Is It Time To Drop This Plate? 3 flakes

[soulforge]

Respectfully, I have to disagree with this.

This I agree with... playing the whole, It doesn't bother me... look how strong I am, I am not even slightly butt hurt..

this attitude, is more than likely giving her the impression, flaking is something acceptable by me..

there are no consequences and I will just rearrange

The first time she flaked, sure, this nonchalant, cool even flow kind of response is fine. However, at this point, any response along this line is essentially saying you're OK with this behavior and that it doesn't bother you. She will keep flaking on him because such a nonchalant reaction is telling her there are zero consequences for such behavior. She will not worry in the least on flaking yet once again.


@soulforge

Going NC is also just prolonging the inevitable loss of interest/effort for both of you. How many times will you cancel on each other before one of you just decides "F*ck this. I'm wasting my time."?

Stop with the games. Stop trying so hard not to look butt-hurt over something that is obviously unacceptable to you. The best way not to look twisted over this is to draw the line, forcing this to either progress or just end....showing you're cool with either outcome.

Respectfully, I have to disagree with this.

The first time she flaked, sure, this nonchalant, cool even flow kind of response is fine. However, at this point, any response along this line is essentially saying you're OK with this behavior and that it doesn't bother you. She will keep flaking on him because such a nonchalant reaction is telling her there are zero consequences for such behavior. She will not worry in the least on flaking yet once again.


@soulforge

Going NC is also just prolonging the inevitable loss of interest/effort for both of you. How many times will you cancel on each other before one of you just decides "F*ck this. I'm wasting my time."?

Stop with the games. Stop trying so hard not to look butt-hurt over something that is obviously unacceptable to you. The best way not to look twisted over this is to draw the line, forcing this to either progress or just end....showing you're cool with either outcome.

This I agree with... playing the whole, It doesn't bother me... look how strong I am, I am not even slightly butt hurt..

this attitude, is more than likely giving her the impression, flaking is something acceptable by me..

there are no consequences and I will just rearrange for another day...

sometimes I think chit needs to be said, and the games have to stop

 

[soulforge]

Do not reply. Ghost her and feel liberated. I can tell by your earlier posts and the content of your posts that you are obsessed with his girl. You can call her a "plate" or a "slvt" but this girl is STUCK in your mind.

More than anything that's the reason why you need to stop messaging her. You care too much and you are doing/saying things that go against your instinct or what you want. You can recover from going silent if you actually care about her. The push pull game you are trying to play is not working and will only make things worse.

SILENCE.

what bothers me, is the flakin man.. I don't care if I only see her once a month..

what fuks me off is, when we arrange a date, she bails out last minute.

it's just a matter of respect

 

[Glassguy]

well I did message and told her will leave it this weekend.

she then turned around with...

"I was about to message you to say, that I can meet you after all... it's ok if you can't meet though"

I don't buy this.. sounds like BS to me.. this girl was going to flake.. she was probably setting up something else, and if that did not plan out, then maybe she would have met me..

either way, she put doubt on our date, for the 3rd time in a row, that is enough for me to realise, that she is not at all reliable

@soulforge

This is what you get from texting her back in the first place. She wasnt "about to message you" and if you came back and said "great, see you at ___pm" she would have came up with some excuse between now and then and flaked.

This is why you DO NOT keep texting (chasing) a chick who is not showing high interest. You basically just handed control back to her (again) because for some reason you feel like you have to "get the last word in" or "prove your point".

What point are you trying to prove? She has proven to you through her actions that she is a flake. Ok......Next her and dont respond anymore.

Put fvcking gloves on or tape all of your fingers together, what ever it takes to stop sending this chick messages.

Go ghost, and even if she reaches out later on, stay ghost!

Dont b!tch about something that you keep allowing to happen. C'mon man.....you know this sh!t already!

 

[soulforge]

@soulforge

This is what you get from texting her back in the first place. She wasnt "about to message you" and if you came back and said "great, see you at ___pm" she would have came up with some excuse between now and then and flaked.

This is why you DO NOT keep texting (chasing) a chick who is not showing high interest. You basically just handed control back to her (again) because for some reason you feel like you have to "get the last word in" or "prove your point".

What point are you trying to prove? She has proven to you through her actions that she is a flake. Ok......Next her and dont respond anymore.

Put fvcking gloves on or tape all of your fingers together, what ever it takes to stop sending this chick messages.

Go ghost, and even if she reaches out later on, stay ghost!

Dont b!tch about something that you keep allowing to happen. C'mon man.....you know this sh!t already!

no man the only reason why I messaged her, was just to let her know, that I cannot meet her now.

just in case, she was actually telling the truth, and came back with yes lets meet up..

the fact that she put doubt on the 3rd date, was enough for me to cancel plans with her..

it's just a matter of principal...

