Frustrated, lonely, and feeling down

[GoodOne123]

I have been feeling like this recently.

I realised that I was not getting the love life I desired from women. Which is to have fun with the loose types, and date seriously a good girl type if I find them.

What makes it frustrating is that I know I'm a good looking guy. I've had women tell me I'm a 10 of 10. I've had girls check me out a lot. I have a fairly muscular and athletic body too. I've even had straight guys admit im handsome.

I also have a lot going for me career wise.

What I've noticed however is that my problem may be my confidence. I'm scared to approach in parties or daytime situations, mainly based on the fact that I don't want the girl or anyone else watching me to think that I am a weirdo or very desperate or make a fool out of me.

I think this fear may partly come from my experience of being bullied in high school, and my slight introverted nature.

I'm angry at myself because I have every reason to be confident, but I'm not. And it has impacted achieving one of the main goals I have in life, which is to be successful with women and find my soulmate.

Action I have taken so far is to read Roger Alan curries "mode one". I'm hoping this book will change my beliefs about myself and improve my confidence.

I also am trying to find ways to go out more by asking what my friends are doing and joining them. I don't have many close friends so I was thinking about going out to clubs or bars alone, but I feel strange if I do this.

I've signed up to tinder and hot.or.not, but I'm a bit sceptical if these apps will be useful, and I've heard they're a waste of time. I feel reluctant to start talking to my matches and I don't know what to say. I hope I don't look desperate or wierd since I'm on these apps.

I have lost lots of chances with girls who may have been the love of my life. This is so frustrating to me. Just recently a nice girl handed me a leaflet at my doorstep and I talked to her, but for some reason I didn't ask for her number. I felt that we had a connection, and the thought that I may have lost my soulmate kills me.

Seeing others being confident and striking succsess with women makes it all worse. I know that I should be like them by now, I should have been like them ages ago, but I'm still not.

All I know is I need to somehow fix my problem and the loneliness that I have, it's almost too much to bear now.

 

[Konada]

Sounds like its time to take a break from the world and hibernate in your man-cave. I'll write a detailed post when I get home but for now answer this simple question:

What things apart from women make you feel fulfilled in life? Are you doing those things?

 

[GoodOne123]

Sounds like its time to take a break from the world and hibernate in your man-cave. I'll write a detailed post when I get home but for now answer this simple question:

What things apart from women make you feel fulfilled in life? Are you doing those things?

I find it fullfilling to reach high levels in my career, like a project manager someday. I like weightlifting, combat sports, playing pool, and playing music.

I'm already working on my career, but I'm not really doing the hobbies I stated anymore. The exception may be weightlifting, but I do it partly to attract women with my body.

The way I feel is that the area of love and relationships is so underdeveloped and lacking in my life, that it is making me unhappy and reducing my performance in other areas of my life too. It's consuming my thoughts.

I feel I need to solve this problem, and prove to myself, and everyone else, that I can.

 

[Initiatedindenial]

My friend I feel for you. You are just overthinking it. Just interact with women, trust me, most of them are not that special.

If you have all those asseets going on for you, your only obstacle is to grow the courage to take initiative. I understand, is not easy, even nowadays from time to time I relinquish taking initiative on a woman out of fear.

Why would you look like a weirdo if you approach a woman? That's the natural thing if you are interested into meeting someone. You will get rejections, but you have to internalise that someone's rejection doesn't determine your self worth.

Finally, you want a connection too bad, this is dangerous because you might get involved with the wrong person out of needyness.

 

[darksprezzatura]

It's great you know where you are lacking in life and verbalising your difficulties.
As a detached observer, I see you:
1. Self deprecating and believing you are frustrated and depressed
2. Qualifying yourself to us by stating the approvals you get
3. Focusing on the approval and flattery of people and internalising them
4. Using the words 'love of my life'
5. You've stopped doing things which you like and lift weights with the motivation to attract women, investing in their frame all the more.


It's awesome you are ambitious and trying to improve.

These words might be tough love.

