Girl is in love with my Beta Qualities

[AlexKaiser]

So a girl I had on my list actually approached me, wanted to set up a time to hang out, smoke weed and get to know each other better. The thing is, she was going on and on about how i'm admirable, how she wanted to give me props to whoever raised me because I was not a piece of **** to everyone I met. How she liked my artwork and how down to earth I was. She liked how I listened to her and didn't turn everything into a way to talk about myself. She invited me into her car, and while she was gushing about me, I kept thinking about her ex, which is the exact opposite. AKA, he actually worked out, spun plates, dished out his attention like diamonds and kept it very rare. He got to **** her, then turned her away when he got bored, broke her heart.

I kinda told her that I wanted to be like her ex BF because I wanted to tear up hot girls, and that being nice and polite and all that stuff is a terrible idea. The comment shocked her and she was saying stuff like "please don't there are too many *******s in the world" and "there aren't enough guys like you out there".

I was about to tell her to say hi to any greasy gamerfag she met on the street and he would be as polite and "admirable" as I was, maybe even more because they're more deluded than I was, but I just shrugged and said I'd consider it. So she wanted me to tell her next time I get off so we can spend time together.

Not sure where I should go from here. A simple "show me dem tiddies AAAAAAAAY LMAO swag" probably won't work. I just want her to quit wasting my time. This reeks of a "friend" situation, but not sure how to handle it without burning potential to bed her.

 

[SeymourCake]

I did not read your wall of text, but based on what you wrote on your title, I can assure you that she is in love with that fact that she can exploit your beta qualities and manipulate you for her own benefit.

Edit: Okay, so I read the first sentence. Question, who had the weed in the first place?

Be on a lookout for red flags. She is clearly stroking your ego. If you react to that, then you will also react to how she destroys it when the time comes.

 

[wifehunter]

How cute, you're friends! !! Keep it up, if you like being her teddy bear.

 

[AlexKaiser]

How cute, you're friends! !! Keep it up, if you like being her teddy bear.

Oh hell no.

What is the least blue-pilly way to tell her to **** off and I'm not interested in being friends?

 

[wifehunter]

Oh hell no.

What is the least blue-pilly way to tell her to **** off and I'm not interested in being friends?

Go NC, and see if she chases.

 

[AlexKaiser]

I did not read your wall of text, but based on what you wrote on your title, I can assure you that she is in love with that fact that she can exploit your beta qualities and manipulate you for her own benefit.

Edit: Okay, so I read the first sentence. Question, who had the weed in the first place?

Be on a lookout for red flags. She is clearly stroking your ego. If you react to that, then you will also react to how she destroys it when the time comes.

She had the weed, wanted to smoke with me before she moved away.

 

[SeymourCake]

She had the weed, wanted to smoke with me before she moved away.

Well it's a good sign that she was the one who provided it. Just don't be a disposable emotional tampon to her. Read The Book of Pook.

 

[zekko]

because I was not a piece of **** to everyone I met. How she liked my artwork and how down to earth I was. She liked how I listened to her and didn't turn everything into a way to talk about myself.

None of those things are beta traits, IMO.

I kinda told her that I wanted to be like her ex BF because I wanted to tear up hot girls, and that being nice and polite and all that stuff is a terrible idea

This sounds try hard to me.

All you needed to do in a situation like this is escalate, and her response will tell you what you need to know, whether you are in the friend zone or not. I guess since she's moving away, it's a moot point anyway. But if she has a history of dating @ssholes, I would take that as a red flag.

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

All you needed to do in a situation like this is escalate, and her response will tell you what you need to know, whether you are in the friend zone or not

That's pretty much it. Don't worry about, don't think about it, don't pursue it. But if you find yourself near her again make a move, and see how she responds.

 

[cola]

The qualities you described are not beta. I dont even believe in alpha or beta..

But lets do away with the misconception you need to be a complete douche to get girls. The only girls that behavior attracts are low quality.

Just be real with girls. If you are a nice guy by nature be nice. Just have a backbone. Speak up when you feel you are being used and make your intentions clear.

Lets remember a "nice guy" in our community is a guy who is nice to girls in expectation of a reward (sex, commitment) in that way he isn't actually a true "nice" guy. He is actually manipulative.

So genuine "nice" people are actually rare. And if you are genuinely nice, a good listener and arent just doing it for sex, that's a great quality.

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

That's not beta unless you put her before yourself or before others who came before her (i.e cancelling a hangout with your bros because she hit you up is beta, but if she contacted you first, telling your friends no is not beta). Those aren't bad traits to have. If someone starts talking and it seems like you are actually LISTENING to them with your full undivided attention, they really appreciate you for it.

