Advice for dating models/ex models?

dk1990S111

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Girl Im talking to used to do modeling a few years ago. Actual runway and fashion shoots not just an instamodel. Any tips for things to do differently than dealing with other girls? I'm sure bringing up looks should mostly be avoided. Not too worried about that since I actually do find her personality to be her best attribute.

Any good negs you guys can think of to mess with her about not modeling anymore? Something about her getting too old for it? Seems hard to neg on that without possibly being taken as offensive.

@bigneil I forget, you said before you've dated models right?
 

bigneil

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Girl Im talking to used to do modeling a few years ago. Actual runway and fashion shoots not just an instamodel. Any tips for things to do differently than dealing with other girls? I'm sure bringing up looks should mostly be avoided. Not too worried about that since I actually do find her personality to be her best attribute.

Any good negs you guys can think of to mess with her about not modeling anymore? Something about her getting too old for it? Seems hard to neg on that without possibly being taken as offensive.

@bigneil I forget, you said before you've dated models right?
If she is a model, take photos of her and have them rated on Photofeeler to put her in her place. But don't make her feel old.
 
A

AJ84

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Girl Im talking to used to do modeling a few years ago. Actual runway and fashion shoots not just an instamodel. Any tips for things to do differently than dealing with other girls? I'm sure bringing up looks should mostly be avoided. Not too worried about that since I actually do find her personality to be her best attribute.

Any good negs you guys can think of to mess with her about not modeling anymore? Something about her getting too old for it? Seems hard to neg on that without possibly being taken as offensive.

@bigneil I forget, you said before you've dated models right?
Instead of finding something to say that will offend/hurt/insult her, which is how not to make a good impression on someone you just began dating, why not just enjoy dating an ex model? I don't understand why you need to find a way to be an ahole right out of the gate unless she is an ahole herself. Just chill and don't overthink stuff at risk of sabotaging what could potentially be a good thing. Remind yourself that she's just another woman, not the only woman on the face of the planet and there is always potential to meet other girls. Negging is not neccessary, unless you actually feel like you don't have other options and need to neg someone down a notch to make them feel that they need you, when really it's you needing them. Because let's face it, that's what negging actually is.
 

DreamAgain

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I would bring it up very rarely, only if I felt the moment was really good to do it.

You're in LA from your bio, so say you're walking down the santa monica pier with her...I would throw out a comment like:

"Hey HB, bet my runway walk is better than yours..." and like playfully hit her arm or something as you proceed to do a exaggeration of what a model would do on the runway :D. Since you're already on a walk with her this idea may make contextual sense.

However, I would do this after she already has an indication that I respect her work as a model, because she may take it the wrong way. So some positive comments about it, like maybe mentioning the strains of shooting for long periods of time over many days, or things like that, could be useful first.
 

BeExcellent

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I would bring it up very rarely, only if I felt the moment was really good to do it.

You're in LA from your bio, so say you're walking down the santa monica pier with her...I would throw out a comment like:

"Hey HB, bet my runway walk is better than yours..." and like playfully hit her arm or something as you proceed to do a exaggeration of what a model would do on the runway :D. Since you're already on a walk with her this idea may make contextual sense.

However, I would do this after she already has an indication that I respect her work as a model, because she may take it the wrong way. So some positive comments about it, like maybe mentioning the strains of shooting for long periods of time over many days, or things like that, could be useful first.
For Pete's sake don't neg her like in the example above. You'll come across sophomoric and drooling at best. The best approach is to not mention it at all. In this way you treat her like a normal human being (and also at the same time set yourself up as though dating a model is NO BIG DEAL.).

Men such as doctors for example RUN the other way if a woman starts to fixate on him being "A DOCTOR!!!!" in any way shape or form. It is an objectification, it's what he does rather than who he is.

Modeling is the same. That industry is extremely image based (obviously) to the point of total objectification and to the exclusion of who a person actually is beyond their outward appearance. If you start negging her for modeling or being over the hill or really anything appearance based you'll simply lump yourself in with all the shallow creative directors, creeps, dweebs and so forth that she had to deal with in the industry. This will knock YOUR value down substantially in her eyes so don't do it.

