I was wrong, 32 days later and she contacts me

[exhausted]

Through text, Something along the lines that she thought each passing day would get easier but she misses me more today than ever, her kid is so desperate to see me that she asked her dad to drive her to my house, she's sorry to bother me but for what it's worth misses me and thinks of me everyday.

I didn't respond.

I'm surprised I figured she had a bf by now.. knowing the cluster b, altho she has always been more of a depressed on the couch when things are bad, not at the bar or out and about...

It's a shame this girl can't get help for the split personalities..

This doesn't make it any easier, but harder..

 

[RedScorpion]

Stick with your logic mind, and what you've decided before. I understand the sudden pressure you might get from contact. But the emotional mind plays tricks on you. And it's powerful at times.

It's normal that it feels harder because of her contacting you.

 

[Chev.Chelios]

her kid is so desperate to see me that she asked her dad to drive her to my house.

wow, just fvcking wow.. the hell these stupid azz woman put there kids through.

 

[Billtx49]

I smell a possible hoover routine coming.

 

[Young OG]

wow, just fvcking wow.. the hell these stupid azz woman put there kids through.

^This. Single moms are straight trash

 

[exhausted]

Stick with your logic mind, and what you've decided before. I understand the sudden pressure you might get from contact. But the emotional mind plays tricks on you. And it's powerful at times.

It's normal that it feels harder because of her contacting you.

Yes I refuse to respond due to emotions.

 

[exhausted]

wow, just fvcking wow.. the hell these stupid azz woman put there kids through.

Her kid is 6 and i was around her for over 3 years, it's normal for the kid to want me as she loved me.
Doesn't fix her chit mother.

 

[exhausted]

^This. Single moms are straight trash

If she puts her kid around any other men yes she's trash but i was the only guy around the kid 3 years of 6 years old and the mom wanted to marry me the last 2 years so i get letting the kid be close to me.

Doesn't excuse being a chitty person tho

 

[exhausted]

I smell a possible hoover routine coming.

I'd assume that was it.. 5 hours ago and nothing sense.
Tomorrow is labor day and all holidays are at her moms lots of family and i attended all of them so maybe she is getting emotional as i wont be at this one..
her family adored me... seriously, im fun and good with people, successful, her other bfs were losers (per her uncle and dad)

that's a huge thing i will.miss, get togethers for Holiday's , all my family is moved or dead so it sucks.. i really enjoyed the get togethers.. now i will sit around with my dog..

I grew up with a big italian family so it's rough not having that.

 

[stovepipe]

If she puts her kid around any other men yes she's trash but i was the only guy around the kid 3 years of 6 years old and the mom wanted to marry me the last 2 years so i get letting the kid be close to me.

My buddy dated a BPD with 2 kids. He fell in love with them all. The kids started calling him daddy and all that mess all while she is still legally married. Then she dumped him over something silly and started seeing a new guy within a couple weeks. Now she posts pics with the new guy and kids going on vacation like its their father when they still loved and asked about my buddy. Needless to say, the father of the kids has had enough of her toxic behavior she brings onto the kids. He's hired a lawyer and plans to finalize divorce along with trying to take full custody.

I'm no longer surprised by BPDs behavior, but the crap they put their kids thru is beyond disgusting. Hell, I saw a BPD chick on a BPD forum who was posting pics kissing her 7 yo son with open mouth, putting lipstick on him and kissing him like it was a normal thing to do.

Exhausted, I know how much pain you're in over this, but you are doing the right thing by staying NC. Deep down, we want it to work with them more than anything in the world, but after being away from them for weeks, we are able to finally realize just how crazy/toxic they are. Even if you went back, things would feel amazing at first, but that will quickly change in a matter of days or weeks.

Like you, I miss the get together's with her family. She always told me I was the only man her dad her ever liked, her mom adored me, her brothers were like my own. I formed an amazing bond with them, that was something even 10 moths out I still dwell on a lot. Partly due to my family being a bunch of mental hermits who I've never really enjoyed being around nor do they do ANYTHING fun. They basically sit on the couch all day long, haven't taken vacations in over 25 years. They are basically dead inside.

