would you make a slvt your girlfriend?

[randalljohnson]

They don't change on the drop of a dime though man... Life changes takes time.

That's what I mean, sluts in her early/mid 20s, but in her late 20s she wants to settle down (like she sees her friends doing-- getting married etc)

Would it deter u if a woman in her late 20s says she wants stability, but enjoys her freedom when she's single? Meaning, leading up to you, she was sleeping with multiple FWB's and new dates, but then she meets u and jumps right into a relationship with u and gets her "stability." Would u trust that? Is a girl free-game when she's single or is that slutty tendencies?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

That's what I mean, sluts in her early/mid 20s, but in her late 20s she wants to settle down (like she sees her friends doing-- getting married etc)

Would it deter u if a woman in her late 20s says she wants stability, but enjoys her freedom when she's single? Meaning, leading up to you, she was sleeping with multiple FWB's and new dates, but then she meets u and jumps right into a relationship with u and gets her "stability." Would u trust that? Is a girl free-game when she's single or is that slutty tendencies?

Not sure I'd want to be the one they changed it up on. I just don't think at age 26 and 14 days that at age 26 and 15 days that she's going to be reformed... She might want that but it takes time to solidify that new lifestyle. So during the transition she probably will be faltering.

I don't know, I guess if she wants "stability" bad enough and you are the person she deems she can do that with maybe she won't turn back.

 

[LimaBean]

How long were the relationships?

One was just under a year, the other was 3 years.

I take it you don't believe peoples want/needs change as they get older and grow up more?

I suppose they could, but are her actions reflecting what she says? Doubtful. She's going to slvt around until she finds a chump to provide for her the rest of her life. Happened to both of the girls I was with. The 1 year relationship girl I had her bent over on my Harley pounding cheeks 2 months before she got married(this was years after we had split), the other was basically same scenario. Then they both found chumps and got fat. That's not the situation I want to be in. Maybe others have had success marrying these types of women but I'm not going to give it a chance.

 

[Dingo]

What's her number ?.... ;-)

 

[randalljohnson]

One was just under a year, the other was 3 years.

I suppose they could, but are her actions reflecting what she says? Doubtful. She's going to slvt around until she finds a chump to provide for her the rest of her life. Happened to both of the girls I was with. The 1 year relationship girl I had her bent over on my Harley pounding cheeks 2 months before she got married(this was years after we had split), the other was basically same scenario. Then they both found chumps and got fat. That's not the situation I want to be in. Maybe others have had success marrying these types of women but I'm not going to give it a chance.

Haha well I'm that "chump." My girlfriend had a dysfunctional and abusive childhood, grew up being rebellious and promiscuous. Been pumped and dumped by bad boys in the past. We've been together now for just under a year and I offer her the stability she's never had and I show her more signs of love, care, and affection than I think she's ever experienced before. She has some shady online behavior (adding dudes, adding guys from her past, etc.) But we've been together for several months now.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Haha well I'm that "chump." My girlfriend had a dysfunctional and abusive childhood, grew up being rebellious and promiscuous. Been pumped and dumped by bad boys in the past. We've been together now for just under a year and I offer her the stability she's never had and I show her more signs of love, care, and affection than I think she's ever experienced before. She has some shady online behavior (adding dudes, adding guys from her past, etc.) But we've been together for several months now.

you can't have any tolerance of disrespect man... don't get mad, do something about what ever it is even drop her azz.

 

[randalljohnson]

you can't have any tolerance of disrespect man... don't get mad, do something about what ever it is even drop her azz.

Yeah man, the re-adding of people from her past definitely has been a head scratcher for me. I made a thread about it. She used to add random local dudes and Like their pics, I think she's still Liking some of the random dudes pics. Weird. I guess I'm trying to be optimistic and believe that she's just re-adding old people out of curiosity, because Facebook is partly meant to reconnect with your past. But i keep resorting back too-- she's the one who so badly wanted stability. So would she really throw it away? Just look at some of the above replies, a couple guys have been saying how women do settle down with the guy that offers them that stability.

 

[Billtx49]

you can't have any tolerance of disrespect man... don't get mad, do something about what ever it is even drop her azz.

Yes, Every mans unbreakable rock solid boundary should be disrespect.
Ask my Ex.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Yeah man, the re-adding of people from her past definitely has been a head scratcher for me. I made a thread about it. She used to add random local dudes and Like their pics, I think she's still Liking some of the random dudes pics. Weird. I guess I'm trying to be optimistic and believe that she's just re-adding old people out of curiosity, because Facebook is partly meant to reconnect with your past. But i keep resorting back too-- she's the one who so badly wanted stability. So would she really throw it away? Just look at some of the above replies, a couple guys have been saying how women do settle down with the guy that offers them that stability.

texting in the middle of the night should be a deal-breaker, even one time. Knowing her past she should allow you to grab her phone and read texts. She should NOT have reason for secrets.

 

[randalljohnson]

texting in the middle of the night should be a deal-breaker, even one time. Knowing her past she should allow you to grab her phone and read texts. She should NOT have reason for secrets.

Well she mentioned how she'd like to move in with me. But she doesn't know if that can happen, due to legal reasons. Me and her live about an hour apart (in different states.) She spoke to some legal advisor or somebody in the court system, and they told her she could have a hard time moving out of state due to the kid's father. He told her that even if she managed to get approval by a judge, it could still fall through because the father can say that she's moving out of state in order to rip the kid away from him. So it's unclear whether that's even a possibility.