I know for a FACT she will continue texting, trying to keep me hooked in..

but I am staying ghost.. unless she is pleading for my dik lol

 

[stovepipe]

well I did message and told her will leave it this weekend.

she then turned around with...

"I was about to message you to say, that I can meet you after all... it's ok if you can't meet though"

I don't buy this.. sounds like BS to me.. this girl was going to flake.. she was probably setting up something else, and if that did not plan out, then maybe she would have met me..

After being with a BPD for 2 years, I can now smell manipulation right away. She was never going to meet you. She is just trying to fuk with your head. Wouldn't be surprised if shes doing all this flaking to punish you for not giving her what she wants, a relationship! She oozes toxic bro, stay away or prepare to enter the twilight zone.

 

[soulforge]

After being with a BPD for 2 years, I can now smell manipulation right away. She was never going to meet you. She is just trying to fuk with your head. Wouldn't be surprised if shes doing all this falking to punish you for not giving her want she wants, a relationship! She oozes toxic bro, stay away or prepare to enter the twilight zone.

you are spot on man... all these games, attitude, pulling back on the sex talk..

the root of this is, me not willing to rush into a relationship with her..

or kissing her ass... this why she is pulling away..

nothing about her behaviour wants me to give her RS status.. she is doing herself a big disservice

when girls have other diks as options, this is how they carry on

 

[Glassguy]

Justify it all you want, gain your self respect man and stop messaging her. Period.

I dont care if she texts you and wants to fvck all night. I would not respond. Ever. Way too many red flags here.

 

[stovepipe]

you are spot on man... all these games, attitude, pulling back on the sex talk..

the root of this is, me not willing to rush into a relationship with her..

or kissing her ass... this why she is pulling away..

nothing about her behaviour wants me to give her RS status.. she is doing herself a big disservice

when girls have other diks as options, this is how they carry on

She is doing what my BPD sloot ex did, using sex to try and trap you into a relationship. She knows her pu$$y is as good as bacon and feels entitled to get what she wants, if shes doesn't, well someones gotta pay. And that my friend is you. She will play these mind games to not only screw with you physiologically, but to make you feel guilty in hopes you come around.

Knowing what I know after being destroyed, and as tempting as good pu$$y is, I'd delete and block this bich from your life. Being an empath I can feel how deep down you are a good man, a little weak and confused, which makes you a prime target for these kind of crazy biches. Think with your brain on this one, not your chorizo.

 

[dude99]

you are spot on man... all these games, attitude, pulling back on the sex talk..

the root of this is, me not willing to rush into a relationship with her..

or kissing her ass... this why she is pulling away..

nothing about her behaviour wants me to give her RS status.. she is doing herself a big disservice

when girls have other diks as options, this is how they carry on

When they don't get their way and start to pull away, let go and wave goodbye.

Like i said in a post on another board, do not commit to any woman who hasn't shown over a years worth of consistant high quality behaviour. If they swing away when they don't get their way, good riddance

On to the next plate.

 

[dude99]

I'm not saying he should NEXT her. I'm saying he needs to let her know that it's time for her to either follow through or lose out completely. Anything in between gives her control of the frame. Going NC with a woman who holds the frame is like withholding food from someone who isn't particularly hungry.

"Oh! You're going to keep flaking on me over and over?! Fine! I'm going to pretend I don't care, keep hanging around and just try again later! Take THAT!!!"

WTF is that going to do? You might as well either NEXT her or call her out on this sh*t. Anything else is too weak, IMO.

I guess what i am sayi g from my view point is i have nexted her.

 

[BeExcellent]

what bothers me, is the flakin man.. I don't care if I only see her once a month..

what fuks me off is, when we arrange a date, she bails out last minute.

it's just a matter of respect

It's a matter of respect for her too. As I stated on the other thread she realizes you just want her for sex and don't value her beyond that. As a result your plate is breaking. You are judgemental and don't respect her. Why on Earth should she then respect you? Serious question.

I can understand why you believe as you do about her. But nevertheless it makes perfect sense that she is flaking. Being around you simply makes her feel bad about herself, so she is distancing herself from you to see if you'll confirm that she has value beyond sex. You don't value her beyond sex, so you won't offer her that confirmation, and so she is pulling away. It's pretty simple really.

I get you don't want to make the effort to reassure this woman. So plates break.

Find another plate.

 

[soulforge]

It's a matter of respect for her too. As I stated on the other thread she realizes you just want her for sex and don't value her beyond that. As a result your plate is breaking. You are judgemental and don't respect her. Why on Earth should she then respect you? Serious question.