Get the fvck out there and do what you like to do, develop concrete frame and focus on YOURSELF. The party starts where you are.

 

[Augustus_McCrae]

I have been feeling like this recently.

I realised that I was not getting the love life I desired from women. Which is to have fun with the loose types, and date seriously a good girl type if I find them.

What makes it frustrating is that I know I'm a good looking guy. I've had women tell me I'm a 10 of 10. I've had girls check me out a lot. I have a fairly muscular and athletic body too. I've even had straight guys admit im handsome.

I also have a lot going for me career wise.

What I've noticed however is that my problem may be my confidence. I'm scared to approach in parties or daytime situations, mainly based on the fact that I don't want the girl or anyone else watching me to think that I am a weirdo or very desperate or make a fool out of me.

I think this fear may partly come from my experience of being bullied in high school, and my slight introverted nature.

I'm angry at myself because I have every reason to be confident, but I'm not. And it has impacted achieving one of the main goals I have in life, which is to be successful with women and find my soulmate.

Action I have taken so far is to read Roger Alan curries "mode one". I'm hoping this book will change my beliefs about myself and improve my confidence.

I also am trying to find ways to go out more by asking what my friends are doing and joining them. I don't have many close friends so I was thinking about going out to clubs or bars alone, but I feel strange if I do this.

I've signed up to tinder and hot.or.not, but I'm a bit sceptical if these apps will be useful, and I've heard they're a waste of time. I feel reluctant to start talking to my matches and I don't know what to say. I hope I don't look desperate or wierd since I'm on these apps.

I have lost lots of chances with girls who may have been the love of my life. This is so frustrating to me. Just recently a nice girl handed me a leaflet at my doorstep and I talked to her, but for some reason I didn't ask for her number. I felt that we had a connection, and the thought that I may have lost my soulmate kills me.

Seeing others being confident and striking succsess with women makes it all worse. I know that I should be like them by now, I should have been like them ages ago, but I'm still not.

All I know is I need to somehow fix my problem and the loneliness that I have, it's almost too much to bear now.

The girl handed you a leaflet, you spoke with her, and now you think you lost your soulmate and the thought kills you.

Step back for a minute and think about this. Seriously?

Read everything at therationalmale.com starting with the earliest stuff.

Work on yourself and what you like to do that has nothing to do with women.

-Augustus-

 

[GoodOne123]

What kind of shape are you in? Body fat percentage?

I'd say my body is like a middleweight boxer. Perhaps I am a tad less lean and have a bit more muscle.

I'm not sure about my exact percentage. But I know that my abs and obliques are only slightly showing. They'll show a bit more if I flex. I need to diet a bit to get a full six pack.

 

[SmooveMooves]

Read the DJ bible again.
Read 48 laws of power again.
Practice.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

It's pretty courageous of you to put your fears & insecurities on display and doing so allows you to really examine them, as you have.

It's been my experience in life that some of the most beautiful/handsome people in the world are also the most insecure & neurotic. Why?

They may not ever develop who they are inside the attractive package because they are constantly externally validated for their appearance. They do not feel worthy of all the attention and don't like the limelight associated with the attention...and this can have a nasty side effect of greater awkwardness inside.

OR it is too hard to discern if someone else values you for how you meet their needs rather than because you are a cool person. Rich people deal with this constantly also.

All because what the world tells you is rather different than what YOU tell you.

You have to be your own best friend, your own advocate, your own biggest promoter. Right now you don't feel that way. You live and die by external opinion and fear related to potential external opinion. Read all the stuff the guys said...but do a couple of exercises as well. Your mind adjusts to retraining just like your body does.

1. Smile at yourself in the mirror when you wake in the am, before bed at night & while getting ready to go out.

2. When you smile at your self say something affirming out loud to yourself..."Boy you ARE a handsome devil..." Whatever fits your personality. Do it every day. No excuses.

