How do you build chemistry on the course of 1 blind date?

[MisterMike]

I feel like I'm doing everything right but still hitting this wall. I feel like this something that takes more than a sitting to build. I suspect that I build the chemistry in the moment but then it fizzles out.

 

[SuckItUp]

I feel like I'm doing everything right but still hitting this wall. I feel like this something that takes more than a sitting to build. I suspect that I build the chemistry in the moment but then it fizzles out.

Chemistry is a catch all word and women often use it as codespeak to say you didn't get me wet.

However, you can be sexual with a woman and not have chemistry just as you can have chemistry but not have sexual with a woman.

Chemistry is an amorphous shape that can't really be defined.

You can increase your attractiveness by being a fun person to be around, escalating constantly, teasing your date, and not worrying about the things you can't control.

Humans build relationships through the similarity of experience as well as similar philosophies.

Same applies to bonding with women. Sex is the ultimate bonding tool for a woman so it makes sense to get a woman aroused. Chemistry is created by a woman feeling an inexplicable pull/draw that overwhelms her.

That pull/draw is dictated by emotional response. That's why the worst thing you can do is be boring/not stand out. Being a colossal asshat is even better than being a place holder because you stir emotions.

Next time you go out try focusing on creating emotional response from your date.

 

[Plums]

Sounds like you are over analyzing. Chemistry doesn't really fizzle out. Are you sure it is there to start with and you are not just reading friendly politeness for sexual interest?
Chemistry feels like electricity between you, it can result in little chat but there will be lots of eye contact and also compliments and expressions of feelings like, "I really like being with you" or " we seem to like the same things." It is quite a fast manifestation. Phone calls go on for hours. Or you stay with the person long after you should go home.
Also if you are following a game plan. It won't work. That is not chemistry, its fake and people can tell.

 

[MisterMike]

I suspect if it was friendly politeness that she wouldn't have stuck around as long as did a few hour and she wouldn't stop smiling and touching herself, but apparently I'm not as wise I believed. I guess I'm just trying figure out at what point is it just an issue of instant gratification and over-valuing on the woman's part? I suppose it doesn't compute to me that people could be so easily dismissed. Plums, you said not to have a gameplan and not to fake it, but if that were true then wouldn't there be more than one way to skin this cat? I mean, it seems like the same parlor tricks work over and anything genuine seems to fail.

 

[lizardking82]

One thing a lot of guys do not understand about "chemistry": it is a complex thing. Maybe you are doing everything right, but her parents are going through a divorce and she stressed out by the exams right now so she is only receptive to 50/60% of your whole energy. Guys, unless you Brad Pitt and go to her telling her "hey, baby, I am Brad, I fell in love at first sight and I will solve all your problem. Your exams? No worries, private teachers, the best. Parents divorcing? No probs, marriage counselors, the best. You up for a drink now, beautiful", there are times when it's not going to work.

The point being, it does not depend on you only. There is another person involved, hello...Other than this, girls are highly, highly attracted to certain guys for some reason noone knows. It doesn't only have to do with how good you are at making her wet, sometimes she wet already because she sees something in you that we cannot explain, she also cannot explain.

 

[RangerMIke]

Chemistry is there or not... you can not create chemistry. She either places you in the catogory of 'fvckable' or not, if she finds you 'fvckable' it is possible to build interest if you act like a man. You can build rapport with a chick you just meet, but if you are not 'fvckable', in her mind, all you are going to do is make a friend. You build rapport by communicating emotionally with women. But again... she has to put you in the category of 'fvckable' first, then you have a shot.

 

[MisterMike]

Ok, but is that category just arbitrary? I mean what separates ****able from un****able at a glance? Personal preference?