Back again, my GF is adding people from her past

[randalljohnson]

lol, im pretty sure I've already said the same thing, just in a much nicer way.

You're languishing in a relationship where you feel her behavior disrespects you. You're clinging because her mouth said she wants stability and a nice boy, yet her actions actively create emotional distance between you.

I just had a conversation with a co worker about dating where he was telling me about his friend who has a controlling GF for a while. I asked why his friend stayed in the relationship so long and my co worker said

"....you know ..... when you have someone, and you arent happy, and you contemplate leaving, you realize if you leave you will have no one, and who wants to have no one? what if they never find anyone else?"

randaljohnson, you are that dude, the one who is staying out of fear


This I firmly believe. She will continue to repeat her patterns b/c theres 'nothing wrong with her'

Well Im not staying out of fear. Im staying because I love her. She had a rough upbringing, promiscuous past, and when I met her, she was an unhappy person. People on here like to say i have a save-a-ho complex. I've had my good share of bad relationships and I guess we both met eachother at the right tme because we both wanted companionship.

You mock her by saying "b/c there's nothing wrong with her." She owns up to it. She admitted to me very soon after we met how she's "ruined" and I just wanted to give her my love. I like her and I find her very attractive, despite her making jokes about MY looks. I do know that she was trying something different with me, because i AM NOT one of those jerks she's dated before who basically just used her for sex.

I love her, almost to a fault. Some of my friends bust my balls about how much affection I show to her (which I know she's not used to because she used to attract the "hardcore alpha types".) For instance, we went to the beach a few weeks ago and my friend took a picture of us standing on the beach, and I had written "Randall Loves Sarah" in the sand. My one friend started cracking up when he saw me and said "Dude what was up with that picture of you two on the beach??" I said "what?" He said "Randall Loves Sarah?? You're like a teenager who's fallen in love dude. It's like puppy love." Once he stopped laughing he said, "But in all honesty dude...you seem to be showing ALOT of love to her. You need to make sure she's reciprocating. Writing something like that in the sand is something the woman should be doing, not the man. It's like the gender roles are swapped in your relationship, not for nothing."

We got into a little argument because I took offense to his comments. And yeah, IF she ever does leave me one day, then shame on me. But right now, other than my insecurities due to her questionable online behavior and her jabs she occasionally takes at my looks, she's my girlfriend.

Tell me your thoughts, because it's interesting hearing opinions from a female on here.

 

[stovepipe]

Your post screams brain washed. I did the same crap writing her name in the sand. Felt like puppy love. Dude, you are so blind from whats really going on that the longer you stay, the harder you will fall. Its become a waste of time trying to help you. This is coming from someone who was in your SAME exact position and I didn't listen. It resulted in me being destroyed by her, suicidal, I cant move on and potentially have irreversible lifetime trauma from it. If what I just said isn't enough for you to understand you're in a toxic relationship, then you need a serious mental check man. Respect yourself and walkway or stay and get your heart blown into a million pieces.

 

[Billtx49]

Another redundant post here, but Get the Hell away from her.

 

[Juanto]

Utterly useless trolling thread this one

 

[Initiatedindenial]

Well Im not staying out of fear. Im staying because I love her. She had a rough upbringing, promiscuous past, and when I met her, she was an unhappy person. People on here like to say i have a save-a-ho complex. I've had my good share of bad relationships and I guess we both met eachother at the right tme because we both wanted companionship.

You mock her by saying "b/c there's nothing wrong with her." She owns up to it. She admitted to me very soon after we met how she's "ruined" and I just wanted to give her my love. I like her and I find her very attractive, despite her making jokes about MY looks. I do know that she was trying something different with me, because i AM NOT one of those jerks she's dated before who basically just used her for sex.

I love her, almost to a fault. Some of my friends bust my balls about how much affection I show to her (which I know she's not used to because she used to attract the "hardcore alpha types".) For instance, we went to the beach a few weeks ago and my friend took a picture of us standing on the beach, and I had written "Randall Loves Sarah" in the sand. My one friend started cracking up when he saw me and said "Dude what was up with that picture of you two on the beach??" I said "what?" He said "Randall Loves Sarah?? You're like a teenager who's fallen in love dude. It's like puppy love." Once he stopped laughing he said, "But in all honesty dude...you seem to be showing ALOT of love to her. You need to make sure she's reciprocating. Writing something like that in the sand is something the woman should be doing, not the man. It's like the gender roles are swapped in your relationship, not for nothing."

We got into a little argument because I took offense to his comments. And yeah, IF she ever does leave me one day, then shame on me. But right now, other than my insecurities due to her questionable online behavior and her jabs she occasionally takes at my looks, she's my girlfriend.

Tell me your thoughts, because it's interesting hearing opinions from a female on here.

I'm pretty sure you are a troll, but just in case you are not, considering the fact that you are writing love declarations on the sand I m not surprised that this girl is adding people from her past, she is trying to remember what a Men is like.

 

[randalljohnson]

I'm pretty sure you are a troll, but just in case you are not, considering the fact that you are writing love declarations on the sand I m not surprised that this girl is adding people from her past, she is trying to remember what a Men is like.

Why would somebody come on a forum like this and write out fake, detailed stories? I know I wouldn't. A person must have no life at all to do something like that.

What about me writing her name in the sand makes me less of a man?

 

[cityboy989]

I'm pretty sure you are a troll, but just in case you are not, considering the fact that you are writing love declarations on the sand I m not surprised that this girl is adding people from her past, she is trying to remember what a Men is like.