3. Go to a happy hour, a crowded one. Get a single seat at the bar. Smile at the person next to you and ask how their day is. Then be quiet & let them chat. If the conversation drops ask them what is good there...for recommendations. Let the conversation ebb & flow. You'll be somewhat self conscious but nobody will know that. Smile & ask little questions & relax. Practice smiling & these little nothing conversations. Doing this will help you learn by doing. Do this twice a week, same place, for a month. Next month do a new place...same thing. Third month, alternate.

Before you know it your self consciousness will dissolve and you'll know a couple of bar keeps. Dealing with this type of anxiety requires being scared and doing it anyway.

Nobody will ridicule you...nobody will bite you.

Start today and report back. That's your homework

 

[Tenacity]

What I've noticed however is that my problem may be my confidence. I'm scared to approach in parties or daytime situations, mainly based on the fact that I don't want the girl or anyone else watching me to think that I am a weirdo or very desperate or make a fool out of me.

The reality is that women can be bytches.......just for the hell of it. So I honestly don't conclude that it's just a "lack of confidence" every time when you see a chick and would like to talk to her, but don't, because you honestly don't feel like being embarrassed today. Some days I just don't give a fvck and go talk to the bytches, then some days, I'm like I just don't have time for it.

Don't blame yourself for this. I talk to a lot of chicks who routinely tell me that many guys DON'T approach them and why would they? The chick is unapproachable.

one of the main goals I have in life, which is to be successful with women and find my soulmate.

There is no soulmate and success with women only PEAKS at getting consistent sex/companionship on rotation from "decent looking women" (at least HB6 and higher). That's it, that's the PEAK. There's nothing else. There's nothing deeper.

Now, you can of course marry one of these chicks if you want, but she's not your soulmate. She's just a chick you are dating/in relationship with, but you decided to bring the Government and it's stupid a.ss laws into your bedroom. WHEN you break up, the Government and it's stupid a.ss laws will cause you all sorts of distress.

I've signed up to tinder and hot.or.not, but I'm a bit sceptical if these apps will be useful, and I've heard they're a waste of time. I feel reluctant to start talking to my matches and I don't know what to say. I hope I don't look desperate or wierd since I'm on these apps.

OLD is where it's at. Many of the Manosphere folks will say that OLD is trash, well, the current market of American Women is trash. OLD women don't drop out of Planet Venus, they are women in your ZIP CODE!

Seeing as though many bytches are flat out unapproachable these days, OLD is where it's at. It's an important tool in your toolbox to meet women. Period.

 

[fastlife]

What I've noticed however is that my problem may be my confidence. I'm scared to approach in parties or daytime situations, mainly based on the fact that I don't want the girl or anyone else watching me to think that I am a weirdo or very desperate or make a fool out of me.

I think this fear may partly come from my experience of being bullied in high school, and my slight introverted nature.

I'm angry at myself because I have every reason to be confident, but I'm not.

Confidence is created through two avenues. Thought and Action. The two must be in alignment always--anything else is cognitive dissonance. But notice I said Action and not Results. Results aren't entirely within your control, but the actions you take and the feelings you have about the results are.

I cover Thought here:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/create-your-own-confidence-how-to-be-you.233590/

But Mindset by itself is impotent and limp. You have to use correct Thought to inform Actions you take in the real world. No excuses. Yeah, sometimes you'll look like a tool, or a creep, or whatever. But you know what happens? The sun rises the next morning. You still have all your limbs. Your friends and family still love you. And everyone moves on. Everything bad (within reason) is just in your head.

And it has impacted achieving one of the main goals I have in life, which is to be successful with women and find my soulmate.

Only one of these goals is legitimate. The other is fantasy. If you take Action one of these goals is attainable. If you correct your Thought your desire to achieve the other vanishes.

I also am trying to find ways to go out more by asking what my friends are doing and joining them. I don't have many close friends so I was thinking about going out to clubs or bars alone, but I feel strange if I do this.

Stick to your comfort zone and expect the same results you're getting now.

I've signed up to tinder and hot.or.not, but I'm a bit sceptical if these apps will be useful, and I've heard they're a waste of time. I feel reluctant to start talking to my matches and I don't know what to say. I hope I don't look desperate or wierd since I'm on these apps.

