Was she interested?

[casanova_goat]

Last Wednesday, I went on a date with a chick. She and I met up for an hour around lunch time (the only time she could do it). She insisted on paying for both our drinks on account of being late. I usually take a women's offer to pay on a first date as a bad sign but perhaps these were extenuating circumstances. The date was overall pleasant but I had trouble gauging if it had gone well.

Nonetheless, once she got off work, she texted me: "Hey! It was nice to officially meet you. Hope to see you around sometime soon". Now, I don't know if I have that much attraction to this chick but it was nice to have her reach out to me after the date and be ostensibly interested.

I texted her this afternoon for the first time since we had spoken on Wednesday night. I asked her how her weekend had gone and figured to eventually set up a 2nd date. Well, she didn't respond. She may tomorrow but I'm wondering if her follow-up text on Wednesday Night was more of a formality for her with guys she does not fancy?

Quite honestly, I don't really care what the outcome is. It was, however, nice being led to believe a chick was interested in me (and she still may be). Been running bit of a dry spell lately.

 

[devilkingx2]

Not kissing a girl on the first date is always the baddest of bad signs

 

[lizardking82]

The text was to send you out smoothly. She's gone, bro. Forget about her, move on. You're on a dry spell, that's why you're posting about her. You think you'd be posting about her if you had 5 more dates lined up for this week?

 

[cola]

Nonetheless, once she got off work, she texted me: "Hey! It was nice to officially meet you. Hope to see you around sometime soon". Now, I don't know if I have that much attraction to this chick but it was nice to have her reach out to me after the date and be ostensibly interested.

That text tells me she isn't interested.

Never do a lunch first date btw.

 

[Masculinity]

Not kissing a girl on the first date is always the baddest of bad signs

Not always. If the guy didn't kiss because he's a wuss then yes. But if you didn't kiss because you went in for it and the girl is shy or doesn't want to kiss right away, I think you're okay. I actually had girls who didn't want to kiss on the first date. Needless to say those led nowhere because I move at a faster pace than these chicks.

 

[devilkingx2]

Not always. If the guy didn't kiss because he's a wuss then yes. But if you didn't kiss because you went in for it and the girl is shy or doesn't want to kiss right away, I think you're okay. I actually had girls who didn't want to kiss on the first date. Needless to say those led nowhere because I move at a faster pace than these chicks.

If the girl seems like the shy and inexperienced type then it's okay, as with all things you must take it case by case.

I'd say that if she just didn't want to kiss "that early" that would either be a sign of low interest or intentionally holding out on you to some end or another (most likely not an end to your benefit)

If you try and kiss her and she doesn't let you, go ghost on her to see if she comes after you then forget about her imo

 

[Plums]

Last Wednesday, I went on a date with a chick. She and I met up for an hour around lunch time (the only time she could do it). She insisted on paying for both our drinks on account of being late. I usually take a women's offer to pay on a first date as a bad sign but perhaps these were extenuating circumstances. The date was overall pleasant but I had trouble gauging if it had gone well.

Nonetheless, once she got off work, she texted me: "Hey! It was nice to officially meet you. Hope to see you around sometime soon". Now, I don't know if I have that much attraction to this chick but it was nice to have her reach out to me after the date and be ostensibly interested.

I texted her this afternoon for the first time since we had spoken on Wednesday night. I asked her how her weekend had gone and figured to eventually set up a 2nd date. Well, she didn't respond. She may tomorrow but I'm wondering if her follow-up text on Wednesday Night was more of a formality for her with guys she does not fancy?

Quite honestly, I don't really care what the outcome is. It was, however, nice being led to believe a chick was interested in me (and she still may be). Been running bit of a dry spell lately.

I think she can tell you aren't that in to her. Did you respond to her text? Because if you didn't she would have taken that as fact. If you had of been really in to her, you would have replied.
I wouldn't bother yourself with following up on this one.

 

[mikey2012]

Last Wednesday, I went on a date with a chick. She and I met up for an hour around lunch time (the only time she could do it). She insisted on paying for both our drinks on account of being late. I usually take a women's offer to pay on a first date as a bad sign but perhaps these were extenuating circumstances. The date was overall pleasant but I had trouble gauging if it had gone well.

Nonetheless, once she got off work, she texted me: "Hey! It was nice to officially meet you. Hope to see you around sometime soon". Now, I don't know if I have that much attraction to this chick but it was nice to have her reach out to me after the date and be ostensibly interested.

I texted her this afternoon for the first time since we had spoken on Wednesday night. I asked her how her weekend had gone and figured to eventually set up a 2nd date. Well, she didn't respond. She may tomorrow but I'm wondering if her follow-up text on Wednesday Night was more of a formality for her with guys she does not fancy?

Quite honestly, I don't really care what the outcome is. It was, however, nice being led to believe a chick was interested in me (and she still may be). Been running bit of a dry spell lately.

