How can I use push-pull technique in our relationship?

[Luji]

Lately, she's been cold on me. I am the one who's always making an effort to see her. I am always the one saying sorry even if its not my fault. I am always the one who's enthusiastic in our conversations. She's not the sweet type anymore. She's not like that in our first year. I am really the bad guy before. I always get mad her, doesnt reply fast, i dont show much affection but even Im that kind of guy she's very sweet and caring to me but after I realized that Ive been so much hard on her (she constantly complained about it) I made the tables turn. I give her anything she wants. Now she's the one being hard on me. And now she doesnt seem like interested in me anymore. I would like to use the push-pull technique. How?

I think this will be effective because last night after weeks of doing anything she wants from me, I told her "we should cool down first because that's what you need, you start to lose interest on me" then she replied with "what if it wont work out after that" i said "its fine, i wont insist myself if you dont want me again" then after that she quickly changed the topic and avoided it then her replies became more enthusiastic.

 

[Urbanyst]

You're serving up your testicles on a silver platter. What reason does she have to work hard to keep you?

STOP doing everything. I get girls pushing for marriage after a few months of dating. You know why? Because I'm a lazy f*ck and I don't do anything once I've slept with a girl a few times. I'm also high value.

 

[kenpiffyjr]

go on a weekend vacation alone by yourself. Then come back with a bulletproof frame that you never let down...ever.

 

[SgtSplacker]

Just stop doing things for her. To women it's always a test to see if they can get you to do things. It makes them feel good to see you doing things for them. It makes them feel like they are worth it. To a woman that feeling is like sex to a man, it's the whole reason she's with you. To a woman, validation is as important as sex is to a man.

Get it?

By doing everything she wants your just basically sitting there giving it away for free with no conditions. Your a cheap validation slut to her. It's not a challenge any more. Your face is a sloppy validation gash oozing unconditional acceptance and attention for her to do with as she pleases.

Your objective is to keep her thirsty and never satisfied. Only give her a taste never a full bite. Just enough to let her get by without her going and hanging herself of insecurities.

It's gonna be tough at first, she's gonna fight it. You just keep telling her shes special while doing nothing for her or being particularly nice to her. Just keep doing you and taking what YOU wan't from her. Always keep her wondering if you really like her or not. Treat her like shes worthless but always tell her shes your #1. This is the only way she is going to be truly happy with you. Make it a challenge man.

 

[Luji]

Just stop doing things for her. To women it's always a test to see if they can get you to do things. It makes them feel good to see you doing things for them. It makes them feel like they are worth it. To a woman that feeling is like sex to a man, it's the whole reason she's with you. To a woman, validation is as important as sex is to a man.

Get it?

By doing everything she wants your just basically sitting there giving it away for free with no conditions. Your a cheap validation slut to her. It's not a challenge any more. Your face is a sloppy validation gash oozing unconditional acceptance and attention for her to do with as she pleases.

Your objective is to keep her thirsty and never satisfied. Only give her a taste never a full bite. Just enough to let her get by without her going and hanging herself of insecurities.

It's gonna be tough at first, she's gonna fight it. You just keep telling her shes special while doing nothing for her or being particularly nice to her. Just keep doing you and taking what YOU wan't from her. Always keep her wondering if you really like her or not. Treat her like shes worthless but always tell her shes your #1. This is the only way she is going to be truly happy with you. Make it a challenge man.

What if she wants affection. She became grouchy/ill-tempered because I reply with her messages slowly. She doesnt want to talk to me now because Im so busy. Im freaking out. Please help. I act like Im busy even though Im not. Should I caress her, show affection? Is this the right time to tell her that Im sorry she's special?

 

[EyeBRollin]

What if she wants affection. She became grouchy/ill-tempered because I reply with her messages slowly. She doesnt want to talk to me now because Im so busy. Im freaking out. Please help. I act like Im busy even though Im not. Should I caress her, show affection? Is this the right time to tell her that Im sorry she's special?

Just dump her. This relationship is dead.

Every habit you develop with a woman will stay for life. If she's bitchy because you don't reply to messages, it's because you trained her at the beginning to expect full access to you as well as text conversations.

Men, stop texting.

 

[Krueg]

If both sides are playing games your gonna have a stalemate.

If she's going cold on you and acting b!tchy and other negative signs like you say. I'd start thinking about ending the relationship, before she destroys you!

 

[bigneil]

Yes!

Push her over the edge and Pull new women.

 

[bigneil]

She became grouchy/ill-tempered because I reply with her messages slowly. She doesnt want to talk to me now because Im so busy. Im freaking out. Please help.

Be honest, you're a teenage girl, correct?

If not, and you believe women get grouchy and blow men off because those men don't reply fast enough, I have oceanfront property in Arizona to sell you. She has low interest, likely low attraction level, and you MUST WAIT until SHE texts YOU to have any chance.

 

[lizardking82]

1) It would be nice if you stopped making a thread a day about this thing. You have been told all the advice you need to be told in the previous two threads.

