The Next Chapter - Life

[BeTheChange]

I got the number of a hot Spanish girl the day I did those cold approaches. It came to nothing but it was great to get a result.

I just got caught slipping HARD! I was in bed with one of my main plates and I get a pop up on WhatsApp from another girl. Normally I mute chats to avoid this scenario occurring, but completely forgot because this particular plate doesn't even live in my city and wasn't planning to visit until mid December.

My main plate just turned over and said "don't touch me". Bit of a tricky one since she half expects I'm not seeing other girls...be interesting to see her response in the morning.

On a positive note salsa is going well again and the paperwork for my investment property came through so I now own a residential for rent. First of (hopefully) eight purchases over the next two years. Onwards!

 

[BeTheChange]

Resolved the above issue with one of my plates pretty quickly. I let her vent and then told her what she wanted to hear. I knew she just wanted to hear those sweet words because she didn't immediately block me when she walked out in the morning. I told her these girls were just "randoms" but she was the one I was thinking more seriously about. The reality was very different.

We came back to my place and spent the whole day in bed. Had to put in that work between the sheets after my slip up.

Once she left I got chatting to this HB7 I'd met on tinder. First date is tonight. She had a face shot so I told her to send me a few pics to confirm I wasn't being catfished. At first she sent a few standard insta gram shots and I responded by telling her I wanted to see her full body. She asked if I meant nudes, so I said whatever you want and sent her a pic of me chilling in bed (shirtless with pj bottoms on and half of my face out of the camera) as guidance. She then told me i had a great body and proceeded to send me a barrage of nude shots - tits out, playing with her pvssy with a dildo, etc. Even one where she is wearing one of those leather outfits with holes for the tits to come out! She has a fair few tattoos including a massive one across her chest and just above her massive b00bs. Safe to say tonight is going to be a wild one if things go ideally!

Another date for Thursday. She's a violinist. This one is a HB9. Girlfriend material but a bit older than ideal at 29. Met through tinder. Told her we should grab a drink some time and she responded with "Maybe". I told her "There is no maybe. Either you're keen or you're not." She told me she liked the assertiveness and gave out her number real quick after that. She wanted to meet Thursday but I told her Salsa was sacred so we are meeting a few hours beforehand. If the date is going well I'll bring her along.

Had a date with a Polish chick I day gamed on Friday. Low cost bar drinks. Nothing concrete materialised. Went for the kiss twice and she curved me with a smile. Gave it 3 days (largely because I forgot) and text her. She's receptive. If I don't get atleast a kiss on the next date I'm dropping her.

Italiana is back in my life. Grew bored with her and didn't want a distraction during my job hunt. Messaged her yesterday and she is keen on meeting. I've already fvcked this one so it's a virtual certainty she'll be back in the rotation.

The sporty HB7/8 I fvcked from the other day (best body I've personally banged but average face thus the low rating) flaked. Looking like I've definitely been used for a ONS! Still worth pursuing as I've already done the hard part.

Few other tinder girls roaming around my peripheral. I've been building a nice portfolio of chicks over the last few months and things are starting to fall together nicely. Hopefully by the time I start work in January I'll have a stable of women. One or two for every day of the week, although given my love for my hobbies and desire to be alone it's likely I'll only need 3 to 5 solid plates that I'll see once a week to keep me occupied and my needs met.

 

[BeTheChange]

Calender is looking crazy this coming week

Monday: Italiana (main), Sarah (insurance), ex gf (insurance), Julie (insurance)
Tuesday: Jamie (main), Leah (insurance), Angela (insurance)
Wednesday: [Salsa so don't really care if they don't turn up - essentially my hobby here is the main chick] Georgia (flaker), Celia (insurance and a flaker), ex gf (insurance)
Thursday: [Salsa again] Charlotte (insurance)
Friday: Diane (main), Francis (insurance and a flaker)
Saturday: Rest day
Sunday: Tyra (main), Hannah (insurance)


The bolded ones are the girls I'm most excited about. The four girls bolded are re all solid 8s and up.

The girls in Italics are ones I've already fvcked who have come back into the fold but either don't excite me due to not having that sex appeal (Italiana), less reliable (Hannah) or just crazy (ex gf).

I had 3 girls in a week two weeks ago. I'm aiming for 5 different girls this week. Going to report on each one. This here game is funny!

 

[SteR]

Why on earth are you keeping your ex as insurance?

 

[BeTheChange]

Why on earth are you keeping your ex as insurance?

Why wouldn't I? Guaranteed, low maintenance bang to slot in place if any of the others flake.

 

[BeTheChange]

Monday
Met with Sarah 5:30pm. She was rounder than her tinder profile suggested so I grabbed a quick coffee at Starbucks and found a reason to leave 40 minutes in.

Met with Italiana around 7pm. A few months ago she stormed out after I annoyed her. I gave zero fvcks simply playing with my phone as she was getting ready to leave. This was supposed to be her giving me the cold shoulder making me chase. I blew her game plan out the water by giving her a smile and a french kisss as soon as she walked up.

