No motivation from dating anymore?

[ink_wizard]

Im 29, have never really had much success in the dating world. Have had a couple of short term relationships which never went anywhere, despite me doing my best to make them work. I've had slept with a few girls which was great but eventually that comes to an end as well. I have done all the online dating/dating apps and have met a few people off there but once again they never seem to go anywhere, various reasons behind that, either they think I don't have enough "status" or I don't lead an enough exciting life for them or surprisingly enough I find them boring and would rather bone them then hear about their life stories...or if by chance we do like each other back and everything is going well, I know it's only a matter of time till she gets bored or decides I'm "not the one for her" and then I'm always the one who ends up heartbroken.

I feel like I have just lost all my motivation for the whole dating fiasco. I've been single for 2 years, working on myself, getting my career sorted, hitting the gym and been doing well for myself but of course I'm always h0rny and fapping sometimes just doesn't cut it. I still want the intimacy of a woman and to get regular sex but I honestly can't be fu**ed jumping through their hoops and doing the whole chasing and trying to read their minds just to get it. I feel like I put so much effort in the past with the girls only to mostly get nowhere or heartbroken. I honestly don't know if I could seriously consider getting back in to the "game" ever again, to me it's just not worth it.

It's a bit depressing as well because all my friends and cousins are in long term relationships or about to get married and I can't even get a girl to stick around. I'll admit I am a massive introvert and can be shy at times. I'm not really into the whole party/club scene and I don't get out as much as I should as I mostly enjoy my own company and I know a lot of women view this as boring. I do have trouble escalating on dates as I'm never really sure if she's into me or not and I don't want to make her uncomfortable either.

I guess some people are unlucky in love and others have all the luck? I'm not a bad looking guy at all, a lot of women find me attractive as they tell me it all the time so it's not that, maybe it's my boring introverted lifestyle that puts them off? I don't know. I guess I'm just here to vent and get your thoughts and if any of you are feeling the same about dating?

 

[skinnyguy]

It's not bad you feel this way. In 2017 there are many drawbacks to dealing with women. PUAs pedestalize women but you shouldn't just go with society dictates. If just being alone makes you happier then do that.

29 is a tough age. You're not a young college kid yet you're not fully established in your career. Trust me things will be way better when you're 40.

 

[corrector]

Yeah, that's exactly how I feel too and I'm 41 years old. Similar experience to you. No matter what age you are, it just seems like meeting and dating women suck and escorts are always available for rent and there are always images of women to fap on the computer.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

Yeah, that's exactly how I feel too and I'm 41 years old. Similar experience to you. No matter what age you are, it just seems like meeting and dating women suck and escorts are always available for rent and there are always images of women to fap on the computer.

I hate that I agree with this.

I would probably do a lot better if I actually LIKED them.

If girls could read my mind, they would hear the most hateful thoughts you could imagine.

 

[ink_wizard]

Yeah its like i just cant be bothered to date anymore or seek out relationships. They honestly just don't seem worth it. I also seem to do better in life when I'm single and doing my own thing. I don't want to have to adjust my lifestyle to impress a girl either.

 

[Mike32ct]

I went to a party with a chick last night. She spent a third of the time blatantly staring at this Chad guy's azz and biting her lower lip.

Don't know why I bother. Should have brought some more work home instead. It's more productive.

 

[RichardTheFrog]

I went to a party with a chick last night. She spent a third of the time blatantly staring at this Chad guy's azz and biting her lower lip.

Don't know why I bother. Should have brought some more work home instead. It's more productive.

How old are you? How old is she? What made the guy a Chad? Can you describe the Chad in as much detail as you can?

 

[Mike32ct]

I'll keep this brief because this isn't my thread. The girl and I are both 40. The "Chad" guy is not a textbook Chad. He's a 52 yo guy that women in my social circle brag about looks-wise, mostly facial features. I'll leave it at that.

 

[Who Dares Win]

I'll keep this brief because this isn't my thread. The girl and I are both 40. The "Chad" guy is not a textbook Chad. He's a 52 yo guy that women in my social circle brag about looks-wise, mostly facial features. I'll leave it at that.

What do you mean brag about? I mean they brag about having his attention or they simply talk highly of his look and attractiveness?

Sorry to hear that I can imagine how frustrating it can be, the good thing is that you are totally understanding what is going on and surely wont place a losing bet.

I dont believe this is off topic instead its a good insight of what OP is talking about.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Jesus what a downer of a thread...I'm regretting clicking on this.

