Did I overreact?

[captain55]

i was at my chicks apartment after a small fight. Had to go to work and I ended up coming back an hour later because I forgot something. When I get there the neighbor is over having a shot.

Apparently she said she was trying to hook the kid up with a friend of hers who had a weed card. The kid texted her a few minutes after I left saying she couldn't get him any. She then texted him back saying she had some alchohol if he wants to come over for a quick shot because I guess she felt bad she couldn't hook him up. she showed me the texts and it turns out she was telling the truth. If she would of randomly texted the guy asking him to come over I would of been done!

My gut says she wasn't trying to cheat on me. The problem is being with a girl not smart enough to tell me "hey the neighbor you never met is coming over for a shot" in case I might have walked in.

What do you do with a woman that doesn't necessarily do anything to intentionally disrespect you, but doesn't have any common sense when it comes to relationships?

Another example is me taking her out for a $500 dinner on Valentine's Day and her having the nerve to ask me if we can meet up with her friends from work. ***** I just bought you a $500 dinner and it's Valentine's Day are you kidding me?This is just one of hundreds of examples...

She's not a bad girl...I've met intelligent women who knew exactly what they were doing.....this one just has no common sense and her lack of awareness comes across as selfishness.

It's eating me alive because she sees where she is wrong and is truly trying, but im getting fed up
With teaching a 25 year old woman how to not be selfish in a relationship.

 

[Billtx49]

She's selfish and self centered for her own amusement only. Any more questions ? You may not exist in her universe…
After a $500 dinner I would suggest you have your head professionally examined…
Doesn't really matter what you can afford, it's still an obscene amount for a dinner.
Don't try to buy poon.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

If I made $720,000/year, I would not spend $500 on a dinner.

In fact, I would die inside if I spent anything on dinner.

 

[logicallefty]

In my AFC days I would have tolerated this, but not anymore. I would tell her "You have behaved in a manor of which I do not approve. I need to take a break from our relationship and figure a few things out". Then think it over hard for a couple weeks. You will learn a lot by how she reacts to this. Does she beg you not to take the break? How often does she contact you? Etc.

 

[captain55]

In my AFC days I would have tolerated this, but not anymore. I would tell her "You have behaved in a manor of which I do not approve. I need to take a break from our relationship and figure a few things out". Then think it over hard for a couple weeks. You will learn a lot by how she reacts to this. Does she beg you not to take the break? How often does she contact you? Etc.

I already did break up with her. i end up missing the easy sex and her bomb cooking so I come back. Things are good for a while and then she does something stupid to **** it up again. Want a perfect example? Tells me to meet her at a bar wirh her friend I get there an hour later and she isn't there. She got ****faced and spent the night at a girls house a mutual friend of ours that I know, I call her friend and have to pick her up at 5am. She didn't even have the decency to text me and tell
Me where she was I almost had a heart attack worried something happened to her.

The problem is she hasn't done anything completely unforgivable and I see her putting the effort in....so it's hard for me to block her out and move on with my life....she will go completely out of her way to help me out if I ever need a favor. she's just ****ing stupid when it comes to other ****

 

[sazc]

If you are looking for "the one" you are waisting your time with this chick. She is immature. You are constantly frustrated. You two are not compatible. Don't settle. Be brave and find someone who is at your level.

 

[captain55]

She's selfish and self centered for her own amusement only. Any more questions ? You may not exist in her universe…
After a $500 dinner I would suggest you have your head professionally examined…
Doesn't really matter what you can afford, it's still an obscene amount.

The bill was mostly my ****. Don't see how this matters though. I would never ask a chick if we could meet up with my boys at the bar after a romantic dinner on Valentine's Day. Especially if she paid for it

 

[captain55]

If you are looking for "the one" you are waisting your time with this chick. She is immature. You are constantly frustrated. You two are not compatible. Don't settle. Be brave and find someone who is at your level.

Who would be compatible with a chick like this though? A sociopath I'm guessing? To be fair I've already checked out emotionally, I would love to believe she's the one but She makes me so angry

 

[Billtx49]

I already did break up with her. i end up missing the easy sex and her bomb cooking so I come back. Things are good for a while and then she does something stupid to **** it up again
. She didn't even have the decency to text me and tell
Me where she was I almost had a heart attack worried something happened to her.*

And you think she has a positive impact on your life ?

 

[sazc]

Who would be compatible with a chick like this though? A sociopath I'm guessing? To be fair I've already checked out emotionally, I would love to believe she's the one but She makes me so angry

Who cares about HER and who she is compatible with?!

Take a look at the really frustrated and annoyed guy in the mirror. Was this ever his idea of a good relationship?

The one thing you haven't realized yet is that people DON'T change. She is who she is and no amount of aggravation from you is going to make a difference.

Do what you need to do to be happy

 

[SmooveMooves]

She got ****faced and spent the night at a girls house a mutual friend of ours that I know, I call her friend and have to pick her up at 5am. She didn't even have the decency to text me and tell
Me where she was I almost had a heart attack worried something happened to her.

Get a grip. You do not award bad behavior, you punish it. You shouldn't have picked her up. You should have left her ass there and let her figure out why you didn't come to get her. You are too nice, you have no backbone. She's not unaware, you are. When disrespected you withdraw attention. She will begin to associate the dumb shít she does with the coldness she receives from you. From there she either stops the behavior or forces you to dump.

 

[captain55]

Get a grip. You do not award bad behavior, you punish it. You shouldn't have picked her up. You should have left her ass there and let her figure out why you didn't come to get her. You are too nice, you have no backbone. She's not unaware, you are. When disrespected you withdraw attention. She will begin to associate the dumb shít she does with the coldness she receives from you. From there she either stops the behavior or forces you to dump.

I called her a selfish ***** and we got into a huge fight. I went three months without paying for a single thing for her after that. Not even one date. Not sure where you assumed I have no backbone, I would never reward bad behavior.

Im not a good boyfriend to this chick anymore but she still sticks around. I make her buy her own drinks and split the bill with me just to prove a point that I don't approve of her behavior. I'm selfish in bed. I got her flowers one time this whole year. I mentally checked out and stopped giving a ****.

If she could go a month without doing something stupid I would be the happiest guy alive and do what I used to do for her

 

[mrgoodstuff]

We already know she is a narcissist, no point hiding that in your posts and trying to pretend she is a functional human worthy of analysis.

Someone's who can be popped. It takes an effort.

 

[BeExcellent]

I don't understand why you tolerate the drunkenness.

Social ineptitude you can resolve as someone matures. Excessive destructive habits like over indulgence in alcohol? Much less likely.

Combine heavy drinking & social ineptitude? Not a winner.

I've just dropped someone I otherwise really liked for that combination of traits. I don't want to put up with that sort of behavior & neither should you.

 

[marmel75]

She made you take her out for a $500 dinner. She didn't make you do anything, you simply didn't say no.

Lol at how everything a woman does is apparently some type of disrespect to a man.