Depression & Frustration--Must Read

[Masculinity]

If you have ever felt depressed about the dating scene, making progress professionally, reaching your financial goals, life events (e.g. death if family members, divorce, health challenges) and milestones of life in general (e.g., getting older, realizing good women are scarce), you aren't alone.

The problem is a lot of us walk around with out problems bottled inside, believing other men around us are just fine (when they're just like us inside). You are not an outlier or an anomaly. There's nothing wrong with you or why you feel depressed. We live in a society that places very high expectations on males to be independent, leaders, well-off financially, good looking, tough but "sensitive," respecting of women but also brave guys, solving other people's problems, etc.

When it comes to us needing help from others, however, we're expected to take care of ourselves from head to toes--even as it relates to other men. We all have that exact principle ingrained in our minds. We have all failed multiple times and felt depressed with a weight on our shoulders that's too heavy to bear. Hence, it's important to have healthy relationships with other men who may have already gone through or are already going through the same issues and solved them in a positive way.

We don't have the support system available to women, due to "norms" about how we ought to behave as men. Screw all those rules. A healthy male is one that stands up for his mental and physical health. Having mentors in your life is key to your life development and survival--but not many men are willing to place ego aside and admit we don't have it all figured out. It's no wonder we die younger, commit suicide at an alarming rate and don't seek mental health professionals as much as women. Break out of that cycle. Keep on moving forward and don't be afraid to ask for help from someone you trust who will keep your business private.

 

[skinnyguy]

There are a lot of guys who keep their problems bottled up inside and instead act like chest beaters on SS or brag about lay count. Honestly I feel sorry for these guys because their lives aren't good and they really need help.

Me, I haven't slept with a ton of girls because of my high standards. I'd rather sleep with 5 hot ones than 100 average ones.

I have some family related baggage which I don't share on here cause most guys on here will just use it against me. But I have a few good male friends who I talk to and it's a huge plus in my life.

 

[resilient]

I've had a lot of help on here from other DJs over the years on sticking points in general game or LTR. I've also talked to my high school buddies on my own personal struggles, separation, divorce, and the post-divorce dating scene. However, none of them are red pill, for they are a mix of the pill colors. I don't accept 100% of the blame for my failed marriage, because I stuck around for years in depression while staying faithful and trying to work on my own insecurities, financial situation, and the relationship as a whole. I do blame my co-dependency, low frame, low self-esteem that lowered her IL.

The maturation process has helped me to accept more responsibility and own up to what I need to change about myself. I think you can invest hard into a LTR and hope the investment is reciprocal and that everything will work out post-honeymoon phase. Things could be going along smoothly than a blind-sided event(s) occur. Death of a family member. Loss of a long-term job. An auto accident. She walks out on the LTR for another monkey branch when her IL is running low and feels someone else can support in the present emotionally and physically.

What I'm learning is that whether or not a plate or main plate jumps ship or swaps branches, the best thing you can do is love yourself 100%. All the bad and the good. Be knowledgeable of what needs to improve to increase your SMV to leverage power in the dating scene. There's always going to be a guy that out earns you, taller, looks, financials, assets, personality, etc.

Be realistic that while she's "exclusive" to you in a LTR/marriage, she will entertain an upgrade if it happens to fall in her lap and the offer is too good to pass up. It may be a hard reality in today's world, yet the truth must sink in. OLD and social media have presented her with a buffet of guys to choose from. If she's kept her body in top shape, she'll receive more suitable offers than the average HB7. Plate spinning helps numb the sting of a breakup or her infinite options repertoire or the orbiters that circle your relationship like sharks.

Plate spinning is not the cure all we preach so often on this site. However, it's one of the tools in the box of self-development to use at your disposal.

Have a men's group that you hang out with be in an interest like racing cars, smoke cigars with, church buddies, poker night with the guys, etc.

Mentor's are great too if you find one that has a lot of life experience and success with women and career.

