Spinning multiple plates at once vs. just having an Abudance mentality

[oc16]

I am not good at liking/dating multiple chicks at once so it seems.

It seems if I have a good date with a chick I don't really have the motivation to pursue other women at the moment.

Now, most dating experts and people on here will say that this is bad, bad, bad.

However, if I still have an abundance mentality mindset, isn't this just as good? If a chick I just started dating flakes out on me, I can just be like "oh well" I can get another one.

 

[wifehunter]

I don't date, so it's dead easy...I just run into them randomly...works like magic!!!

 

[zekko]

However, if I still have an abundance mentality mindset, isn't this just as good? If a chick I just started dating flakes out on me, I can just be like "oh well" I can get another one.

Personally, I've always thought people here were overly fixated on the plate spinning. As long as you have the abundance mentality, I don't think it matters what you do. I'm like you, I have a girlfriend now, and if we break up, I know I could find another one (abundance mentality).

I used to spin plates, but there was a time in my early 30s when I was really busy. So I only had time to "audition" one girl at a time. I dated a bunch in rapid succession. Serial dating, they call it.

Between spinning plates and serial dating, I didn't really see much difference between the two. One didn't seem any better than the other. In fact, the serial dating might have been better because it didn't take up as much time. I think a lot of guys spin plates just to feed their ego ("See, I'm like a king, I have a harem").

 

[lizardking82]

Guys here telling guys to spin plates do that because a lot of the lads joining the forum are people with bad oneitis over one girl and they need to feel and taste what abundance mean. Once you're there, plate spinning is not necessary, it's rather optional.

 

[greatsnake]

Having an abundance mentality is an internal state.

Spinning plates is the outside factor that helps create the abundance mentality.

 

[Serenity]

If you can be just as happy with less there's nothing better.

 

[Trump]

I am not good at liking/dating multiple chicks at once so it seems.

Come on bro, you are saying you could not date 2 Hollywood actresses at the same time? Laying it on a little thick here.

It seems if I have a good date with a chick I don't really have the motivation to pursue other women at the moment.

A girl laughs at your jokes and listens to your stories and you are in love? Bro you haven't even had sex with her yet. How are you so memorized spending a few hours with one girl?

Brutal.

However, if I still have an abundance mentality mindset, isn't this just as good? If a chick I just started dating flakes out on me, I can just be like "oh well" I can get another one.

Sure, but unless you have "another one" ready, it could take weeks, months, or years.

Never assume another girl is going to fall in love with you easily because you want her to.

 

[ubercat]

Depends on a couple of factors mainly your age and what you want. If you just want to have fun and r in no rush find something more serious go do what you like. Abundance mentality is easy to maintain when you've had plenty of girls prior. If girls have always kept turning up in your life you're not really going to worry about a drought

Spinning plates when you are young is a good method to avoid oneitis.

If you are using plate spinning as a girlfriend audition system it also cuts down the amount of BS you have to absorb during early dating. Woman behave better when they have competition and they always know

 

[Reykhel]

One is an experience and the other is a belief.

If you have had the experience of abundance then it's a belief based on past concrete felt and lived experience, thus it's
a true belief...

If you haven't had the experience of spinning plates and thus generating the feeling and confidence that comes with experience and living in abundance........then.....there's the danger that the belief is coming from wishful thinking....

 

[Tenacity]

How do you have an abundance mentality without abundance though? So are you guys faking it?

- It's like saying you have a "financially comfortable mentality" without being financially comfortable.

- It's like saying you have a "job security mentality" without actually having unique skills that are in high demand, a business you own that's booming, etc.

One of the problems with The Manosphere is this promotion of "faking it until you make it". REAL confidence is built through victory, fire, and conquering challenges. Just like REAL abundance is only achieved through having scores of Beautiful women at your disposal. Either you have that or you don't.

Now, some guys might NOT need an abundance mentality because you've found that one chick who is going to stick with you forever. All power to you, I haven't found her, don't believe I will find her, and my only option is to rotate bytches for sex/companionship.

 

[zekko]

If you have had the experience of abundance then it's a belief based on past concrete felt and lived experience, thus it's
a true belief...

If you haven't had the experience of spinning plates and thus generating the feeling and confidence that comes with experience and living in abundance........then.....there's the danger that the belief is coming from wishful thinking....

I agree that experience gives rise to an abundance mentality. But if you date one girl right after another (short term, let's say), and know that you can always get another one, I would argue that has essentially the same effect. The abundance is there, in that you can always reach out and grab one. I've done both plate spinning and rapid serial dating, and I didn't see much difference between the two. My plate spinning did predate the serial dating though, so I did have that under my belt.

