mister.ritenow
Don Juan
- Joined
- May 5, 2015
- Messages
- 38
- Reaction score
- 2
Timetable is as follows:
- felt connection with a client off the. bat and went on a few dates after I left that job, seemed hitting it off over the course of about a month, etc.
- really liked her (oneitis level feels) and it showed, which caused me to fear escalation, abandon plates and be too available, then interest on her end seemed peaked and I wasn't able to escalate to sex on the third date as planned, but she was still hitting me up and texting saying how good of a time she has the night of or day after we chill, enthusiastically so.
- about a week later she started to get flaky about hanging out (had work and couldn't make plans but didn't give alternative date/time or seem as interested) and response quality/time dropped significantly. This went on for about a week.
- I spotted my counterproductive oneitis behavior (gets easier over the years even if it still afflicts me at 28) and the usual response to same and took corrective measures for a week (Significantly lowered my interest level, stopped initiating, filled schedule with plans/work, went out and picked up a new hot Korean plate, scooped up an old dependable plate, stopped beating off for a while to stay motivated to talk to other girls, trying to accept all outcomes). Now I'm in a better headspace to make rational decisions but not totally out of the feels woods.
- due to corrective behavior or luck, the girl is now initiating almost daily such that I'm contemplating giving another date a shot. I ignore her snaps for hours and she will send another even before I respond. Her level of response is also back on the rise. This has been going for almost a week straight.
- Basically I'm confused because whereas in the past I may have gotten crazy enough to *dramatic organ music* CONFESS MY FEELINGS and blow up the whole situation with weirdness leading to a more conclusive end, this time my good practices for moving on with dignity and a chance in the future have created what looks like a second opportunity. Help me mull over how to proceed to protect myself but preserve a chance for sex or more in the future.
QUESTIONS:
1) Should I initiate another date? My schedule is open next wed-fri and I figure tonight (Sunday) would be a good time to schedule, maybe later on between dinner and bed? Or Should I keep lowering my interest an force her to ask me out? (I usually make the plans, but not always)
2) What are some other tactics that you guys use when you can tell that you are predisposed to liking a girl and would like your approach to be unaffected and your head to be more grounded. How do you work on staying unemotional in these positions.
3) Ever adjust course and reframe yourself or is this a pipe dream worth dropping?
All of your help is much appreciated. This is definitely not the worst oneitis I've had and I'm making adjustments early which is helping my mental state, but it's a tough time and I appreciate the help I've gotten here from those of you that can emphathise.
Thanks!
- felt connection with a client off the. bat and went on a few dates after I left that job, seemed hitting it off over the course of about a month, etc.
- really liked her (oneitis level feels) and it showed, which caused me to fear escalation, abandon plates and be too available, then interest on her end seemed peaked and I wasn't able to escalate to sex on the third date as planned, but she was still hitting me up and texting saying how good of a time she has the night of or day after we chill, enthusiastically so.
- about a week later she started to get flaky about hanging out (had work and couldn't make plans but didn't give alternative date/time or seem as interested) and response quality/time dropped significantly. This went on for about a week.
- I spotted my counterproductive oneitis behavior (gets easier over the years even if it still afflicts me at 28) and the usual response to same and took corrective measures for a week (Significantly lowered my interest level, stopped initiating, filled schedule with plans/work, went out and picked up a new hot Korean plate, scooped up an old dependable plate, stopped beating off for a while to stay motivated to talk to other girls, trying to accept all outcomes). Now I'm in a better headspace to make rational decisions but not totally out of the feels woods.
- due to corrective behavior or luck, the girl is now initiating almost daily such that I'm contemplating giving another date a shot. I ignore her snaps for hours and she will send another even before I respond. Her level of response is also back on the rise. This has been going for almost a week straight.
- Basically I'm confused because whereas in the past I may have gotten crazy enough to *dramatic organ music* CONFESS MY FEELINGS and blow up the whole situation with weirdness leading to a more conclusive end, this time my good practices for moving on with dignity and a chance in the future have created what looks like a second opportunity. Help me mull over how to proceed to protect myself but preserve a chance for sex or more in the future.
QUESTIONS:
1) Should I initiate another date? My schedule is open next wed-fri and I figure tonight (Sunday) would be a good time to schedule, maybe later on between dinner and bed? Or Should I keep lowering my interest an force her to ask me out? (I usually make the plans, but not always)
2) What are some other tactics that you guys use when you can tell that you are predisposed to liking a girl and would like your approach to be unaffected and your head to be more grounded. How do you work on staying unemotional in these positions.
3) Ever adjust course and reframe yourself or is this a pipe dream worth dropping?
All of your help is much appreciated. This is definitely not the worst oneitis I've had and I'm making adjustments early which is helping my mental state, but it's a tough time and I appreciate the help I've gotten here from those of you that can emphathise.
Thanks!
Last edited:
