Julian. I am her boss at a picture framing and art gallery place. Real artsy crap type ****. I have stayed cool. It's difficult for me to detach emotionally but I'm getting there. She has no idea that this is how I am feeling. That's why I posted here. I would kill myself rather than say ANYTHING that indicates this bothers me.
The above advice about my addiction is right but... I am not connecting the two. True, I was a raging alcoholic and I know that. Julian, your advice is what I'm doing and I thank you for adding the third wheel ****. She really want's us to all HANG OUT ALL THE TIME. **** that. May I say this? I failed her and she waited seven years for me. I think the reason I'm so ****ed up is because of my ego. You all talk about Alpha Men and what not and tell me to man up. Not you personally but this board in general.
I WAS/AM getting better. I think the advice of telling me to man up means to set boundaries. I agree. I don't know how this happened. Well, I mainly let it because all of my problems with woman were I couldn't stand how INTO me they got. IN other words, I was NEVER like this and no one I know cares about this because I don't tell them.
I don't bother with labels like "Alpha", etc. but they have their use. To be honest, I don't know many people more Alpha then I am. I told you I own an artsy fag business. I have also been in two branches of the Military, been a Boxer, a Black Belt, Advanced Deep Sea Diver, Investor in various businesses. I know it's the internet and all that ****. I own an amazing house, drive the fastest ****ing car... I have dumped 20 plus chicks over my life. Hmmm, perhaps it's a personal problem. YES, I showed her weakness, I showed her... ****.
You know what kills me, all of these things are good but... being an ******* is what made her leave me. SO So Suave, be my Therapist because the last one just she loved me. Well, SHE MOVED THE **** OUT!!!