No contact and the NPD strikes in a rage

[exhausted]

Narcissists are machievelian to the extreme, the biggest tyrants in history were narcs, NEVER borderline.

Having been around this my entire life, I can attest to the fa


That is NOT narcissistic personality disorder, unless this is broadened out to the pop psychology catch-all diagnosis.

NPD's hallmarks are:

• An exaggerated sense of one’s own abilities and achievements
• A constant need for attention, affirmation, and praise
• A belief that you are unique or “special,” and should only associate with other people of the same status
• Persistent fantasies about attaining success and power
• Exploiting other people for personal gain
• A sense of entitlement and expectation of special treatment
• A preoccupation with power or success
• Feeling envious of others, or believing that others are envious of you
• A lack of empathy for others

This doesn't sound like her at all, well, not what is presenting here. Borderline, on the other hand:

Fear of abandonment. .Unstable relationships..Unclear or unstable self-image. Extreme emotional swings. Unstable emotions and moods are common with BPD. .Chronic feelings of emptiness. Explosive anger. .Feeling suspicious or out of touch with reality.

There is overlap,but NPD is distinctly different and does not carry anywhere near the emotional instability of borderline.

You don't need all the symptoms, but she seems much more like the 2nd list.

NPDs set up traps for people and smirk as they win their little points. Narcs are one step from psychopaths, they are less impulsive yet share the same lizard-like machievelian attitude.

Cluster b
She is diagnosed by 2 diff psychiatrists/psychologist bipolar pd. But for sure an npd as well. She does lack the arrogance other than that spot on with victim mentality. Raging. Envy. Lacks empathy to a dangerous degree. Among others on the list.
May also very well have borderline as well

 

[Fruitbat]

Other characteristic traits of such narcissists** (and this also applies to the female variety) include:

• Control freaks
• Irritability
• Short fuses
• Low frustration tolerance
• Argumentative
• Need to have the last word
• Unable to lose
• Won’t take “No” for an answer
• Quick to anger if you don’t accommodate them
• Quick to being aggressively defensive if you call them on any deficiency, fault or responsibility
• Can’t apologize or if do, can’t do it sincerely
• Rarely say, “Thank you” or “Congratulations”
• Don’t feel or demonstrate remorse
• Feel entitled to enthusiastic and appreciative approval, adoration, agreement and obedience
• Gloat in victory, sullen in defeat
• Quick to rage if you humiliate them

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/just-listen/201202/rage-coming-soon-narcissist-near-you

There is fvck all in the above about real grandiosity. That is what NPD is about, not emotional instability per se. Where are the points about machievelian manipulation, tricks etc? You've never known a narc until you meet one, then you'll know what I mean.

This is all true of Borderline, histrionic, sociopathic, narc and bipolar and most isn't about NPD, it's general cluster B symptoms from an internet search rather than experience,

Narcs starve animals to death for fun, they abuse children and weaker being for their amusement. They are not just a fairly common bunch of personality disorder symptoms written to get hits for women moaning about their ex husbands.

 

[Fruitbat]

I have a narc parent, I've also dated a narcissist.

Every narc I have met has been cold and calculating, except for when their scheme is exposed. Certainly not a raging torrent of emotion. I've found a pre-occupation with appearance and status to be key, not being emotional.

Perhaps it's a spectrum and it's unwise to stick people in camps.....Hitler tried that and it got him killed in the end.

 

[Fruitbat]

my parent and my ex fit the above descriptions to a T. Its not a borderline push/pull cycle or splitting black and white. Its an ever present anger that explodes irrationally. The Narcissist relationship cycle is like one long BPD mini-cycle.

Definition of narcissism:

narcissism
ˈnɑːsɪsɪz(ə)m,nɑːˈsɪsɪz(ə)m/
noun

1. excessive interest in or admiration of oneself and one's physical appearance.
   • PSYCHOLOGY
     extreme selfishness, with a grandiose view of one's own talents and a craving for admiration, as characterizing a personality type.
   • PSYCHOANALYSIS
     self-centredness arising from failure to distinguish the self from external objects, either in very young babies or as a feature of mental disorder.

I am not convinced and I will always see a preoccupation with self as the defining characteristic.

 

[Fruitbat]

read the literature on narc rage, you'll see

What fuels this is not agreeing and submitt

I think you are more describing antisocial personality disorder.

my parent and my ex fit the above descriptions of narcissism to a T. Its not a borderline push/pull cycle or splitting black and white. Its an ever present anger that explodes irrationally. The Narcissist relationship cycle is like one long BPD mini-cycle, if they "paint you black" that is the end of the relationship, not the precursor to a new cycle.

Actually, I was unaware of the concept of narc rage and thought both were possible BPDs until I learned otherwise. BPD never really fit them but for the rages.

Sociopathy or ASPD is very close, however, they are FAR more impulsive than narcs. However, I would agree that the tricks are a hallmark of ASPD.

They are all pretty edgy.

 

[Fruitbat]

It is possible too that as a BPD yourself you glorify and idealize Narcs. That is a classic pairing, they play off well on each other. Of course compared to you a Narc may seem cool and collected, but to one of us they seem totally unhinged because we dont have as much emotional disregulation for them to prey on(although they can fvck up anyone). For example we would never believe that the NPD seriously thought we were cheating on them in exhausted's example but you might since all sorts of abandonment emotions would be triggered by that. As a neutral third party observer though, you recognize how loony that seems and so it appears to be NOTHING like the effective hell they put you through personally.

Ah, I am quiet borderline, very mild and I am fully aware of what is happening in my emotions most of the time. I have learned lessons and despise narcs with a passion for the way they homed in on me. I have a good career, had LTRs and these days I am stable. It's more like the tail end of having a very unstable childhood. I just worry about abandonment a lot. I've never gone retard other than a minor incident of self harm and substance/impulsivity problems. So, I feel fairly expert on spotting them and am pretty much in control....I am lucky really.