The rest of the date was just me being cheeky, slipping my finger down the back of her jeans, grabbing her thighs, etc, while she tried to have a "serious" chat. I told her what she wanted to hear and "apologised" for whatever perceived issue had caused her to get annoyed. Now she's blowing up my phone and wants to see me soon for some sexy time. She thinks she can make a boyfriend out of me. She couldn't be more wrong. I could have taken her home right then but I'd set up my ex as an insurance for the evening in case Italiana was overly b*tchy or flaked.

Ex came over and I put it on her. Nothing too exciting. Same old nut.

Tuesday
Two of my Tuesdays flaked, as expected given its first date and tinder. Leah, also a first date and from tinder came through. Went for a drink. I was incredibly cheeky. Went in for the kiss after about 10 minutes and got parred. Told her she should let me know if I was wasting my time here. She said I wasn't. Tried a few more times and eventually she succumbed. She was wearing a baggy jumper. At one point I had my hand underneath it moving up her back and realised she wasn't wearing a bra. She says she rarely does. I then proceeded to try and move my hands around her back to get some titty action. She laughed but wasn't having any of it.

We had a good time and I almost got her back to mine. I thought she enjoyed the date but now she's not returning my texts. Could be a case of me being too confident and giving off that player vibe. I won't change my approach since it works often enough but definitely something to consider.

Wednesday and Thursday
Either these dates flaked or were rearranged for next week but I put the high risk ones on these days because of Salsa to begin with.

Friday
All three flaked. The joys of tinder. By this point I was glad since I was exhausted from the last few days and didn't want to go out when it was raining so heavily. Got my ex round instead.

Saturday
Rest day

Sunday
Still on. Not expecting this to end in a lay but I'll give it a go.

Conclusion
Sex with one chick
Kissing with three chicks
Sunday date still pending.

Predictions for next week: Sex with at least two chicks (the ex and Italiana are virtual guarantees)

I'm hopeful for Tyra (who I was meant to meet today but it had to be rearranged) as she seems keen and it will be date number 2.

Ex is still acting up but we no longer live in the same postcode so her unpredictability can be easily brushed aside. However if I can muster up one more regular, consistent plate for sex then I'll likely drop her until her behaviour improves.

 

[BeTheChange]

Happiness is a choice and needs to be built from the inside out. Women can never be the solution.

 

[BeTheChange]

Had 4 dates with 4 different women over the last week and not a single positive result. Somewhat concerning, but I think I'm coming across as a bit too self assured. Maybe need to tone down the kino as well. It was a bit of a confidence dent.

In all honesty, my main issue is my poor social circle. A few major friends have either drifted due to relationships or have moved out of the country so I'm almost having to start from scratch. I have dozens of acquaintances that I could attempt to build friendships with but it might come across as artificial given I've known some of them for a while.

Building a social circle needs to be more of priority than dating women. I don't see myself achieving true contentment without a solid group of friends. Life is just so much better when you have people you like to enjoy it with.

My goal in this arena is to focus on regular social hobbies and attending them on a regular basis. It's worked pretty well with salsa this far. I just need to build that consistency and be proactive in arranging to meet people.

 

[BeTheChange]

Frame is everything. Come to realise that so much of this game is about self-perception.

@fastlife made a valid point in another thread regarding one's self-esteem.

Logically I perceive myself to be "high value" (relatively) but it hasn't been absorbed entirely by the internal psyche, since this has ultimately been formed based on many years of self-doubt and confusion, prior to finding this site, and a childhood riddled with abuse (no excuses, just pointing out the likely cause).

The cognitive dissonance is interesting. I honestly believe I can achieve whatever I set my mind to with enough determination, discipline, time and luck, in typical ENT-J fashion. So in respect my self-belief and esteem are high. However if I fail to get the desired outcome (particularly with reference to women) my default assumption is that it must be my fault. That she did not perceive me as "good enough" (note this is NOT me thinking I am not good enough, but rather I wasn't able to behave in a manner that would allow her to recognise that value)

This is most clearly manifested in some of the recent "rejections" I've faced with some women I've been pursuing. I assumed they didn't see me as sufficiently high value, but until it was pointed about by others I never even entertained the idea that they might see me as "too high value" when in reality this view makes a lot more sense.

• They know or assume I get with other women
• They know I have a great body
• They assume based on my job or the way I dress that I make a lot of money (relative to my age group)

A perfect example of my thoughts vs reality was with the American chick I took to Dubai. Prior to the trip I did talk about dating other women so she knew what I was like.

The first couple of times we fvcked, she was quite distant after. No cuddles. I teased her for this.Towards the end of the trip she grew a lot closer.

I mentioned this in passing conversation weeks later and said I thought it was because she wasn't really into me. She said that she behaved that way because she was really into me, but didn't want to show it because "she didn't just want to be like all the other girls that end up obsessed with me". So basically we have a scenario where I assumed the worst and yet the actual reality is the complete opposite.

