Silence is golden

[Glassguy]

Lots of guys have been asking for advice on how to deal with texting and communicating with women. most of the time the guys are so damn impatient and feel like they have to sell themselves through texting and have these long convos about everything under the sun to make the woman feel interested.

Actually, its quite the opposite. A fast way to check her interest is to just bail out of the convo and see how she responds. Dont do this if her last text is asking you a question as its a sign of high interest.

Example (actual text from 2 weeks ago)

Me: Hey you, I saw you earlier today but I was too busy to slow down and say Hi.
Her: You should have came over and talked to me.
Me: I am super busy and was in a hurry. I'm planning on going to _____ Thursday evening. If you are free head down and grab a drink.
Her: Sounds good. What time?
Me: 8
Her: Ok I can make it then. So have you been to this place before? What should I wear?

Obviously she is interested. No need to abort the conversation, which would be like her asking me this in person and me turning around and walking off (Attraction killer).

So what I said was "Its a fun, casual place. Wear something cute . I have to run, see you Thursday"

Notice I didnt ask her one single question. This is how I trigger and gauge interest and not come across as needy and having no other options. I showed interested and asked her out, all in statements. Not questions.

On the flip side, this also happens:

Me: hey you, saw you out today blah blah blah
Her: Yeah I was there today.
Me: I was super busy or I would have stopped and said hi. I wasnt trying to be rude
Her: Ok lol

At this point I would bail out and see if she respond back again, which will more than likely be a question. I am forcing her to pick up the conversation (effort). If she does, great. I will invite her for the drink. If not, I am not responding a 2nd time.

If there is any interest there on her part, she will at some point come back into the conversation. If not, oh well.

Dont chase. Anything said past the last text is over texting and the beginning of chasing. This is where most guys cannot keep their fingers off the screen and have to keep texting. Once you do this, it will kill any attraction that is there.

Texting, for a while, was my weakness. I have gotten much better at it because I realize that it is not what you say but how you say it.

I dont ask questions, I make statements, especially in the first few texts. If she is interested she will start asking questions, which show interest.

Make statements that show interest, if she starts keeping the convo going and asking questions, ask her out. If she doesnt, save yourself the rejection by identifying low/no interest and drop it.

If you get the date, its ok to respond to her messages but you shouldnt be initiating much of anything at that point until you have taken her out/met up with her.

Only give your time and attention to interested chicks, dont over text, dont ask questions and gauge their interest. Its much less rejection and eliminates chasing.

I hope this helps.

 

[bigneil]

In my most successful relationship of the texting era, I kept stats.

1) We only texted each other every OTHER day on average.
2) She initiated 2/3 of the time overall (meaning the first to text on a given day).
3) During the prime 4 months (out of 9), she initiated 4 times per week and I only initiated 1 time per week (80% her).
4) After a date, she was the first to text - always. Once she made me wait 13 days but I waited. She described it as "You give me space".
5) I never sent a date reminder - ever. Once she made me wait until she was actually in the Uber to say she was on her way, but I still didn't crack.
6) When she told me there was someone else, I said goodbye after one last conversation in which we both said we loved each other, and never wrote to her again.

 

[CMNILS87]

Very helpful dude. Thanks. Im a day after an OLD. Im iffy on her but honestly i want to try the things i learned here to help change my behavior and see what works for me or what doesnt.

Did you have fun on the date? Did you connect? Did she laugh at your jokes? Do you see yourself continuing another date and smashing or no? If not, why worry about texting.

Some say don't text after the date and wait two days, but really everyone has a different opinion. I usually text an hour after the date and tell her I had fun and a good night. And then just disappear for a couple days due to being busy. If she wants to see me again she'll break silence within a couple days. If not, I'll know she was on the fence about me or I'll send out a quick text to ping her and set another date.

 

[bigneil]

If that was the prime level and frequency to communicate why didnt it last longer?

Why didn't it last longer than 9 months? With a 21 year old HB9? When you are 46?

For one, she initiated a divorce with her husband (seemed good at the time), and that threw a wrench into things. Then I pushed her away. But what's the longest you ever got a HB9 to stay with you?

That was the longest I ever got the girl of my dreams to be in love with me. I've had girls I wasn't crazy about love me longer, but not the girl of my dreams.

You think texting every day is prime? Most guys would have texted her 7 straight days, and most guys didn't get her to fall in love with them.

I don't think "it didn't last forever, therefore it was wrong" is a good mantra.

 

[Bingo-Player]

Yeh agreed

Funny enough this happened to me on Sunday , I messaged a chick I had met out Saturday night( interest was mediocre to high on the night)

By the time I messaged her 12 hours later, her interest was virtually none existent

Example : (along with subtitles)

Bingo – we made a good collaboration in the club last night

Her – HAHAAH yeh we did ( laughing emoji)

Bingo – you got on to my vibe really quickly - ( this was the hail mary )

Her – HAHA yea I really enjoyed actually – (shes giving me nothing to work with here)

Bingo – my numbers XYZ text me if you want to do it again – ( time to shut the convo down if she’s at all interested she can contact me at a later date )

Her – Yea ok


I don’t think its good when a woman uses lots of HAHAHA’s and laughing emojiis I usually find it means she’s going to be flaky


The point is within 3 messages I worked out that either A) this chick isn’t interested at the moment or B) she’s got other guys as a priority


Either way it wasn’t worth me spewing anymore out to there , I could of told her I was the prince of china and she still would of given me a dead end response

 

[resilient]

@Bingo-Player, yeah too many HAHAs or LOLs ironically translates to boredom in messaging.

