Are cold approach and online dating really the only options?

[drakeisfire]

Once you leave a school setting that is.

I am asking this for all guys who have transitioned out of academics and now work full time in a big city. It seems like unless you cold approach (night game, day game, and talking to random women) or get on online dating, your options for meeting women are next to zero.

Are they really the only options?

 

[Jifto]

Hey man,

Yes. It seems like that is the case to me. I think the only other option is meeting people through other people, so open yourself up to that too. Make new friends, do things that put yourself out of your comfort zone, etc. One thing I'm trying to do is put myself out of my comfort zone regularly. Basically, whenever I want to say no to something because I want to stay in, I say yes.

In reality, I do this about 50% of the time, but 50% beats 0%. I've met one girl that I dated for a few months this way.

Jifto

 

[cola]

Not only are cold approach and OLD not the only option they are the least effective options. If you have to see a girl often because of a shared activity or interest your chances of dating her skyrocket. Here are some ideas to surround yourself with women:

-Volunteer work.
Volunteering you will be surrounded by women most likely, and you will be doing a good service at the same time.

-Crossfit
Cross fit isn't like an ordinary gym. The exercises are often group based or they pair you off with a partner. It's usually tons of chicks in crossfit.
& even though it's not my own personal choice for working out, you can definitely get ripped doing it.

-Book clubs
Book clubs are definitely loaded with chicks. And you also get to read as well.

-Dance Class
Salsa, HipHop, Waltz whatever style of dance you want to learn will be crawling with women. & if you ever are put on the spot to dance you will be able to WOW people with your moves.

-Yoga
Ditto. Crawling with chicks, great for your body and mind.


I could do this all day.
Basically the objective is to put yourself in activities/hobby groups where you are surrounded by women. You will find they will be more inviting than your standard cold approach or online date.

 

[bigneil]

Once you leave a school setting that is.

I am asking this for all guys who have transitioned out of academics and now work full time in a big city. It seems like unless you cold approach (night game, day game, and talking to random women) or get on online dating, your options for meeting women are next to zero.

Are they really the only options?

No. You could try:

1) Dressing well.
2) Looking well.
3) Being good at talking to women.
4) Picking up women who you cross paths with.

 

[Dash Riprock]

Not only are cold approach and OLD not the only option they are the least effective options. If you have to see a girl often because of a shared activity or interest your chances of dating her skyrocket. Here are some ideas to surround yourself with women:

-Volunteer work.
Volunteering you will be surrounded by women most likely, and you will be doing a good service at the same time.

-Crossfit
Cross fit isn't like an ordinary gym. The exercises are often group based or they pair you off with a partner. It's usually tons of chicks in crossfit.
& even though it's not my own personal choice for working out, you can definitely get ripped doing it.

-Book clubs
Book clubs are definitely loaded with chicks. And you also get to read as well.

-Dance Class
Salsa, HipHop, Waltz whatever style of dance you want to learn will be crawling with women. & if you ever are put on the spot to dance you will be able to WOW people with your moves.

-Yoga
Ditto. Crawling with chicks, great for your body and mind.

Great post @cola. OLD is horrible. It's such a waste of time. I have dated 12 women from Match over the past year and one off and on for 5 months, but the amount of effort you have to put in is overwhelming. I've been off Match for a few weeks and am going to try meeting women organically only.

 

[Masculinity]

Once you leave a school setting that is.

I am asking this for all guys who have transitioned out of academics and now work full time in a big city. It seems like unless you cold approach (night game, day game, and talking to random women) or get on online dating, your options for meeting women are next to zero.

Are they really the only options?

Go out and do it. Yes, that's pretty much it...unless you're paying hookers or strippers to like you lol.

 

[drakeisfire]

Not only are cold approach and OLD not the only option they are the least effective options. If you have to see a girl often because of a shared activity or interest your chances of dating her skyrocket. Here are some ideas to surround yourself with women:

Basically the objective is to put yourself in activities/hobby groups where you are surrounded by women. You will find they will be more inviting than your standard cold approach or online date.

All of those are kinda ****ty IMO because girls are going there to work out and avoid men, not to really have fun, plus crossfit is so cringe.

 

[wifehunter]

No

go out and meet people...talk to everyone.

 

[raider87]

Cold approach is awesome. Just get in the habit of sparking up random convos with random women.

 

[Trump]

Great post @cola. OLD is horrible. It's such a waste of time. I have dated 12 women from Match over the past year and one off and on for 5 months, but the amount of effort you have to put in is overwhelming. I've been off Match for a few weeks and am going to try meeting women organically only.

How hard is it to throw some pictures up and start a conversation behind a screen?

I think you have to meet girls; through friends; through school, through church. All those other activities; yoga, dance, clubs, too gimmicky. Girls aren't dumb, they know you hate it and are just there to try to have sex with them. What guy goes to volunteer or to dance class instead of going to play ice hockey with his buddies; a guy who has no girls, or a guy who is swimming in girls?

Never known someone to meet, have sex with, and have a relationship with a young good looking girl they met at 'yoga.' What young good looking girl at yoga is not going to have a 6'1 boyfriend? Way too contrived.

