girls are fu**ed seriously....

[evil_tomato]

Was seeing a woman 10 yrs older then me, im 29 and shes 39 and has a couple of teenage kids. We met through work conferences and immediatley clicked. We were both instantly attracted to each other, shared loads in common and had an amazing connection (or so i thought). We were seeing each other for about 5 months, and i thought everything was going great. We were both looking to eventually be in relationships but she wanted to take it slow as she had been hurt by guys in the past and didnt want to rush in to anything so i guess we were never "official''. I wasnt in a rush to be in a relationship and was content being friends and going with the flow.

We were speaking on the phone earlier and she comes out and tells me that she prefers to be single and doesnt want a relationship anymore and enjoys her independence. She says she really likes me and thinks i deserve someone who can give me their all and that she cant give me that and doesnt see a future between us. I dont know if she's being legit about her reasons or shes just changed her mind about me, i have no idea? Its come as bit of a shock and i wont lie, im a bit cut up by it. I actually really liked her and as much as i hate to say it, i was starting to gain strong feelings for her. I really thought for once i may have actually found a winner...HA! Once again this all just proves why i shouldnt even bother with women. I guess shes another one to add to my already long list of girls who weren't "feeling it" for me. I dont think im ever meant to be in a relationship. Ive only had a couple of short term relationships in my life that went nowhere and everytime i think i may have found someone good,this sh1t happens. Totally over it. And to be honest its this kinda crap that makes you not want to bother going through the whole dating process and getting to know them.

The worst thing is, i have tickets to a party i was meant to be going with her to next weekend and now im having second thoughts about going. I only really got them so i could have "fun" with her but clearly that wont be happening now so i dont even know if i want to go. I'm thinking about ghosting her completely, she said she wants to still be friends but i dont know if its a good idea? I really dont know what to do and could use some good advice!! Please help!

 

[El Payaso]

Accept her request to break things off, wish her the best and delete her from your life.

Don't accept her request to remain friends.

 

[lizardking82]

1) Strong feelings for a 39 year old woman with two kids who's "been hurt before so she wants to take it slow"? That's a no-no.

2) Save all the bull**** "you deserve someone better, I wanna be single". She doesn't wanna see YOU anymore and no wonder she "wants" to be single, she's 39 and with bagagge and no options around her probably LOL so she kinda has to be single.

3) No party. No friends. **** her off your life. You had the fun, now move on.

 

[Initiatedindenial]

1) Let her go. She is just not that much into you.
2) The friends proposal is her trying to assuage the blow for you. This only works for the person who is no longer emotionally involved. Guess who that is.
3) You can do better.
4) Invite somebody else to the party even just a friend, go and have fun regardless.

 

[soulforge]

Ghost her man.. don't take her pathetic offering of bread crumbs in the form of friendship.

When a girl wants out.. disappear completely!

 

[bigneil]

Dude, why are you dating women who are 39 with kids when you are 29??

You are desperate, that's why.

You should be dating 18 year old women. I'm 47 and I want to date 18 year old women.

 

[bigneil]

Was seeing a woman 10 yrs older then me, im 29 and shes 39 and has a couple of teenage kids. We met through work conferences and immediatley clicked. We were both instantly attracted to each other, shared loads in common and had an amazing connection (or so i thought). We were seeing each other for about 5 months, and i thought everything was going great. We were both looking to eventually be in relationships but she wanted to take it slow as she had been hurt by guys in the past and didnt want to rush in to anything so i guess we were never "official''. I wasnt in a rush to be in a relationship and was content being friends and going with the flow.

We were speaking on the phone earlier and she comes out and tells me that she prefers to be single and doesnt want a relationship anymore and enjoys her independence. She Please help!

• Wait, did OP even have sex with her??
• Why the loser attitude of nobody loves me? Why not hit the gym? You're in your f*cking prime.
• Why not take another girl?
• Men, we are only as good as our backup girl.

 

[lizardking82]

• Wait, did OP even have sex with her??
• Why the lose attitude of nobody loves me? Why not hit the gym? You're in your f*cking prime.
• Why not take another girl?
• Men, we are only as good as our backup girl.

Neil, common man. Sometimes you talk like your backup girl is the only thing that measures your value in the world. They are just additives at best, man. Additives. Every man here should strive to be high value on his own as a man. Women do not elevate your value, if anything, most of them take it down some notches.

 

[evil_tomato]

No I forgot to mention we never had sex. We fooled around and kissed/made out but never slept together....as I said she wanted to take things slow and said she didn't have a high sex drive like she once did.....I didn't want to come off as a pushy guy whose only after one thing. I genuinely did have feelings for her so I respected her decision to wait untill she was ready....bad move I know.

I've always found older women more attractive I don't know why. I like younger girls too but they are only good for one thing. But after this whole fiasco I'm determined to never bother with girls again. 11 years of dating and failing along with heartbreak just doesn't make the pay off worth it. Whenever you think you may have found a decent one, they go and sh1t on you like that.

 

[bigneil]

evil_tomato, you need to focus on younger women.