You'll feel less depressed and frustrated when you have a myriad of hobbies, interests, social spheres, families, work/school/career challenges to keep you busy enough and not obsessed with women. You'll feel happier and worry less about being alone.

There will be peaks and valleys in the ebbs and flow in life. That's a fact. It's okay to feel down and frustrated from time to time. Reconvene and carry on with your DJ life.

 

[wifehunter]

I'm over it...I don't date...I'll only spin plates, till I find gold. Too many plates to date, anyway...I'd go broke.

 

[shesabranchswinger]

Yeah you can only invest so much time and money in plates before it becomes a bad investment. I'll clip them and not bat an eye lid.

 

[skinnyguy]

I'm over it...I don't date...I'll only spin plates, till I find gold. Too many plates to date, anyway...I'd go broke.

Your handle is wifehunter though ...

 

[Konada]

I guess what most people don't realize is that by being on this site and putting effort into getting our issues fixed already sets us into the top 20% of people. Most people roll along life unaware of how they are living their lives, much less of their subconcious behaviors.

 

[shesabranchswinger]

Your handle is wifehunter though ...

A man can dream can't he, oh now your taking our dreams away

 

[Trump]

Bro you are living in a fantasy world.

You show any weakness to ANYBODY: Girlfriend, wife, family members, colleagues, teammates, or opponents, they will use it to fullest extent to DESTROY you.

Remember, people wouldn't mind if you were wiped off the face of the earth if they could BENEFIT from it. SS members would love it if other members got hit by a train if they could sleep with a hot actress.

But go ahead, reveal your weaknesses and insecurities and complexities to people. You'll be glad you did when they have used it to destroy you for their own gain.

 

[wifehunter]

Your handle is wifehunter though ...

Uhhh...beavis...

Yeah...about that...I'm not married, and I keep my hands to myself...I'm checking out options (7 plates)...all of them.

I figure if you're going to spend the rest of your life with someone...better explore all the options.

 

[wifehunter]

I guess what most people don't realize is that by being on this site and putting effort into getting our issues fixed already sets us into the top 20% of people. Most people roll along life unaware of how they are living their lives, much less of their subconcious behaviors.

That's encouraging, and a great point!

 

[wifehunter]

Yeah you can only invest so much time and money in plates before it becomes a bad investment. I'll clip them and not bat an eye lid.

I only drop for bad behavior or if my mind is made up aka found her.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

but not many men are willing to place ego aside and admit we don't have it all figured out.

This is the biggest problem of all. No one does this nowadays. Especially older people. They don't have the energy to be strong enough to admit wrongdoing. And not just men, women too. Men are worse though for the sole reason that telling them they are doing everything wrong insults more than just their pride as a person, it insults their pride as a man, or what they thought they as a man should stand by. To those who foolishly cling to those self-destructive beliefs in hopes of something greater despite constant warning and advice of others wiser, they are still expecting someone to give stuff to them rather than to get it themselves. To hell with those 'men'. Let them destroy themselves. They should not be here on this earth if they don't want to adapt. Let heir arrogance destroy them.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Bro you are living in a fantasy world.

You show any weakness to ANYBODY: Girlfriend, wife, family members, colleagues, teammates, or opponents, they will use it to fullest extent to DESTROY you.

Remember, people wouldn't mind if you were wiped off the face of the earth if they could BENEFIT from it. SS members would love it if other members got hit by a train if they could sleep with a hot actress.

But go ahead, reveal your weaknesses and insecurities and complexities to people. You'll be glad you did when they have used it to destroy you for their own gain.

Only your deepest and darkest secrets. If it's just a surface-level 'secret' then they won't necessarily. You can actually use that to gauge what kind of person they are and how trustworthy they are. I do agree though that you should never ever tell someone about your weaknesses or insecurities. Never.

 

[SmooveMooves]

The best thing a man could do for mental health is hangout with close friends. People you absolutely love who mean a lot to you. This is your support. The only real support you will have in this world. Utilize it.

