How to act with a women who still has a x floating around

[Jamie12345]

Hi All,

The current woman I'm dating was supposed to be married last Saturday, she ended the engagement in January. If the past week he has been calling round to see her chatting to her trying to get her back etc.

The woman has told him about me etc but I don't know how she left it with him that time they spoke.

How should I respond to this just act like his beta and doesn't matter or what?

Cheers

 

[bigneil]

Give her all the space she needs.

She was damaged by this event, so you have to let her resolve it on her own. She has more of an emotional investment with him so if she chooses him don't take it personally.

You might choose to take a step back right now and go MIA for a few days. Let her have just him.

Then she'll come back and things will be better with you for several reasons:

1) She will no longer be as damaged
2) She will have missed you
3) She will have realized how strong you are
4) You will have improved as you are always focused on self improvement

 

[Jamie12345]

She's actually going on holiday for a week today with her family obviously without him which is why he went round last night to beg for her back

 

[bigneil]

She's actually going on holiday for a week today with her family obviously without him which is why he went round last night to beg for her back

Good timing - STOP writing to her. Wait until she reaches out which will be 3 days after she gets back. Don't try to see her right away, she'll be exhausted. You want to see her 7-10 days after she gets back, but have her missing you, and have a story about a new girl you are dating, all the while you are near a bedroom.

Also, accept the fact there is a 90% chance she will have sex with someone on her trip. Women don't take trips, trips take women.

 

[Jamie12345]

I asked her how she left it with him she said this,

I've left with I'm going away to clear my head. When I'm with you I wanna see how things turn out with you.
When he comes then I feel like I wanna make it work with him.
Which makes me not want to be with either of you x

wtf do i do now

 

[Chev.Chelios]

I asked her how she left it with him she said this,

I've left with I'm going away to clear my head. When I'm with you I wanna see how things turn out with you.
When he comes then I feel like I wanna make it work with him.
Which makes me not want to be with either of you x

wtf do i do now

Quit being a floor rug and walk away..

Go out every night and get 100 girls phone numbers.

Post back the results.

 

[bigneil]

I asked her how she left it with him she said this,

I've left with I'm going away to clear my head. When I'm with you I wanna see how things turn out with you.
When he comes then I feel like I wanna make it work with him.
Which makes me not want to be with either of you x

wtf do i do now

Now you messed up. We told you not to write to her. Now she cemented her decision, so you'll need social proof of you with a girl hot enough to make her jealous, someone she knows. You'll feel pain until you have a new girl.

Did you even have sex with her? How many dates?

 

[Jamie12345]

We normally talk all day every day on txt she would think it was weird or it really bothered me about her x if I just didn't txt her for 2 weeks.

We had sex yes within 2 weeks of knowing her, everything was going great then her x showed up and got into her head, and she went into the I need space routine etc, then a week later I went round to hers and everything was completely normal kissing kino etc this was last Sunday night.

Don't know what the next step to take is

 

[bigneil]

We normally talk all day every day on txt

DON'T DO THIS. Once in a while but only when you are advancing the relationship. SHE should be initiating the conversations on a given day, and you respond with 2-3 MEANINGFUL texts and then end the conversation early - and set up a date.

Your next step is DO NOTHING until she reaches out. Then, after 2 conversations spread out over a few days, ask her out in as few words as possible.

 

[exhausted]

Abort ASAP

 

[wifehunter]

x = red flag

 

[Billtx49]

He has a very strong history with her with marriage was being considered. You don't. Her feelings are still unclear, and it's not even a semi-clean start for her so go find other women. You're only an emotional buffer at best for her right now.

 

[resilient]

OP... acquire more interesting plates while you keep this one on the back burner...

 

[Young OG]

This whole situation sounds like nothing but trouble and stress. Her ex is higher up then you on her high score list. You will never pass him up. I would just drop her and meet new women.

 

[Chev.Chelios]

Do not talk to her on the phone.. ever again

 

[marmel75]

The same way you would any other woman.

 

[Thorninmyside]

Don't walk. Run. No, wait. Drive. It's faster. Why put your happiness in someone else's hands?

 

[nismo-4]

Second place is first loser. Find someone you can come in first with.

 

[Red Legg]

Second place is first loser. Find someone you can come in first with.

No way Jose...I would rather be a back burner orbiter because I would have zero fvcks expected...BUT I am so good at being a back burner orbiter that I always take over first place and p!ss all the other orbiters off,because I stay in first place forever once I get there.