you don't have anything better to do.

 

[switch7]

Op do you by any chance smoke cannabis?

 

[skinnyguy]

If you're fantasizing about banging women instead of moving out of your parents place, you'll be depressed.

You need to find a job before you even think about woman. A 30 year old man should have value over a 22 year old but the 22 year old girls are doing much better than you are.

It's concerning that you don't seem to care at all about your financial situation

 

[Building_and_Loan]

I honestly thought you were my younger brother because you sound exactly like him. You're obviously a virgin, 30, living with parents, no job, but you're probably pretty smart with no real reason you don't have a job and life for yourself. There are mentally handicapped people who have more going for themselves than you right now, so what's your excuse? You're probably a victim of "paralysis by analysis," i.e., you over-analyze everything afraid you're going to make a wrong decision, when you just need to make one and go with it.

But I say this with care rather than putting you down, but the fact is, you have absolutely no balls. You are not a man right now. Sure, you want to bang hot, young women. We all do. But hot young women don't just knock on your parents' door hoping you ask them out. They get fvcked by men who know what they want and get it, and that's not you right now.

Join a gym and start lifting weights, volunteer, join a networking or alumni group, something, anything. Just get out and interact with more people. This will increase your network, help with your mindset, improve your attractiveness, etc.

And another thing - get off the computer and start getting out in the real world. Unless you are a programmer and are good at coding, you're probably not going to make much money in this increasingly over-saturated field of online marketing.

 

[hughie1]

So... What are you waiting for.

I have no idea. Some words of wisdom from guys on here that are going to motivate me in to turning around my life?

 

[Bible_Belt]

Although there is a strong correlation with living at home at age 30 and not getting laid, it is merely correlation, and not cause. The actual cause is inside your head. If a suitcase of cash dropped out of the sky into your hands right now, you would be just as clueless with girls. What tends to happen, is that you blame your financial circumstances as an excuse so you don't have to go through the painful trial and error process of learning to be good with women. If you want to learn any game that you've never played, you are going to be awful at it to start, and do nothing but lose. Enduring those failures and learning from them is how everyone gets better. But if you never play, you'll never get any better.

 

[Desdinova]

I have no idea. Some words of wisdom from guys on here that are going to motivate me in to turning around my life?

Nobody here is going to motivate you. All we can do is point you in the right direction and give you advice. You have to provide your own motivation.

 

[hughie1]

I see from one of your posts that you have suffered from social anxiety in the past and think you may have depression.

Have you ever heard of mindfulness mediation for anxiety and depression? It's a cognitive therapy based process that helps people deal with anxiety and depression in the moments when they feel it. It's not a process where one is taught to avoid feelings or thoughts that contribute to anxiety or depression, rather, people are taught how to tolerate them (like building distress tolerance). It's the premise of not believing everything you think (ie I think I'm a dumb so I must be dumb) and learng how to cope with negative thoughts and feelings by acknowledging them and allowing them to pass, rather than dwelling on them and letting them spiral into more negative thoughts and feelings.

I have heard of mindfulness. Is 'mindfulness for anxiety and depression' different, i.e. something more focussed and specific? I discovered The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle 7 years ago and it completely changed me. I was in a dark place and sort of found this book at the right time. At the same time it held me back for years and kind of ****ed me up. I developed a lot of bad 'relaxing, moving slow, being in the moment' habits I still largely have. Tolle talks a lot about observing your thoughts, taking no notice of them, they are't who I am. However, I have always struggled with this. I have OCD and so the OCD mind just does not shut up. I have a lot of mental rituals. The OCD basically makes it hard to just observe the mind as it is and take no notice of it.

 

[hughie1]

Start acting like a man? Men have ambition, drive and determination. You seem to have none of those. Unless you figure out a way to get those, there isn't much to say. Your parents have done you a great disservice by letting you mooch off them.

What exactly is that teaching you? That it's OK to sit around and do nothing because they will take care of you. I just don't understand how you are cool with that...I would do whatever I had to not to end up in that situation.

Problem is, I still feel like a boy or a teenager. I believe I am 'ambitious.' I do want to better myself. I don't want to settle for mediocrity. Drive and determination I may be lacking in. I just feel devoid of energy. Sometimes I just want to get under the covers. I would not say my parents have let me 'mooch' of them. I have not had a penny of my parents since I was 16. I pay my keep.

