Back again, my GF is adding people from her past

[Julian]

gf has disloyal an slooty behavior

 

[randalljohnson]

Another thread, another "cluster B" woman.

Every man that can't game his way out of a paper bag is dealing with a "cluster B". Whatever happened to some humility?

She isn't "cluster B". She's low-interest, and she isn't seriously looking to settle down with you. She isn't all in on you.

And that's fine. There are loads of women out there that are like that.

What are you going to do about it?

Don't call her silly names on here, don't keep stalking her Facebook, looking after her kids whilst she goes on a girl's holiday, or making seriously the 55th thread on the same exact issue.

Don't think you are going to solve it by working harder at your job, or by starting to bench press, or whatever other stupid sh*t people come out with.

What are you actually pragmatically going to do with the sensory data that the set is providing you?

It seems alot of people on here recently have been scolding people for diagnosing others with a mental illness. I do know she had a dysfunctional/damaged childhood, mental illness runs in her family, and she enjoyed alot of sex when she was single. So it's definitely not out of the question that she may have BPD or HPD or whatever it may be

What am I going to do, you ask? It's like a mindfvck for me. She adds past sexual partners, but also adds past platonic friends. She adds past sexual partners, but still posts pics of us on Facebook. It's hard to see if she's ACTUALLY trying to entertain her past sexual partners (i.e. losing interest in me) or if shes doing it strictly out of curiosity. What is your opinion?

 

[Glassguy]

It seems alot of people on here recently have been scolding people for diagnosing others with a mental illness. I do know she had a dysfunctional/damaged childhood, mental illness runs in her family, and she enjoyed alot of sex when she was single. So it's definitely not out of the question that she may have BPD or HPD or whatever it may be

What am I going to do, you ask? It's like a mindfvck for me. She adds past sexual partners, but also adds past platonic friends. She adds past sexual partners, but still posts pics of us on Facebook. It's hard to see if she's ACTUALLY trying to entertain her past sexual partners (i.e. losing interest in me) or if shes doing it strictly out of curiosity. What is your opinion?

My opinion is you stop trolling the forums with ridiculous posts about this woman....that is if the situation is even fact and not all made up.

My opinion is that you take the 10000 posts telling you the same thing and stop asking the same fvcking questions and expecting a different answer.

My opinion is that you go back into your moms basement and whack off some more to porn or start paying attention in high school class because you sound like a 9th grader that is jacking around on here.

But that's just my opinion.

 

[cityboy989]

My opinion is that she's a plate whom you erroneously promoted to girlfriend.

And women don't take well to deescalation of a relationship at all.

If I were you, I'd stop giving a fvck. Stop taking the relationship serious.

Shag her until the wheels fall off whilst starting an exit strategy. Or you could just dump her, and save yourself some headache.

I agree, plate material. Judging by her tumultuous past and all that-- she clearly sees him as a white knight captain save a ho.

Randall, I remember you saying how she'd keep posting on FB how the last punk she dated was cute, but when she talks about your looks, she makes backhanded swipes at you: saying you look creepy, sarcastically calling you irresistible, etc. Judging by her past, it seems like looks have always been important to her. Maybe shes maturing and not solely judging by looks now, but the fact that she likes to bust your balls about your looks, indicates to me that she's trying REALLY hard to stay interested in you. She's trying hard to go against what she REALLY wants to do, which is to sleep with men who she finds attractive. But she's still in that "I want stability" mindset, thus she's currently still with you. She's envious of her friends getting married and maybe she feels like a slvt because she's a single mom and she's slept around alot. You also said you attracted crazies in the past. She's a dysfunctional damsel in distress, and you're a dysfunctional captain save-a-hoe. Oh yeah, and you both have kids from prior relationships. This is going to blow up at some point, imo. And she will become your next "crazy ex." You give too much to these damaged women, and when they're done milking you dry, they dump you and you cry woe is me and call them psychos. But you've never learned from your mistakes. Perhaps after this relationship ends (and I'm sure it will,) maybe you can finally realize.

 

[randalljohnson]

Wow. Do you people agree with cityboy here?

 

[AlexKaiser]

I think you really want her despite all of our warnings, and you're kinda waiting for us to just tell you to keep pursuing her, and that "it will work out in the end".

She knows she has you hooked, the fact that you've been posting about her on here is obvious. She has indoctrinated you and is molding you into who she wants you to be, and who she finds amusing at the time.

My advice, break it off. If she messages you first, shows signs of worry or whatever, then she's invested in you somehow. The fear of losing you MIGHT make her behave. If not, if she can be like "k bye" and move on as if you never existed, then you do the same.

 

[Desdinova]

Over these last few months, my girlfriend has been re-adding a bunch of people from her past on FB. Some of them were strictly platonic friends (one is even a female), but she's also been re-adding former flames/FWB? Why?

This is why low-mileage women are much more worth seeking out than women who have been on the c0ck carousel. They don't have a checklist of men they've fvcked.

my girlfriend

Why are you rewarding this garbage woman with exclusivity? That's like keeping and rewarding a dog who enjoys 5hitting on your bed.