I have lost lots of chances with girls who may have been the love of my life. This is so frustrating to me. Just recently a nice girl handed me a leaflet at my doorstep and I talked to her, but for some reason I didn't ask for her number. I felt that we had a connection, and the thought that I may have lost my soulmate kills me.

Welp. Gotta look cool to strangers on the internet you'll probably never meet & who will forget you entirely within the end of the week when they have 300 new matches.

Seeing others being confident and striking succsess with women makes it all worse. I know that I should be like them by now, I should have been like them ages ago, but I'm still not.

All I know is I need to somehow fix my problem and the loneliness that I have, it's almost too much to bear now.

Stop comparing yourself to other people. Everyone is at a different stage of this journey with their own strengths & weaknesses. Enjoy yours and trust that if you take the right steps you'll get there eventually (and since you're not doing sh1t now, just taking a step or two a day will double or triple your rate).

I have two other threads that expand on some of these points:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/good-and-bad-emotions.233067/#post-2430903
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/threads/stagnation-at-sosuave-when-frame-is-weakness.233309/

 

[Trump]

I have been feeling like this recently.

I realised that I was not getting the love life I desired from women. Which is to have fun with the loose types, and date seriously a good girl type if I find them.

Bro no one cares what you desire. Offer something of value to a woman, fill a need of a woman, and you
will see results. Your "desire" is Disney, fantasy, princess thinking. You are watching too many movies.

What makes it frustrating is that I know I'm a good looking guy. I've had women tell me I'm a 10 of 10. I've had girls check me out a lot. I have a fairly muscular and athletic body too. I've even had straight guys admit im handsome.

Good looking gets you in the door. If you can't talk, attract, hold their attention, offer something of value, your looks are pointless. Unless you are a Hollywood actor.

What I've noticed however is that my problem may be my confidence. I'm scared to approach in parties or daytime situations, mainly based on the fact that I don't want the girl or anyone else watching me to think that I am a weirdo or very desperate or make a fool out of me.

I think this fear may partly come from my experience of being bullied in high school, and my slight introverted nature.

Bro how can you be doing awesome "career wise" and then think like this. Your job would destroy if you are afraid to approach a girl who has slept 10 guys and is looking to make a sucker out of the 11th.

I have lost lots of chances with girls who may have been the love of my life. This is so frustrating to me. Just recently a nice girl handed me a leaflet at my doorstep and I talked to her, but for some reason I didn't ask for her number. I felt that we had a connection, and the thought that I may have lost my soulmate kills me.

Seeing others being confident and striking succsess with women makes it all worse. I know that I should be like them by now, I should have been like them ages ago, but I'm still not.

All I know is I need to somehow fix my problem and the loneliness that I have, it's almost too much to bear now.

Bro as soon as you say you may have lost your "soulmate", any girl with a little bit of experience is going to make your head spin in her sleep.

You don't need read books. You don't need look in the mirror. You need go out and get your head spin, get taken advantage of, get screwed over, get laughed at, made fun of, and then you will get confidence.

How do you guys have good jobs and date girls, yet are so afraid of everything and so naive? If you see what people are capable of, you will harden up in 5 minutes.

Wake up men.

 

[GoodOne123]

Advice from the old lady:

It's pretty courageous of you to put your fears & insecurities on display and doing so allows you to really examine them, as you have.

It's been my experience in life that some of the most beautiful/handsome people in the world are also the most insecure & neurotic. Why?

They may not ever develop who they are inside the attractive package because they are constantly externally validated for their appearance. They do not feel worthy of all the attention and don't like the limelight associated with the attention...and this can have a nasty side effect of greater awkwardness inside.

OR it is too hard to discern if someone else values you for how you meet their needs rather than because you are a cool person. Rich people deal with this constantly also.

All because what the world tells you is rather different than what YOU tell you.

You have to be your own best friend, your own advocate, your own biggest promoter. Right now you don't feel that way. You live and die by external opinion and fear related to potential external opinion. Read all the stuff the guys said...but do a couple of exercises as well. Your mind adjusts to retraining just like your body does.

