I Keep Going Off/Getting Worse

[Tenacity]

I don't know, creating this thread might be a chance for the various people who hate Tenacity for various reasons (such as my belief that PUA is stupid or me being a "money guy") might open up an opportunity for them to bash me, but I have to make light of a problem I'm continuing to have that I haven't been able to resolve yet.

- Since March of 2010, I have dated well over 200 women, the vast majority are black women and are HB6 and higher. The vast majority of those 200 women I have fvcked as well. Most women I come across would label me as attractive, cute, handsome, etc.

- So I'm getting women and I'm seen by women as attractive.

- But I have NOT gotten over the entire aspect of women having liked in the Past, like currently, or can potentially like in the Future.....a thug/criminal/deadbeat. I CAN'T GET OVER THIS.

- Due to not being able to get over this, if I find out that a current woman I'm dating/fvcking has dated a thug/criminal/deadbeat in the Past or even if I think she might possibly date one in the future...it's only a matter of time before I cuss her out, snap on her, and just go the fvck off. Of course the moment I do this or if I do this too many times, the girl ends up blocking me. The issue is that I don't think there's a woman alive (black, white, etc) that HASN'T been with a thug/criminal/deadbeat.

- In addition, when I look at my Mother, Sisters, or Nieces and find out they been with a thug/criminal/deadbeat (like my Mother was with my Father for example who I consider a deadbeat) I get VERY pissed off at them and go off on them as well.

I'm trying to get to a point where I stop going off, but honestly, internally, I can't seem to get over the fact that a woman has in the Past, or might in the Future, date/fvck a man who:

* Sells drugs to his own people

* Kills his own people

* Goes in and out of jail

* Makes kids and doesn't Father them

* Does FAR worse to the girl in terms of physical and verbal abuse, because when I'm "going off on them" they always try to say I'm verbally abusive, but what THAT GUY did to her was 1,000X worse and she didn't immediately CUT him off

I mean this situation is similar to the entire Nice Guy v.s. Bad Boy debate that happens on a wider scale, but it's not completely the same thing because I'm actually getting laid! I'm actually getting dates! I just feel as though the thug/criminal got it first and got more loyalty out of the girl in many of the cases, not all cases, but many of them.

Note: And oh yeah, I already talked to a therapist, didn't help me none.

 

[The Duke]

Would you like to be judged for something in your past or worse yet your future that your haven't done yet? Everybody does things that they shouldn't have but as long as it doesn't define them as a person then its not fair to hang them for it.

You have to change your mindset or keep failing as you are. Perhaps we all learn and grow from mistakes made in the past?

 

[sazc]

With all due respect and sincerity, you need a better/different therapist and to start with your personal family issues.

That aside - do you immediately mentally next these females if you find this in their past? Or are you at least screening this piece of info by asking "how did that relationship go?" "What qualities did you see in that person that made you attracted to them?" " Would you date that type of person again?"

People do realize their "mistakes" and make decisions to do better moving forward. If you aren't screening to see if the female has evolved from those days, you may be missing out. A self evolving person should be regarded higher than someone who hasn't.

If you don't care if she has evolved, the whole idea leaves a bad taste in your mouth, that IMO is childhood shiz you need to deal with.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Let's not delve into the whole psycho-overanalysis bull$hit. Of course therapists dont help. "How do you feel about that?"

Look Tenacity, even when i first signed up here, I recall some threads back then of guys telling you to move. You haven't and here it is years later and you are still in the same rut.

You can either take charge of the situation and do something about it, or......well, continue posting threads like this complaining to us. Meanwhile you're not getting any closer to finding LTR quality pu$$y that you want. Oh, but your job? Career? Had you started on actually making a move years ago, I'd be willing to bet you'd be sitting pretty in a new location of your choice where you don't have to put up with this thug life bull$hit anymore.

 

[Tenacity]

Asian and many sheltered white "cute" girls haven't done this.

But I'm black? Realistically those girls are going to choose the white version of Tenacity over the black version.

Anyway, your whole issue is so hung up on LTR, you are DESPERATE for a LTR. For fun and short term relationships, her past doesn't matter.

I completely agree with you, there's a aspect of me right now where I want to do something more serious and deep, thus, these questions about why they dated and could potentially date thugs/criminals NEED to be answered because I'm not a thug/criminal.....so I need to know am I really liked by these women or what? Yes, they are dating/fvcking me, but why? Why don't like the thug/criminal anymore? Is there some sort of agenda here? I can't get my questions answered.....

 

[Tenacity]

Would you like to be judged for something in your past or worse yet your future that your haven't done yet? Everybody does things that they shouldn't have but as long as it doesn't define them as a person then its not fair to hang them for it.

People do realize their "mistakes" and make decisions to do better moving forward.