The last time I saw my last girlfriend, one of the last things I said to her was "Did you just come?" and she said "Like three times!" I walked her to her car. She sent a sparkly heart. I got the usual love letters and plan making for the next week, then poof - never saw her again. Now nearly 9 weeks. I never did anything wrong either.

So these days, even if they love you for nearly a year, meet your parents, come 50 times, and f*cked you the last time you saw her, they still will disappear overnight without warning.

But if you haven't even f*cked her? Put that in perspective.

Neil, common man. Sometimes you talk like your backup girl is the only thing that measures your value in the world. They are just additives at best, man. Additives. Every man here should strive to be high value on his own as a man. Women do not elevate your value, if anything, most of them take it down some notches.

My point is, we might get a girl who we really love, but if we don't have any other women even close to her, who would treat us the way she did, we are in a precarious position.

However, when you have two girls who both love you, you will choose the one who loves you the most, a self correcting situation.

Now, the way to get two or more girls to love you is to strive to be high value on our own as men.

 

[3agle 3yes]

...We were both looking to eventually be in relationships but she wanted to take it slow as she had been hurt by guys in the past and didnt want to rush in to anything so i guess we were never "official''. I wasnt in a rush to be in a relationship and was content being friends and going with the flow...

I was going to post this in another thread, but I might as well post it here because this applies to guys in this forum who complain that their relationships are too short.

Here's my advice:

1. When it comes to relationships, get into them very slowly and leave them fast.

But more importantly...

2. Don't get into a relationship in the first place. Hang out with women, bang them exclusively even but don't give them the impression (let alone tell them) that you're in relationship, even if she's the only person you're seeing.

For most guys, when they're in a relationship their spark disappears. They stop doing what works and start acting like their girls are their best friends. They start getting into disputes about the smallest bs and they start relying on women for other things.

Guys, don't let this happen.

 

[AJ84]

I was going to post this in another thread, but I might as well post it here because this applies to guys in this forum who complain that their relationships are too short.

Here's my advice:

1. When it comes to relationships, get into them very slowly and leave them fast.

But more importantly...

2. Don't get into a relationship in the first place. Hang out with women, bang them exclusively even but don't give them the impression (let alone tell them) that you're in relationship, even if she's the only person you're seeing.

For most guys, when they're in a relationship their spark disappears. They stop doing what works and start acting like their girls are their best friends. They start getting into disputes about the smallest bs and they start relying on women for other things.

Guys, don't let this happen.

A woman will think it's a relationship if the man is only seeing and sleeping with her. Exclusivity is the foundation of a relationship. If a man doesn't want a woman to think it's a relationship, then he should be seeking to date and/ or actively dating other women and she should know that.

 

[3agle 3yes]

If a man doesn't want a woman to think it's a relationship, then he should be seeking to date and/ or actively dating other women and she should know that.

Actually no.

A relationship is a mindset and is based on expectations, you're obliged to do certain things when you're in a relationship.

You can see and bang one girl and not be in relationship. As I said earlier, relationships come with expectations, one of the biggest ones is that you're not allowed to get involved sexually with someone else. But it is not the only one.

In simple terms not banging anyone else (why would you tell her this anyway? Why is it her business?) doesn't mean you're exclusive, being exclusive means you've made the decision not to see anyone else.

 

[SuckItUp]

No I forgot to mention we never had sex. We fooled around and kissed/made out but never slept together....as I said she wanted to take things slow and said she didn't have a high sex drive like she once did.....I didn't want to come off as a pushy guy whose only after one thing. I genuinely did have feelings for her so I respected her decision to wait untill she was ready....bad move I know.

I've always found older women more attractive I don't know why. I like younger girls too but they are only good for one thing. But after this whole fiasco I'm determined to never bother with girls again. 11 years of dating and failing along with heartbreak just doesn't make the pay off worth it. Whenever you think you may have found a decent one, they go and sh1t on you like that.

This woman did you a massive favor. No sex, and you dated for 5 months?!? You should take this time to reflect why you are chasing a woman 10 years your senior with 2 kids and not having sex with her. There's no reason for getting angry at her for being honest. You were wasting time on a dead end and you should be pointing your anger at yourself.

 

[dude99]

Was seeing a woman 10 yrs older then me, im 29 and shes 39 and has a couple of teenage kids. We met through work conferences and immediatley clicked. We were both instantly attracted to each other, shared loads in common and had an amazing connection (or so i thought). We were seeing each other for about 5 months, and i thought everything was going great. We were both looking to eventually be in relationships but she wanted to take it slow as she had been hurt by guys in the past and didnt want to rush in to anything so i guess we were never "official''. I wasnt in a rush to be in a relationship and was content being friends and going with the flow.

We were speaking on the phone earlier and she comes out and tells me that she prefers to be single and doesnt want a relationship anymore and enjoys her independence. She says she really likes me and thinks i deserve someone who can give me their all and that she cant give me that and doesnt see a future between us. I dont know if she's being legit about her reasons or shes just changed her mind about me, i have no idea? Its come as bit of a shock and i wont lie, im a bit cut up by it. I actually really liked her and as much as i hate to say it, i was starting to gain strong feelings for her. I really thought for once i may have actually found a winner...HA! Once again this all just proves why i shouldnt even bother with women. I guess shes another one to add to my already long list of girls who weren't "feeling it" for me. I dont think im ever meant to be in a relationship. Ive only had a couple of short term relationships in my life that went nowhere and everytime i think i may have found someone good,this sh1t happens. Totally over it. And to be honest its this kinda crap that makes you not want to bother going through the whole dating process and getting to know them.

