It's not juggling if you're only holding one ball

[Thorninmyside]

We get a lot of threads where a poster's only girl is referred to as a plate. He's worried about losing her. He screens her every text for possible **** tests. He considers every word he sends back as though it may cause a catastrophic turn of events that might dry up the plate's ***** (tip: you bring about what you fear). He met her on POF but doesn't want to lose her (tip: find out what the P stands for).

So many of the issues faced can be neutralized by having enough plates to suit your lifestyle that you won't even care which one writes back, or how long it took her, or how long you should wait to text back, or whether your text hits the sweet spot percentage of words compared to hers.

Three plates might be plenty for your free time. Two even. Five for the next guy. The point is, if you are sweating what one person thinks, does or says, you need to diversify your portfolio. Would you put all your money into a fund that constantly had to questioning the ROI? Nope!

 

[bigneil]

In my last relationship it went smoothly for 8 months, then she asked me to meet for lunch. I declined. She then agreed to dinner with a curfew. I declined (that was the moment I let go). In an ironic twist I accidentally deleted her text thread, which went all the way back to September. Then I cancelled a date for the first time, and missed one of her only times asking me out when I shut my phone off for a few days. She then told me she was in love with her new roommate, who she started dating the day I shut my phone off.

I wonder if this was a self fulfilling prophecy, but I think it was just a plain old prophecy (or maybe my observing the obvious).

I had a new date within 5 days, but consider:

1) Saw girl who I loved who had her exact braids.
2) Saw another girl who I loved who had her exact braids.
3) Got a phone number and it had the same last FIVE digits as her number (1 in 100,000 odds). Her birthday was the day I brought I the other girl to the club. Even she herself was baffled.
4) Met another model born the year she was, and agreed to do a photo shoot - has the same name (a rare name that I never had a phone number of).
5) Met a girl with her braids, showed her a photo of the braids, then asked her name and she ALSO has the same name! Also born the same year.
6) Met a girl with her eyes (that was the one I have been dating).
7) Met another girl whose birthday was the day of girl 3, the day I brought her to the club.

Is this a sign that I shouldn't forget about her yet?

 

[Thorninmyside]

I'm not much for signs because we can see them when we want to (white car syndrome). All I know for sure is that anyone who could walk away from me isn't one I want to chase, and that interested people won't always make me guess.

 

[Trump]

Three plates might be plenty for your free time. Two even. Five for the next guy. The point is, if you are sweating what one person thinks, does or says, you need to diversify your portfolio. Would you put all your money into a fund that constantly had to questioning the ROI? Nope!

Good in theory but it's not reality. Guy usually has questions plate because plate has value. Notice no one comes in here and asks: "I'm dating a 45 year old slightly overweight single mom who has doesn't do anything. I really like her and don't want to lose her. Is she testing me? How should I respond to her text?"

Even if you have 3 plates, you are obviously going to like one more than the others. I think this site wants men to be robots. No feelings or emotions towards women. Just have sex with her and move on.

If only picking a fund was as tough as meeting, talking to, attracting and eventually having sex with a young, good looking, single, available girl with little baggage.

 

[Thorninmyside]

Good in theory but it's not reality.

It can be reality. They're just girls, not some elusive being.

Guy usually has questions plate because plate has value.

Gold only has value because someone decided that it does. We are the ones who attach value to things. Anything that makes my life more difficult is not of high value.

Notice no one comes in here and asks: "I'm dating a 45 year old slightly overweight single mom who has doesn't do anything. I really like her and don't want to lose her. Is she testing me? How should I respond to her text?"

Your example is exaggerated for effect, but there certainly are people worried about keeping low quality girls.

[/QUOTE]

If only picking a fund was as tough as meeting, talking to, attracting and eventually having sex with a young, good looking, single, available girl with little baggage.

There is freedom in simplifying the way you think about these things. Anything that doesn't enhance your life detracts from it. It seems as though you have neglected to consider that girls are constantly considering their options as well, and prepared to exercise them if they are not satisfied.