You are standing out precisely because you like her for something other than/in addition to her looks. She already knows she is pretty.

She will most appreciate the man who sees the person inside the pretty package.
 

Von

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Just listen to what she has to say, challenge her à bit playfully, keep à strong frame, lead

She is just à girl, beside, most models who do runway are not even recognizable in the stress

Have fun,
 

DreamAgain

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For Pete's sake don't neg her like in the example above. You'll come across sophomoric and drooling at best. The best approach is to not mention it at all. In this way you treat her like a normal human being (and also at the same time set yourself up as though dating a model is NO BIG DEAL.).

Men such as doctors for example RUN the other way if a woman starts to fixate on him being "A DOCTOR!!!!" in any way shape or form. It is an objectification, it's what he does rather than who he is.

Modeling is the same. That industry is extremely image based (obviously) to the point of total objectification and to the exclusion of who a person actually is beyond their outward appearance. If you start negging her for modeling or being over the hill or really anything appearance based you'll simply lump yourself in with all the shallow creative directors, creeps, dweebs and so forth that she had to deal with in the industry. This will knock YOUR value down substantially in her eyes so don't do it.

You are standing out precisely because you like her for something other than/in addition to her looks. She already knows she is pretty.

She will most appreciate the man who sees the person inside the pretty package.
I've had girls jest at my expense and vice versa, there's no harm in this. It isn't even a neg, it is an exaggeration of stereotypes in the industry that she herself might find humorous as well.

This isn't doctoral research she's doing, it's walking literally walking forward and backwards. No need to take it so seriously.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Just listen to what she has to say, challenge her à bit playfully, keep à strong frame, lead

She is just à girl, beside, most models who do runway are not even recognizable in the stress

Have fun,
Most of em are BROKE. And gold digger.
 

BeExcellent

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You missed my point entirely @DreamAgain or you would understand my response better.

She wants someone who sees her as more than the pretty face. More than the "model".

I dated a professional male model before I married. Ridiculously good looking photogenic man. Did national print, runway, fragrance, Milan fashion week, the whole nine yards. He hated how shallow & vain & fickle the industry is. My sister in law also did runway and print in Paris as a teen. Also came to dislike the complete objectification in that industry.

The fact that you think it's just walking back & forth tells me how clueless you are. While it IS that on one level it's also the complete objectification of people based strictly on appearance. They get rejected because they have too many freckles, too few freckles, they have a gap between their teeth, they don't have a gap between their teeth, on a first sight "yes/no" basis all the time.

For all the runways you walk there are many more that reject you. Fashion is fickle and idiosyncratic. It's an industry that can be brutal on the human mannequins, the models, precisely because they aren't mannequins at all...they are people. Very few people survive that industry with their psyche and their sanity fully intact.

Yet a model is considered a trophy to most men just the way a doctor (for example) is considered a trophy by most women.

Whenever a person is viewed as a trophy they become an object, and therefore less human. You are objectifying this woman (look at me I'm dating a model) and asking for ways to objectify her MORE by negging her on her looks.

The male model and my sister in law both sought people who could simply relate to them as people. They both wanted people who could overlook their appearance and see the real person inside.

The male model was the most neurotic man I ever met & was actually insecure about his looks, in part I always thought, due to being seen as a face/piece of meat for years in the industry. Being objectified in that way often takes a toll on people.

I really liked the male model because he was a cool person, ambitious, intelligent, great personality, funny. Obviously he was handsome, stylish & sought after by women. But his deep insecurities kept him from revealing himself in a deep way so I ended up dropping him for the man who became my husband.

He couldn't handle negs about his appearance, I realized that quickly so I never did anything that risked insulting his vanity. Many models are the same way. If you insult someone's vanity you'll soon fall out of favor.

If you decide to do it let the board know how it goes. That could be instructive.

