If I'm 20 years old and have already given up on trying to talk to girls for the rest of my life is

[Enticingly]

I'm 20 years old I have decided to stop approaching girls and trying to talk to them. In my head I am not good enough and don't feel that it's worth it for me to keep trying.

 

[btownbuck2012]

I'm 20 years old I have decided to stop approaching girls and trying to talk to them. In my head I am not good enough and don't feel that it's worth it for me to keep trying.

Elaborate please. Why, specifically, do you not feel good enough?

 

[Enticingly]

Elaborate please. Why, specifically, do you not feel good enough?

First off I don't feel that I'm physically attractive enough, I've had people tell me I'm good looking and so on but I don't think I'd ever actually believe it. I don't have any sort of career goals or anything going for me right now I've been just working a part time thing and coasting. I pretty much always feel that there's a better dude out there for a girl I might like so I won't even bother talking to her.

 

[btownbuck2012]

First off I don't feel that I'm physically attractive enough, I've had people tell me I'm good looking and so on but I don't think I'd ever actually believe it. I don't have any sort of career goals or anything going for me right now I've been just working a part time thing and coasting. I pretty much always feel that there's a better dude out there for a girl I might like so I won't even bother talking to her.

The stuff you just mentioned is either 1. in your mind without any supporting evidence OR 2. able to be improved.

You've been told you're good looking. Have you used what you're hearing from others as confidence and made an effort to meet more women? I'm going to give you a little secret. No matter how much you improve or how good looking you become, you will ALWAYS have to make an effort with women. They won't just throw themselves at you. So if you're not consistently trying to meet more women, you truly don't know your potential here.

In terms of career goals, you're only 20 and you are at a great time in your life to get this stuff figured out. The fact that you joined SS and posted a thread about this stuff means the inkling (ambition and finding purpose in life) in you is forcing you to make changes. Life won't let you stay mediocre without causing you great pain. Act on it. Start looking into furthering your education, networking with others, getting a better job.

Again, all this stuff is within your control. Take control of your life man.

 

[Enticingly]

The stuff you just mentioned is either 1. in your mind without any supporting evidence OR 2. able to be improved.

You've been told you're good looking. Have you used what you're hearing from others as confidence and made an effort to meet more women? I'm going to give you a little secret. No matter how much you improve or how good looking you become, you will ALWAYS have to make an effort with women. They won't just throw themselves at you. So if you're not consistently trying to meet more women, you truly don't know your potential here.

In terms of career goals, you're only 20 and you are at a great time in your life to get this stuff figured out. The fact that you joined SS and posted a thread about this stuff means the inkling (ambition and finding purpose in life) in you is forcing you to make changes. Life won't let you stay mediocre without causing you great pain. Act on it. Start looking into furthering your education, networking with others, getting a better job.

Again, all this stuff is within your control. Take control of your life man.

I'm skinny as hell idk if that factors into anything with girls, like I said I've been told I'm good looking facially never really body wise bc I'm extremely skinny. I also don't have confidence to have conversations or approach girls. As you said not consistently trying I haven't tried with any girls bc Ive been in a defeatist mood and basically given up. Sometimes man it seems so hard to even make the improvements to do better with girls and social life in general. I also get a lot of heat about it from family and friends bc I suppose they're expecting me to be meeting new girls and hooking up with women at my age.

 

[Young OG]

You need to start thinking of yourself as the catch and the best option. So what if you don't have a good career right now. Plenty of guys out there that don't have anything going for them are smashing hot girls all the time.

I banged a good amount of girls in my early 20s. I lived in my parents basement and had a part time job at a department store.

Get out there and start approaching again. Don't put hot girls on a pedastal. They eat, sleep, and crap just like you do. There not better then you or higher value then you. Read the DJ Bible.