So as far as frame is concerned I'm going to make it a habit to ensure every situation is framed in the most mentally advantageous way - in essence, unless proven otherwise I'll assume that I'm "high value" and that if a woman reacts a certain way, it is because of this - provided it fits.

 

[fastlife]

Logically I perceive myself to be "high value" (relatively) but it hasn't been absorbed entirely by the internal psyche, since this has ultimately been formed based on many years of self-doubt and confusion, prior to finding this site, and a childhood riddled with abuse (no excuses, just pointing out the likely cause).

The cognitive dissonance is interesting. I honestly believe I can achieve whatever I set my mind to with enough determination, discipline, time and luck, in typical ENT-J fashion. So in respect my self-belief and esteem are high. However if I fail to get the desired outcome (particularly with reference to women) my default assumption is that it must be my fault. That she did not perceive me as "good enough" (note this is NOT me thinking I am not good enough, but rather I wasn't able to behave in a manner that would allow her to recognise that value)....

The first couple of times we fvcked, she was quite distant after. No cuddles. I teased her for this.Towards the end of the trip she grew a lot closer.

I mentioned this in passing conversation weeks later and said I thought it was because she wasn't really into me. She said that she behaved that way because she was really into me, but didn't want to show it because "she didn't just want to be like all the other girls that end up obsessed with me". So basically we have a scenario where I assumed the worst and yet the actual reality is the complete opposite.

So as far as frame is concerned I'm going to make it a habit to ensure every situation is framed in the most mentally advantageous way - in essence, unless proven otherwise I'll assume that I'm "high value" and that if a woman reacts a certain way, it is because of this - provided it fits.

Exactly. Right now, you cannot rely on your own assumptions as you experience them on a default emotional level. The only way to adjust your default assumptions is to test them over and over and over until you gather enough counter-evidence to cognitively recognize when your assumptions probably aren't correct; you're counteracting however many decades worth of thought-patterns & 'identity' & emotional conditioning (ego, more or less).

That ego, at some point, served you well enough in a past paradigm--but even then it was suboptimal & probably more based on avoiding negative outcomes (like abuse) than achieving positive ones (which comes with the risk of failure) & it was based on imperfect information and limited perception (My parents are angry & unhappy, so it must be my fault or If I get good grade, I'll deserve my parent's love or I can't do or say x, y, and z or else my parents won't love me and I need them to survive). What's even worse are that these thoughts are comfortable for you; they just feel right--even if logically you know they aren't accurate or productive, and without conscious intervention you'll keep putting yourself in situations to relive & reinforce those feelings. Conscious intervention--you are the master of your thoughts and feelings, not vice versa. Maybe at some point you completely internalize these new assumptions on an emotional level, but even after preaching this stuff for a year & a half I still have to force myself past negative assumptions and operate in the fear of rejection. I still catch myself sliding into old thought patterns.

But the core tenets of genuine confidence are unconditional self-regard & positive assumptions. So, for me anyway, it's just a matter of constant reframe. From the time I wake up, I'm gaming myself. So That girl isn't not replying to my texts because she thinks I'm low value, She's just so into me she can't think of what to say. She's literally at home playing with herself to the thought of me as we speak. She's dying for me to text her again and I'm a generous guy so maybe I will--but I'll make her wait a little bit. Whether or not my reframe is objectively more accurate than my initial assumption is totally context-dependent. Indubitably, there are girls who do think I'm low value or not good enough or whatever, but which set of assumptions serves me better? Which set of assumptions will allow me to operate in a more attractive manner or yield higher results? For the girls who already like me, well, the second set of assumptions will keep me from fvcking it up with insecurity or neediness. The girls who won't ever like me no matter what--well, I'm going to get rejected regardless so I'll let them reject me a few more times. And the girls in between--whoever's frame is stronger wins & some of them who didn't initially like me for whatever reason will fall into that new frame.

 

[BeTheChange]

Wanted to get a few things down before the memories fade away into oblivion.

The above proved to be great advice. In fact it's probably one of the best posts on this site (for my personal situation).

Fvcked the hottest girl I've been with in my life last Thursday. Spanish HB9. Massive boobs for her frame and great body.

Vastly developing the inner game necessary to deal with smoking hot chicks on a consistent basis.

This girl parred me off a few times ironically because I tried the cartoon character alpha minimal texting style that got me nowhere. Once I just decided to get to know her (ask her what she got up to, why she was in London, what she did for a living, etc) and text her like a mate she opened up a lot more and was keen to meet.

 

[BeTheChange]

If tinder is anything to go by, girls in New York city and DC are hideous. Do all the rich high powered doctors, lawyers, accountants and bankers that operate in these cities really tolerate this garbage?

From what I've seen so far it's terrible. Haven't been on a night out yet so remains to be seen if the real world is any better.