1. Smile at yourself in the mirror when you wake in the am, before bed at night & while getting ready to go out.

2. When you smile at your self say something affirming out loud to yourself..."Boy you ARE a handsome devil..." Whatever fits your personality. Do it every day. No excuses.

3. Go to a happy hour, a crowded one. Get a single seat at the bar. Smile at the person next to you and ask how their day is. Then be quiet & let them chat. If the conversation drops ask them what is good there...for recommendations. Let the conversation ebb & flow. You'll be somewhat self conscious but nobody will know that. Smile & ask little questions & relax. Practice smiling & these little nothing conversations. Doing this will help you learn by doing. Do this twice a week, same place, for a month. Next month do a new place...same thing. Third month, alternate.

Before you know it your self consciousness will dissolve and you'll know a couple of bar keeps. Dealing with this type of anxiety requires being scared and doing it anyway.

Nobody will ridicule you...nobody will bite you.

Start today and report back. That's your homework

I like that idea. I want to do that, as well as go other places more often. I could also just sit in a coffee shop and do some reading as well. It's definitely something that I will experiment with.

I'm tired of going straight home from work, not letting people see me. Feeling like I'm not putting myself out there.

I'm also tired of not being as confident as I want to. I aim to become a fully confident man, inside and out. I'm not going to stay being this wallflower anymore, I can't stand it much longer.

 

[skinnyguy]

Start thinking about people other than yourself. You will be unhappy as long as you feel like you should be getting more out of life (which you haven't earned).

 

[Urbanyst]

OP, I think your main issue is assuming everyone else has their sh*t together.

Most people walking around are just as insecure and broken as you are. Once you realize that, the confidence issue goes away FAST.

Also, try the Bumble App. Much better than Tinder.

 

[Dingo]

Maybe you're just BPD......... Kidding.

Sounds like you got a lot going for you... You'll figure it out...

Solid advise given.

 

[GoodOne123]

I'm glad you posted this because I've been in the same rut. I also consider myself very attractive also have many people telling me this quite often. Just like you, I can't seem to approach in any type of situations, even though I purposely go out and put myself in a spot that have opportunities to approach.

I believe the reason why I can't approach is because since a child I've always been alone. I've always played on my own and had my parents keep me sheltered.

The only thing that goes through my thoughts is also fixing my issue with women, to the point where I have no motivation for anything else, not doing good at my job, also think it's effecting my health.

95% of the things you mentioned is happening to me.

Hopefully we can work together to improve ourselves. It's always nice having someone start at the same level.

Good luck my friend

Glad to know others benefit from my post.

My parents also kept me sheltered a fair deal. As a result I value being independent more than the average person.

Guys who moved out on their own at a young age tend to develop their confidence and independence early, and become better with women as a result.

All I know is it's time for me to change, and I'm not postponing it anymore. I wish you good luck too man.

 

[Konada]

I have been feeling like this recently.

I realised that I was not getting the love life I desired from women. Which is to have fun with the loose types, and date seriously a good girl type if I find them.

What makes it frustrating is that I know I'm a good looking guy. I've had women tell me I'm a 10 of 10. I've had girls check me out a lot. I have a fairly muscular and athletic body too. I've even had straight guys admit im handsome.

I also have a lot going for me career wise.

What I've noticed however is that my problem may be my confidence. I'm scared to approach in parties or daytime situations, mainly based on the fact that I don't want the girl or anyone else watching me to think that I am a weirdo or very desperate or make a fool out of me.

I think this fear may partly come from my experience of being bullied in high school, and my slight introverted nature.

I'm angry at myself because I have every reason to be confident, but I'm not. And it has impacted achieving one of the main goals I have in life, which is to be successful with women and find my soulmate.

Action I have taken so far is to read Roger Alan curries "mode one". I'm hoping this book will change my beliefs about myself and improve my confidence.