 

[cityboy989]

Yes 100%

See Randall, I'm not the only one who feels that way

And Randall, I don't know what you or your girlfriend look like, but if you claim she dated mostly "prettyboy-badboys" in the past and the only thing she has to say about your looks is that you look creepy in your pics or just making backhanded swipes about your looks, I don't think you could even have her as just a plate. Because I truly believe she wouldn't have been interested in you as a fling or FWB, because you're not really her type. She wouldn't have pointed you out and said "he's cute! I want to date him!" You've already established she doesn't think you're very attractive. I don't think you're somebody she willingly would seek out to have sex with.

Part of the definition of Captain Save-A-Ho, is a man who gets a hot (but damaged) woman who he wouldn't have been able to get with in the first place, if she wasn't in such a vulnerable state. You caught her in a vulnerable state when she was craving companionship, craving somebody to "treat her right ", and craving for "stability" for her and her kid.

It's true, some women do sleep around and then marry the beta provider in their 30s. But she sounds too dysfunctional for this to ever lead to marriage. She also claims to want stability, but she can't stay still. Her eyes often seem to be wandering. And that's likely due to her not having her physical satisfaction met in her relationship with you. And also, she has daddy issues and we all know that hole can't be filled by one person anyway.

Bottom line, she got with you so she can feel good about herself because you're a white knight who likely slobs all over her, and she enjoys it. She's also probably self-conscious about being a slvt, so now, she can take an extended break from her slvtting while she's with you, Captain Save-A-Ho. As I said previously, you're a white knight in her eyes. And probably a rebound, too. This relationship has an expiration date on it. She WILL get bored of you. She WILL use up your resources and then likely dump you once you have filled up her emotional tank.

 

[Billtx49]

See Randall, I'm not the only one who feels that way

And Randall, I don't know what you or your girlfriend look like, but if you claim she dated mostly "prettyboy-badboys" in the past and the only thing she has to say about your looks is that you look creepy in your pics or just making backhanded swipes about your looks, I don't think you could even have her as just a plate. Because I truly believe she wouldn't have been interested in you as a fling or FWB, because you're not really her type. She wouldn't have pointed you out and said "he's cute! I want to date him!" You've already established she doesn't think you're very attractive. I don't think you're somebody she willingly would seek out to have sex with.

Part of the definition of Captain Save-A-Ho, is a man who gets a hot (but damaged) woman who he wouldn't have been able to get with in the first place, if she wasn't in such a vulnerable state. You caught her in a vulnerable state when she was craving companionship, craving somebody to "treat her right ", and craving for "stability" for her and her kid.

It's true, some women do sleep around and then marry the beta provider in their 30s. But she sounds too dysfunctional for this to ever lead to marriage. She also claims to want stability, but she can't stay still. Her eyes often seem to be wandering. And that's likely due to her not having her physical satisfaction met in her relationship with you. And also, she has daddy issues and we all know that hole can't be filled by one person anyway.

Bottom line, she got with you so she can feel good about herself because you're a white knight who likely slobs all over her, and she enjoys it. She's also probably self-conscious about being a slvt, she can can take an extended break from her slvtting while she's with you, Captain Save-A-Ho. As I said previously, you're a white knight in her eyes. And probably a rebound, too. This relationship has an expiration date on it.

Agreed, he's only the buffer or spacer between her last and next real BF.

 

[cityboy989]

Agreed, he's only a buffer or spacer between her last and next real BF.

Her relationship with her next real BF probably won't be a good one either. Not only has she made poor choices in men in the past, but she sounds like a dysfunctional drama-magnet with a host of issues such as daddy issues, and likely some forms of personality disorder. She'll never get it right.

 

[Billtx49]

She'll never get it right.

Yes. A disordered woman rarely, if ever does get it right because her pathology overrides a normal females behavior. It has an effect on Every decision she makes about men resulting in a life full of confusion, chaos, and unhappiness for her. Then she gets too old to pull a man, gives up, and gets a dog or cat…

 

[cityboy989]

Yes. A disordered woman rarely, if ever does get it right because her pathology overrides a normal females behavior. It has an effect on Every decision she makes about men resulting in a life full of confusion, chaos, and unhappiness for her. Then she gets too old to pull a man, gives up, and gets a dog or cat…

Yup. As I said, some women marry their providers. But this girl has some deep issues that I don't think she's even capable of achieving stability. Maybe if shes really desperate and if the man is desperate enough too (Randall.) But realistically, I don't see it. But I'm sure Randall will come back and say "but she called me her soulmate and said how good I am to her and her kid!!"

 

[cityboy989]

Randall, be honest with us, what are some of the things she's said to you that were the biggest headscratchers to you? Other than her making digs at your looks and participating in sketchy online behavior with other men (including re-adding people from her past whom things ended badly between,) what are some things that even YOU might consider red flags? I'm sure there's more.