 

[ChangePages]

Im 29, have never really had much success in the dating world. Have had a couple of short term relationships which never went anywhere, despite me doing my best to make them work. I've had slept with a few girls which was great but eventually that comes to an end as well. I have done all the online dating/dating apps and have met a few people off there but once again they never seem to go anywhere, various reasons behind that, either they think I don't have enough "status" or I don't lead an enough exciting life for them or surprisingly enough I find them boring and would rather bone them then hear about their life stories...or if by chance we do like each other back and everything is going well, I know it's only a matter of time till she gets bored or decides I'm "not the one for her" and then I'm always the one who ends up heartbroken.

I feel like I have just lost all my motivation for the whole dating fiasco. I've been single for 2 years, working on myself, getting my career sorted, hitting the gym and been doing well for myself but of course I'm always h0rny and fapping sometimes just doesn't cut it. I still want the intimacy of a woman and to get regular sex but I honestly can't be fu**ed jumping through their hoops and doing the whole chasing and trying to read their minds just to get it. I feel like I put so much effort in the past with the girls only to mostly get nowhere or heartbroken. I honestly don't know if I could seriously consider getting back in to the "game" ever again, to me it's just not worth it.

It's a bit depressing as well because all my friends and cousins are in long term relationships or about to get married and I can't even get a girl to stick around. I'll admit I am a massive introvert and can be shy at times. I'm not really into the whole party/club scene and I don't get out as much as I should as I mostly enjoy my own company and I know a lot of women view this as boring. I do have trouble escalating on dates as I'm never really sure if she's into me or not and I don't want to make her uncomfortable either.

I guess some people are unlucky in love and others have all the luck? I'm not a bad looking guy at all, a lot of women find me attractive as they tell me it all the time so it's not that, maybe it's my boring introverted lifestyle that puts them off? I don't know. I guess I'm just here to vent and get your thoughts and if any of you are feeling the same about dating?

I'm 24 and you basically described me and my life, you have yours 30s to live up too so thats a good thing I hope. Hope everything goes well for you man.

 

[Trump]

Women and dating suck because your life sucks. Men think women are these mythical magical creatures that's going to solve all the problems. Nothing could be further from the truth. If you do not enjoy your life before women, you won't enjoy your life with being with a woman.

You have to be enthusiastic, positive, give back to society, and the women will come. But what they won't do is SOLVE your problems. Think about it: if you are home alone every Friday and Saturday night before meeting the most beautiful actress in the world, what are you going to do when you are with her? Movie, dinner, sex. Movie, dinner, sex. Movie, dinner, sex. Then what?

Men, women are there to be along for he ride. Not to cure your emotional needs.

 

[Milano]

29 aswell signing in with probably less experience than you. Just noticed you said "its only a matter of time until she gets bored and leaves", you know you cant afford thinking like that when you are with girls. You are always the star of the movie. You are king, doesnt matter if its true or not, you have to brainwash yourself into believing that every day if you ar not popular within a group so it will come natural.

I know the feel tho, got rejected twice the last week. One of the girls I thought was relationship material, hurt like a bish. Easy to say dont take it personal but we are humans ffs

 

[Mike32ct]

What do you mean brag about? I mean they brag about having his attention or they simply talk highly of his look and attractiveness?

They speak highly about his looks. He's referred to as "hot."

Sorry to hear that I can imagine how frustrating it can be, the good thing is that you are totally understanding what is going on and surely wont place a losing bet.

Thanks. Precisely.

I dont believe this is off topic instead its a good insight of what OP is talking about.

Cool. I think it is on topic also, but was a little worried about it being perceived as hijacking the thread, which is never my intent.

Just sharing another honest, real world observation.

 

[corrector]

Women and dating suck because your life sucks. Men think women are these mythical magical creatures that's going to solve all the problems. Nothing could be further from the truth. If you do not enjoy your life before women, you won't enjoy your life with being with a woman.

Who said that on this thread? It sounds like the OP, and others enjoy life better without women because they are too much trouble and are simply not worth it as a net.

You have to be enthusiastic, positive, give back to society, and the women will come.

You mean be a nice guy. That's not the narrative here.

But what they won't do is SOLVE your problems. Think about it: if you are home alone every Friday and Saturday night before meeting the most beautiful actress in the world, what are you going to do when you are with her? Movie, dinner, sex. Movie, dinner, sex. Movie, dinner, sex. Then what?

