31 an still living with my mother

[pyros]

Because of huge unemployent rate and bad luck among other things, I am 31, I still live with my mother, and I just have a little bit of money saved. In the last year I've landed an ok job which pays ok but it is been very difficult to progress in my career.

The majority of my friends earn more because they are professionals with 5+ years of experience but I have just 1 year of useful experience.

Anyway, the thing is that because I live with my mother I dont have to pay rent or food, I just pay for my own stuff so I can save half my salary or less.

I wanted to do a masters degree to improve my career options but...it is 5000 € and my mother doesnt want to help. I told her that she could maybe pay for half of it but she says that she's 73 and that she needs to save more money just in case she gets sick and needs to pay for a nurse or something. Ok I understand but... I have a sister that is kind of wealthy so...

At the moment, my mom has 3 times the amount of mony I have saved.

I tell her she has had a fullfilling life, she has bought four cars, two houses, has travelled the world quite a lot etc, and that I have nothing: no car, no house. But it seems she thinks she has too many expenses/taxes...which is kind of true...but...

Do you think she should help me more contributing to my masters? or that she does enough already providing me shelter and food?

I have to insist that in the last 7 years there's been a huge finalcial crisis and unemployment skyrocketed and eventhough I tried to survive...the balance is pretty negative anyway. Some of my friends had better luck but not my case.

From my point of view she should be willing to help me improve my life a little bit more, but from her perspective she needs to save more money in case she gets sick or something.

I have to say that neither of us wastes money on silly stuff, we focus on the basics. In the last years we're living a frugal life because everything is too expensive and taxes are high.

Thoughts?

 

[exhausted]

Take out student loans to pay for your tuition and be appreciative you have a place to stay for free.

 

[Alvafe]

you can also try to open a bussiness? what you work on? experience can work well, but its more important on how well you sell you, trying to make you mom pay for a master is kinda low, you should be doing things without a back up, you could also go for other line of work, don't just keep dong only one thing, learn things who could complement, or give you more general knowledge

 

[resilient]

Hey man, I'm a little older and in a similar situation. I'm working full-time while living with my parents while putting away money for next year. Right now, I'm in between my undergrad and masters. I have to knock out a prereq or two before applying to grad school.

Although my parents could afford to pay for my master's degree, I don't expect them to. It's great that your mom has taken you in rent free and provides food for you.

Personally, I don't think you should be entitled to her to pay for your master's degree even though she can afford it a few times over.

At 73, she's getting to the age where medical expenses could start flooding in depending on how well she's taken care of her health. Think unexpected illness, cancer, surgeries, medication or other expensive as hell medical issues.

 

[Billtx49]

No rent or food expenses? Be happy for what you have and save your own money. It isn't like she's going to kick you out on the street tomorrow is it ? You have living and food security without expenses, a job, and motivation to save. Up to you man. Own your life.

 

[CMNILS87]

With no rent and food cost, that like what 350 euros a month that you should be putting away for school.

 

[PeasantPlayer]

Who cares if you live with your mother? In Europe its quite common to live with your mother till that age or longer and is generally not frowned upon like in America. Most people who move out too young are broke, paycheck to paycheck, in debt or on craigslist looking for roommates to help foot the rent. Don't worry just save money till you get situated

 

[Desdinova]

From my point of view she should be willing to help me improve my life a little bit more, but from her perspective she needs to save more money in case she gets sick or something.

No offense, but you're 31 years old. It's not your mom's responsibility to get you on your feet. It's YOUR responsibility.

I have to insist that in the last 7 years there's been a huge finalcial crisis and unemployment skyrocketed and eventhough I tried to survive...the balance is pretty negative anyway. Some of my friends had better luck but not my case.

There was a point in my life where I wanted to get the hell out of my job as a minimum wage worker for a temp agency. I had tried applying for some other jobs, namely fast food jobs, but wasn't able to get anything. I ended up taking a free course on how to look for a job. One of the things I learned is that when you're unemployed, job hunting should be your full time job. You get up every morning, make copies of your resume, plan your route, get out in the streets, and start handing out resumes.

Have you been doing that? You're only going to beat the odds if you work at it. When you're starting at the bottom, you need to be taking anything that comes your way and work your way up. You can't look at a ladder and say "I want to be on top" and expect to jump and land on the top rung. You gotta work to climb it.

Your mom is 73. She could die tomorrow of a heart attack. Then what would you do? You'd be fvcked. You have to learn how to survive regardless of what the employment situation is. The best get hired, even when it comes to 5hitty jobs like gas jockeys. Make yourself look the best for a 5hitty job, and you'll get it. Use the opportunity of living at your mother's place to stuff away the money you make from your 5hit job that you worked hard for. THEN go after your degree.

Your mom's giving you a kick in the ass, and I can't say I blame her. In fact, I'd like to shake that woman's hand. Too many parents support their kids for too long.

 

[jaygreenb]

Your mom has done more than enough for you. In fact, she would be doing you a disservice in the long run if she continued to help you. You need to figure out life's problems and solve them on your own. You're 31 and well into adulthood, time to step up your game.

