@bigneil I can't help you here. I did one ONS when I was 19 and decided it was NOT for me.
I don't do casual sex, ever.
If I am having sex with someone it is because I am in a monogamous relationship.
If some time passes and I am having sex with someone else, it is because I am no longer in the last monogamous relationship due to a break up, and have entered into another monogamous relationship.
I'm not easy to get into a relationship either. I screen. Lol, im trying to pick the "last one". So far I suck at that.