 

[hughie1]

99.9% sure OP is a troll.

Keep taking the bait at your own risk.

Says the guy whose name is of possibly the biggest troll in history.

 

[switch7]

I have heard of mindfulness. Is 'mindfulness for anxiety and depression' different, i.e. something more focussed and specific? I discovered The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle 7 years ago and it completely changed me. I was in a dark place and sort of found this book at the right time. At the same time it held me back for years and kind of ****ed me up. I developed a lot of bad 'relaxing, moving slow, being in the moment' habits I still largely have. Tolle talks a lot about observing your thoughts, taking no notice of them, they are't who I am. However, I have always struggled with this. I have OCD and so the OCD mind just does not shut up. I have a lot of mental rituals. The OCD basically makes it hard to just observe the mind as it is and take no notice of it.

You mentioned obsessive compulsive thoughts, this with the fact that you have only ever had a job for 6 months of your 30 year life tells me that you need professional help. Have u ever been to the doctor or had a therapist?

 

[hughie1]

You mentioned obsessive compulsive thoughts, this with the fact that you have only ever had a job for 6 months of your 30 year life tells me that you need professional help. Have u ever been to the doctor or had a therapist?

I did get 20 weeks therapy for my OCD over 2 years ago.

 

[hughie1]

You need outward orientated adventure. Get out of the safe cocooned environment you are currently mired in.

I do need outward oriented adventure but stuck in a rut and don't know where to go from here.

 

[hughie1]

Staying up late, sleeping all day and never leaving the house will definitely lead to depression. I've been there a couple of times in my life. Add alcohol/marijuana to the mix and you have a recipe for disaster.

You need structure in your life. Start going to bed at the same time every night and forcing yourself to wake up early. Find reasons to get out of the house during the day so you can get some sun and social interaction.

Get a job waiting tables or something. It will allow you to be around younger women and will help with the things I already mentioned.

I have had this sleeping pattern trouble for 7 years now. Before this (when I had reason to leave the house, to have to be up early, when I was in education) I was a severe insomniac. Since not having a job, not having had a reason to get up early, I just go to bed when I feel like it and get up when I feel like it. Over and over again I have stayed up for 24 hours in order to get my sleeping pattern back to normal. It is not long before I slowly drift back in to this crappy sleeping pattern again. I find it impossible to just go to bed early as I know I will be laying there awake bored. And getting up early just feels impossible. I think it may be time for an all nighter again to reset the sleep clock again.

 

[hughie1]

Staying up late, sleeping all day and never leaving the house will definitely lead to depression. I've been there a couple of times in my life. Add alcohol/marijuana to the mix and you have a recipe for disaster.

You need structure in your life. Start going to bed at the same time every night and forcing yourself to wake up early. Find reasons to get out of the house during the day so you can get some sun and social interaction.

Get a job waiting tables or something. It will allow you to be around younger women and will help with the things I already mentioned.

By the way I don't do marijuana and it is rare i drink alcohol.

 

[hughie1]

I can never understand how someone can squander their 20s away and end up jobless and woman-less. You went to college and pretty much wasted your time.

It is complicated. I don't even fully understand it.



What I've learned is the only real guaranteed way to make money online is to sell product. Lots of people in the last couple of years have quit their jobs to make Youtube their job. Now that Youtube has started demonitizing channels, they're all struggling.

The aim is to get in to Amazon FBA

If you want to make REAL money, you'll have to get your ass off your computer chair and go do some REAL work. There are very few ways to make real money by sitting your ass in front of a computer screen. Obviously, you haven't found any of these ways in the last 10 years because you're broke and living with your parents at age 30



Then it's time to do something different. You're either going to be a web developer for large companies, or you're going to be doing nothing. The little guys don't need web developers anymore with social media and blogs. Nobody visits company websites unless they need something.

You sound like someone who has experience in the online, web design, computer world? What is it may I ask?