I also am trying to find ways to go out more by asking what my friends are doing and joining them. I don't have many close friends so I was thinking about going out to clubs or bars alone, but I feel strange if I do this.

I've signed up to tinder and hot.or.not, but I'm a bit sceptical if these apps will be useful, and I've heard they're a waste of time. I feel reluctant to start talking to my matches and I don't know what to say. I hope I don't look desperate or wierd since I'm on these apps.

I have lost lots of chances with girls who may have been the love of my life. This is so frustrating to me. Just recently a nice girl handed me a leaflet at my doorstep and I talked to her, but for some reason I didn't ask for her number. I felt that we had a connection, and the thought that I may have lost my soulmate kills me.

Seeing others being confident and striking succsess with women makes it all worse. I know that I should be like them by now, I should have been like them ages ago, but I'm still not.

All I know is I need to somehow fix my problem and the loneliness that I have, it's almost too much to bear now.

Apologies for the long wait. Work has been piling up lately, leaving no time for myself. Finally got a break last night binge playing video games... Any who, I'm gonna point out key pressing issues you have voiced out and also a series of actionable steps to get things going rather than telling you to blow smoke up your own a$$ with feel good mantras. Do note that I am speaking out of my own tested experience and might require you to discard some concepts you see here.

1. I realised that I was not getting the love life I desired from women. Which is to have fun with the loose types, and date seriously a good girl type if I find them.

Nothing wrong with fvcking loose women and dating a good girl type. The ironic thing is high-esteem women will disqualify you alone on sleeping with low-quality trash. I kid you not. Moreover, entertaining toxic people in your life in itself is creating a nasty habit of enforcing poor boundaries. I challenge you to shoot for the moon and do this: Focus on having quality relations with multiple women rather than just fvcking them.

2. I'm angry at myself because I have every reason to be confident, but I'm not. And it has impacted achieving one of the main goals I have in life, which is to be successful with women and find my soulmate.

I can only tell you that while being angry is a good kick in the ass to get motivated, there comes a point where you need to accept the current situation you are in and not hate yourself for being there. Trust yourself to know that every single improvement today you make will lead to a better you down the road.

I'd say that being successful with women (not just fvcking women but having fulfilling relations) is something pretty damn hard to do in this day and age especially since we are not 'naturals'. However, women shouldn't be your only priority in life, rather you should be prioritizing fulfilling your individual needs as your top priority.

3. I think this fear may partly come from my experience of being bullied in high school, and my slight introverted nature.

I can empathize with this part because I was bullied all the way up to high school and was introverted by nature. My parents sheltered me so much that I failed to learn how to fight for myself and it impacted me in many areas of my life. Success with women was simply not possible for me at that stage in my life, I had more work to do before I could 'level-up'.

I think that's the main observations I want you to be aware about yourself and also say don't be so hard on yourself, everyone has their own path to walk.

 

[exhausted]

I have been feeling like this recently.

I realised that I was not getting the love life I desired from women. Which is to have fun with the loose types, and date seriously a good girl type if I find them.

What makes it frustrating is that I know I'm a good looking guy. I've had women tell me I'm a 10 of 10. I've had girls check me out a lot. I have a fairly muscular and athletic body too. I've even had straight guys admit im handsome.

I also have a lot going for me career wise.

What I've noticed however is that my problem may be my confidence. I'm scared to approach in parties or daytime situations, mainly based on the fact that I don't want the girl or anyone else watching me to think that I am a weirdo or very desperate or make a fool out of me.

I think this fear may partly come from my experience of being bullied in high school, and my slight introverted nature.

I'm angry at myself because I have every reason to be confident, but I'm not. And it has impacted achieving one of the main goals I have in life, which is to be successful with women and find my soulmate.

Action I have taken so far is to read Roger Alan curries "mode one". I'm hoping this book will change my beliefs about myself and improve my confidence.

I also am trying to find ways to go out more by asking what my friends are doing and joining them. I don't have many close friends so I was thinking about going out to clubs or bars alone, but I feel strange if I do this.