The worst thing is, i have tickets to a party i was meant to be going with her to next weekend and now im having second thoughts about going. I only really got them so i could have "fun" with her but clearly that wont be happening now so i dont even know if i want to go. I'm thinking about ghosting her completely, she said she wants to still be friends but i dont know if its a good idea? I really dont know what to do and could use some good advice!! Please help!

Dude anytime a woman says "i got hurt in the past and i want to take it slow," is her way of saying, "I'll have fun with you AT THIS MOMENT, but i am leavinng the door open to exit things WHEN A BETTER OPTION COME ALONG."

Don't buy the bridge. Her "I've been hurt before," is her saying i didn't get my way.

When she said i Don't see a future for us , yiu should agee and tell her it had been bothering you too the fact that she was much older and you still have so much more to do in life. Tell her you agree. Cut all contact.

When she reaches out again in a month or so do not reply/answer or engage. Move on

when the girl says "i want to take it slow/im in no hurry," what she is actually saying to you is "what other options are out there."

Next.

 

[dude99]

No I forgot to mention we never had sex. We fooled around and kissed/made out but never slept together....as I said she wanted to take things slow and said she didn't have a high sex drive like she once did.....I didn't want to come off as a pushy guy whose only after one thing. I genuinely did have feelings for her so I respected her decision to wait untill she was ready....bad move I know.

I've always found older women more attractive I don't know why. I like younger girls too but they are only good for one thing. But after this whole fiasco I'm determined to never bother with girls again. 11 years of dating and failing along with heartbreak just doesn't make the pay off worth it. Whenever you think you may have found a decent one, they go and sh1t on you like that.

There is taking things "slow" and then there is stuck in park.

5 months and you never had sex? She never liked you to begin with. She was just waiting for the next dude to come along

 

[pyros]

5 months without sex?
a woman 10 years OLDER than you? with two kids??
is this some kind of joke?

maybe she has some problems down there, or maybe she just wasnt that much into you.

Anyway, you should do better man.

 

[AJ84]

Actually no.

A relationship is a mindset and is based on expectations, you're obliged to do certain things when you're in a relationship.

You can see and bang one girl and not be in relationship. As I said earlier, relationships come with expectations, one of the biggest ones is that you're not allowed to get involved sexually with someone else. But it is not the only one.

In simple terms not banging anyone else (why would you tell her this anyway? Why is it her business?) doesn't mean you're exclusive, being exclusive means you've made the decision not to see anyone else.

Let me clarify. Usually, a woman will assume that if a man is only seeing and sleeping with her that it's a relationship or moving in that direction if the man doesn't tell her that it's not exclusive. You guys talk about the hamster wheel spinning, this would be that.

You're right, there are other things that define a relationship and some people have open ones etc.
By 'relationship' I'm referring to the common, one man one woman sexual exclusivity relationship. By not telling her that it's not exclusive, she will likely assume it is and have expectations based on that.

I mean in general, this is where a woman's mind is going to go when she's the only one he's seeing and he hasn't defined where she stands with him. Hamster wheel spinning right?

And you should tell a woman that you're sleeping with other people. Wouldn't you want to know if she was sleeping with other guys?

As an aside: Be honest with women on where they stand with you if you have no intention of an exclusive LTR with them.
That way, any emotional investment they make that's not reciprocated is on them, not you. Don't be a coward and lead a woman on pretending that she's the only one, then complain and call her emotionally unstable b**tches be crazy etc etc when she discovers your bs and rightfully gets upset, that's on you.

Men rightlyfully hate when women lead them on, pull bs on them and mess around with other guys behind their back, right? So flip the coin and see if from another perspective.

 

[evil_tomato]

To be honest I actually was really attracted to her personality and character, she was a pretty cool chick and she looked good for her age. But she got badly hurt in her past with relationships and enjoys being single. Yet when we first started talking she was all over me and was open to a relationship and now this...i would be sad to lose her completely from my life as she was great company but it's pointless to stick around to.

 

[bigneil]

Dude, why are you dating women who are 39 with kids when you are 29??

You should be dating 18 year old women. I'm 47 and I want to date 18 year old women.

Indeed the reason many men at 29 feel too old for 18 year old women is because of 29 year old women who at that age conveniently decide (after parading around with sugar daddies for 12 years) that they want men their age (when men their age are their hottest). They will then demonize the man to no end. Single moms will try to raise daughters to date men their age, so some women hate the idea.

Remember: women can NEVER give independent advice to a man. Not your mom, not your sister, not sazc. They mean well, but the ONLY thing they can do is essentially pure non-empathy - pure apathy toward the issue the man wants information about . When giving advice, women simply think "What possible answer is best for me personally?" and then they will spew out some projection of a perverted fantasy (leaking little bits of truth) into their "advice".