Meet them in school. Much better.

 

[ubercat]

Dunno bout that. I went to a hiking group on the weekend. It was wasted on me because I had my girlfriend there. But there was a blonde hb8 there who had been divorced a couple of years was single and seems like a nice girl. And yes I did discover all that in conversation

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

-Dance Class
Salsa, HipHop, Waltz whatever style of dance you want to learn will be crawling with women. & if you ever are put on the spot to dance you will be able to WOW people with your moves.

-Yoga
Ditto. Crawling with chicks, great for your body and mind.

Cringe. All the women know why you are there. Now a poetry club I might be into.....

 

[bigneil]

You might try a warm approach and offline dating.

 

[Dash Riprock]

How hard is it to throw some pictures up and start a conversation behind a screen?

It's not hard at all. The problem is all the hot women on OLD sites can get 100's of messages per day. Seriously. So even as an above average looking guy who hits the gym 5x/week, has his own successful business with ops in 4 states, has $$$$ in the bank, has social skills, and knows how to be a DJ (I'm not saying all this to brag, it just "is") -- it's a rare event when I get a woman I message to reply. I also customize each message based on their profile and even throw in a clean joke or make a funny observation just to be different. Still, my hit rate is maybe 7%. So, it can be done but as mentioned, the work and frustration is incredible.

I'm actually thinking about signing up for a matchmaking service called It's Just Lunch.

BTW, I'm over 40 so it gets exponentially hard to meet quality people as you get older.

 

[Urbanyst]

There is also social sports and events going on in your city you can join and meet women. I've met a lot of women that way. You can join a co-ed vollyball team, bowling team, hiking group, bicycling group, or another sport hot women like.

But cold approach and online has the most numbers with the least time investment.

I recently wrote a thread on how to THRIVE using Tinder and Bumble dating Apps:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/dating-app-thrive-guide-for-tinder-bumble.242221/

 

[bigneil]

BTW, I'm over 40 so it gets exponentially hard to meet quality people as you get older.

Not online you won't. I won't go near online. Hit the gym, eat right and hit on 18 year old cashiers and you'll have more success.

 

[Trump]

It's not hard at all. The problem is all the hot women on OLD sites can get 100's of messages per day. Seriously. So even as an above average looking guy who hits the gym 5x/week, has his own successful business with ops in 4 states, has $$$$ in the bank, has social skills, and knows how to be a DJ (I'm not saying all this to brag, it just "is") -- it's a rare event when I get a woman I message to reply. I also customize each message based on their profile and even throw in a clean joke or make a funny observation just to be different. Still, my hit rate is maybe 7%. So, it can be done but as mentioned, the work and frustration is incredible.

I'm actually thinking about signing up for a matchmaking service called It's Just Lunch.

BTW, I'm over 40 so it gets exponentially hard to meet quality people as you get older.

You have business operations in 4 states and lots of money in the bank. Some 27 year old girls online don't respond to your messages and you get that rattled?

Come on bro, you are not making sense. If some 27 year old girl can get you frustrated with some emails, business would eat you up and spit you out. Or maybe we are not valuing young girls and sex enough?

 

[SuckItUp]

Once you leave a school setting that is.

I am asking this for all guys who have transitioned out of academics and now work full time in a big city. It seems like unless you cold approach (night game, day game, and talking to random women) or get on online dating, your options for meeting women are next to zero.

Are they really the only options?

Nope, they are the two options if you lack a social circle. That being said they have the lowest success rate because they are cold leads so to speak.

A man's social circle is important for his social proof not only for women but also for business.

 

[Dash Riprock]

You have business operations in 4 states and lots of money in the bank. Some 27 year old girls online don't respond to your messages and you get that rattled?

Come on bro, you are not making sense. If some 27 year old girl can get you frustrated with some emails, business would eat you up and spit you out. Or maybe we are not valuing young girls and sex enough?

@Trump You're missing the point. And I don't message 27 year olds. The point is you can be a guy and have many advantages but in the world of OLD, it doesn't really matter. It's all about age (#1 thing women filter for) and how many emails she is pouring through. You cannot control either one of these factors. After a well thought out but short and concise message, I would say maybe 30-40% even read them (Match tells you if they read or not). Then if they do read, you're maybe one of 50+ she skimmed. Then, if you do go out with an OLD woman, you can be sure she's seeing a few guys along with you. Not a problem I know, many here will say then multi-date her too, but the odds of dealing with multi-daters are lower meeting organically. If I were 25 or even 35, fine. But over 40, you have other interests beside becoming a professional dater and being out on dates 5-6 nights/ week. Especially when most don't pan out. HUGE waste of time.I'm a business owner, workout a lot, have a Doberman that needs a ton of exercise, and mostly I have other interests. So I'm saying it's a very low percentage option for most men. I'm successful in that I've dated 12 or so hot women from OLD in the past year but it's taken a lot of time.

 

[drakeisfire]

Meet them in school. Much better.

which is why this thread was about after school dummy