 

[resilient]

I don't know if this is on topic or what, so I'll just put down a few of my thoughts lately here:

Using an outside perspective... it's amazing how fast interest level can change over night when interest level drops off. It could be something you did or said or didn't do and didn't say. The speed of escalation in seduction (too fast/too slow).

A new competitor enters the stage unknown to the unassumingly suave Don Juan who's off doing his own thing and spinning his other plates. She goes on a date 1,2,3 with the new guy when she's not around the Don Juan on a weeknight or weekend night in the span of one to two weeks, his game is tight (or tighter than yours of late), sweeps her off her feet and then WHAM over night it's like you don't (or ever) exist.

Like @nismo-4 says often if you're not #1... you're not #2 or something along those lines.

The trail goes cold.

Radio silence (or less initiation in text or shorter responses void of excitement).

Withdrawn behavior.

No chase or interest like there was initially in text, social media, or flirting behavior.

Her interest level is like the unpredictable weather.

I think you used to see interest level sustaining over a longer period of time, and now you see a higher plate turnover rate just like a job.

Oh well. Hi-ho, hi-ho, it's onto the next plate, we go.

 

[bigneil]

I think you used to see interest level sustaining over a longer period of time, and now you see a higher plate turnover rate just like a job.

A generation ago, a man could make EVERY conceivable mistake, but as long as he didn't make any one particular mistake 7 times in a row, she stayed with him (and I'm comparing a near carbon copy of my last Star Trek girl circa 1993 to her and they were twins).

Nowadays, a man is always one Instagram Like away from being dumped.

 

[bigneil]

Hire a physical trainer. You won't believe the results. Every day I'm amazed to see myself in the mirror. Each day I see a new area defined. Mainly my jawline has become more defined (IMO the #1 feature a man can have - something that comes long after lean abs). As this happens, I see hotter and hotter women giving me the eye. This is the only way to compete with today's bimbo squad.

This is the game they play - pushing physical attraction buttons.

 

[resilient]

Nowadays, man is always one Instagram Like away from being dumped.

I know right? It's like they feel like gods.

I wish there was a way for us Don Juans to take the power back. I think the only kryptonite we have as Don Juans is leveraging Game with abundance: fighting options with options. It's like a Texas hold em' game, playing calls seeing who wants to up the ante to call a bluff on the river card.

I don't remember dating being like this in my 20s.

Then, women were more curious, sweet, enduring, innocent, played and teased more, less pressure, less check list Cosmo items, played less games, were less mysterious and were more transparent on off-date days. You could make mistakes and they were more forgiving.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[Thorninmyside]

A generation ago, a man could make EVERY conceivable mistake, but as long as he didn't make any one particular mistake 7 times in a row, she stayed with him (and I'm comparing a near carbon copy of my last Star Trek girl circa 1993 to her and they were twins).

Nowadays, a man is always one Instagram Like away from being dumped.

At the risk of sounding nostalgic, I agree completely. There was a time when girls I would date had my interests at heart as well as their own. staying in long term relationships was easier because people were looking for long term and prepared to work for it. Now it's cut and run, and while we could be accused of doing the same thing, I look at it more as adapting to the playing field of the current times, disappointing as they can be. To date like it's 1990 in 2017 is just to be a complete putz.

The music industry didn't adapt to the trends in digital file sharing in the late 90s / early 2000s, and lost market share because they romanticised The Way It Used To Be and the way it 'should' be. Men have had to adapt to how relationships work these days, even if it was better in the past.

Everything else is fast moving in life, so why not the turnover of relationships? They seem to go hand in hand.

 

[bigneil]

The music industry didn't adapt to the trends in digital file sharing in the late 90s / early 2000s, and lost market share because they romanticised The Way It Used To Be and the way it 'should' be. Men have had to adapt to how relationships work these days, even if it was better in the past.

This is one of best analogies of all time (the mark of a true genius) - we used to have albums for $15.99 and now we have iTune or Amazon singles for $1.29.

 

[Thorninmyside]

This is one of best analogies of all time (the mark of a true genius) - we used to have albums for $15.99 and now we have iTune or Amazon singles for $1.29.