That is irrational. There are solitary activities you can do by yourself. There are other type of activities you do with other people. You are not going to visit a zoo, play board games, aquarium, symphony orchestra, travel out of town, or travel out to an island, etc... by yourself. You'll just feel bad if you do as you see other happy couples around and look out of place. Activities you do by yourself are designed for that.

Men, women are there to be along for he ride. Not to cure your emotional needs.

If you are with a woman, then you better have your emotional needs handled with her otherwise you are better off being single. If you are lonely and single then that's acceptable. If you are lonely and in a relationship that's too brutal. I've experienced both and can say that if your emotional needs are not met by a relationship then it's a toxic relationship and you are better off single.

 

[Trump]

Who said that on this thread? It sounds like the OP, and others enjoy life better without women because they are too much trouble and are simply not worth it as a net.

Check the title of the thread. No motivation is not because dating and women are awesome.

They are too much trouble because the OP has nothing else going on and hasn't accomplished anything. If the OP was Hollywood star, you think they would be too much trouble? If the OP was a major Director, you think they would be too much trouble? If the OP was a Doctor, Lawyer, Fortune 500 richest people, you think they would be too much trouble? They would be begging to sleep with him.

One of the problems is men expect women to get into relationships with them because they think they are owed it, not because what they do. "I followed all of society's rules, where is my hot attractive girl to have sex with?" Doesn't work that way.

You mean be a nice guy. That's not the narrative here.

Who said that? What does being of value to society have to do with being a nice guy?

That is irrational. There are solitary activities you can do by yourself. There are other type of activities you do with other people. You are not going to visit a zoo, play board games, aquarium, symphony orchestra, travel out of town, or travel out to an island, etc... by yourself. You'll just feel bad if you do as you see other happy couples around and look out of place. Activities you do by yourself are designed for that.

You are confusing the issues. Solitary activity or not solitary activity, a woman won't solve any problems the OP has. The OP has lost motivation to date girls because he has lost purpose in himself. Girls are not to connect with, they are there to have sex with.

If you are with a woman, then you better have your emotional needs handled with her otherwise you are better off being single. If you are lonely and single then that's acceptable. If you are lonely and in a relationship that's too brutal. I've experienced both and can say that if your emotional needs are not met by a relationship then it's a toxic relationship and you are better off single.

Men, your emotional needs should not be met by any woman, EVER. If she finds out you are leaning on her for support, you will be absolutely destroyed when she feels she wants out.

Can't stress this enough. Men, your job is not to connect with women, seek emotional needs with women, seek bonding with woman, seek unity with women. Your job, in 2017, is to to have sex with women, have fun with women, and reproduce with women.

 

[Alvafe]

Check the title of the thread. No motivation is not because dating and women are awesome.

They are too much trouble because the OP has nothing else going on and hasn't accomplished anything. If the OP was Hollywood star, you think they would be too much trouble? If the OP was a major Director, you think they would be too much trouble? If the OP was a Doctor, Lawyer, Fortune 500 richest people, you think they would be too much trouble? They would be begging to sleep with him.

One of the problems is men expect women to get into relationships with them because they think they are owed it, not because what they do. "I followed all of society's rules, where is my hot attractive girl to have sex with?" Doesn't work that way.



Who said that? What does being of value to society have to do with being a nice guy?



You are confusing the issues. Solitary activity or not solitary activity, a woman won't solve any problems the OP has. The OP has lost motivation to date girls because he has lost purpose in himself. Girls are not to connect with, they are there to have sex with.




Men, your emotional needs should not be met by any woman, EVER. If she finds out you are leaning on her for support, you will be absolutely destroyed when she feels she wants out.

Can't stress this enough. Men, your job is not to connect with women, seek emotional needs with women, seek bonding with woman, seek unity with women. Your job, in 2017, is to to have sex with women, have fun with women, and reproduce with women.

I pass the last 2, only sex is what they are for

 

[resilient]

OP, you can't enter STR and expect them to automatically turn into LTR. Relationships shouldn't be an end-goal-state. That's a feminine frame. She should be the one pursuing you for the relationship. You did your best to make them work... however, did she match your energy equally to make it work with you?

I get the drift her interest level dropped when you pulled all the weight and she lost interest because of lack of interest on her part or her not being challenged by YOU to pull her own weight. Did you have other plates you were spinning that she had to fend off? We don't value what comes easy, much like @da dynamically said above, dating is meant to frustrate you if you take it too seriously.

