Formatted Sex

[Fruitbat]

So, laid the girl I like last night.

Sex was a drunken affair and I've never had a woman so un-sexual.

She basically seemed to like only missionary/on top. Any creativity or passion she seemed to get upset and only wanted the most boring sex. No oral, just in and go. Any new position she literally seemed confused and scared....

I genuinely got a bit bored and lost it. We then had mild argument and I made it clear I cannot have non-passionate sex in this way, I need freedom and creativity....I said she's inexperienced.

She was very nice in the morning and hinted that she may be "better" as she knows me better.

I wonder if she will see this as my issue as hers. On her behaviour todsy it feels like she is feeling more insecure than me....she wanted to stay around all day....but again rejected me touching her pvssy and kind of said I am V strong.

I think she goes for geeks and hasn't had a dominant man in bed. I can't have sex without being dominant and taking the intiative and being passionate. I can't just ride for 20 mins in one position.

Anyone relate to this or had these type of girls? I just felt she has a specific way she fvcks and freaks out about anything "dirty".

Or is this female game? is she holding it back? Weird in any case. A dodgy first time might be an issue.

 

[Thorninmyside]

I was with one who sounds just like her, boring star fish with emotional issues and fears of letting loose or trusting someone else to lead. It got better but ultimately never amazing. We did it her way a few times, then I'd progress to putting my hand under her and giving her an ass fingering while pounding the vag, to putting a pillow under her so I could fold her legs up accordion style and pound on my knees, to flipping her over when I felt like it. It was baby steps and that was a pain in the butt, and it always felt like I had to be cerebral about sex which is a vibe killer.

 

[Fruitbat]

I was with one who sounds just like her, boring star fish with emotional issues and fears of letting loose or trusting someone else to lead. It got better but ultimately never amazing. We did it her way a few times, then I'd progress to putting my hand under her and giving her an ass fingering while pounding the vag, to putting a pillow under her so I could fold her legs up accordion style and pound on my knees, to flipping her over when I felt like it. It was baby steps and that was a pain in the butt, and it always felt like I had to be cerebral about sex which is a vibe killer.

Cerebral - that is the word. She seems to want romantic movie sex. I told her I only have had that with women I deeply love, not 2nd date....

If I wasn't so drunk I could have finished off but I do remember saying some pretty negative things to her after (said it was more like sleeping with an uniinterested escort than a passionate date!!I have always had a hard time coming through regular sex anyways but even harder when she literally says "what are you doing now?" when I try to get her in a position other than miss/girl on top. She was quite hurt so I later just put it down to the drink to help her save a bit of face.


I got a fairly brief text so with the options women have I might just get dropped. Although I have a feeling women will have the hamster running if a man is dissappointed with them in bed and lost interest.....I will leave it a few days and call her, this time for a non-drinking event. She is now becoming a little challenge for me as I don't want to leave it like it is, if it stops now I will beat myself up over it, because sex aside, I really like the girl.

Some girls seem to think anything other than vag sex is some perverted porn thing. She told me shes never let anyone *** in her mouth and said "how would u like it?" I told her I would drink her juices in a cup if it made her ***. She shut up pretty quickly.

 

[Fruitbat]

Also, guys, if anyone can help me how to play this.....if she goes cold, I would usually be more aloof but I think it will die stone dead. I think this girl is not your usual girl and given she has trust issues and isn't open sexually.....I actually feel not being cold emotionally might be better as she seems to want that "connection" thing....she clearly doesn't want an alpha type guy sexually....I just don't want a gap where any emotional connection can drop as all she will remember is failed sex (see, I don't call not cvmming failed sex but she seemed devasted I couldn't just pound vag to cvmming at 2am afer 3 bottles of wine)

I might call her later this week and go with "look, we were both really drunk and not at our best. I know you're not a typical modern girl and you are looking for more than a bit of filthy fun and so am I, I am more interested in all the cool similarities and fun we can have....how about we build on that and have confidence we will find a great sex life once we've built that foundation?"

I think I need to do this rather than just pretend it didn't happen.....this girl is a creative type and I think this is what she wants.

 

[Fruitbat]

Really would like help.....I am not sure if a bad 1st time is the end of the road, but I am more worried that I tore into her a bit after sex for lack of passion and have been drunk most of the time we hung out.....she did say I'm a bit intense and aggressive when drunk which is true....but not being clingy, more just shouting down others points of view and talking too much!

Very hard not to blow it by calling and trying to justify myself. I text her after, she text back....I guess I leave it with her now....if she used the word "intense" then perhaps cooling it is good.....the first time she was closing on 2nd date....last night we didn't discuss this and she hasn't asked for a 3rd date....maybe my turn to pursue a bit.....perhaps she feels like she couldn't turn me on and was hurt and is closing off a bit....yet, she was very loving the next morning, kissing, cuddling and we spent the day together kissing, eating etc....I would assume if she was finished she would have been a bit colder and made an excuse etc. she also questioned me on my life plans the next day and I asked her hers, she repeated what I said. So I don't know where we are, that seemed good to me.

I feel like I just need to set up a 3rd in a couple of days with no booze involved and see what she says.....if she has an excuse I am done.

Whatever the road, I will do nothing for a few days as blowing up her phone now looks like I am the one who is insecure.