Crazy how deep she got me involved with her family, sleep overs at her parents house, BBQ's, helped them move, golf, traveling to other states to meet her grandparents and other family only to destroy it all. I can only imagine the BS she spread about me and the real reason it ended as some of her family used to call me on the regular, then the calls just stopped shortly after she moved.

 

[exhausted]

My buddy dated a BPD with 2 kids. He fell in love with them all. The kids started calling him daddy and all that mess all while she is still legally married. Then she dumped him over something silly and started seeing a new guy within a couple weeks. Now she posts pics with the new guy and kids going on vacation like its their father when they still loved and asked about my buddy. Needless to say, the father of the kids has had enough of her toxic behavior she brings onto the kids. He's hired a lawyer and plans to finalize divorce along with trying to take full custody.

I'm no longer surprised by BPDs behavior, but the crap they put their kids thru is beyond disgusting. Hell, I saw a BPD chick on a BPD forum who was posting pics kissing her 7 yo son with open mouth, putting lipstick on him and kissing him like it was a normal thing to do.

Exhausted, I know how much pain you're in over this, but you are doing the right thing by staying NC. Deep down, we want it to work with them more than anything in the world, but after being away from them for weeks, we are able to finally realize just how crazy/toxic they are. Even if you went back, things would feel amazing at first, but that will quickly change in a matter of days or weeks.

Like you, I miss the get together's with her family. She always told me I was the only man her dad her ever liked, her mom adored me, her brothers were like my own. I formed an amazing bond with them, that was something even 10 moths out I still dwell on a lot. Partly due to my family being a bunch of mental hermits who I've never really enjoyed being around nor do they do ANYTHING fun. They basically sit on the couch all day long, haven't taken vacations in over 25 years. They are basically dead inside.

Crazy how deep she got me involved with her family, sleep overs at her parents house, BBQ's, helped them move, golf, traveling to other states to meet her grandparents and other family only to destroy it all. I can only imagine the BS she spread about me and the real reason it ended as some of her family used to call me on the regular, then the calls just stopped shortly after she moved.

I'm sorry you had to go through all that as well..
yes I love and miss her kid, over 3 years tog, part of.me.wants to message back and meet up with the kid but I know the girl wont change. And i cant be around her...
It's not just maturity or growing the girl has a legit mood disorder she wont get help for.

She blamed me for making her go see a psychologist and wasting her money when in reality i was watching someone i cared about suffer terribly..and money....wow i paid for everything all the time..

They take no responsiblity or acknowledgement for their cruel behaivior and will never change.

 

[stovepipe]

I'm sorry you had to go through all that as well..
yes I love and miss her kid, over 3 years tog, part of.me.wants to message back and meet up with the kid but I know the girl wont change. And i cant be around her...
It's not just maturity or growing the girl has a legit mood disorder she wont get help for.

She blamed me for making her go see a psychologist and wasting her money when in reality i was watching someone i cared about suffer terribly..and money....wow i paid for everything all the time..

They take no responsiblity or acknowledgement for their cruel behaivior and will never change.

Typical from her to use the child as a pawn to "try" and get what she wants. They blame everyone but themselves. Like I told my ex, "your behavior is like a boomerang, you throw it, it comes right back to smack you across the face, but you blame someone else for throwing it. I can have only wished to be as strong as you are now. You seem to know that staying away is the right thing to do no matter how much it hurts. I, on the other hand kept going back time and time again only to be destroyed while losing almost all respect for myself as man.

Stay strong

 

[exhausted]

Typical from her to use the child as a pawn to "try" and get what she wants. They blame everyone but themselves. Like I told my ex, "your behavior is like a boomerang, you throw it, it comes right back to smack you across the face, but you blame someone else for throwing it. I can have only wished to be as strong as you are now. You seem to know that staying away is the right thing to do no matter how much it hurts. I, on the other hand kept going back time and time again only to be destroyed while losing almost all respect for myself as man.

Stay strong

Do NOT lose respect for yourself, this has nothing to do with respect, you are being duped by a mentally ill person..
i told my ex i dont deserve to be yelled at like this, it's a terrible way to treat me and she replied i was worried about my ego.. haha..
i said no my ego has nothing to do with someone trampling on my soul...

The only way i would consider talking to her is if we sat down and talked and she agreed to go to counseling...
I dont know if it would work, she is terrible at aknowledging responsibility.