 

[randalljohnson]

This is why low-mileage women are much more worth seeking out than women who have been on the c0ck carousel. They don't have a checklist of men they've fvcked.



Why are you rewarding this garbage woman with exclusivity? That's like keeping and rewarding a dog who enjoys 5hitting on your bed.

Garbage woman? Really?

 

[randalljohnson]

Randall, be honest with us, what are some of the things she's said to you that were the biggest headscratchers to you? Other than her making digs at your looks and participating in sketchy online behavior with other men (including re-adding people from her past whom things ended badly between,) what are some things that even YOU might consider red flags? I'm sure there's more.

Not too much else that I haven't shared.

Let me think..

When we first started dating she mentioned a couple times in conversation about her messed up childhood and said how she's "ruined."

She said how she used to push people away who tried to be there for her, but I think she grew out of that because she hasn't really done that with me. She seems to like when I shower her with affection and whatnot.

Her mood seems to swing pretty often because of the drama and stress she puts herself under. One day she'll post pics of something we did, or maybe she'll Share something on facebook and write how we're soulmates, then the next night she'll post a grim status about whatever drama may be going on with her and she'll write stuff along the lines of "if it's not one thing it's another" "can't take it" "broken" etc.

She has bad anxiety, sometimes it flares up and puts her in pretty bad moods. She's been on anxiety meds for years. When it flares up like that, even the meds are hard to control it unless she takes alot.

 

[cityboy989]

Not too much else that I haven't shared.

Let me think..

When we first started dating she mentioned a couple times in conversation about her messed up childhood and said how she's "ruined."

She said how she used to push people away who tried to be there for her, but I think she grew out of that because she hasn't really done that with me. She seems to like when I shower her with affection and whatnot.

Her mood seems to swing pretty often because of the drama and stress she puts herself under. One day she'll post pics of something we did, or maybe she'll Share something on facebook and write how we're soulmates, then the next night she'll post a grim status about whatever drama may be going on with her and she'll write stuff along the lines of "if it's not one thing it's another" "can't take it" "broken" etc.

She has bad anxiety, sometimes it flares up and puts her in pretty bad moods. She's been on anxiety meds for years. When it flares up like that, even the meds are hard to control it unless she takes alot.

Dude..

 

[Desdinova]

Garbage woman? Really?

You haven't posted anything to make me think otherwise. Let's look at her "qualities":

she's also been re-adding former flames/FWB

she followed an ex BF on IG a while back

She has a promiscuous past and a dysfunctional upbringing

she's 30

her whole life has been dysfunction

Idk if me not being in her profile pic is due to a lack of commitment on her part or if she doesn't wanna scare off her orbiters, etc.

mental illness runs in her family, and she enjoyed alot of sex when she was single.

she mentioned a couple times in conversation about her messed up childhood and said how she's "ruined."

Her mood seems to swing pretty often because of the drama and stress she puts herself under

She's been on anxiety meds for years. When it flares up like that, even the meds are hard to control it unless she takes alot

Yup, that all screams "relationship material" right there. Why don't you put a ring on her finger and marry her?

A woman with this many problems is IMO a waste of time if you're having more than a passive lay with her.

 

[cityboy989]

You haven't posted anything to make me think otherwise. Let's look at her "qualities":

Yup, that all screams "relationship material" right there. Why don't you put a ring on her finger and marry her?

A woman with this many problems is IMO a waste of time if you're having more than a passive lay with her.

Yeah really. Mind you, that's not even ALL the red flags. I remember Randall mentioning other red flags. I think he made a thread specifically listing all of her red flags.

 

[randalljohnson]

You haven't posted anything to make me think otherwise. Let's look at her "qualities":












Yup, that all screams "relationship material" right there. Why don't you put a ring on her finger and marry her?

A woman with this many problems is IMO a waste of time if you're having more than a passive lay with her.

She's charming and sexy, and there's just something intangible about her that drew me in. Most people don't come on these forums and discuss the good parts of their relationships. Most people come on here when they have problems or worries. Right?

 

[Desdinova]

She's charming and sexy

...and this is the basis to reward her with exclusivity? Beauty is common. You can find another good looking woman who isn't as fvcked up as this one. You'll have to give a better reason to reward her with a LTR status.

Most people don't come on these forums and discuss the good parts of their relationships. Most people come on here when they have problems or worries. Right?

People come on here looking for answers. You can bytch and moan about how crappy your GF is anywhere. You get answers, but you continue to justify why this woman is worth your time, energy, and devotion regardless of how terrible she is. When she's 55 years old, she's no longer going to be sexy, unless you enjoy saggy tits, stretch marks, a droopy ass, and a vagina you can stir soup in. You'll be left with all her defects that no longer measure up to the definition of "sexy". When she's going through menopause, she won't be "charming" while she's getting hot flashes and growing facial hair.

The problem with women today is people like you who reward bottom-of-the-barrel garbage. Women won't get better if men like you don't raise your standards and demand a good woman for exclusivity.