You'll worry less about providing value or status when you sincerely have a life outside of dating. Don't pursue value and status just to impress the ladies... pursue value and status because you want something MORE out of life than just dating. That's where you find your motivation again.

When you kill that neediness to be in a relationship and you're life kicks azz outside of dating, you'll become more of a catch.

Also, who cares if all your friends and cousins are off playing fvck, marry, kill. You're busy living your life to your needs.

Don't stress about being a massive introvert, some girls like that. Use that to your advantage to work a mystery angle so you're a puzzle that she wants to piece together.

Who cares if you value your own company that women view boring as a person. Don't place your internal value based on external value. You do you, she's along for the ride.

Finally, stop comparing yourself to others. Comparing yourself to others you perceive as lucky in love is not helping your situation.

Just ask yourself, am I having fun today? Am I living up to my own potential?

For all you know, some of these couples could be unhappy, depressed, angry, or dealing with abuse at home.

 

[corrector]

Check the title of the thread. No motivation is not because dating and women are awesome.

They are too much trouble because the OP has nothing else going on and hasn't accomplished anything. If the OP was Hollywood star, you think they would be too much trouble? If the OP was a major Director, you think they would be too much trouble? If the OP was a Doctor, Lawyer, Fortune 500 richest people, you think they would be too much trouble? They would be begging to sleep with him.

It's interesting you choose these types of examples of guys who easily get laid. You see you never choose "homeless veteran" who fought valliently in war, or the likes of someone that may be doing something to help other people who is under the radar. You have to ask yourself, what makes a Director, or Hollywood star more valuable in their contribution to society compared to the homeless veteran? Does any guy on here wants to deal with a type of woman that would throw themselves to hollywood stars? What value are those types here? If that's your characterization of women that people are going to make a gargantuan effort to go after then that doesn't sound very encouraging, does it?

One of the problems is men expect women to get into relationships with them because they think they are owed it, not because what they do. "I followed all of society's rules, where is my hot attractive girl to have sex with?" Doesn't work that way.

Followed all of society's rules? You mean being a value to society?

Who said that? What does being of value to society have to do with being a nice guy?

What is being a value of society to you? Your characterization thus far is simply having allot of money rather than any hard contribution to society or to the country. That's just money. Some have are rich others aren't. If you can afford a yacht because you are rich, great! If you have to mortgage out your life and make some insane gargantuan effort to get that then at some point you have to be realistic. It has nothing to do with what value you are to society or what hard contributions you are making towards the welfare of society as a whole.

You are confusing the issues. Solitary activity or not solitary activity, a woman won't solve any problems the OP has. The OP has lost motivation to date girls because he has lost purpose in himself. Girls are not to connect with, they are there to have sex with.

I am not confusing issues I'm responding to what you said. You said that if all you can think about is movies and dinner for date ideas then your life sucks. Now, that is irrelevant now. It sounds like you are backpeddling what you said before. He's lost motivation to date because it's simply not a good ROI for him. Can you explain why it would be a good ROI (rate of return)?

Men, your emotional needs should not be met by any woman, EVER. If she finds out you are leaning on her for support, you will be absolutely destroyed when she feels she wants out.

Then what's the point of having a woman? Even sex gets boring fast if there is nothing more in the deal.

Can't stress this enough. Men, your job is not to connect with women, seek emotional needs with women, seek bonding with woman, seek unity with women. Your job, in 2017, is to to have sex with women, have fun with women, and reproduce with women.

You can't really say that since there are different type of guys on here that are wired differently. If it were all about that, I'd just use an escort (assuming I were wired that way and could handle that) if I want a release since that would cover the first 2/3rds of what you put, you could go without the other 1/3rd. The reason people do not like using escorts on here is because there is no connection, emotional needs, bonding, unity or intimacy with them beyond the assumed physical arrangement. If the OP was wired that way then he wouldn't want an LTR.

 

[ubercat]

OP you're a quiet guy in the loud world. Don't worry this is easily solved. Go to a couple of activities for introverted people likev social anxiety meet up chess geocaching etc. Have a couple of friends so that women don't think you're a psycho. And believe me if you're social enough to want a girlfriend a couple of friends will be ok for you. Step two find yourself an Asian girl really easy just go to Asian areas and talk to them. Most of them are so polite they ll go out with you just because you asked. After a while you're Asian girl will want to hang out with you all the time. Step 3 don't let her. Have activities and goals in your life and go do them. And never justify yourself. If she starts with the dreaded why questions e.g. why do you have to go hiking on Saturday look surprised say because I want to and walk out of the room.