The other side of BPD
- Thread starter El Payaso
- Start date
This is a great point. The last girl I was with many on this forum have deemed BPD, and I think that's reasonable.**
I'm left wondering, however, what she tells her friends / family about ME. (Of course this forum got my biased view of things, leaving out good things and certainly emphasizing the negative. We ALL do this. Nobody is a fair judge of their own lives.)
I would imagine that she told them similar things. I probably was hot and cold. I probably did push or pull. In my mind I was responding to her actions, but maybe she feels the same? Maybe I'm the one with BPD?
This is something I've really been wondering about myself in the last few days. I met a really cute, successful, and seemingly down to earth girl a week ago and she seems to be really into me. I bailed on our second date. Why? I don't know. Didn't feel that excitement. What does that say about me?
One of my biggest gripes reading these forums is that women are always the bad ones. I think we have a self selecting group of discerning guys here, but we need to look inward more often.
** [Major Caveat: It's inherently UNREASONABLE for any of us to be diagnosing anyone with anything. That said, I think its useful to be aware of different personality disorders and know that while someone may not or may not be BPD, NPD, etc. Knowing symptoms and being able to say with broad strokes, something isn't right with this person, can help one realize that the person may have issues.]
I'm left wondering, however, what she tells her friends / family about ME. (Of course this forum got my biased view of things, leaving out good things and certainly emphasizing the negative. We ALL do this. Nobody is a fair judge of their own lives.)
I would imagine that she told them similar things. I probably was hot and cold. I probably did push or pull. In my mind I was responding to her actions, but maybe she feels the same? Maybe I'm the one with BPD?
This is something I've really been wondering about myself in the last few days. I met a really cute, successful, and seemingly down to earth girl a week ago and she seems to be really into me. I bailed on our second date. Why? I don't know. Didn't feel that excitement. What does that say about me?
One of my biggest gripes reading these forums is that women are always the bad ones. I think we have a self selecting group of discerning guys here, but we need to look inward more often.
** [Major Caveat: It's inherently UNREASONABLE for any of us to be diagnosing anyone with anything. That said, I think its useful to be aware of different personality disorders and know that while someone may not or may not be BPD, NPD, etc. Knowing symptoms and being able to say with broad strokes, something isn't right with this person, can help one realize that the person may have issues.]
wifehunter
Master Don Juan
Serenity
Moderator
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-almost-effect/201405/men-borderline-personality-disorder
It's pretty much the same traits, but for some odd reason men often get diagnosed with other disorders. It seems as if BPD is less common in men, but I think it's just a result of calling it other things.
It's pretty much the same traits, but for some odd reason men often get diagnosed with other disorders. It seems as if BPD is less common in men, but I think it's just a result of calling it other things.
I've never really run across guys that have or I suspect to have BPD, I think NPD is a little more common in men I know a few guys that have NPD they are pricks. If there wasn't NPD guys out there BPD women wouldn't have any guys to latch onto lol
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
I read in the late 1990's that BPDs are something like 99% female.
ImTheDoubleGreatest!
Master Don Juan
Men don't develop BPD. Under the same situations and circumstances that would cause a woman to get BPD is what causes a man to develop APD, or become a sociopath. You technically *can* become BPD as a man, but it's highly unlikely. It's not our pathology to become that. Likewise, women don't really become sociopaths (APD) either, as it isn't within their pathology. But they still can develop it too.
mrgoodstuff
Master Don Juan
That would be nuts. Guys are insane to stay when the going gets bad.
Thorninmyside
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2014
- Messages
- 636
- Reaction score
- 363
It's one of those things that gets super over-diagnosed, like every kid who is called ADD or ADHD who really just needed a father figure and a boot in the ass.
As I inderstand the personality illness, and it is one, can develop from any kind of a womans sexual molestation or rape in her youth ( doesn't usually happen to males), or a primary care giving mother psychologically abanonding her daughter at a much earlier age, likely age 1-12 years (can happen to males also, but not likely given a different mother to son paradigm).
Combine those two factors in one woman though, and you have a recipe for Any type of relationship with her to be a complete disaster.
The common term is completely damaged goods…
Last edited:
MisterMike
Don Juan
- Joined
- Jun 20, 2017
- Messages
- 86
- Reaction score
- 31
- Age
- 34
Male borderlines are exceedingly rare because of the way men show emotion/behave causes them to be misdiagnosed. A really good example is Patrick Bateman, who's borderline but labeled the "American Psycho."
stovepipe
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2017
- Messages
- 978
- Reaction score
- 1,089
After being with a BPD and educating myself I saw a lot of the same symptoms and patterns in a friend of mine. One day I asked him if he knew what BPD was and that I think he may have it. His next words were "funny you mentioned it, my therapist actually diagnosed me with it, I checked 10 out of 12 on his evaluation list". Same patterns, path of broken & destructive relationships, serial cheating, putting girls on pedestals, devaluing and discarding, future faking, fear of abandonment, ect.
He started seeing this new girl who his my buddy said is the first time hes never cheated. The day I met his gf our eyes locked, she smiled at me and later that night hit on me numerous times. After talking with her, learning about her past, I could see she also suffers from some mental disorder. They are so identical, I could see how they annoy each other to the max. He is starting to complain about her behavior, doesn't bring her out anymore, doesn't seem happy like he was just a month ago. Dont see it lasting that much longer, but relationships with broken people like themselves tend to last the longest.
He started seeing this new girl who his my buddy said is the first time hes never cheated. The day I met his gf our eyes locked, she smiled at me and later that night hit on me numerous times. After talking with her, learning about her past, I could see she also suffers from some mental disorder. They are so identical, I could see how they annoy each other to the max. He is starting to complain about her behavior, doesn't bring her out anymore, doesn't seem happy like he was just a month ago. Dont see it lasting that much longer, but relationships with broken people like themselves tend to last the longest.