I went back off and on for years i told her this is dysfunctional breaking things off and coming back and she said, thats just how we are we are always together anyways... crazy
I said no, that's treating something special like chit...
keep things special or they won't be...


Why do you keep going back?.

What is it in her you think you can change?

 

[exhausted]

I always miss that the most really.

It's rough as chit..
she reached out to me yest after 32 days and I know I could be at her house with the family for a cookout enjoying everyone but instead i walked my dog, cleaned the house, lifted for an hour and will sit around doing nothing..
it sucks..
i truly wish i had a wife and 3 kids to enjoy..
I know i could be there but the consequences are frightening..

I mean how does one not know they have something wrong within them?

 

[exhausted]

I feel bad, I know she is trying to lore ke in with the kid, but maybe not..
my son was attached to the woman i married for 3 years and she bailed and it hurt him severly.

Now I'm in the same position to hurt a child..

When i came to my ex about the situation we had that lead to a fight i told her i was suffering and she responded "that's not my problem" like a mangy cvnt..jesus Lord thanks for the loyalty.

well first yes your problem because it was YOU that caused the situation and second , part of the responsibility of being in a ltr is to take care of one another not leave each other to suffer like a fukibg cvnt.. i swear to God if a dude treated me like that I'd knock his fuchin head off his shoulders but these bitches talk terribly to guys..

Anyway because of HER behavior now her kid is sufffering. And its put on me..

I partook in the ltr of 3 years so i took responsibility of.being around the child.

This sucks now I'm in a worse spot than b4..

Do i respond and say the child can see me?.

Or should i think "that's not my problem"

And be a pos like her

 

[Billtx49]

Her kid possibly hurting because of a problem she created between you and her.… And this hurt kid idea is coming from her words to you?
Cluster B's are known to use children for their own benefit. Mine did.

It's Not your problem.

It is your problem concerning how long you want to tolerate her emotional abuse.

 

[exhausted]

Her kid possibly hurting because of a problem she created between you and her.… And this hurt kid idea is coming from her words to you?
Cluster B's are known to use children for their own benefit. Mine did.

It's Not your problem.

It is your problem about how long you want to tolerate her emotional abuse.

Yes. I have not seen the kid in probably 6 weeks.. between the kids dad and my ex i was the father figure and security for the kid, not those 2 idiots.
Her kid is hurting because she is an emotional chaotic bipolar mess and ran me off with bs drama, discards and coming back to get tog all the time... i tried telling her stop breaking things off with me and coming back days later because u love me and want me forever...
a man can't propose to a woman who broke up with him a month or 2 ago. . We don't work that way..

She blamed me for being a troublemaker (terrifying ), ignored me for 4 days , i said it is the opposite and now i am done. .

She F'd it up for her and her kid...
i truly hope she doesn't start seeing anyone for at least a year for the poor kids sake, not my own.

 

[stovepipe]

This sucks now I'm in a worse spot than b4..

Do i respond and say the child can see me?.

Or should i think "that's not my problem"

And be a pos like her

You were dating her so the child comes along with it. Would make no sense to see the kid as they are a package deal. You seeing the kid would show her she was able to break you. Sad that she has to use the child as a pawn to get what she wants. Don't think staying NC is a POS move, it's having respect for yourself.

You are not the kids father even tho you feel like you were. Fuk her and her bs behavior, you're better than that. It will be some of the worst pain you ever felt, you feel like painful moments of loneliness, regret and guilt, but going back or seeing the kid will only bring more pain. You need to make a final decision and stick to it. Either try again which you know wont change her or the situation, or stay NC forever.

Reading your posts reminds me of where I used to be, a brutally painful time, but also reminds me how fair I've come. But, I will not sit here and deny that even at almost 10 months out I'm still in a great deal of pain.

 

[exhausted]

You were dating her so the child comes along with it. Would make no sense to see the kid as they are a package deal. You seeing the kid would show her she was able to break you. Sad that she has to use the child as a pawn to get what she wants. Don't think staying NC is a POS move, it's having respect for yourself.

