Having an abundance mentality great in theory; but not reality.....(for girlfriend material)

[oc16]

I understand the scarcity mindset can lead to oneitis, jealousy, neediness etc, but I am a REALIST and don't really believe in lying to myself.

The abundance mentality makes sense and I like the message it gets across, but its just not reality for me and many others.

I mean, like a lot of other guys, you maybe meet a girl who is relationship material once or twice a year!

Of course, if you meet a girl you like and had a good first few dates "You will be ultra concerned about Not screwing it up".....because if you do......

Who wants to have to wait another year to find a connection.

Not trying to be negative; I am just a realist and don't like sugarcoating things if it ain't reality.

The Abundance mentality might only work if you are famous; are extremely good-looking or live in/near a big city where beautiful women are in your line of vision 360 degrees.

Just my two cents.

 

[JohnChops]

what? I am not getting this. Having the abundance mentality means that you will not have the negative thoughts of "Am I going to **** this up" in your head when you meet any girl, which will lead to the attraction phase being natural and smooth, versus rocky and forced. After a few first dates, you aren't going to know if a girl is LTR material, hell, married couples who have been together for 25+ years still don't know everything about the other person. Screening can only get you so far.

Personally, I like the abundance mind set. If you feel like you have no connection with your plates, and your goal is a LTR, then make "having good chemistry" with your plates a requirement. If you meet a girl and you click, add her to your mix, if not then toss her out. Therefore, you make a connection with all of your plates, and you have that void filled. However, it seems you are having trouble just finding girls to connect with in general. Is that the case?

 

[oc16]

what? I am not getting this. Having the abundance mentality means that you will not have the negative thoughts of "Am I going to **** this up" in your head when you meet any girl, which will lead to the attraction phase being natural and smooth, versus rocky and forced. After a few first dates, you aren't going to know if a girl is LTR material, hell, married couples who have been together for 25+ years still don't know everything about the other person. Screening can only get you so far.

Personally, I like the abundance mind set. If you feel like you have no connection with your plates, and your goal is a LTR, then make "having good chemistry" with your plates a requirement. If you meet a girl and you click, add her to your mix, if not then toss her out. Therefore, you make a connection with all of your plates, and you have that void filled. However, it seems you are having trouble just finding girls to connect with in general. Is that the case?

I guess what I am trying to say is, if you really don't have abundance, having the abundance mentality....you are kind of lying to yourself or delusional since it ain't reality.

Maybe I don't meet enough women; I think a lot of it has to do with the area. Jersey shore

 

[EyeBRollin]

I guess what I am trying to say is, if you really don't have abundance, having the abundance mentality....you are kind of lying to yourself or delusional since it ain't reality.

Maybe I don't meet enough women; I think a lot of it has to do with the area. Jersey shore

It has to become reality. You should be hustling 3-5 women at any given time.

The Jersey shore has an obscene amount of women. 30 million people are within a 2 hour drive. Get to work, mate.

 

[JohnChops]

I guess what I am trying to say is, if you really don't have abundance, having the abundance mentality....you are kind of lying to yourself or delusional since it ain't reality.

Maybe I don't meet enough women; I think a lot of it has to do with the area. Jersey shore

Aren't there a lot of girls out there? I have only been a few times. It is hard to have the abundance mentality, when you have no abundance! However, if you have ever had an abundance mentality (in a previous time) you can recall how you felt, and apply it to your current dating situation. Either way, keep it simple. As long as you don't get needy, and throw yourself at these girls, you will come off as if you have options.

 

[resilient]

As long as you don't get needy, and throw yourself at these girls, you will come off as if you have options.

This is an excellent attitude to have in times of scarcity or abundance. Neediness is the plague that kills attraction.