 

[Polysix]

Whatever the road, I will do nothing for a few days as blowing up her phone now looks like I am the one who is insecure.

Reading your posts in this thread in fact it looks like you are the one, being insecure.
Dude it´s just sechs, why so serious and so impatient? IMO that are the wrong ingredients for some great sechs and intimacy.
Keep it cool and turn off your EGO a bit.

 

[Fruitbat]

Reading your posts in this thread in fact it looks like you are the one, being insecure.
Dude it´s just sechs, why so serious and so impatient? IMO that are the wrong ingredients for some great sechs and intimacy.
Keep it cool and turn off your EGO a bit.

Dude, I read my posts back and cringe. I usually post on here on a big hangover the morning after when my own hamster is spinning.

My resolution is to contribute more to the forum than just minute detail of relationships.

She has been texting me, and now I have another who is hotter very keen....abundance and plate spinning is everything to dampen it down. However, I like many guys had years of being massively beta. I actually think some of this DJ stuff is working as I am only being needy here, not with the girls anymore.

If you are dating 2 or more women, you stop caring. Just having one is the issue. So I ams spinning whatever comes along until a plate wants "the talk".Until then we are all just options and possibilities.

As I age, I am less obsessed with the act of sex and enjoy the game as much....the company. I am treating women more like friends than I used to and they see a man who just wants good company than some horny dude. It;s so odd when you stop needing the vag....along it comes.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

It does sound like she's on the verge of being a prude. I've been there a couple times. It usually doesn't get any better. Some BROADS are just super akward when it comes to sex. Keep doing what you do but hold back on criticising her verbally. Just let it go, keep it to yourself.

I had this 1 plate, I went to finish on her stomach (pulled condom off) and well I was built up for a few days. It might have got her on her chin maybe her lips but oh man she moved like a freaking ninja. It was like my stuff was acid and it was going to burn her skin-off.
It's not like this was our first go-round ether, plenty of hooking up proir to this. I eventually ended it.

"Any new position she literally seemed confused and scared...."

That sucks and it's a good sign to what you've already stated. Only time will tell if she's able to "losen" up, pun not intended.

Take it easy on the booze man, I just can't b*ng a chick that's sloppy drunk anymore. Major turn-off, that and it dries a broad up.

Cringes:
Goes easy on spending the day together kissing/cuddling.....she questioned you on life plans. Are you serious with this sh*t? People are fvcking weird man.

 

[Fruitbat]

It does sound like she's on the verge of being a prude. I've been there a couple times. It usually doesn't get any better. Some BROADS are just super akward when it comes to sex. Keep doing what you do but hold back on criticising her verbally. Just let it go, keep it to yourself.

I had this 1 plate, I went to finish on her stomach (pulled condom off) and well I was built up for a few days. It might have got her on her chin maybe her lips but oh man she moved like a freaking ninja. It was like my stuff was acid and it was going to burn her skin-off.
It's not like this was our first go-round ether, plenty of hooking up proir to this. I eventually ended it.

"Any new position she literally seemed confused and scared...."

That sucks and it's a good sign to what you've already stated. Only time will tell if she's able to "losen" up, pun not intended.

Take it easy on the booze man, I just can't b*ng a chick that's sloppy drunk anymore. Major turn-off, that and it dries a broad up.

Cringes:
Goes easy on spending the day together kissing/cuddling.....she questioned you on life plans. Are you serious with this sh*t? People are fvcking weird man.

Haha, mate I am not in the game just to just get laid. I have spent a hell of a lot of my life alone, last 4 years mostly alone and I lost a lot of friends because of a nightmare epidisode and I quite like the idea of a steady girlfriend with similar interests.

However,the *** thing I could see her doing Issue is, I have had very open partners so before so this is weird. I would finish off with my old wife by literally fvcking her mouth. When you've done that for almost a decade, it's quite difficult to just plod along in missionary. Also, I think the issue is the girl has to be enthusiastic, that's what is killing it. I told her it feels like she is "letting me do it" rather than joining in.

I tried to put legs on shoulders in missionary and even that wasn't "allowed". That is like my most basic move, and a standard sex repitiore.

The stupid thing is, when I am new to a girl I rely on oral etc as I think full sex is a very deeper thing and I need more stim to *** if I am slightly nervous - especially now that I know she is awkward.

Basically, I will set up a very tame date and explain I think she wasn't ready to have sex and I want her when she is comfortable and ready. I am NOT going to be pushed away and have her freak out again.

So stupid because we could build up via BJ and oral. That's how most of my sexual relationships tend to start off.

Genuinely think she has never, ever had a dominant partner and guys who are just happy with getting something. Perhaps she is actually curious deep down, because I did say I need a rich sexual life. I'm hoping shes just had some weak men and will open up to a man who is confident and can treat a woman how she should be treated in bed. I think also we need to really bond because if it's a difficult 2nd time too soon it will all die.......I really like the girl, I mean really like her, she is incredible, except for in bed. I get the feeling cosmo and fem may have influenced her to see men as a dildo for vaginal pleasure and any man who wants to do anything else has "seen too much porn".....I have had this before. I have also had girls who watch it and love that kind of thing (most)....they don't understand, porn doesn't give men ideas - THEY have ideas that sex is just penis+vagina. It isn't, and porn is just reflecting male sex needs, not implanting ideas. I was into the things in porn long before I saw it, and I barely view it now.