You are not the kids father even tho you feel like you were. Fuk her and her bs behavior, you're better than that. It will be some of the worst pain you ever felt, you feel like painful moments of loneliness, regret and guilt, but going back or seeing the kid will only bring more pain. You need to make a final decision and stick to it. Either try again which you know wont change her or the situation, or stay NC forever.

Reading your posts reminds me of where I used to be, a brutally painful time, but also reminds me how fair I've come. But, I will not sit here and deny that even at almost 10 months out I'm still in a great deal of pain.

Man 10 months out is a long time to remain in such pain. Have you thought about going to talk to someone?

Her message yesterday just fueled me more, i went back over old messages of my state of mine when she punished me to suffer and it infuriated me into madness once again and not sadness.. it helped to read those messages from over a month ago to feel the disgust i was in and made my decision not to respond..

This fuchn cvnt ignored me for 4 days when something happened and i thought she may be talking to another guy.. instead of clarifying and giving me peace she ignored me and left me to suffer like some.pos thinking the worst.. no one who LOVES another person does that to them..

I am honestly a good and nice composed man.. i received an award at work a few years back for being nice to patients i chit u not.. next month im being honored by the hospital at a banquet for going above and beyond... our hospital is connected to 3 others and all our clinics, thats 1700 employees and im being awarded...
This is not to tute my own horn but to show im a good guy,i try to treat everyone well, and this cvnt flipped my switch to where 5 weeks later reading that state of mind i was in infuriates me, i treated her daughter like my own and was great to her and to be left to suffer and ignored and blocked thinking there was something going on behind my back is heartless beyond belief.. .

I am disgusted and disappointed with life and the chit awful people in it...

I really want to say "that's not my problem" like she did to me when i asked her for peace, but im not a souless demon like her..

Fuchj this cvnt...

 

[stovepipe]

Man 10 months out is a long time to remain in such pain. Have you thought about going to talk to someone?

Her message yesterday just fueled me more, i went back over old messages of my state of mine when she punished me to suffer and it infuriated me into madness once again and not sadness.. it helped to read those messages from over a month ago to feel the disgust i was in and made my decision not to respond..

This fuchn cvnt ignored me for 4 days when something happened and i thought she may be talking to another guy.. instead of clarifying and giving me peace she ignored me and left me to suffer like some.pos thinking the worst.. no one who LOVES another person does that to them..

I am honestly a good and nice composed man.. i received an award at work a few years back for being nice to patients i chit u not.. next month im being honored by the hospital at a banquet for going above and beyond... our hospital is connected to 3 others and all our clinics, thats 1700 employees and im being awarded...
This is not to tute my own horn but to show im a good guy,i try to treat everyone well, and this cvnt flipped my switch to where 5 weeks later reading that state of mind i was in infuriates me, i treated her daughter like my own and was great to her and to be left to suffer and ignored and blocked thinking there was something going on behind my back is heartless beyond belief.. .

I am disgusted and disappointed with life and the chit awful people in it...

I really want to say "that's not my problem" like she did to me when i asked her for peace, but im not a souless demon like her..

Fuchj this cvnt...

I've talked to just about anyone and everyone I can. A lot has to do being she was the first person to make me feel alive, my first love, first girl to sign a lease with and a bunch of first things were all with her. Prego twice, aborted both, that created a deep bond that I cant explain. Anyways, Ive been over for a while, now its the anger of the STD she so knowingly gave me. Its makes it almost impossible to move on. I dont want to get deep in my situation.

You are at the point where you're so angery at her behavior, you want to do all the things shes done to you back at her, to make her feel whats its like to be at the other end of her bs behavior. These types of women are good at turning a man crazy like them. I was there many times. Wanting to do what she was going to me, so can she feel the pain. But if I did, I knew she would leave, so I didn't. Thats how brainwashed I was, so much so its embarrassing looking back. Her going NC on me when she fked me over. Days went by and I was wtf, she don't call to apologize, nothing! When I went back she would just give me an amazing blow job and I'd forget all about it. When I did ask the one time why she goes silent, her response was "I figured if you wanted me back you'd call". I was a moron for going back the many times I did. It only showed her she can abuse me any way she wants and I'd stay. Cause I can tell you the things she did to me each time I went back almost anyone would have told her to go fuk herself and leave for good.

Im right there with you on how disgusted I am with life, people
and all the BS in the world today. But,