It DIDNT work out. She did you a favor from stringing you along and making you an orbiter. Go find other women.

 

[casanova_goat]

Thanks everyone for the responses. I'll respond to each comment:

- I didn't attempt to kiss her on the first date. Instead we embraced. Perhaps I should have gone in for a kiss but I've had successful first dates where I didn't kiss. One particular chick declined my kiss on the first and second date but she was interested. On the third date we hooked up. Hard to tell.

- I'm surprised a woman would send out a follow-up text, nearly 12 hours after the date, if she were not interested? I mean the wording could be construed as "send off smoothly-ish" but why would you encourage a guy you had no interest in by saying "hope to see you around sometime soon"? I've had many bad dates in my time and I can't remember a time where there was actually contact following those dates. I mean I would make one fruitless follow-up text the following day before moving on.

- I did respond to her text on Wednesday night and we bantered a bit. But then there was a gap of 4 days before I texted her. Perhaps I waited too long -- but is 4 days really a deal breaker? It's not exactly 3 weeks. To play devil's advocate, had I texted her the following day, some would say I had texted her too soon and came across as thirsty. But, she may have gathered that I was not interested and moved on.

- Like I said, it was not my choice to do a day date, well the choice I had was a day date or nothing at all. She works 1-10pm every day. I had proposed getting drinks after she got off work but she said "how do I know you're not a serial killer? "

 

[casanova_goat]

It DIDNT work out. She did you a favor from stringing you along and making you an orbiter. Go find other women.

Orbiter? I think you guys take this stuff too far. I didn't give much thought to her at all those 4 days and went hiking all day on Saturday. If anything, NOT being in her orbit is what cost me a chance at a 2nd date.

 

[wifehunter]

She's probably spinning plates that require no texting.

 

[AlphaNate]

Was she interested?

No. If she was, you'd know and wouldn't have to ask us. Girls with high interest won't confuse you.

 

[Building_and_Loan]

Honestly it doesn't really look like you did anything wrong here. I would have kissed her after establishing some kino on the date but sometimes first dates are just get-to-know-you type deals, especially if you two don't know each other at all.

She's just not interested, so no need to over-analyze here. Move on.

 

[casanova_goat]

No. If she was, you'd know and wouldn't have to ask us. Girls with high interest won't confuse you.

That is very true but I was confounded by her follow-up text. It's the thing an interested chick would do. Up until the point my text went unanswered I had believed she was interested and waiting for me to text her.

 

[casanova_goat]

Honestly it doesn't really look like you did anything wrong here. I would have kissed her after establishing some kino on the date but sometimes first dates are just get-to-know-you type deals, especially if you two don't know each other at all.

She's just not interested, so no need to over-analyze here. Move on.

Well I have moved on. If she texts me, I'd probably go on a 2nd date. Otherwise I'm not wasting time on her. The reason for this thread was a bit of postmortem. Her behavior after the date was suggestive of interest and contrary to the behavior of uninterested women I have come to know.

 

[devilkingx2]

- I didn't attempt to kiss her on the first date. Instead we embraced. Perhaps I should have gone in for a kiss but I've had successful first dates where I didn't kiss. One particular chick declined my kiss on the first and second date but she was interested. On the third date we hooked up. Hard to tell.

if you didn't kiss her it wasn't a successful first date. getting the second date only means you didn't completely botch the first date.

 

[nismo-4]

A first date only went well if you get a second date. Anything else is moot.

Here, your princess is in another castle. She would have responded if she had interest. You think she'd forget to respond to Kevin Durant or Lebron James? Hell no, just like you'd remember to respond back to Shakira or Kate Upton.

Move on, no analysis needed. Sorry bro.

Case closed.

 

[Thorninmyside]

"hope to see you around sometime soon"

You got hung up on the wrong part. "See you around" was the send off. A keen girl doesn't want to take her chances on "some time", otherwise she'd have written "Let's do it again soon".

 

[casanova_goat]

Sorry to resurrect this "dead" thread but, for the sake of the annals of SoSuave, I'd like to tell you how it resolved.

On Saturday night (err... morning) I passed by her (the subject of this thread) and her friends and made a half-assed attempt to say hello. Only one of her friends saw me, who was with her the time I asked her out. Once I got home, I immediately got a text from the chick:

"Hey! I apparently walked right by you tonight! I'm so sorry! I'm completely sober so I don't have much of an excuse. I hope you're having a great night!"

Then I went on to say, something to the effect, oh your friend must have told you I passed by. Then she went on to say that she had actually told her friend the other day that the date must have gone badly because she had never heard back from me. Apparently, she never received the text I had sent her the following Sunday.

 

[RedZone]

The text says it all. Ever see a friend around you really don't want to hang with and after you leave you say, "Yeah, let's get together soon."? Well, same thing applies here. If she was really interested she would be like "we should totally hang again." But what do I know? Maybe she is interested. Girls are weird creatures.