This woman is red pill.

[Boosh]

Been seeing a woman for around 4 months. She's about an hour away so we only see each other once or twice a week. I feel I've messed up by expressing feelings for her. I know I should have left that up to her to do 1st. Now after expressing stronger feelings for her, the "relationship" has been rocky.

She's expressed not being at the same level of emotions than me. Now she goes from hot to cold on me on a regular basis. She has a hard time showing affection unless it's in the bedroom and was burnt pretty badly in her last relationship in which she expresses she's still trying to get over emotionally.

The woman acts like she has red everything on r/theredpill and I'd have to say she's an alpha among women which can be intimidating when all the things I read about that a man should do, she's doing so it ****s my whole game up.

I guess what I'm getting at now is I'm wondering if there is anything I can do besides just backing off to help get over this hump that I've created. I really dig the woman but to still be wondering how someone feels about me after 4 months of courtship is also a little off putting for myself. I've began talking to other women just to keep my sanity from the oneitis I have developed. Thanks in advance.

 

[switch7]

You have committed the cardinal sin here. My advice would be to walk away and go no contact, see if she reaches out. And if she does, make her work for it, you need to get frame back and keep it.

By the way these women who seem like alphas amongst women as you put it, are usually soft on the inside. Just my observations.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

An hour away damn man, is it that bad in the city you live in? Sounds like you are definitely the rebound. Why are you getting involved with broads that are on the rebound anyway? Sex only with these broads, they are a terrible choice for a RL.

She is definitely the man in the "RL" with you wondering where you stand? The person who cares less holds the power & like switch said your frame is jacked.

She's going to chew you up and spit you out if you keep acting all beta.

Sounds more like alpha widow to me, she's not over her ex dude. Learn to acknowledge red flags AND DO NOT ignore them.

 

[Boosh]

An hour away damn man, is it that bad in the city you live in? Sounds like you are definitely the rebound. Why are you getting involved with broads that are on the rebound anyway? Sex only with these broads, they are a terrible choice for a RL.

She is definitely the man in the "RL" with you wondering where you stand? The person who cares less holds the power & like switch said your frame is jacked.

She's going to chew you up and spit you out if you keep acting all beta.

Sounds more like alpha widow to me, she's not over her ex dude. Learn to acknowledge red flags AND DO NOT ignore them.

I live in a pretty rural area and finding women close by is tough. I wouldn't exactly say she's on the rebound because she's been single for quite some time. I do need to get frame back for sure.

 

[The Duke]

I had a girl that was very similar to this last fall. Very alpha by female standards, rational, zero drama, very in control of her emotions, liked male hobbies but still very feminine. I never expressed my feelings verbally before she did, but she had it figured out well before. I guess my body language gave myself away. At one point during sechs, she even asked me if I was going to fall for her and like an idiot I said "yes...probably". <---Mistake.

When she started to gain power in the relationship I pulled away some and became more of a challenge. But all it did was make her think I was seeing some other girl. This might have been some projection on her part. She still maintained about 5 orbiters and one of them was an exboyfriend.

Towards the end I saw the hot/cold. Didn't want to express any affection in public. Less affectionate in her house when we were lounging around. Busted my balls for calling her "babe" on a facebook post.

I doubt you can save this, women like this are a very tough road long term. That alpha persona is a cover up for what is very fragile beneath.

See if you can find her pinterest/Instagram/old facebook postings where she might have posted some meme's about her life/thoughts that related to men she has encountered in her past. That will shed a lot of light on things. When I did, it turned on some lights for me.

The girl I was with had some attachment/bonding problems which was really at the core of her behavior. Read about "attachment theory".

 

[AJ84]

I think this women has given you a red flag with her comment about not being over an ex. Maybe continue chatting up other women. Yes it's been 4 months but it's only been 4 months and you don't owe her anything. If she's trying to get over being burnt in her last relationship it's not likely she's ready to begin something with you and the whole hot and cold thing is another red flag illustrating that. Why should you be the recipient of the left over hurt she experienced from her last relationship?


Aside: I think the women who think they understand men and then generalize all men make the mistake of coming off as distant because they think that playing causal, light, not being seen as needy, etc is what men want. That's because they probably heard or read on sites like this many men complaining about women being too emotional and needy. They over compensate by trying not to be this way and go overboard and the guy sees them as cold.

Someone above wrote that alpha women are usually soft on the inside and I think that's true. I think it's a self preservation strategy as well as a way to not scare a guy away.

You have no idea how concerned some women are about scaring a guy away because while women may be the gatekeepers of sex, men are the gatekeepers of relationships.

 

[lizardking82]

Best advice: try avoiding feelings for women on the rebound/hurt/trynna get over relationships.

2nd best advice: if you wanna bang them, you have got to absolutely be the fun, easy going guy in EVERY situation. Like, she's in drama mode right now. She doesn't need you expressing her deep feelings about anything. She wants someone fun and easy going to hang out and bang, not someone who could bring further drama to her life. She needs you to lead her into fun, chill times right now.

And she's no alpha. She's just actin' tough and defensive as a way of defending herself from further possible hurt. There are no alpha women. Simple as that.

 

[Boosh]

You all have no idea how nice it is to hear your all's thoughts. It's basically what has come up in my mind (theory's) about her as well. I'm trying to be the "fun" guy but she makes it hard a lot of times. Makes me feel insecure and weak. It's been a tough ride for me.

 

[hockeyfreak79]

You all have no idea how nice it is to hear your all's thoughts. It's basically what has come up in my mind (theory's) about her as well. I'm trying to be the "fun" guy but she makes it hard a lot of times. Makes me feel insecure and weak. It's been a tough ride for me.

This is your gut telling you to move on. It's NOT suppose to be an up hill battle when seeing someone. If it's really been a "tough ride" then get off the ride man! I've been there enough times before, it usually NEVER gets better.

Be the dumper not the dumpee.

 

[Masculinity]

Been seeing a woman for around 4 months. She's about an hour away so we only see each other once or twice a week. I feel I've messed up by expressing feelings for her. I know I should have left that up to her to do 1st. Now after expressing stronger feelings for her, the "relationship" has been rocky.

She's expressed not being at the same level of emotions than me. Now she goes from hot to cold on me on a regular basis. She has a hard time showing affection unless it's in the bedroom and was burnt pretty badly in her last relationship in which she expresses she's still trying to get over emotionally.

The woman acts like she has red everything on r/theredpill and I'd have to say she's an alpha among women which can be intimidating when all the things I read about that a man should do, she's doing so it ****s my whole game up.

I guess what I'm getting at now is I'm wondering if there is anything I can do besides just backing off to help get over this hump that I've created. I really dig the woman but to still be wondering how someone feels about me after 4 months of courtship is also a little off putting for myself. I've began talking to other women just to keep my sanity from the oneitis I have developed. Thanks in advance.

Go ghost on this woman.

 

[Fruitbat]

Given I am more emotional than most men, I am lucky to have a dad who is totally cold with expressing feelings so I never have this issue, I screw up by being too honest with my views or wanting to see them too much. Or I will get jealous about other guys, but rarely will I tell them I have feelings for them, it's just not me.

On alpha women, are we confusing alpha with masculine? The alpha woman is not the bossy one, it's the one with the most male interest generally. The prettiest one. Even though the tougher one will organise, the most pretty or desirable one is queen. We see alpha in male terms.