 

[wifehunter]

This is the biggest problem of all. No one does this nowadays. Especially older people. They don't have the energy to be strong enough to admit wrongdoing. And not just men, women too. Men are worse though for the sole reason that telling them they are doing everything wrong insults more than just their pride as a person, it insults their pride as a man, or what they thought they as a man should stand by. To those who foolishly cling to those self-destructive beliefs in hopes of something greater despite constant warning and advice of others wiser, they are still expecting someone to give stuff to them rather than to get it themselves. To hell with those 'men'. Let them destroy themselves. They should not be here on this earth if they don't want to adapt. Let heir arrogance destroy them.

Yes, very common, they are fools.

Only your deepest and darkest secrets. If it's just a surface-level 'secret' then they won't necessarily. You can actually use that to gauge what kind of person they are and how trustworthy they are. I do agree though that you should never ever tell someone about your weaknesses or insecurities. Never.

My weakness is chocolate!

 

[Masculinity]

Bro you are living in a fantasy world.

You show any weakness to ANYBODY: Girlfriend, wife, family members, colleagues, teammates, or opponents, they will use it to fullest extent to DESTROY you.

Remember, people wouldn't mind if you were wiped off the face of the earth if they could BENEFIT from it. SS members would love it if other members got hit by a train if they could sleep with a hot actress.

But go ahead, reveal your weaknesses and insecurities and complexities to people. You'll be glad you did when they have used it to destroy you for their own gain.

That's exactly the attitude that has us trapped with our problems bottled up inside: being skeptical, distrusting, paranoid, etc. I'm not advocating for complete disclosure to anyone. And if a friend uses information about you against you, it's time to ditch them and make better friends.

 

[Tenacity]

It's all about balance.

You can take myself for example. I openly display my emotions on here, discuss how I'm feeling and give an honest account of shyt. And people will routinely take that and USE it against me. We could be discussing "the weather" and somebody will randomly bring up "Tenacity's issues".

The thing is this.....the world doesn't owe you shyt and the world only cares about you when you can benefit it. There's no such thing as unconditional love, every "love" has a condition tied to it. We are very much like appliances to the world, nobody gives a FVCK how the refrigerator or microwave "feels" lol, just that they continue to WORK the want we want them to WORK, and if not, we replace them.

Your friends and family do not love you unconditionally either. Many times when you grow, develop, or succeed in ways that surpasses them, they get uncomfortable because you are no longer in the "role" you are supposed to be in.

With that being said, here's some general rules from "Tenacity":

- We are all on this Earth for a VERY SHORT period of time (less than 100 years).

- Set some goals and get out of this life what YOU want.

- Understand this world was fvcked up when you got here and all of the problems in the world aren't YOUR fault and you have NO power to fix them.

- Don't take everything BAD that happens to you personally, like it's ALL your fault. This "you are the only common denominator" mantra is bullshyt because you are NEVER the only common denominator in anything because you don't exist in a fvcking vacuum. There's ALWAYS surrounding environmental, social, cultural, political, economical, etc., market forces at play that you have NO control over.

- Accept women for the flawed individuals that they are and learn to enjoy them for what they still bring (sex and companionship). Stop looking for unicorns, high quality people, etc., because there are NO such things.

- Trust but verify.

- Finally, remember that the most powerful thing you can do in this World is have your finances together. Money gives you options to move, to change jobs, to sit back, to travel, to afford decent healthcare, etc. Without Money....you are very limited in this World.

 

[Damiannt]

Indeed, life is hard most of the time and brings many beautiful but ugly moments that affect and destroy us. Depression is the result of our actions, and our actions in certain situations. It's important do not forget about our happiness and fulfillment as people. We do not need to be destroyed when an obstacle or difficulties arise in our life. We should always find the strength in us, to smiling, because this is just a bad moment, not a whole day. It is important to invest in our own development and deal with what brings us pleasure, so as not to have time for negative thoughts.

 

[Epicenter]

It is theoretically easy. Learn to get used to pain or even love it.