I wonder if you followed that first statement with a question that makes her qualify herself in the interaction would have gotten a better hook. For example, "we made a good collaboration in the club last night, I wonder how our collaboration would work in other areas" or something to get her fantasizing about you.

Also, notice, she didn't ask any questions back?

Just agreeing with your statements doesn't get her to invest in the convo.

I think you were right about points A and B.

Did you try to set up a date at the end of that? Maybe some banter back and forth and then say you're going somewhere on x day and y time and she can join you if she likes.

My recent crash and burn story
I crashed and burned with a plate in the last week or so. I reached out after a few days from when I last saw her last week. I sent a text and only get a thumbs up emoji an hour later. Fast forward a few days later on Monday I sent an email with a funny video and suggesting we hang this coming Thursday and all I got was an "Oh cool, thanks!" -- Lol! NEXT! My princess is in another castle.

 

[Glassguy]

@Bingo-Player, yeah too many HAHAs or LOLs ironically translates to boredom in messaging. I wonder if you followed that first statement with a question that makes her qualify herself in the interaction would have gotten a better hook. For example, "we made a good collaboration in the club last night, I wonder how our collaboration would work in other areas" or something to get her fantasizing about you.

Also, notice, she didn't ask any questions back?

Just agreeing with your statements doesn't get to invest in the convo. I think you were right about points A and B. Did you try to set up a date at the end of that? Maybe some banter back and forth and then say you're going somewhere on x day and y time and she can join you if she likes.

I crashed and burned with a plate in the last week or so. I reached out after a few days from when I last saw her last week. I sent a text and only get a thumbs up emoji an hour later. Fast forward a few days later on Monday I sent an email with a funny video and suggesting we hang this coming Thursday and all I got was an "Oh cool, thanks!" -- Lol! NEXT! My princess is in another castle.

"HaHa", "LOL OK"/"OK LOL" are never good. I agree is also not good when they arent asking at least a basic question here and there in the first round of messages.

At that point its best to cut it off and she will come back to the convo later if there is interest on her part.

That is my point.....too many guys dont know when to shut it down and go silent. A LOT of these chicks will come back into the convo as long as the guy goes quiet at that very point and walks away. There is power in that vs the neediness of continuing to text/message.

You've shown your interest and there it begins either walking away or chasing. Chasing is never good.

I messaged a chick yesterday who posted a selfie (very nice smile and inviting lips).

ME: That selfie you posted has me slightly curious.
Her (Immediately): Oh yeah? Curious about what?
Me: I never noticed the smile and sexy lips before. I have a suspicion you may be a good kisser.
Her: OK LOL.
Me: You can accept the compliment, I will accept that the interest isnt mutual. Take care

Then deleted the message. It doesnt always work out.

 

[Glassguy]

Chicks do weird things that make no sense.

Still not sure about this particular chick, other than I am not chasing lol. Its weird when they OFFER their number without you asking for it, then dry up after a few days of texting here there.

Me: Hey you. I thought that was you at _____ when I was there with friends the other night.
Her: I noticed you to but didnt want to break up the guy talk haha
Me: No worries. We headed out to ______ to grab a bite to eat when we left. Its the new place that just opened.
Her: I havent tried it yet but I want to go. Is it good?
Me: Good food, cold beer and great atmosphere. Let me know when you can go and maybe I can get free and we can meet up
Her: Ok! That sounds good. If you want to text me I will give you my number.
Me: Sure thing. I will text you later when I get free again
Her: _____ (number)

4 hours later I text her. Says she would like to go out on my boat, asking me when I am going boating again, etc.

I made sure to wait a little while in between texting back and forth. Her texts seemed up beat and excited. Didnt hear from her at all on Tuesday. Texted her a little while ago:

"Probably hitting the new place for a few drinks on Friday, possible boating late Saturday evening if you're still interested".

No response yet. I will just let it sit there as there is nothing invested yet.

Case and point of how they can be hot/cold. Who knows if someone else is hitting it, ex still in the picture, etc. No response from her will mean a dodged bullet lol.

 

[Glassguy]

Then they do more weird stuff. The chick that I havent heard from in the last couple of days just texted me "Hey".

I think I will wait a few hours to respond. I am rather busy.

 

[SmooveMooves]

Me: I never noticed the smile and sexy lips before. I have a suspicion you may be a good kisser.
Her: OK LOL.

To be fair Glassguy this exchange was pretty corny. Sounds like a highschool attempt at flirting

Me: You can accept the compliment, I will accept that the interest isnt mutual. Take care.

You gave great texting advice about going silent. This last response was unnecessary and just showed you were butthurt. Silence & Deleting the number are the best reaction to bítchy or uninteresting women.