 

[btownbuck2012]

I'm skinny as hell idk if that factors into anything with girls, like I said I've been told I'm good looking facially never really body wise bc I'm extremely skinny. I also don't have confidence to have conversations or approach girls. As you said not consistently trying I haven't tried with any girls bc Ive been in a defeatist mood and basically given up. Sometimes man it seems so hard to even make the improvements to do better with girls and social life in general. I also get a lot of heat about it from family and friends bc I suppose they're expecting me to be meeting new girls and hooking up with women at my age.

The solution to this is very simple but it's the last thing you're going to want to hear. You must make a concentrated effort to improve your social skills. I can tell you that in order to breakthrough you are going to have to get comfortable feeling uncomfortable. You must make an effort to talk to people, both men and women. And you must be willing to accept that the fact that this is going to be a process. You will make mistakes and will probably make a fool out of yourself in the early stages of your efforts. You desire to get better at socializing must be more than your fear of looking stupid or saying the wrong thing. Send me a PM if you'd like and we can dive deep into this. Otherwise, I, as well as everyone else on this forum, will be happy to help you get this situation under control.

Here's a few posts to take a look at:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/habit-is-all.28651/

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/let-yourself-fail.20106/

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/if-life-seems-hard-and-unhappy-read-this.60543/

 

[Enticingly]

You need to start thinking of yourself as the catch and the best option. So what if you don't have a good career right now. Plenty of guys out there that don't have anything going for them are smashing hot girls all the time.

I banged a good amount of girls in my early 20s. I lived in my parents basement and had a part time job at a department store.

Get out there and start approaching again. Don't put hot girls on a pedastal. They eat, sleep, and crap just like you do. There not better then you or higher value then you. Read the DJ Bible.

Wow it's really similar situations I just work part time at a dept. store and live at home lol. That's part of the issue for me bro is I struggle a lot to see myself as a "catch" or "prize" for girls I'd have myself being rejected before I even approached her just thinking nah she won't like me anyway. Lately I've just been seeing my 22 year old brother smashing girls and doing way better than I am in every aspect.

 

[resilient]

I highly recommend taking the Don Juan Boot Camp.

It's a life changer and will help you with your social skills tremendously if you're willing to apply yourself and desire to improve beyond the state you're in right now.

Don Juan Bootcamp Link:
http://www.djbible.classicalgasemissions.com/djbc.pdf

 

[Enticingly]

@btownbuck2012
The hardest part is I naturally have a really high sex drive and I'm basically fighting it off by not approaching girls and trying to get sex. My style is bad and I have never really put much into style or physical appearance.

 

[btownbuck2012]

@btownbuck2012
The hardest part is I naturally have a really high sex drive and I'm basically fighting it off by not approaching girls and trying to get sex. My style is bad and I have never really put much into style or physical appearance.

I'm just repeating myself now. This is all stuff you can make a choice to change. As per mentioned by @resilient , take the DJ bootcamp and start to change this stuff.

 

[Trump]

@btownbuck2012
The hardest part is I naturally have a really high sex drive and I'm basically fighting it off by not approaching girls and trying to get sex. My style is bad and I have never really put much into style or physical appearance.

I'm taking a wild guess:

- you have no sisters or girl cousins you hang with and look decent
- you have a mom who is short and yells and scream and insults
- you are not very tall
- you watch adult entertainment
- you feel sex is impossible to get
- you feel even if you put all the effort into looking good and getting in shape and dressing well, girls still won't like you so you don't care, its not worth it
- you feel like you should have had some experience in high school, then thought you would get it easily once you graduated. Didn't come and now you are upset
- you are angry because you think good looking girls owe you sex because of your childhood

At your age, if its making you nervous, get it anyway you can before you get older. It's going to bother you and bother you and bother you and your self esteem will suffer greatly.