2) You should never be "freaking out" because a girl goes cold on you. That just shows how weak mentally you are right now, how ***** dependent, how much in a scarcity mindset you are. You freak out because your mother might be dying, because your brother was stabbed or because your child is seriously ill. You should never freak out because a girl goes cold on you.

3) You should be blind if you don't see that telling this girl "let's take a break" makes her behave right away. There is nothing else you should do other than what you're doing. Relationships, in principle, are simple. You behave like a man, she behaves well like a good girl should. You lose frame, lose composure, have no options, freak out, she start misbehaving. What do you do? You behave like a man again and show her you're willing to walk away and she starts behaving again right away. I mean, man, how more simple do you want people in here to tell you things?

 

[lizardking82]

Just dump her. This relationship is dead.

Every habit you develop with a woman will stay for life. If she's bitchy because you don't reply to messages, it's because you trained her at the beginning to expect full access to you as well as text conversations.

Men, stop texting.

I see what you're saying and I totally agree with the habit thing, but I think OP got one specific problem to solve here: when he starts acting like a man, she becomes a loving and happy puppy as he says in his last paragraph.

However, I also think @Krueg has got a very solid point. A relationship should not be about playing games and being on your toes the whole time. It should normally be a place where you can go "rest" once in a while without being afraid this crazy biatch will make you "freak out" and pull sth crazy out of her repertoir.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I see what you're saying and I totally agree with the habit thing, but I think OP got one specific problem to solve here: when he starts acting like a man, she becomes a loving and happy puppy as he says in his last paragraph.

However, I also think @Krueg has got a very solid point. A relationship should not be about playing games and being on your toes the whole time. It should normally be a place where you can go "rest" once in a while without being afraid this crazy biatch will make you "freak out" and pull sth crazy out of her repertoir.

I'm not sure exactly what you mean by "rest". I do believe you always need to be on your toes. I guess the disparity here is all about the type of girl a guy can be with. Some girls have hobbies, jobs, interests and I guess girls like that can give a guy some pause to the constant stature/frame he needs to maintain in a relationship. A laid back woman that is not constantly looking for a weakness in your game/frame must exist right? I've never seen one.

Other day I was chilling at a beach bar and some busty MILF starts chatting me up. Telling me how she has kids and everything she could ask for. Her husband was a good guy... fast forward a couple drinks and more confidence with each other and shes trying to lay me talking about how her man never challenges her. I don't think she is the exception here by any means. She did not give off a vibe of a person that is used to picking up dudes at a bar. I mean she just spilled her guts out just before asking me to leave with her, that is not very practiced in my opinion. That guy just let down his guard on her and stopped challenging her.

Point is you can never stop messing with your girl. She can never feel secure.

She can never feel secure.

She can never feel secure...

 

[lizardking82]

I'm not sure exactly what you mean by "rest". I do believe you always need to be on your toes. I guess the disparity here is all about the type of girl a guy can be with. Some girls have hobbies, jobs, interests and I guess girls like that can give a guy some pause to the constant stature/frame he needs to maintain in a relationship. A laid back woman that is not constantly looking for a weakness in your game/frame must exist right? I've never seen one.

Other day I was chilling at a beach bar and some busty MILF starts chatting me up. Telling me how she has kids and everything she could ask for. Her husband was a good guy... fast forward a couple drinks and more confidence with each other and shes trying to lay me talking about how her man never challenges her. I don't think she is the exception here by any means. She did not give off a vibe of a person that is used to picking up dudes at a bar. I mean she just spilled her guts out just before asking me to leave with her, that is not very practiced in my opinion. That guy just let down his guard on her and stopped challenging her.

Point is you can never stop messing with your girl. She can never feel secure.

She can never feel secure.

She can never feel secure...

You can and never should stop messing with her, but if you HAVE to do that ALL THE TIME, then I think it's just not worth it. I mean, I got other things to do in life other than worrying about losing frame every hour. I think your presence should be enough to maintain frame for some time. If you're acting like a man in your life and moving towards your goals as a man, that is enough to keep her wet. Of course I think you should pay attention to your behaviour in the relationship, but as I said, if you're dealing with a girl with whom you feel like you need to be on your toes all the time, you're probably dealing with a non-stable female and no matter how perfect you are, it will sooner or later not be enough. It is never enough for that type.

 

[EyeBRollin]

You can't rest. Women sense weakness like a shark smells blood. They don't dump you overnight, but she can fall out of love with you 10 times quicker than she fell in love with you. Then she won't even dump you right away, she'll line up her next dude before doing you in.

You can't rest. You have to game your woman forever. Unless you want to end up in divorce court

 

[Konada]

No submission, no attention.

A woman needs to know she's always on thin ice with you otherwise she will get comfortable and treat you like sh!t. Avail your resources only to those who please you.

This is going downhill because you are rewarding her for acting like a b!tch.

 

[SgtSplacker]

I think alot of it has to do with what motivates a woman. If she's not doing anything with her life other than doing things with you then NO, it never will end. If you find your girl working hobbies or jobs and keeping herself entertained, then you might be in luck. Either way I keep myself accustomed to the constant drama necessary to keep a woman engaged.