The significance of a "couples profile pic"

[cityboy989]

Somebody mentioned it on here recently, and it was a thought that's crossed my head before. Is it significant when a young woman (30 or younger) who is active on social media, DOESN'T put her boyfriend in her profile pic? Some may say it's a silly concern, but I think that can be telling especially in today's day and age of social media and the attention that 99% of girls love from it.

I read an article on Psychology Today that states when a woman puts her significant other in her profile pic, it's generally a sign of closeness and joint-identity. They consider their significant other to be a part of their identity. It goes on to explain that if she doesn't have him in her pic, it doesn't necessarily mean she's not in love with him.

I happen to believe that if a young woman changes her profile pic occasionally and never puts her "boyfriend" in it, that would be a concern. ESPECIALLY if she had an ex in her profile pic at one point, but not you. Could indicate she's not totally into you, she knows things might change, or she's not into you enough to willingly cut off her supply of male attention.

 

[btownbuck2012]

Somebody mentioned it on here recently, and it was a thought that's crossed my head before. Is it significant when a young woman (30 or younger) who is active on social media, DOESN'T put her boyfriend in her profile pic? Some may say it's a silly concern, but I think that can be telling especially in today's day and age of social media and the attention that 99% of girls love from it.

I read an article on Psychology Today that states when a woman puts her significant other in her profile pic, it's generally a sign of closeness and joint-identity. They consider their significant other to be a part of their identity. It goes on to explain that if she doesn't have him in her pic, it doesn't necessarily mean she's not in love with him.

I happen to believe that if a young woman changes her profile pic occasionally and never puts her "boyfriend" in it, that would be a concern. ESPECIALLY if she had an ex in her profile pic at one point, but not you. Could indicate she's not totally into you, she knows things might change, or she's not into you enough to willingly cut off her supply of male attention.

If anything it just means she's feeling very happy with her relationship with him in the moment or recently.

 

[Initiatedindenial]

Oh boy... Randall part 2

 

[WitnessGR]

Women love attention... We know this, Women outsource for attention even in a monogamous relationship, we know this as well.
I just don't see why men seem to want to be detectives and historians over pointless sh!t like if she has you in her social media profile pic or not.

Why don't we actually try to see how they respond with or around us instead of playing guess who all the time

 

[Initiatedindenial]

Publicly viewable couples pics serve the same purpose, profile or not. As a general rule and in my experience, it has been a red flag when my girlfriends didn't put up couple pictures. Good looking women will want and expect attention for themselves but if they are loyal they will not mind scaring off some attention in order to protect the relationship via couples pictures.

Let's spin this thread to something hopefully more interesting. What about when your girlfriend do post a profile pic with you, and then expects you to do the same?

I've been having this one lately, and although I wouldn't mind putting one, I do remember that at the beginning of the relationship I clearly said that I wouldn't do that, that it was corny in my opinion. I feel that if I indulge her I would be losing frame (And I've already lost a lot since recently we moved together).

 

[Desdinova]

I happen to believe that if a young woman changes her profile pic occasionally and never puts her "boyfriend" in it, that would be a concern.

I've thought a bit about this. I've had some girls change their profile pic to a picture of me and her... when she actually HAS taken one. I've had GFs who have never taken a picture of me with them.

It seems to boil down to interest level. Some women will get to the point where they want to proudly show off their men. Other women just don't seem to give that much of a damn about it. Those are the ones that I would be wary of.

I have had a girl make a couple pic, nag nag nag me to do to the same

She just wants the other interested women to be jealous. Women are highly competitive when it comes to getting a man they want. You just have to make sure that she's not into you solely for competitive purposes. I stupidly married a woman who only saw me as A prize instead of THE prize.

 

[Initiatedindenial]

Not sure really. I dont mind it at all but I have had a girl make a couple pic, nag nag nag me to do to the same, I do it then within 24 hours she changes her to a solo pic.

There has been cuck dynamic in every relationship I've been in, where the girl tries to cut me off from other women while she expands her operations towards other men in secret. Give an inch, take a mile. It's a double standard of the highest proportions and annoyingly competitive.

It's my profile pic. For anyone to be in thete means that they are part of my identity and that I trust them to remain that way in a long time. She has not gained that credit yet.

 

[randalljohnson]

It's my profile pic. For anyone to be in thete means that they are part of my identity and that I trust them to remain that way in a long time. She has not gained that credit yet.

That's exactly what I indicated in my post a couple weeks ago, in which I got torn to shreds. I believe OP is talking about my thread when he says "somebody posted about this before." I felt it was suspicious that my GF changes her profile pic and never changes it to one of us. We've taken some good pics. It's always a selfie of herself or a pic of her and her kid. Like OP indicated, by simply scrolling through her pics (this was when we just started dating) I noticed a year or two ago, she had a pic of her and her ex when they were together.