Women crave attention, REAL attention. Most guys are either jerks or wimps. The jerk will just straight up not listen to her or maybe even make fun of what she is saying. The wimpy nice guy will just drink her words just because he is desperate and thinks she is hot, not because he actually respects her as a person. Both of these guys don't respect her as a human being, just as a hot body to have sex with.
If you are able to look past the pvssy and talk to her like someone, then you are the type of guy who she will remember for the rest of her life.

If I were you, I would tell her straight up why you said the stuff you said (only if she brings it up though). You just have to say it in a non-abrasive way that she can understand. Like maybe "I don't know, I mean we're taught to judge people by their actions rather than their words, and girls always say how they want a guy who actually listens to them and cares about them, yet always fall for guys like your ex. You aren't the only girl who's said that before. It just gets to a point where like, if girls fall in love with jerks instead of nice guys, why be a nice guy? Why not just be a jerk?"

That's just what I would say. In reality though, I know why they fall for them, and it's much more complex than that. They still want those characteristics that you have about listening and caring, but they just want you to have a backbone at the same time. I can tell that you haven't read The Secret of the Jerk yet if you think these are beta traits. Go look at that thread right now, it will give you some major insight into it. Long read but totally worth it bro, it will blow your mind:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/the-secret-of-the-jerk.17008/

 

[bigneil]

You finally found a girl who WANTS someone who is clearly not the best!

THAT'S it!

 

[SeymourCake]

The qualities you described are not beta. I dont even believe in alpha or beta..

But lets do away with the misconception you need to be a complete douche to get girls. The only girls that behavior attracts are low quality.

Just be real with girls. If you are a nice guy by nature be nice. Just have a backbone. Speak up when you feel you are being used and make your intentions clear.

Lets remember a "nice guy" in our community is a guy who is nice to girls in expectation of a reward (sex, commitment) in that way he isn't actually a true "nice" guy. He is actually manipulative.

So genuine "nice" people are actually rare. And if you are genuinely nice, a good listener and arent just doing it for sex, that's a great quality.

Maybe we should give a different label to the manipulative "nice guy" to differentiate him from guys who are genuinely kind to avoid further confusion.

 

[blind_one]

@AlexKaiser

Don't listen to her words, let her actions speak. She might not even know what she is talking about.

I just want her to quit wasting my time. This reeks of a "friend" situation, but not sure how to handle it without burning potential to bed her.

How about making a move on her ?
I don't see a damn point in overanalysing !@#$ like this if you want to bag her, just escalate, she is clearly interested so what are you waiting for ? Ask her out , set up the logistics and pull the trigger.

If you need some guidance do not hesitate to ask for it

 

[Trainwreck]

According to this site, the only men that get laid are roided out aggressive jersey shore acting bros with Make America Great Again hats.

 

[blind_one]

According to this site, the only men that get laid are roided out aggressive jersey shore acting bros with Make America Great Again hats.

Funny you say that ....

You have to be fluid just like in sales and what was written in the Art of Seduction, you cater to your target in some ways.

Always adapt and if you care and care about conquering and/or keeping a girl you might want to diversify.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

Maybe we should give a different label to the manipulative "nice guy" to differentiate him from guys who are genuinely kind to avoid further confusion.

Let the nice guy be the nice guy. The genuine/ authentic one is the great guy.

 

[cityboy989]

But if she has a history of dating @ssholes, I would take that as a red flag.

Unless she's finally "done" with the bad boys and is looking to settle with a beta provider. (Though i find that this is typically just a phase for some girls after they've recently had their heart broken. "Where's all the nice guys at???") It's a possibility, but we all know that girls who chased after the bad boy type, at some point succumb to their deep-rooted desire of being with a bad boy or even just having a one-nighter with a bad boy.

 

[bigneil]

Unless she's finally "done" with the bad boys and is looking to settle with a beta provider.

Here we go again with the "Rich and Ugly" (blue zone) or "Hot and Broke" (red zone) polarization. Don't forget about the bad boy provider (purple zone) and the beta broke guy (black zone) options.

 

[Serenity]

Might be that she's intentionally looking for the opposite of her ex, because she didn't enjoy him. I wouldn't say being an a-hole is alpha, an a-hole is just an a-hole.

What is beta is to not act because you're unsure. Just make moves, escalate physically and that's enough. I haven't had a problem with having a friendly tone and having it get sexually heated. More often than not it's very effective, because you're not part of the common dichotomy of nice guy or bad guy. So many guys think they have to choose between being an a-hole or a complete doormat, but there's a middle road where you're relatively nice and comfortable being with and still lead.