I can understand why you believe as you do about her. But nevertheless it makes perfect sense that she is flaking. Being around you simply makes her feel bad about herself, so she is distancing herself from you to see if you'll confirm that she has value beyond sex. You don't value her beyond sex, so you won't offer her that confirmation, and so she is pulling away. It's pretty simple really.

I get you don't want to make the effort to reassure this woman. So plates break.

Find another plate.

Be excellent you are completely wrong about this... off course when me and her met, the whole thing started off sexual..

She was happy to do 3sums, but then changed her mind.. her feelings for me have gradually changed over some time.. she has developed feelings for me

That does not mean I should jump head first into a relationship with her...

Am i just fuking her, then kicking her out of the door? No

Am I treating her like chit, ignoring her text msgs? No

Infact I have treated her quite well... I have taken her out for meals.. and nights out.. even helped her with a problem with her vehicle..

I just don't want to jump into a relationship with a girl, who is not proving herself.. i am cautious!

Flaking on me 3 times is not proving herself...

Sending me a meme that sounded pretty much like an ultimatum, after only seeing each other for 2 months, is not proving herself..

Using sex as a weapon because I am not ready to get all lovey dovey with her right now, is not proving herself..

It shows manipulation!

I would have considered opening up a little more to her, but my gut instinct is telling me otherwise.

I have been burnt before, so girls don't come into my life easy anymore.

 

[finality]

Text her that you want to marry her and then don't respond. Pattern interrupt.

 

[soulforge]

Text her that you want to marry her and then don't respond. Pattern interrupt.

Ok your invited finality lol

 

[darksprezzatura]

Do you realise that by creating this thread and making lengthy posts, you are investing more in this woman and as a result getting more attached?

I bet heavy that you have oneitis mate.
Go NC, quit posting about her and imagine her taking a dump every time you miss her.

Works like a charm, trust me on this.

 

[soulforge]

Do you realise that by creating this thread and making lengthy posts, you are investing more in this woman and as a result getting more attached?

I bet heavy that you have oneitis mate.
Go NC, quit posting about her and imagine her taking a dump every time you miss her.

Works like a charm, trust me on this.

No no man.. seriously i don't care if I don't speak to her again.. I certainly do NOT have oneitis for her..

The only time I have posted about her, is when she flaked..

It's nothing to do with feels, i just don't want a plate getting the impression she can take the pizz when ever she pleases

 

[BeExcellent]

I'm not saying to get in a RS with her at all @soulforge and I know it all started inherently sexual.

She thought she could hook you with great sex & being up for whatever, no question about that.

She made a tactical error (for lack of a better way to put it) by accepting a purely sexual interaction and she wants more now.

Her tactical error is not your problem.

You need to quit texting and have an actual conversation. The purpose of my post both here & in the other thread was to offer insight as to why her behavior might be as it is...not to advocate for any particular outcome.

I agree with @Amante Silvestre that you might do well to sit down & explain the landscape. Set your boundaries in a direct way. She either stays or goes at that point.

Tough to have it both ways.

 

[soulforge]

I'm not saying to get in a RS with her at all @soulforge and I know it all started inherently sexual.

She thought she could hook you with great sex & being up for whatever, no question about that.

She made a tactical error (for lack of a better way to put it) by accepting a purely sexual interaction and she wants more now.

Her tactical error is not your problem.

You need to quit texting and have an actual conversation. The purpose of my post both here & in the other thread was to offer insight as to why her behavior might be as it is...not to advocate for any particular outcome.

I agree with @Amante Silvestre that you might do well to sit down & explain the landscape. Set your boundaries in a direct way. She either stays or goes at that point.

Tough to have it both ways.

Well you may have a point here, but already I feel she is not RS worthy... so other than sex, i have no use for her.

Would I really have to explain to a RS worthy girl, that Flaking 3 times is not a smart thing to do? No

RS worthy girl uses more common sense than that

 

[sazc]

Time to go NC & give no fvcks.
No point in telling her you feel disrespected. People don't change, even with feedback.

Even with plates, you still need to find a compatible one

 

[soulforge]

Time to go NC & give no fvcks.
No point in telling her you feel disrespected. People don't change, even with feedback.

Even with plates, you still need to find a compatible one

The thing is tho... she put a doubt on the date, but she didn't completely flake... she said she may have to work, but she will let me know, if she can get out of it.

Gut instinct told me, she was going to flake... when I text her called Saturday off, she then claimed she could met me..

So it wasn't a full on flake, but i,m certain it would have been!


She been texting and ringing me now, i just ignored