But here's my question for you guys, was it really a MISTAKE? Or was it a deliberate choice? You see if someone trips, falls, and scraps their knee.....no, I'm not going to hold them to the fire for that because they were not deliberately looking to scrap their knee.

However...........

- When you scroll through black music and all the women are singing about/worshipping thugs

- When you scroll through Facebook and there's NO pics of any black woman talking about how good her Black Engineer, Doctor, or Lawyer is, but if she has a pic of a guy up, it's ALWAYS some thug, criminal, dope dealer......

- When 8 out of 10 black single mothers you date, the baby father(s) is/are ALWAYS the thug/criminal/deadbeat

- When you remember being 16 - 25, and black women DELIBERATELY told you that you spoke like you were white, you were too smart, and DELIBERATELY ran over to date thugs, criminals, and drug dealers.

- Then finally......when you join the Manosphere and discover there's a wider scale Nice Guy v.s. Bad Boy situation that white guys go through, which is basically the white version of the Black Educated/Decent Guy v.s. The Thug/Criminal situation in the black community......

Then how can you guys say it was a MISTAKE? I don't see it as a mistake, I see it as a deliberate choice that they made in the Past and that they COULD make again in the Future....which makes me not trust them.[/QUOTE]

 

[Tenacity]

Let's not delve into the whole psycho-overanalysis bull$hit. Of course therapists dont help. "How do you feel about that?"

Look Tenacity, even when i first signed up here, I recall some threads back then of guys telling you to move. You haven't and here it is years later and you are still in the same rut.

You can either take charge of the situation and do something about it, or......well, continue posting threads like this complaining to us. Meanwhile you're not getting any closer to finding LTR quality pu$$y that you want. Oh, but your job? Career? Had you started on actually making a move years ago, I'd be willing to bet you'd be sitting pretty in a new location of your choice where you don't have to put up with this thug life bull$hit anymore.

The honest reason I haven't moved yet in relation to this.......is because I don't know where to move to? This is happening wide scale across the board, everywhere in America.

I don't think there's a black or white woman ALIVE that hasn't been with a thug or criminal in some capacity. Where exactly am I supposed to find an American woman that hasn't done this and move to that particular area where they all reside? Does that area even exist?

Like even the women on this board, like BeExcellent, Penkitten, and SAZC....I'm willing to bet you they have been with thugs/criminals at some point in time as well.

 

[Trainwreck]

The honest reason I haven't moved yet in relation to this.......is because I don't know where to move to? This is happening wide scale across the board, everywhere in America.

I don't think there's a black or white woman ALIVE that hasn't been with a thug or criminal in some capacity. Where exactly am I supposed to find an American woman that hasn't done this and move to that particular area where they all reside? Does that area even exist?

Honestly we're screwed. You can go to Europe but it's the same **** different paint job over there. Instead of Tyrone the dead beat you'll compete against Mutumbo the street thug from Senagal. Our only hope is to just keep searching for that unicorn and stick with her. PUA/game is for white guys and guys that don't care about the quality of women they are screwing.

 

[Trainwreck]

The white girls I do want don't go for black guys and the black girls I want are either in to thug black guys or white guys. I'm too black for white girls and too white for black girls haha.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

The honest reason I haven't moved yet in relation to this.......is because I don't know where to move to? This is happening wide scale across the board, everywhere in America.

I don't think there's a black or white woman ALIVE that hasn't been with a thug or criminal in some capacity. Where exactly am I supposed to find an American woman that hasn't done this and move to that particular area where they all reside? Does that area even exist?

Like even the women on this board, like BeExcellent, Penkitten, and SAZC....I'm willing to bet you they have been with thugs/criminals at some point in time as well.

WTF are you talking about? Because of your experiences where you live then this MUST be the case across the whole nation? Oh, someone else posted a reply and basically said the same thing. It must be true! My life is totally over!

That's bro-science in action right there yet again.

That's the same level of bro-science I see on other RP message boards with guys trying to act like they're scientifically intelligent on some issue. I remember reading on another RP board about one saying that if you want to last longer in bed, you should not only do kegel exercises but also exercise your anal muscles. He went on to describe how to do this and stated that you should focus while taking a #2 to hold it midway for a count of 5 and repeat. I'm sitting there thinking "wtf is this guy on?" Stuff like that can cause medical problems with relation to the development of hemorrhoids, but that didn't stop dozens of people liking this idiot's post.

I must socialize with the wrong people. All of the women I know from church or my friends' wives have never previously dated a thug or someone with criminal records along the lines of drug dealers or pushers of any kind. But hey, dont let that stop you from believing it's completely hopeless these days even to the point of including international women.

 

[Tenacity]

I must socialize with the wrong people. All of the women I know from church or my friends' wives have never previously dated a thug or someone with criminal records along the lines of drug dealers or pushers of any kind. .

