Examples of a NPD' crazy logic or lack thereof

[exhausted]

This is classic behavior in the devaluation phase. They go from spending every waking moment with you in order to secure you as their supply in the idealization Phase , to any and all opportunity to avoid doing the bare minimum to keep you around in the devaluation phase

yep.
this happened a near month ago.
She called me last night acting nice asking if I wanted to do something with her today.. i have not seen her in a month..hahaha
Instead of playing into her hands and telling her to F off where she can go rage psycho and put me down and turn things around, I instead said let me see whats going on I have a dr appt early that may push back my work day ill let you know. Then I have yet to even contact her today because i dont care. On the phone I initiated nothing, no questions just answers, sat in silence for long stretches didnt mind.

they say act like a grey rock. your emotions become of a rock. that is what ive done for a month and it works. less stress and no bs, never say anything to get turned around on.

 

[Thorninmyside]

Wow man. You've been through the ringer. I was half way through paragraph one of your first post and ready to hit her with a Mack truck. The rest is just ridiculous.

 

[exhausted]

If you don't have mutual kid you could also just block her and then you won't have to worry about the psychology of being a grey Rock

That would work if she wouldnt show up at my home unannounced or call and bother my mother. No contact is the best choice overall, though this low contact has been very helpful to end things without a rage and blow up from her where i have to just keep receiving stressful events. So far so good I am out of sight and hope to be out of mind. Like easing her down slowly.

 

[exhausted]

Wow man. You've been through the ringer. I was half way through paragraph one of your first post and ready to hit her with a Mack truck. The rest is just ridiculous.

Being gone for over a month now the feel of disconnect is one of relief and I can see how damaged this npd is. Prior I endured stress and confusion among the situations as their rages and quick flip outs are out of no where, but now I no longer try to figure out what the hell is going on, instead I understand she is damaged, something is MISSING and there is nothing I can do. It is really sad really to see someone is so damaged that they cant even get through everyday life without making a problem out of something, lacking comprehension and having no composure what so ever. sad and disturbing overall

 

[MrAddiction]

Best thing mine once said: you are totally selfish and egoistic!
Me: Why
Her: Because you do not do what I tell you.

Sounds like a joke - but really happened.

 

[MrAddiction]

The #1 benefit from staying away from damaged women like her is in keeping your own sanity and peace of mind.

Sadly you just know after you were involved with one of These and the the harder thing is to get back your sanity and Peace of mind.

 

[MrAddiction]

yes, the difficult thing is losing her as a friend, although she is a nut job we had been best friends the last 3 years, though moreso me to her than her being there for me of course as a npd. so it is hard losing a great friend overall.
no choice but to get away though, I could not imagine being married to someone like this or having kids when my wife would be screaming at me . I am not built to tolerate such things.

Morseo you to her.... Yes at least it was only a one way road. What you miss is just the illusion of someone caring for/about you.
I know what I am Talking about...
I am out exactly one year now. NC 7month. And still think of her everyday. Not in a way of wanting her back, but it is there. Having been together for nearly 8years is not gonna be to vanish in 60 days. But NC helps. Cluster B(itch) is like a drug. Willpower is your best friend in fighting the addiction.

 

[MrAddiction]

It is like they enjoy arguing or being mad and not getting along.

There has been not a single day in 5years we lived together where there was no fight. Me being on that does not take **** always fought back - now knowing with that I was feeding the beast and kept her entertaint. Must have been one of the things that made her stay that long.

 

[MrAddiction]

It's because these chicks with personality disorders get off on ruining men. To her, beating you in an argument is more rewarding that having a healthy relationship with you. TRULY a 10/10 on the f*cked up scale.

Mine once told me: I can mit give you the harmonious relationship you want.
I just thought wtf .... who would say such a thing. But instead of running....I stayed.

 

[Billtx49]

I just thought wtf .... who would say such a thing. But instead of running....I stayed.

Classic case there. You don't totally recognize what you were up against with her until you're out and away from her.
They are the modern day Sirens in every sense of the word through their toxic words and actions after they eventually seduce you.

 

[exhausted]

Yep if i ever did anything for myself i was told i was selfish. Anything

 

[btownbuck2012]

Classic case there. You don't totally recognize what you were up against with her until you're out and away from her.
They are the modern day Sirens in every sense of the word through their toxic words and actions after they eventually seduce you.