This also requires REAL work. You cannot sit on Tinder or POF and expect to get laid. You need to build your skills at human interaction. That involves going outside and into public places. You're going to go out into the real world, face real rejection, and learn what works and what doesn't. You're going to be put into uncomfortable situations, and you'll have to learn how to deal with them. If you don't put in the effort and risk, you're going to end up being 40 years old, single, and unemployed.



You can't fulfil this without money and experience. You lack it in both picking up women and working for your money. You can only fulfil your dreams if you work for them. I honestly don't know what to tell you on where or how to start. You're in the same situation as somebody who has freshly graduated high school, but you're in your 30s. You have to pick ONE thing to start working on. I would suggest focusing on your non-existent financial situation. Women are disposable and your parents aren't going to be able to support your ass when they're dead. Go get a real job instead of fantasizing about making millions on the internet.

I am not fantasizing about making millions. £500-1000 a week will do.

If you want to make money travelling, then you'll need to get a job that requires it. Work towards getting a job with something like The Red Cross doing disaster relief.



I was able to spend my 30s doing that, so it's not impossible. The problem is, you want to have it all with doing minimal work. You actually need to put the time into making these women attracted to you. Are you willing to do that? Are you willing to risk rejection? Are you ready to get your feelings hurt? Because all of that is going to happen before you become successful.



I fvcking hate statements like this. You make it sound like your unemployed ass is entitled to a better job than anybody who is actually putting work in. What the fvck makes you think you're better than a teenager working at McDonalds? He's the one who has a paycheck. He's the one putting work in. He's the one who'll be able to put SOMETHING under the "work experience" section on his resume. A teenager working at McDonalds is BETTER than your lazy unemployed ass.

You need to get this idea out of your head that you're better than a fast food worker. You have NOTHING. Get your ass outside and start applying for work. DO IT TODAY because you don't have anything better to do.

You have misunderstood. I am not better than anybody. Not better than somebody who gets off their ass and works for a living. I don't look down my nose at people. However, am I better than some fast food job (not the worker, the job itself)? Yes I am. And it is not just about being better than the job. I just feel so depressed right now and no the only job I can get with my experience is the **** low wage job. My only job was at age 26 and for 6 months and was at a call centre. I was miserable. They released me after 6 months because I was late too often. Why was that? My OCD was the main reason I was late. I used to get everything organised the night before, go to bed early, get up early. I was still late. Another reason I don't fancy a normal ass job is because those sort of environments people tend to have low ambition and are negative and gossip etc. You are an average of the five people you spend the most time with. I just know this is not the environment I need to be in.

 

[hughie1]

Op do you by any chance smoke cannabis?

Nope. No cannabis. Don't drink (unless on the rare social occasion).

 

[Trump]

I can never understand how someone can squander their 20s away and end up jobless and woman-less. You went to college and pretty much wasted your time.

What I've learned is the only real guaranteed way to make money online is to sell product. Lots of people in the last couple of years have quit their jobs to make Youtube their job. Now that Youtube has started demonitizing channels, they're all struggling.

If you want to make REAL money, you'll have to get your ass off your computer chair and go do some REAL work. There are very few ways to make real money by sitting your ass in front of a computer screen. Obviously, you haven't found any of these ways in the last 10 years because you're broke and living with your parents at age 30

Then it's time to do something different. You're either going to be a web developer for large companies, or you're going to be doing nothing. The little guys don't need web developers anymore with social media and blogs. Nobody visits company websites unless they need something.

This also requires REAL work. You cannot sit on Tinder or POF and expect to get laid. You need to build your skills at human interaction. That involves going outside and into public places. You're going to go out into the real world, face real rejection, and learn what works and what doesn't. You're going to be put into uncomfortable situations, and you'll have to learn how to deal with them. If you don't put in the effort and risk, you're going to end up being 40 years old, single, and unemployed.

You can't fulfil this without money and experience. You lack it in both picking up women and working for your money. You can only fulfil your dreams if you work for them. I honestly don't know what to tell you on where or how to start. You're in the same situation as somebody who has freshly graduated high school, but you're in your 30s. You have to pick ONE thing to start working on. I would suggest focusing on your non-existent financial situation. Women are disposable and your parents aren't going to be able to support your ass when they're dead. Go get a real job instead of fantasizing about making millions on the internet.

If you want to make money travelling, then you'll need to get a job that requires it. Work towards getting a job with something like The Red Cross doing disaster relief.

I was able to spend my 30s doing that, so it's not impossible. The problem is, you want to have it all with doing minimal work. You actually need to put the time into making these women attracted to you. Are you willing to do that? Are you willing to risk rejection? Are you ready to get your feelings hurt? Because all of that is going to happen before you become successful.

I fvcking hate statements like this. You make it sound like your unemployed ass is entitled to a better job than anybody who is actually putting work in. What the fvck makes you think you're better than a teenager working at McDonalds? He's the one who has a paycheck. He's the one putting work in. He's the one who'll be able to put SOMETHING under the "work experience" section on his resume. A teenager working at McDonalds is BETTER than your lazy unemployed ass.

You need to get this idea out of your head that you're better than a fast food worker. You have NOTHING. Get your ass outside and start applying for work. DO IT TODAY because you don't have anything better to do.

How are you guys sleeping with tons and tons and tons and tons of beautiful women with your eyes closed and one hand tied behind your back, and then you don't realize OP is a troll?

For so many guys apparently it is so so so simple to get sex from a beautiful beautiful woman, easier than drinking water. I mean if you can't sleep with a beautiful woman in less than 15 seconds, you have no game.

And then the OP comes and tricks you guys in less than 10 seconds. If he can do it, beautiful woman would make your head spin in 6 seconds. So either you guys are lying, or paying these beautiful beautiful women to have sex with you.

 

[MrJack]

Here's the deal. I turned the big 30 not long ago. I live with parents. No job. No income. Starting from zero. I have always had a goal of backpacking / travelling the world for at least 6 months or do it indefinitely as a digital nomad (make money online from anywhere using laptop.)

I have various web skills and being doing stuff / making money on the web on / off for over ten years. Due to the ever changing pace of the web my skills have largely become out-dated. I have half made the decision to get serious and put in the time and effort to learn and practice all I need to in order to make my dream a reality.

This is my main goal or my "major definite purpose." Another goal is to get good with women, have lots of sex, have fun while I am still young enough. My history with women is virtually non-existent. I've come to realise this is largely due to the nice guy syndrome. I actually think, well pretty certain, I am a good looking guy. Well, either that or I have been completely delusional all these years. I mean, not like I have the track record of having banged loads of girls. No, seriously, going back ten years or more, I have very often got stares from good-looking women. I know that ("thirsty") look they give. Plus, I've always, generally, liked what I see in the mirror. I do remember on at least two occasions girls I sort of knew telling me I was attractive.

Two times does not sound like much but considering I had an awful social life throughout my 20s, hardly interacted with women as I was terrified of them, it's still two times. In NMMNG he says how nice guys sometimes use good looks, their personal appearance as a way of gaining approval or validating themselves. That's definitely me. Back when I was in university ages 20-23, especially final year, I felt so good with the amount of female attention I got. Yet I hardly spoke to females the whole time I was there. I felt good in the aforementioned regard yet at the same time never believed any female would want to be with me.

Anyhow, it is something that really annoys me and is a huge regret of mine, not taking advantages of my looks back in my early to mid 20s, not banging girls left right and centre. There was this one girl who I was infatuated with. It was so obvious she liked me back but I never had the balls to speak to her.

All this sounds vain and selfish but if women are attracted to you and you are a young guy, I know realise there is nothing wrong with it. Anyhow I want to travel and I want to pick up girls. I want to fulfill my potential while I still have my youth and looks. I can pass for early 20s so I've been told over and over so the age gap thing may not be such a thing. I want to bang the 18-23 year olds largely to make up for the unfulfilled potential when I was this age, and secondly because I find these women most attractive, naturally. Am I wrong? Am I bad? Strange? Creepy? Share your thoughts, opinions, experiences, advice. Thanks

Scared to talk to girls? Stop whacking it to porn. Matter of fact stop whacking it for a month straight then if you want go for once a week but NEVER to porn.

Your brain will quickly turn that scared thinking into "holy shyt I need to fuark something, oh wow look at that beautiful woman. Better get my @$$ over there and talk to her so I can fuark her over and over"