Are you sure bro? Have you really investigated/digged through the situation or are you just assuming that based on how "professional" the women look today?

And listen bro, I've done research on this. Social media is huge. Black educated men are reporting the same problems wide scale in all portions of America and even in other countries. This is not just something Tenacity is going through.

 

[Tenacity]

Are you capable of integrating new information into your analysis or is this just a depressive phase where new information cannot penetrate your loop?

Yes, I'm capable of the integration. I'm very concerned right now Bro because I keep going off....I'm getting older and it's getting worse. If I keep doing this it's going to end up bad for me.

I honestly don't know what the solution is. If it's honestly a MISTAKE that these women did, I can let go of that. But it doesn't look like a MISTAKE, it looks like it was and is a deliberate choice based on whatever reason. And because it's a deliberate choice...........I don't know...........I just want to seek fvcking revenge. I want them to SUFFER.

 

[FairShake]

You are the most unhappy dude who bangs 25+ new women every year with which I've ever had the pleasure of interaction.

Perhaps you should focus on something other than women because clearly even success isn't bringing you happiness.

Also I know plenty of Black women looking for good guys. Maybe you should come to Philly. The idea all Black women date thugs is as tired as the idea that all Black men are thugs. It's usually someone's excuse for their own insecurities. The truth isn't black or white (pun not intended) but a long shade of gray.

 

[Tenacity]

You are the most unhappy dude who bangs 25+ new women every year with which I've ever had the pleasure of interaction.

Because it goes deeper to me. I find it immoral what women have done with the thugs/criminals shyt and I feel as though I need to do something about it. As crazy as that sounds (and maybe I am fvcking crazy) but that's how I feel and it's a strong feeling. That strong feeling goes above and beyond a girl dating/fvcking me, she can be dating/fvcking me but if I discover she dated a thug/criminal in the Past....trust me....that bytch is about to get cussed the fvck out.

Perhaps you should focus on something other than women because clearly even success isn't bringing you happiness.

Nope........I want them to suffer for what the fvck they did.

Also I know plenty of Black women looking for good guys.

Then if that were the case, we wouldn't be having this conversation man. Myself and the MILLIONS of black men across America would not all be saying the same thing man. We can't ALL just be wrong or insecure or crazy man.

 

[FairShake]

Then if that were the case, we wouldn't be having this conversation man. Myself and the MILLIONS of black men across America would not all be saying the same thing man. We can't ALL just be wrong or insecure or crazy man.

I don't think you're crazy or MILLIONS of Black men are wrong or insecure. Millions of people can be victims of groupthink or prone to exaggeration.

After all MILLIONS of Black women will complain how there are no "Good Black Men" and only dogs and thugs.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

But here's my question for you guys, was it really a MISTAKE? Or was it a deliberate choice? You see if someone trips, falls, and scraps their knee.....no, I'm not going to hold them to the fire for that because they were not deliberately looking to scrap their knee.

However...........

Are you sure bro? Have you really investigated/digged through the situation or are you just assuming that based on how "professional" the women look today?

And listen bro, I've done research on this. Social media is huge. Black educated men are reporting the same problems wide scale in all portions of America and even in other countries. This is not just something Tenacity is going through.

You are your own worst enemy. Guys here give you good advice, you throw it back at them. This also not the first time you've done this. It gets tiring reading your 'woe is me' attitude posts, you simply lack the desire to effect the necessary change. What it the necessary change? That is defined by the problem you specify which you have told us about time and again. Based on your own OP, you date 28 women/year. If those numbers are not bringing you what you want, you know the solution. You lack the willpower to make it happen because it's easier to come here and lament about it.

 

[BetterCallSaul]

Oh one other thing....In the time between this reply and my one from about an hour ago, I went outside and took a walk to clear my head from work. As I was heading back in just a couple blocks away, I saw a reasonably well dressed black dude buying popsicles for himself and his 4-5 year old daughter. Thug life though right? He MUST have a criminal background.

 

[sazc]

Nope, I've never dated anyone with a criminal record, a thug, etc. I've always looked for men who were motivated to be professionals/were professionals. I partly screen based on education level.
The only way you know they believe they made a mistake, an err in judgement, is if you have a very casual conversation about it and they tell you this, without you prompting or leading them there.

 

[sazc]

You want these females to suffer because you feel they are openly validating the mindset a lot of your family has, and that angers you when you realize that you made the deliberate choice to be better and you feel no one feels that valuable

 

[Trump]

Bro you are angry because the hundreds of girls you slept with slept with thugs first? Isn't that the definition of narcissism? They are guys on here that can't even sleep with ONE girl.

It's so weird. We complain and complain and complain that we can't get good looking girls to
sleep with us. Then when we can get good looking girls to sleep with us, we complain and complain that they the fell in love with guys who weren't as good as us and slept with them first.

You can't have it all.