At any rate that's the advice from the old lady :rolleyes:
 

BeExcellent

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I would avoid it for now. It will come up conversationally if y'all chat about travel or city life or other contextual stuff. She will relate stuff along the lines of "when I was XYZ doing (insert show or shoot here)" you'll learn more in an indirect way as she shares about her life.

While I understand completely what @LJC is saying and agree, you have no way of knowing if this girl was ever rejected from a project she really wanted because a pimple cropped up one day. That is entirely possible, even likely.

So while I understand what a neg hit is, realize that a man does not know where a woman's vanity lies, especially if he just met her. I for example would never neg hit a guy with a gut on his belly or a balding guy on his hair. There is no way that comes off cute, ever. It's just an ugly insult. I'd say the same about negging on a zit or something on a woman. Such a comment would tell me 2 things:

1. Here is a man who has focused exclusively on a flaw that is embarrassing or may indicate some medical condition someone suffers with

1a. Here is a man with no class or decorum.

2. Here is an insult. Pure & simple. Instant jerk status.

You see one can never assume the boundaries of someone else's vanity. Discretion is always best until you have an idea unless you REALLY are nuanced in reading people. Men are super sensitive about their stature & their hair (or loss thereof), women are super sensitive about their weight or their looks. Neg these areas at your own risk.

Neg on wardrobe, drink choice, jewelry or hairstyle before you pick on something the person can't control, like balding or a zit. What you choose to neg is often the difference between c & f and outright jack ass.

I'd avoid negging a skinny model about her weight, for example, because you have no way of knowing how she fasts, starves, skips meals or does drugs to keep at her runway weight.

An athlete who is a size zero or 2 with a healthy appetite would probably react well to a gee your fat sort of neg...a model who may really struggle with her weight...that's a bigger risk.

So discretion is always wise. I'd avoid asking about or negging on the modeling or appearance with this kind of girl. Too much risk there to look like a horse's ass or a leg hump-er & not much bandwidth in between.
 

dude99

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Girl Im talking to used to do modeling a few years ago. Actual runway and fashion shoots not just an instamodel. Any tips for things to do differently than dealing with other girls? I'm sure bringing up looks should mostly be avoided. Not too worried about that since I actually do find her personality to be her best attribute.

Any good negs you guys can think of to mess with her about not modeling anymore? Something about her getting too old for it? Seems hard to neg on that without possibly being taken as offensive.

@bigneil I forget, you said before you've dated models right?
Treat them as you would any other girl.

Do not put them on a pedestal just because she modeled.
 

SmooveMooves

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Neg? What do you think this is 2006? Listen, throw all that pua lingo out the window. Negging, peacocking etc. the **** is dated. You start acting like a PUA clown around that model you will lose her as fast as you got her.

You want a neg? Never bring up her appearance and treat her like any other woman. When she fishes for compliments, deflect. Any comment toward her appearance should be warranted. (She looks nice in a dress shes wearing for dinner)


Following dated PUA tactics takes will result in a swift death of your love life.
 

devilkingx2

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the trick with all women is to just pretend you don't care at all, you don't notice that she's attractive, you don't see anything special about being a model, you're just completely apathetic and only half interested unless she has her top off. that's what you're going for

play it cool fam, you got this.
 

Dash Riprock

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It sounds like you lack confidence if you have to pull out tricks and ploys to get her to "like" you. Here's a novel thought: why don't you act like a confident man and don't give a s*it about what she did/does. She could be a garbage collector for all you care. Ask her interesting questions, test her knowledge a bit, ask her opinion on things, be charming and make jokes about recent news or things around you. If you're any good at all, you can delicately tease her on an opinion of hers or something else. For example, I was on a first date a few weeks back and the girl pulls out her phone. It was some off-brand maybe even a Blackberry so I asked her if it was a burner phone because she runs drugs or takes illegal bets. Then I asked her if I could put some $$ on the Brewers to beat the Cubs and got out my wallet. She initially looked shocked, then called me sarcastic then laughed. At the end of the night she was grabbing my hand and arm while walking down the street. Be cool, calm, and confident. Does James Bond have to pull out all sorts of BS PUA tactics? No. Neither should you.
 
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