I work in music, so as a creative person and also an entrepreneur, the parallels between this stuff and dating trends are really hard to ignore sometimes.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

I know right? It's like they feel like gods.

I wish there was a way for us Don Juans to take the power back. I think the only kryptonite we have as Don Juans is leveraging Game with abundance: fighting options with options. It's like a Texas hold em' game, playing calls seeing who wants to up the ante to call a bluff on the river card.

I don't remember dating being like this in my 20s.

Then, women were more curious, sweet, enduring, innocent, played and teased more, less pressure, less check list Cosmo items, played less games, were less mysterious and were more transparent on off-date days. You could make mistakes and they were more forgiving.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

So you think that before feminism, the "Don Juans" had the power in the world?

I think it was the European imperialists and their armies.

 

[bigneil]

So you think that before feminism, the "Don Juans" had the power in the world?

I think it was the European imperialists and their armies.

Indeed look at the horrors - the Civil War killed 625,000 Americans, 300K from each side, that was about 2% of the population then (the same as a US Holocaust of 6 Million today).

World War 1 nearly killed so many young Western men the West was almost destroyed altogether. They had to hire Chinese to pick up the white bodies.

Then World War 2 (the first 2 world wars were to countries what Wal Mart and Target have been to mom and pop businesses), then the Cold War, Feminism, Vietnam, Operation Desert Shield, and the eternal War on Terror.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Indeed look at the horrors - the Civil War killed 625,000 Americans, 300K from each side, that was about 2% of the population then (the same as a US Holocaust of 6 Million today).

World War 1 nearly killed so many young Western men the West was almost destroyed altogether. They had to hire Chinese to pick up the white bodies.

Then World War 2 (the first 2 world wars were to countries what Wal Mart and Target have been to mom and pop businesses), then the Cold War, Feminism, Vietnam, Operation Desert Shield, and the eternal War on Terror.

I am of the opinion that the world ceased to make sense after World War II.

The Europeans gave up their colonies and set up a United Nations where piss poor countries like Cameroon have the same vote as Britain.

Too much multiculturalism is a bad thing.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

And I don't know what happened to white people since then. It's common knowledge today that "white people are pussies." Is it really just because of feminism?

 

[bigneil]

I am of the opinion that the world ceased to make sense after World War II.

The Europeans gave up their colonies and set up a United Nations where piss poor countries like Cameroon have the same vote as Britain.

Too much multiculturalism is a bad thing.

Really after World War 1. Before that all sources of wealth were tied to the land, and men had worked for generations. Afterward, you had to have a degree and deal with HR.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

It
Gold only has value because someone decided that it does. We are the ones who attach value to things. Anything that makes my life more difficult is not of high value.
.

So what you are saying is that as the source of value, you can project it onto objects.

So then why not project a super hottie 10 value onto a fattie who others might objectively think a 3?

The reality is we recognize value. It exists outside ourselves, and is what we strive for.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

I
Using an outside perspective... it's amazing how fast interest level can change over night when interest level drops off. It could be something you did or said or didn't do and didn't say. The speed of escalation in seduction (too fast/too slow).
.

There seems to be a 'sweet spot'... not too hot... not too cold... just right. But this sweet spot is different for each woman.

Hi ho... hi ho... off to work we go Forget Snow White and think Goldilocks and the 3 bears.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

At the risk of sounding nostalgic, I agree completely. There was a time when girls I would date had my interests at heart as well as their own. staying in long term relationships was easier because people were looking for long term and prepared to work for it. Now it's cut and run, and while we could be accused of doing the same thing, I look at it more as adapting to the playing field of the current times, disappointing as they can be. To date like it's 1990 in 2017 is just to be a complete putz.

The music industry didn't adapt to the trends in digital file sharing in the late 90s / early 2000s, and lost market share because they romanticised The Way It Used To Be and the way it 'should' be. Men have had to adapt to how relationships work these days, even if it was better in the past.

Everything else is fast moving in life, so why not the turnover of relationships? They seem to go hand in hand.

This does not bode well for the future then. It looks like a vicious downward cycle... or the escalation of a 'sex' race.