 

[Glassguy]

To be fair Glassguy this exchange was pretty corny. Sounds like a highschool attempt at flirting



You gave great texting advice about going silent. This last response was unnecessary and just showed you were butthurt. Silence & Deleting the number are the best reaction to bítchy or uninteresting women.

You would be surprised how often it works.

 

[resilient]

Silence and deleting FTW! If attention is truly a man's currency, withdrawing and gaming other plates send a clear message.

"It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to talk and remove all doubt of it.” ― Maurice Switzer
​

 

[Bingo-Player]

I think we are all guilty of underestimating how many options these girls we are texting have

Infact im going to put it out there and say every woman over a HB6.5 has got a minimum of 3 guys in her roatation at any one time and I don’t just mean guys that will orbit and randomly drop her a message now and then

I mean guys who are heavily invested in her / prepared to take her out / fvck her / buy her presents blah blah

Obviously you're 8’s & 9’s are going to have a lot more but that comes with the terrioirty

The point is we are ALL trying to gain her attention and her pu$$Y so that means she gets to dictate the sale price , if you cant reach that price or do something to comprimise her interest you will get tossed aside or to put it nicely “forgotten about”


Take this example

You meet a chick on a nightout she gives her number

You text her the next day –“ hey last night with you was fun”

*ensues small talk *

Meanwhile one of HER actual plates texts her

“im gonna tear that pu$$y apart later, make sure you’re wearing my favourite underwear”

Which conversation are you going to focus on if you are her ?


Sadly This is the only logic I can apply to understand the randomness of they’re behaviour


Im a firm beliver in needing to catch a woman at exactly the right time in order to get anything from her ….if she’s got too many plates / orbiters forget about it your fighting a losing battle

NEXT

 

[CMNILS87]

Then they do more weird stuff. The chick that I havent heard from in the last couple of days just texted me "Hey".

I think I will wait a few hours to respond. I am rather busy.

She's pinging you for interest. You're an orbiter or a 2nd option. Who cares who's hitting it. What's not happening is she's not responding to your date offers and playing texting games. I'd respond back with something short and let it fizzle. Don't ask for another date unless she offers asking when you're taking her out. Personally I'd just drop the chick and reset. Maybe text her 2-3 weeks from now

 

[guru1000]

Sadly This is the only logic I can apply to understand the randomness of they’re behaviour

You evade true logic to protect your ego. The truth: Women are perfectly logical and not random when their interest level is high. When they are unsure about you, then "randomness" manifests. Akin to how you would operate with a girl of lower SMV.

The Manosphere was built on hurt egos; even further, "tactics" were created and contrived to further protect the broken ego under the machination of "game." As AntiDump did say, "Protect your heart." But why?

True transcendence is recognizing reality as it were and, notwithstanding, continuing to operate authentically by YOUR rules--not the manosphere's--weathering the failures, getting right back up and trying again more polished with lesson(s) extracted.

This is how MEN operate ... in embracing challenge and failure authentically ... not avoidance tactics guised as "game." This is the ideal of a DJ.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

She's pinging you for interest. You're an orbiter or a 2nd option. Who cares who's hitting it. What's not happening is she's not responding to your date offers and playing texting games. I'd respond back with something short and let it fizzle. Don't ask for another date unless she offers asking when you're taking her out. Personally I'd just drop the chick and reset. Maybe text her 2-3 weeks from now

Y'all are right to simplify all this to whether we're hitting it or not.

 

[djthiago1]

In my most successful relationship of the texting era, I kept stats.

1) We only texted each other every OTHER day on average.
2) She initiated 2/3 of the time overall (meaning the first to text on a given day).
3) During the prime 4 months (out of 9), she initiated 4 times per week and I only initiated 1 time per week (80% her).
4) After a date, she was the first to text - always. Once she made me wait 13 days but I waited. She described it as "You give me space".
5) I never sent a date reminder - ever. Once she made me wait until she was actually in the Uber to say she was on her way, but I still didn't crack.
6) When she told me there was someone else, I said goodbye after one last conversation in which we both said we loved each other, and never wrote to her again.

Sad. Doubt she will find another dude that can act the same.

 

[bigneil]

Sad. Doubt she will find another dude that can act the same.

I bet she cringes every time her new guy texts "Good morning! Lol! LOL!!"

 

[marmel75]

Did you have fun on the date? Did you connect? Did she laugh at your jokes? Do you see yourself continuing another date and smashing or no? If not, why worry about texting.

Some say don't text after the date and wait two days, but really everyone has a different opinion. I usually text an hour after the date and tell her I had fun and a good night. And then just disappear for a couple days due to being busy. If she wants to see me again she'll break silence within a couple days. If not, I'll know she was on the fence about me or I'll send out a quick text to ping her and set another date.

Hmm...in pretty much every case where a woman was really interested in me she would text me that same night that she had fun and hoped to see me again or at worst, I'd wake up to a text from her the following morning...

Not saying it's always going to happen but if it doesn't there is a good chance she is either not interested or on the fence with you.