When I see narc elements in people I have a massive urge to beat the **** out of them, but bpd I have sympathy as I know that they will sit alone and cry one day about what a d1ck they've been...however, if you are on the wrong end of a raging non-quiet BPD, you have faced the gates of hell. I am glad mine turned inwards rather than outwards...but the depression that results in is not fun....but I am proud, a BPD who controls has done some serious work....but I was never near diagnosis level, but you know what you are from repeated comparisons and perceptions.

 

[Fruitbat]

I too despise them for the same reason, not just in relationships but in the professional setting.

You will not cure them, you do have a chance with a BPD and some can be very good people.....but I have bias. Better to just be normal.

 

[resilient]

I've never gone retard other than a minor incident of self-harm and substance/impulsivity problems. So, I feel fairly expert on spotting them and am pretty much in control....I am lucky really.

 

[Fruitbat]

I knew you would post that....why can't we just be friendly, I love your posts....but you're a total d1ck....yet, a really good mate....who is evil....want to go for a game of pool......I'd never play pool with you.....why won't anyone play pool with me......

 

[resilient]

Tough medicine is good for the DJ soul, brotha. Manage those emotions, then you master your ship.

 

[MrAddiction]

Guys.
NPD BPD ... Whatever.
It does not really matter. It only will confuse one who is in a situation like exhausted.
Important to know is: this way or that way his ex is unhealthy and one of the Cluster B(itches) - who cares what exact disgnose she has or should have. She displayed inacceptable behaviour like all Cluster B(itches) do. After all the endresult is the same: going no contact - forever!
Realising that was quiet an epipahny for me.

A bytch is a bytch is a bytch ...and will never change.

 

[Fruitbat]

Guys.
NPD BPD ... Whatever.
It does not really matter. It only will confuse one who is in a situation like exhausted.
Important to know is: this way or that way his ex is unhealthy and one of the Cluster B(itches) - who cares what exact disgnose she has or should have. She displayed inacceptable behaviour like all Cluster B(itches) do. After all the endresult is the same: going no contact - forever!
Realising that was quiet an epipahny for me.

A bytch is a bytch is a bytch ...and will never change.

Cluster B often is the result of horrific abuse so compassion can be felt, but bytch behaviour is bytch behaviour and running fast is a wise strategy.

 

[MrAddiction]

Cluster B often is the result of horrific abuse so compassion can be felt, but bytch behaviour is bytch behaviour and running fast is a wise strategy.

Sorry but no compassion for an ex that fcuked one over - for whatever reason.

 

[exhausted]

Other characteristic traits of such narcissists** (and this also applies to the female variety) include:

• Control freaks
• Irritability
• Short fuses
• Low frustration tolerance
• Argumentative
• Need to have the last word
• Unable to lose
• Won’t take “No” for an answer
• Quick to anger if you don’t accommodate them
• Quick to being aggressively defensive if you call them on any deficiency, fault or responsibility
• Can’t apologize or if do, can’t do it sincerely
• Rarely say, “Thank you” or “Congratulations”
• Don’t feel or demonstrate remorse
• Feel entitled to enthusiastic and appreciative approval, adoration, agreement and obedience
• Gloat in victory, sullen in defeat
• Quick to rage if you humiliate them

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/just-listen/201202/rage-coming-soon-narcissist-near-you

Wow she dkes every thing on this list excelt says thanks from time to time. Tho never displays appreciation with actions. All words

 

[MrAddiction]

Wow she dkes every thing on this list excelt says thanks from time to time. Tho never displays appreciation with actions. All words

Mine once said to me that she would not have to say thank you because I were her boyfriend!

How much can you take one for granted?

 

[Billtx49]

Sorry but no compassion for an ex that fcuked one over - for whatever reason.

Understand your point, but the day you feel empathy and compassion for a seriously ill woman and the unnormal life she will have to live, is the day you know you are safely on the other side and completely past the unfortunate encounter you had with her.

 

[MrAddiction]

Understand your point, but the day you feel empathy and compassion for these seriously ill women and the unnormal life they will have to live, is the day you know you are safely on the other side and completely past the encounter you had with her.

Knowing you have been there I will have that in the back of my mind. But at the moment - it is a year the relationship ended - I'm still far from that.
It is easy for her to find another willing victim all the time I think. Like she easily found a replacement for me. So I do not see her suffer any consequences nor leading a miserable life.

 

[Billtx49]

But at the moment - it is a year the relationship ended - I'm still far from that.

Yes, It takes a longer than normal time to heal from one of these women. Probably because of the emotional and psychological damage they do to you.

 

[Fruitbat]

Understand your point, but the day you feel empathy and compassion for a seriously ill woman and the unnormal life she will have to live, is the day you know you are safely on the other side and completely past the unfortunate encounter you had with her.

This. True detachment. If the others want to feel good about their ex NPD/BPD etc....just picture her as a little girl with her mother beating her with a stick, or words,or a trusted family man raping her.....cluster B does not fall out of the sky. It's a cycle of ****. Like the human centipede.

This doesn't mean you have to tolerate anything.

The reason I hate narcs and have some sympathy for BPD is that in that stage,the stage where she had no control and had that control abused.....a BPD turned that fear inward, a narc decided to hate all others and elevate themselves for their own protection. Either way it's a horrible life.

 

[Fruitbat]

Can I also add that I have read anti-dump and it is the holy grail for avoiding cluster B. Anti-dump is a mindset. It's not PUA, it's no BS. Pook is great reading but anti-dump is the greatest work of male literature.