It feels like if you didn't do it right by college, you are playing catch up in a big way.

[Ambitious Player]

With women, friends, and all of the social stuff.

I have had the chance to interact with and meet various kinds of people around my age and it seems like the case with a lot of hot girls and guys that manage to get them, the common trend seems to be that they got it right either in high school or college. These guys went to the big state schools, rushed fraternities, expanded their social network (Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn), and built their social circle.

A lot of them had their fun in college and after that they either got married or they moved on with some of their friends to certain cities, then through their friends they met other friends and expanded their network that way. These are the people you see eating out together, going to bars/clubs together, and on some rare occasions having a house party together.

It seems like for most people such as hot girls and socially adjusted guys, this is where they got it right.

For those of us who did not get it right, it is like playing catch up in a big way.

Going out to approach girls, trying to find some friends to chill with, and trying to get that part of life right after college is a pain.

My problem is I made some good friends in college but most of them aren't really conductive to my goal of living the life I want to live (they don't like to go out to bars, look down on sleeping around with random women, and generally want a simple life of a wife and kids by 30). I had a tough time getting friends who were into that sort of stuff as they were in Greek Life and I decided not to rush, a mistake I regret a great deal.

Right now, I just feel like I am playing catch up in a big way.

Even with some higher tier girls, I feel like I am losing out on them due to not being in the right circles but worry if it might be too late to join those sorts of circles anyways.

 

[Trainwreck]

I disagree, I feel like middle school/high school are the places where the race pretty much ends.

1) A lot relationships and social circles come from home town/high school. Also, unless you go to a college with a lot of out of state students, former high school cliques will be dominant in popular state colleges like University of Georgia for example. If you go to some small private school in Chicago then this might not apply.

2) This environment is set up for you to learn how to talk to girls, lose your virginity, and etc. In college, the competition is just too high/girls are pretty much at their prime age/most relationships are high school or social network based, so it is harder for some Joe that spent his high school years playing video games instead of talking to girls.

Again, I live in Tennessee, so it might be a different scenario in a place like NYC.

 

[Serenity]

I was a social loser in school, stayed home a lot and played video games. Just talking to a girl sparked anxiety and I'd mostly avoid it. Now I'm one of those guys you see eating out together, going to bars/clubs together and on some rare occasions have house parties together.

I'm 25 now, I'm grateful I took my situation seriously and acted immideatly upon becoming aware of it. I suggest you kick yourself in the ass now, stop feeling sorry for yourself and get going. You're not getting any younger.

 

[Ambitious Player]

I was a social loser in school, stayed home a lot and played video games. Just talking to a girl sparked anxiety and I'd mostly avoid it. Now I'm one of those guys you see eating out together, going to bars/clubs together and on some rare occasions have house parties together.

I'm 25 now, I'm grateful I took my situation seriously and acted immideatly upon becoming aware of it. I suggest you kick yourself in the ass now, stop feeling sorry for yourself and get going. You're not getting any younger.

I am having some social success occasionally being out with friends for lunch and such but I don't really do so well with getting friends to go to bars or clubs together with.

My problem is finding a way into those social circles hot girls run in which it seems like Greek Life in college was a good chance at that but now, I wonder how that would work.

 

[btownbuck2012]

With women, friends, and all of the social stuff.

I have had the chance to interact with and meet various kinds of people around my age and it seems like the case with a lot of hot girls and guys that manage to get them, the common trend seems to be that they got it right either in high school or college. These guys went to the big state schools, rushed fraternities, expanded their social network (Facebook, Instagram, and LinkedIn), and built their social circle.

A lot of them had their fun in college and after that they either got married or they moved on with some of their friends to certain cities, then through their friends they met other friends and expanded their network that way. These are the people you see eating out together, going to bars/clubs together, and on some rare occasions having a house party together.

It seems like for most people such as hot girls and socially adjusted guys, this is where they got it right.

For those of us who did not get it right, it is like playing catch up in a big way.

Going out to approach girls, trying to find some friends to chill with, and trying to get that part of life right after college is a pain.

My problem is I made some good friends in college but most of them aren't really conductive to my goal of living the life I want to live (they don't like to go out to bars, look down on sleeping around with random women, and generally want a simple life of a wife and kids by 30). I had a tough time getting friends who were into that sort of stuff as they were in Greek Life and I decided not to rush, a mistake I regret a great deal.

Right now, I just feel like I am playing catch up in a big way.

Even with some higher tier girls, I feel like I am losing out on them due to not being in the right circles but worry if it might be too late to join those sorts of circles anyways.

Man this line of thinking is way out of wack. Boring is really the only word that comes to my mine when thinking about the kinds of people you describe. You're your own man. Do your own thing. Think of life as an adventure and not having the gang to hang with on the weekends. This isn't a sitcom dude.

 

[Serenity]

I am having some social success occasionally being out with friends for lunch and such but I don't really do so well with getting friends to go to bars or clubs together with.

My problem is finding a way into those social circles hot girls run in which it seems like Greek Life in college was a good chance at that but now, I wonder how that would work.

Go to bars and clubs alone then and make some friends there. It's the best place to find people who like to go to such places, else they probably wouldn't be there. Just start talking to people and go with the flow, when opportunities arise take them.

That's what I mean when I say "do something about it". You're not getting anywhere wishing your current friends would join you to bars and clubs, it's not gonna happen if they don't want to. That means you must explore alternative solutions and the next best option is going out alone, a solution which doesn't depend on your friends.