 

[Reykhel]

My plate spinning did predate the serial dating though, so I did have that under my belt.

Exactly, so you had the experience and the confidence that plate spinning generates. It's an exciting feeling. It generates that feeling that
you have as a kid on Christmas morning. The knowledge of and the interactions with you're proven prospects and you're potential prospects creates an energy. A current running through your blood. The options and freedom of sexually moving from one body to another creates an I'm the king feeling. It's hard to get too fixated on one because that would mean possible giving up all of these tits. You look at yourself differently in the mirror. A permanent knowing smile.

Then whatever, other things become more important or you eventually go for the ltr with the best interested option............you can always fall back on that previous experience and the knowledge is real that you have the ability to generate what you once generate before or simply go out and get a replacement......

I think also when you get to a certain age, or/and when you are very aware of your own mortality and thus very aware of what's important in your life and of who your are.....it's easier to generate no fvcks given attitude which is often a necessity for an abundance attitude...

 

[Plums]

I am not good at liking/dating multiple chicks at once so it seems.

It seems if I have a good date with a chick I don't really have the motivation to pursue other women at the moment.

Now, most dating experts and people on here will say that this is bad, bad, bad.

However, if I still have an abundance mentality mindset, isn't this just as good? If a chick I just started dating flakes out on me, I can just be like "oh well" I can get another one.

Do you only have one male friend at a time?

 

[greatsnake]

If you haven't had the experience of spinning plates and thus generating the feeling and confidence that comes with experience and living in abundance........then.....there's the danger that the belief is coming from wishful thinking....

too real on this one-- not many people can handle this. The only way to be a DJ is to confront the reality though

 

[greatsnake]

If you can be just as happy with less there's nothing better.

LOL

 

[Initiatedindenial]

I like this post. It happens to me too, once I stop plate spinning I know that I'm into someone.

 

[Serenity]

LOL

Really? Think about it. What's the point going for more if it's not going to make a difference? It's just more work for the same feeling.

You don't NEED a bunch of women to be happy, if you do then you have a scarcity mentality and a fragile ego. I don't support telling men they're nothing if they don't fuck a bunch women. The shit guys on here tie their self-esteem to is stupid and fragile.

 

[darksprezzatura]

There's a difference between delusions and reality.
Having a delusional abundance mentality is helpful to get the ball rolling, kinda like fake it till you make it.
On the other hand, actually having abundance and feeling that abundance is another thing.

I've been an avid supporter of the concept of "Go after many or none".
Plate spinning is the go to method to avoid killing attraction with any one girl and disqualify women who aren't a good influence in your life.

It's the chicken and egg theory, both will lead to the other.

If you have an abundance mentality, you'll be spinning plates automatically without effort and vice versa.

 

[marmel75]

I am not good at liking/dating multiple chicks at once so it seems.

It seems if I have a good date with a chick I don't really have the motivation to pursue other women at the moment.

Now, most dating experts and people on here will say that this is bad, bad, bad.

However, if I still have an abundance mentality mindset, isn't this just as good? If a chick I just started dating flakes out on me, I can just be like "oh well" I can get another one.

How can you have an abundance mentality mindset without abundance?? That doesn't even make sense. It would be like, what if I'm driving some rust bucket but just pretend to everyone it's a Porsche 911...

Well duh, it's not hard to see through that facade...same with pretending you have abundance when you don't. They will see through it quickly because your actions will not be consistent no matter how hard you try.

 

[Serenity]

How can you have an abundance mentality mindset without abundance?? That doesn't even make sense. It would be like, what if I'm driving some rust bucket but just pretend to everyone it's a Porsche 911...

Well duh, it's not hard to see through that facade...same with pretending you have abundance when you don't. They will see through it quickly because your actions will not be consistent no matter how hard you try.

Can you have the same feeling as someone who has real abundance without having abundance? Yes you can. The same way you can feel free even though you're in prison. You can feel like your life is falling apart even though it's not. Also you can feel like you're driving a Porche 911 even though it's a rust bucket.

The confidence that comes with abundance mentality is far more important than actually having women swarming around you. It's that internal feeling that will reflect itself in attractive behavior, women don't have to see that there's a ton of other women chasing you. If you keep up abundance mentality they'll assume it and not long after it will be true.

Get the mentality first, then the actual abundance will come after. You're gonna have a hard time doing it the other way around.