MatureDJ
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2006
- Messages
- 11,293
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According to this women, it seems so:
https://medium.com/@emmalindsay/whose-pain-counts-6e6b3dd287f5
https://medium.com/@emmalindsay/whose-pain-counts-6e6b3dd287f5
This response is great:Many years ago, I had sex with a man when I didn’t want to. I said no a thousand times, then said yes once, so I consented. It’s not rape.
At least, I think I said yes. It was so long ago I’m not even sure at this point. But, I must have, I told my therapist. I’m sure I did.
Who are you trying to convince? she asked me.
Every time I call him a rapist, in my head, I hear the voice of a thousand men protesting. But you said yes! You’re a hypocrite! You consented, so it’s your own fault.
My own fault. I said yes so it’s my own fault.
At least, I think I said yes. I don’t actually remember saying yes. But, I must have, right?
Let’s assume I said yes.
Why does one little yes undo a thousand nos? End of the day, he knew I didn’t want to have sex with him. Because I said no. Repeatedly. Over and over. So, why did he keep asking? And, why did I “say yes?”
Because, in that moment, I believed the pain he would experience if he did not get sexual release was more important than the pain I would experience by having sex I didn’t want. Because he kept asking me. Why would he keep asking me if he wasn’t going to feel a lot of pain?
I was wrong though. That sexual encounter has haunted me for years. I can’t imagine having to jack off would have caused him anything more than a night of irritation.
I see — so if a woman repeatedly asks a man to buy her an expensive piece of jewelry, and he declines every time, but finally gives in because he’s become tired of the nagging, by your heuristics, that woman has robbed him.