LOL

 

[cityboy989]

Why would somebody come on a forum like this and write out fake, detailed stories? I know I wouldn't. A person must have no life at all to do something like that.

What about me writing her name in the sand makes me less of a man?

What about you writing "Randall Loves Taylor" in the sand (and you two taking a pic behind it) makes you any MORE of a man?

Your friend who got on you about that was absolutely right. Shame on you for being butthurt and getting mad at him. He was being an honest, true friend. Writing that stuff in the sand is something the WOMAN should be doing. He's absolutely right. You think she's totally closed the chapter of her life of "hardcore alphas" and now is deadset on living forever with a beta? (And she's still only what? 29? 30?) Mind you, she met you merely weeks after her last bad boy chucked her. If you say so...

You're an ego boost for her dude. You're an emotional crutch for her, until she's ready to play the field again.

 

[lizardking82]

What about you writing "Randall Loves Taylor" in the sand (and you two taking a pic behind it) makes you any MORE of a man?

Your friend who got on you about that was absolutely right. Shame on you for being butthurt and getting mad at him. He was being an honest, true friend. Writing that stuff in the sand is something the WOMAN should be doing. He's absolutely right. You think she's totally closed the chapter of her life of "hardcore alphas" and now is deadset on living forever with a beta? (And she's still only what? 29? 30?) Mind you, she met you merely weeks after her last bad boy chucked her. If you say so...

You're an ego boost for her dude. You're an emotional crutch for her, until she's ready to play the field again.

I did that for my ex, too. Was for holidays in Italy at my aunt's, wanted her to be there so I wrote an "I love you, X" in the sand. Then for New Year's Eve I got all my cousins in Greece and their friends to tell record a video with each of them telling her she was beautiful and they wish her Happy new year. She burst into tears in both cases and I didn't do it to make myself feel like a great man or sth, just wanted to make her happy cause I thought she deserved it. Apparently, most women don't like that **** deep inside, it makes them feel like you're being a ***** or sth. At the moment, they will probably react positively, but I doubt it has a positive effect on them

 

[cityboy989]

I did that for my ex, too. Was for holidays in Italy at my aunt's, wanted her to be there so I wrote an "I love you, X" in the sand. Then for New Year's Eve I got all my cousins in Greece and their friends to tell record a video with each of them telling her she was beautiful and they wish her Happy new year. She burst into tears in both cases and I didn't do it to make myself feel like a great man or sth, just wanted to make her happy cause I thought she deserved it. Apparently, most women don't like that **** deep inside, it makes them feel like you're being a ***** or sth. At the moment, they will probably react positively, but I doubt it has a positive effect on them

Pretty much. It's like when a guy showers a girl with gifts, flowers, and chocolate. In the moment, she thinks it's so cute and she relishes it. But ultimately, it does nothing to stimulate her sexually. It actually does the opposite. You become her male teddy bear. You want to be her masculine lover.

 

[Initiatedindenial]

Pretty much. It's like when a guy showers a girl with gifts, flowers, and chocolate. In the moment, she thinks it's so cute and she relishes it. But ultimately, it does nothing to stimulate her sexually. It actually does the opposite. You become her male teddy bear. You want to be her masculine lover.

Agreed. Gifts, flowers, etc cannot buy attraction. And if in excess they actually diminish it.

 

[Initiatedindenial]

Why would somebody come on a forum like this and write out fake, detailed stories? I know I wouldn't. A person must have no life at all to do something like that.

What about me writing her name in the sand makes me less of a man?

Has she done a display of affection of equal or major magnitude in your regards?

I bet not.

 

[QuadDeuces]

Youre not in love with her, youre addicted to the roller coaster ride.

 

[randalljohnson]

What about you writing "Randall Loves Taylor" in the sand (and you two taking a pic behind it) makes you any MORE of a man?

Your friend who got on you about that was absolutely right. Shame on you for being butthurt and getting mad at him. He was being an honest, true friend. Writing that stuff in the sand is something the WOMAN should be doing. He's absolutely right. You think she's totally closed the chapter of her life of "hardcore alphas" and now is deadset on living forever with a beta? (And she's still only what? 29? 30?) Mind you, she met you merely weeks after her last bad boy chucked her. If you say so...

You're an ego boost for her dude. You're an emotional crutch for her, until she's ready to play the field again.

How dare you claim that I do things that "the woman" should be doing. Since when is it bad to display your affection? People on here are so hellbent on alpha-vs-beta

And how dare you say I'm merely just an emotional crutch for her until she's tired of my "stability"

 

[randalljohnson]

Has she done a display of affection of equal or major magnitude in your regards?

I bet not.

Not publicly, no

 

[Masculinity]

Don't feed the troll.

 

[cityboy989]

Don't feed the troll.

I honestly don't think he's a troll. He genuinely comes across as a beta basketcase.

 

[randalljohnson]

Don't feed the troll.

I come on here asking questions, and this is what I get in return. I almost want to start looking on other forums for advice.

 

[Masculinity]

I come on here asking questions, and this is what I get in return. I almost want to start looking on other forums for advice.

One hundred forums wouldn't help if you don't apply the advice you receive.

 

[randalljohnson]

One hundred forums wouldn't help if you don't apply the advice you receive.

I understand what youre saying. But when i ask further questions, most people on here just come back at me with "we told you already." yes, they answered my previous question, but not the next question that I asked. The next question I asked was "how does me writing our names in the sand make me any less of a man?"