 

[Alvafe]

Who cares if you live with your mother? In Europe its quite common to live with your mother till that age or longer and is generally not frowned upon like in America. Most people who move out too young are broke, paycheck to paycheck, in debt or on craigslist looking for roommates to help foot the rent. Don't worry just save money till you get situated

its a cultural thing really some will frown other you are stuck with then your whole life, I myself live with then its easier plus I can keep a eye on then, not really a good thing to be alone, too dangerous, with me there at least its one more person to look over things. the OP should have saving a lot more money, I normally can save more then half of my money if is a month I don't care about going out and jsut keep things to a minimum I just spend the gas from my car and extra 50-100 on others things.

and that is kinda one thing I never figure out on most young people (feh some old too) normally if I need money for something out of normal I can get it without a problem, i'm alwyas with some reserves, but I know people who get paid more then meh and there is no money ever, funny is I have a car and most of then don't, so figures.

getting down on your costs and starting to cut useless things can help too

 

[Billtx49]

but I know people who get paid more then meh and there is no money ever

Yes, expenses tend to rise to income, and exceed it in some cases without adequate financial control, savings goals, and motivation…

 

[Julian]

Bro you are pathetic trying to milk your mother. I live at home currently too because I just paid off all of my debt, so now I own my own luxury vehicle outright, credit all paid off etc and im steady saving cash in order to purchase my land i plan on buying, but guess what I dont ask my parents for a dime. thats puzzy ****. nothing wrong with using your parents place as a home base in order to get all your sh1t in order, I mean they are parents thats why they are there but dude you sound weak as fuk right now.

 

[Dingo]

No rent or food expenses? Be happy for what you have and save your own money. It isn't like she's going to kick you out on the street tomorrow is it ? You have living and food security without expenses, a job, and motivation to save. Up to you man. Own your life.

This... You are lucky that she doesn't kick you whiny azz out on the street...

 

[imarockstar]

Bro you are pathetic trying to milk your mother. I live at home currently too because I just paid off all of my debt, so now I own my own luxury vehicle outright, credit all paid off etc and im steady saving cash in order to purchase my land i plan on buying, but guess what I dont ask my parents for a dime. thats puzzy ****. nothing wrong with using your parents place as a home base in order to get all your sh1t in order, I mean they are parents thats why they are there but dude you sound weak as fuk right now.

idk some might consider someone living with their parents so they can pay off their luxury vehicle as "milking it." ill never understand why some people will buy a nice ass car before focusing on obtaining their own place.

i agree that op shouldnt ask his mom for help with school when he lives with her rent free, but i just found your post a little ironic at the mention of the luxury vehicle.

 

[marmel75]

idk some might consider someone living with their parents so they can pay off their luxury vehicle as "milking it." ill never understand why some people will buy a nice ass car before focusing on obtaining their own place.

i agree that op shouldnt ask his mom for help with school when he lives with her rent free, but i just found your post a little ironic at the mention of the luxury vehicle.

I buy a quality used vehicle and drive it until it falls apart. I'd much rather put that $300 a month into an IRA/401K that will appreciate over time than a car which depreciates the minute its driven off the lot. No CC debt...only thing I have is a mortgage...nice cars hold little value to me.

 

[Julian]

idk some might consider someone living with their parents so they can pay off their luxury vehicle as "milking it." ill never understand why some people will buy a nice ass car before focusing on obtaining their own place.

i agree that op shouldnt ask his mom for help with school when he lives with her rent free, but i just found your post a little ironic at the mention of the luxury vehicle.

You're one of them lil wierd dudes arent you

 

[Bokanovsky]

Do you think she should help me more contributing to my masters? or that she does enough already providing me shelter and food?

I think that you are pathetic. And I don't even mean that as an insult; just stating the fact. You are 31 yeas old, you live with your mother, who provides you with free food and shelter, and you are complaining that she wouldn't shell out for your masters degree (which I'm willing to bet is going to be a complete waste of money) because she needs money for retirement? WTF is wrong with you?

I don't know where you live, but 5,000 euro for a masters degree is fvcking cheap. In North America, you could easily pay $100K or more. If you really need five grand, you can find a way to get it without mooching off your elderly mother. Save more, get a part-time weekend job, get a student loan...there are many options.

 

[breadd80]

No, fwck off and fwck yourself. It's because of unproductive entitled @sshats like you who think the world owes them that guys like me have to deal with stereotypes about millennials.

I moved out at 18 and haven't taken a fwcking penny from my parents since, despite their income being so high I couldn't qualify for financial aid in college. I'll be disappointed in myself if I'm not supporting my old, feeble parents so they can retire by the time I'm your age.

This is a forum for men, self-responsible men who don't bow down to or take sh1t from anyone, and here you are with open hands stretched out to your mom and sister like a bloody liberal

 

[playa99]

Only you are in control of your life.

Your Mom owes you nothing, no-one does.

Take ownership of where you are and improve your situation. If there are no jobs in your country & you have a degree (Which I'm assuming you do because you want to do a masters.) then emigrate to somewhere that requires your skill set.

 

[exhausted]

You recieve free food and shelter, take out a school loan for God's sake, like I mentioned weeks ago..
Btw you better be taking out the garbage and doing man **** around the house without having to be told.
Real men take initiative, stop complaining and be appreciative she is already helping you. you are 31 already..
i raised a kid at 20 and went to school and worked and no one gave me free shelter and food...

Be a man.