 

[Enticingly]

I'm taking a wild guess:

- you have no sisters or girl cousins you hang with and look decent
- you have a mom who is short and yells and scream and insults
- you are not very tall
- you watch adult entertainment
- you feel sex is impossible to get
- you feel even if you put all the effort into looking good and getting in shape and dressing well, girls still won't like you so you don't care, its not worth it
- you feel like you should have had some experience in high school, then thought you would get it easily once you graduated. Didn't come and now you are upset
- you are angry because you think good looking girls owe you sex because of your childhood

At your age, if its making you nervous, get it anyway you can before you get older. It's going to bother you and bother you and bother you and your self esteem will suffer greatly.

Well I'm 6'1" but pretty skinny, I have 1 sister lol my mom is short but doesn't scream and insult. I wouldn't say I feel that girls owe me sex or anything like that. I have crazy low confidence, my brother that is 2 years older than me has been with plenty of girls and has 10x the better social life than I do.

 

[MatureDJ]

Have you considered dating fat chicks? Men have an easier time with them.

 

[skinnyguy]

Well I'm 6'1" but pretty skinny, I have 1 sister lol my mom is short but doesn't scream and insult. I wouldn't say I feel that girls owe me sex or anything like that. I have crazy low confidence, my brother that is 2 years older than me has been with plenty of girls and has 10x the better social life than I do.

You're basically me. I'm 6'1 and skinny. And I have one sister.

I went through 12 years of not getting any puss. I slept with multiple hot chicks last month and I know for a fact that I will have a dry spell in the fall cause girls don't go out as much. Don't give up. I was an AFC at 20, probably worse than you. I stuck with my career and now I make good money. Soon you'll realize that your situation actually isn't that bad and you can date some pretty hot girls. Stop thinking about the negatives.

 

[El Payaso]

Why force the OP to be something his not? He seems very self aware which is much better than many of us who grew up frustrated with women and couldn't quite figure out what was wrong.

At least he knows that a girl he finds attractive has a different man in mind.

What I would suggest to OP is to forget about women and just work on your life. Get your paper up. Get your education in line. Work out as much as you can. You'll find that whenever you work out, you get a sort of emotional boost that makes you happy and feel good about yourself. It's also a good way to let out stress and frustration after a day at work.

 

[RalphaWreck]

First off I don't feel that I'm physically attractive enough, I've had people tell me I'm good looking and so on but I don't think I'd ever actually believe it. I don't have any sort of career goals or anything going for me right now I've been just working a part time thing and coasting. I pretty much always feel that there's a better dude out there for a girl I might like so I won't even bother talking to her.

If you know you are coasting tgen don't coast.

 

[raider87]

Why force the OP to be something his not? He seems very self aware which is much better than many of us who grew up frustrated with women and couldn't quite figure out what was wrong.

At least he knows that a girl he finds attractive has a different man in mind.

What I would suggest to OP is to forget about women and just work on your life. Get your paper up. Get your education in line. Work out as much as you can. You'll find that whenever you work out, you get a sort of emotional boost that makes you happy and feel good about yourself. It's also a good way to let out stress and frustration after a day at work.

That's what i'd tell my 20 year old self.

 

[bigneil]

OP, you're at the hardest age for men. You have the perfect height though so you already have something to work on. Start eating really healthy, avoid prescription meds and drinking (stick to vodka and wine). Focus on what you will do for a living, start working out and by the time you reach 27 you'll be the man.

Don't think you're supposed to be as hot as 20 year old women. They are in their prime. It's all downhill for them, and all uphill for you. I'm 47 and never had an easier time with women.

 

[Enticingly]

OP, you're at the hardest age for men. You have the perfect height though so you already have something to work on. Start eating really healthy, avoid prescription meds and drinking (stick to vodka and wine). Focus on what you will do for a living, start working out and by the time you reach 27 you'll be the man.

Don't think you're supposed to be as hot as 20 year old women. They are in their prime. It's all downhill for them, and all uphill for you. I'm 47 and never had an easier time with women.

Wouldn't all puss be used goods by the time I'm 27 man lol.