I've signed up to tinder and hot.or.not, but I'm a bit sceptical if these apps will be useful, and I've heard they're a waste of time. I feel reluctant to start talking to my matches and I don't know what to say. I hope I don't look desperate or wierd since I'm on these apps.

I have lost lots of chances with girls who may have been the love of my life. This is so frustrating to me. Just recently a nice girl handed me a leaflet at my doorstep and I talked to her, but for some reason I didn't ask for her number. I felt that we had a connection, and the thought that I may have lost my soulmate kills me.

Seeing others being confident and striking succsess with women makes it all worse. I know that I should be like them by now, I should have been like them ages ago, but I'm still not.

All I know is I need to somehow fix my problem and the loneliness that I have, it's almost too much to bear now.

Proverb 31

31 These are the wise sayings of King Lemuel of Massa,[a]taught to him at his mother’s knee:

2 O my son, whom I have dedicated to the Lord, 3 do not spend your time with women—the royal pathway to destruction.

4 And it is not for kings, O Lemuel, to drink wine and whiskey. 5 For if they drink, they may forget their duties and be unable to give justice to those who are oppressed. 6-7 Hard liquor is for sick men at the brink of death, and wine for those in deep depression. Let them drink to forget their poverty and misery.

8 You should defend those who cannot help themselves. 9 Yes, speak up for the poor and helpless, and see that they get justice.

10 If you can find a truly good wife, she is worth more than precious gems! 11 Her husband can trust her, and she will richly satisfy his needs. 12 She will not hinder him but help him all her life. 13 She finds wool and flax and busily spins it. 14 She buys imported foods brought by ship from distant ports. 15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household and plans the day’s work for her servant girls. 16 She goes out to inspect a field and buys it; with her own hands she plants a vineyard. 17 She is energetic, a hard worker, 18 and watches for bargains. She works far into the night!

Whether u are a Christian or not u can't argue with the warning of women treachery from 2000 years ago.

 

[Konada]

THE GAMEPLAN

At this current situation, I want you to discard having success with women and focus on developing your relationship with yourself while reducing your dating frequency. To be honest, you are not ready for women yet. The entire objective of this game plan is to set yourself up to be able to emotionally support yourself with the help of your friends and family because you will face a lot of rejection in-field and will need a safe haven to recover.

What I have found to work for me is to fulfill my various personal needs through different avenues so I will not dump these needs onto women I'm dating. (Its unhealthy to do so anyway) Note that this process will be extremely uncomfortable at times because it requires you to reconnect with old demons (which means calling up ex-girlfriends, having a talk with your psycho mom etc.)

1. Take some time off, really ask yourself what fulfills you that has nothing to do with women. If you have to summarize your life in one sentence or word, what will it be?

From what I gather, you have let go some of the things you enjoy and rather have stagnated in getting your own needs met. Sit down, reflect and ask yourself what new things have you been wanting to try but haven't, this is your first step in breaking your comfort zones.

2. Reflect on your experiences which have made you the way you are today

Are you harbouring any resentment towards friends or families for things they have done to you in the past? More often than not, such experiences impact how we behave in life and the key to rewiring such behaviors is to solve the root issues.

For example, I always had a problem with needing approval from my dad. As such, I thought the answer I really needed to hear was that my dad was proud of me. It took alot of guts for me to ask that question and his answer was 'no'. Granted it hurt like a motherfvcker, it was then I realized the resolution was not in the answer but the proactive approach to ask the question. Basically standing up for myself.

Maybe you have experiences with family that have shaped the way you are, ask the questions you need answers to. Reconnect with them, we cannot love ourselves if we do not fight for ourselves. Most importantly. develop relationships with them because everyone needs love and the best avenue to get it is through family.

3. Pick up an activity where you need to interact with women

I recommend latin dance/ballroom/salsa because you are expected to lead in these situations. Placing yourself in a situation where you constantly interact with women will definitely help you in overcoming your awkwardness around them. Note the key here isn't to fvck these women, but rather get yourself accustomed to feminine energy.

Hope whatever I wrote here helps, let me know if you have any questions through PM.