I think we all knew what was going on...we just never imagined it could get as bad as it did. Truly one of the most important lessons I've ever learned. NEVER ignore the gut feeling. The emotional savagery that awaits if you do could potentially ruin you.

 

[AJ84]

As someone who is a single mom about to get married again, I think you dodged a big bullet. She seems to have taken for granted that being a single parent is a hard sell. That's not to say that single mothers should accept whatever they can get but it sounds like you really went above and beyond for this person and her child she basically pooped all over it. Once the dust settles and she realizes just how good she had it, she will try to get you back, which it sounds like she started doing. Hot stoves should only be touched once.

 

[Billtx49]

I think we all knew what was going on...we just never imagined it could get as bad as it did. Truly one of the most important lessons I've ever learned. NEVER ignore the gut feeling. The emotional savagery that awaits if you do could potentially ruin you.

Yes, your gut Always has to override your emotions, or you will be the one getting fvcked over if you ever have the misfortune of getting involved with a cluster B woman…

 

[Dingo]

I don't know about the other stuff (too hard to read) but if I couldn't pee at night in peace I'd be out....

 

[exhausted]

Huh hmm

As someone who is a single mom about to get married again, I think you dodged a big bullet. She seems to have taken for granted that being a single parent is a hard sell. That's not to say that single mothers should accept whatever they can get but it sounds like you really went above and beyond for this person and her child she basically pooped all over it. Once the dust settles and she realizes just how good she had it, she will try to get you back, which it sounds like she started doing. Hot stoves should only be touched once.

i thought all the time and mentioned to her numerous times how she doesn't appreciate having a good man who treats her and her daughter great. I don't get it. I don't. I was a single parent raised my son for 18 years now and would appreciate anyone good I could find. Unreal.

 

[exhausted]

I think we all knew what was going on...we just never imagined it could get as bad as it did. Truly one of the most important lessons I've ever learned. NEVER ignore the gut feeling. The emotional savagery that awaits if you do could potentially ruin you.

True.
They are very nice and affectionate for days then out of no where cold and bipolar and irrational so u fight to get that connection back to where it was. Out of no where they flip are are mean vile and crazy and u just think WTF is going on.......

It's a mind****

 

[exhausted]

Morseo you to her.... Yes at least it was only a one way road. What you miss is just the illusion of someone caring for/about you.
I know what I am Talking about...
I am out exactly one year now. NC 7month. And still think of her everyday. Not in a way of wanting her back, but it is there. Having been together for nearly 8years is not gonna be to vanish in 60 days. But NC helps. Cluster B(itch) is like a drug. Willpower is your best friend in fighting the addiction.

Thanks friend. Appreciate your posts.

The ****ery is unreal, savage and brutal. They can be so mean without any compassion.

 

[exhausted]

Since Father's Day just passed it reminded me of another example.

My ex has a little kid it is not mine, however every Mother's Day (3 years ina row) I would send her flowers and take her to dinner and even get include her kid into being in on a gift to give her mother, my ex.

I lost my dad a few years back, he and I were very close, every Father's Day we would always go golfing together. Now Father's Day is rough.
Anyways
Last Father's Day I asked my gf at the time if she would want to spend time tog that me and some of my family was going to the lake. She said no she didn't want to be riding around in a car all day, the lake was 25 mins away.
So she didn't go. (She instead stayed home and hung with her mom and got in her pool for a bit)
I thought it was pretty crappy but whatever.
After the lake I went to the movies with my nephew and son.
When my ex learned later that evening she was furious with me that I didn't include her or invite her to the movie. She went off flipping out on me, I was calm, said it's not the best day and I'm just trying to have a good day would have been nice to spend time w her. She said she didn't want to go to the lake so didn't, I said tough day for me I don't ask for much but woulda been nice not to be selfish today, she said well she didn't want to go.
Ok then, so why would I ask to spend time at a move when u had no interest earlier.

Long story short my 4th Father's Day after burying my dad was even rougher due to this NPD heartless **** flipping on me over that bull****.

I was the bad guy, I got yelled at and flipped on.

These NPD ****s are vile mean people.

 

[sazc]

Oh I 100% agree.

It's not. My MIL is bpd. She is this way with everyone, men and women. I don't think they realize they are behaving destructively either. They (violently) react based on the emotions they feel and deep seated fear.

It's definitely due to past trauma tho