But I wouldn't take that as a bad sign that she's had thoughts of uprooting her and her kid, and moving in with me and my kid. Right?

 

[LimaBean]

Haha well I'm that "chump." My girlfriend had a dysfunctional and abusive childhood, grew up being rebellious and promiscuous. Been pumped and dumped by bad boys in the past. We've been together now for just under a year and I offer her the stability she's never had and I show her more signs of love, care, and affection than I think she's ever experienced before. She has some shady online behavior (adding dudes, adding guys from her past, etc.) But we've been together for several months now.

I remember this post. To be honest, she's doing some quite disrespectful things. I wouldn't put up with it anymore. And being that she knows she can get away with it now, as soon as you try to put an end to it she's going to throw a fit. Put your foot down from the start so she doesn't try to cross your expectations later.

Yeah man, the re-adding of people from her past definitely has been a head scratcher for me. I made a thread about it. She used to add random local dudes and Like their pics, I think she's still Liking some of the random dudes pics. Weird. I guess I'm trying to be optimistic and believe that she's just re-adding old people out of curiosity, because Facebook is partly meant to reconnect with your past. But i keep resorting back too-- she's the one who so badly wanted stability. So would she really throw it away? Just look at some of the above replies, a couple guys have been saying how women do settle down with the guy that offers them that stability.

of course she wants stability. Most everyone does - including myself. I'm willing to offer a woman that as well, but she won't get it unless she offers it. If she's disrespectful or does questionable things she no longer gets the option of stability.

 

[Reykhel]

I take it you don't believe peoples want/needs change as they get older and grow up more?

Of course her needs change as she gets older and she realizes that she is past her sexual peak.....

When that biological clock starts ticking and her looks begin to fade........of course she begins to "change".....she's no longer
the ***** that she was in her twenties......in fact, she's a born again virgin.....

There's now an urgency to "change". Understand the motivation. Don't be fooled by it...

She pissed her best years away........you can settle for her if you want......

 

[Reykhel]

I'd love to get your advice on this further. I always get stuck thinking if I'm only good enough, if I'm the perfect man that she won't leave, won't act up.

I think that's what gets a-lot of guys, definitely myself, stuck, i.e. she told me who she was but she treated me so well initially that the reason she's now acting up is because I must not be good enough to keep her behaving.

How do you break away from this line of thinking? I get stuck thinking about this all the time.

Ok well it seems you have a few inner game issues stemming from negative beliefs....

For example, you appear to be equating your own self worth ("I must not be good enough to keep her behaving") based on her
behavior towards you.....
This is an erroneous belief. This erroneous belief needs to be reframed.

If I was you I'd try to use mindfulness to observe these sort of beliefs, write them down so you can see them clearly.......then rewrite them (reframe) so that the serve you in a more powerful way.....

You may have to repeat certain beliefs and go through a paradigm shift until they become part of you and start to manifest in your physical world...

I know it might sound corny......but you've got to really condition yourself to believe that your self worth is not defined by anyone's behavior towards you.

Don't be fooled by anyone......like the quote from Fight Club goes "A tiger can smile, a snake can say it loves you, lies make us evil..."

Develop a healthy skepticism.......I read that piece of advice from a travel book on South East Asia many years ago.....the advice was the following ..."there are so many scams and people trying to rip you off that it's easy to get paranoid. You don't want to be completely paranoid while traveling. What's necessary is a healthy dose of skepticism"

I've never forgotten that advice. It's too easy to swallow the red pill and get paranoid that "they are out to get you" and that there's a huge conspiracy theory. But it's no way to live.....

However, every man needs strong defined boundaries. You cannot be a push over with anyone or else you will get walked on. It's a fact of life......

Therefore......a healthy dose of skepticism....

Remember, you can influence a woman's interest level towards you......

But you cannot change her character.....what you see is what you get.

A strong buffer between you and your plates needs to be developed. Like a bicycle wheel. You are the hub and your women are the outside wheel spinning around you. The spokes are maintaining a clear distance. Attached but detached at the same time.

 

[soulforge]

Yes, Every mans unbreakable rock solid boundary should be disrespect.
Ask my Ex.

This... Seriously disrespect from should be taken very seriously, if you overlook it, you will eventually pay a price...

The quicker you get rid of a disrespectful woman, the less damage you will do to yourself..

Set your standards high.. I'm learning this chit the hard way!!

 

[Red Legg]

If they are pretty they are going to have orbiters.My "girlfriend" wanted exclusivity and I said sure let's give it a try knowing full well how women are it really doesn't mean anything,she swore she loved me and would be faithful,well she got drunk and passed out while we were watching a movie.I went through her phone and low and behold she was hitting up men on FB messenger and starting conversations with them,setting up dates to come over and drink.I could have gotten mad and confronted her but I kept it to myself BUT I am treating her like an FWB now and she is noticing and wondering why the change.I am acting aloof and it's torturing her as to why lol but I can tell she is too scared to bring it to my attention because in the back of her mind she is thinking " did he go through my phone when I was passed out" lol fun times...always hide your cards it's like a game of poker..she is excellent in the sack though and sparks fly in the bedroom so yes I will be with this slvt in a "fake" exclusive relationship..