 

[cityboy989]

There has been cuck dynamic in every relationship I've been in, where the girl tries to cut me off from other women while she expands her operations towards other men in secret. Give an inch, take a mile. It's a double standard of the highest proportions and annoyingly competitive.

Ah, so she wanted you to cutoff your supply of female attention but she was still secretly entertaining male attention?

 

[Initiatedindenial]

That's exactly what I indicated in my post a couple weeks ago, in which I got torn to shreds. I believe OP is talking about my thread when he says "somebody posted about this before." I felt it was suspicious that my GF changes her profile pic and never changes it to one of us. We've taken some good pics. It's always a selfie of herself or a pic of her and her kid. Like OP indicated, by simply scrolling through her pics (this was when we just started dating) I noticed a year or two ago, she had a pic of her and her ex when they were together.

Ok Randall let's take you seriously for once.

She obviously has posted pictures with exes before, but not with you, why?

Obviously there is something in her mind that prevents her from doing so, possible scenarios:

a) She is not sure about the survivality of your relationship
b) She doesn't believe you are something to be shown around
c) You are a rite of passage, someone who is providing while she finds something better, aka "worst is nothing"

You may want to filter these possibilities. **** test her to see how she responds.

 

[randalljohnson]

Ok Randall let's take you seriously for once.

She obviously has posted pictures with exes before, but not with you, why?

Obviously there is something in her mind that prevents her from doing so, possible scenarios:

a) She is not sure about the survivality of your relationship
b) She doesn't believe you are something to be shown around
c) You are a rite of passage, someone who is providing while she finds something better, aka "worst is nothing"

You may want to filter these possibilities. **** test her to see how she responds.

She does post some pics of us occasionally, but none as her profile pic (as ridiculous as that concern SEEM to you.) I agree with OP, I feel your profile pic is your identity and what you want the world to know. It's also a way of putting up a sign that says "Do Not Enter" to other men/orbiters

 

[Initiatedindenial]

She does post some pics of us occasionally, but none as her profile pic (as ridiculous as that concern SEEM to you.) I agree with OP, I feel your profile pic is your identity and what you want the world to know. It's also a way of putting up a sign that says "Do Not Enter" to other men/orbiters

Why do you need her to put a sign? Don't you trust her?

 

[resilient]

What a couples photo may look like:

This one too:

 

[randalljohnson]

Why do you need her to put a sign? Don't you trust her?

That's isn't the point. The point is, she's what I call a young woman whos active on social media. Which is pretty much everybody these days. I feel that what these people do or don't do on social media can be telling. And let's not forget, she did it with her ex but hasn't had the desire to do it with me.

And for what it's worth, I do trust that she'll never physically cheat on me, but I have secretly noticed her parading for attention/validation from other dudes on social media. (She used to follow random local single guys, re-follows an ex, re-follows old friends/flames, seemed to hang around a few particular guys' pages and Like pretty much any selfie they post, etc.)

 

[bigneil]

The answer is to unfriend anyone you are dating.

 

[resilient]

Re: social media... ignorance is bliss. It's a playground for the preoccupied anxious mind.

No DJ has time for that sh!t, so why worry about circumstances (her) that are out of your locus of control?

Focus on you and your self-improvement and you'll worry less about your plate(s) online behavior.

 

[Initiatedindenial]

That's isn't the point. The point is, she's what I call a young woman whos active on social media. Which is pretty much everybody these days. I feel that what these people do or don't do on social media can be telling. And let's not forget, she did it with her ex but hasn't had the desire to do it with me.

And for what it's worth, I do trust that she'll never physically cheat on me, but I have secretly noticed her parading for attention/validation from other dudes on social media. (She used to follow random local single guys, re-follows an ex, re-follows old friends/flames, seemed to hang around a few particular guys' pages and Like pretty much any selfie they post, etc.)

You have a lot of insecurity men, this is making you frustrated and eventually you will explode. You have to figure yourself out, why are you so insecure? Is she making you feel like this? If so you should walk away, you can't be with someone whom you can't handle.
I'm not the one to judge if what you are doing is right or wrong, but stalking her social media is only going to hurt you.
Focus on yourself and cut anything that is not making you feel good.

 

[The Duke]

There are many different motives for why one does or doesn’t put a “couples” profile picture up. Most of it is centered around insecurity. So lets be real about this…having a “couples” pic certainly doesn’t prevent cheating or him/her being propositioned by others! I think it’s purely a false sense of security.

I dated a girl a while back that never put any of our “couple” pics on her facebook, and neither did I. We both wanted to keep our personal life private and didn’t want to deal with the drama/embarrassment that might come if the relationship ended. We didn’t need facebook to make our relationship official.

The girl I am dating now has pics of her and I on her facebook. Its obvious we are a couple. However, I don’t have a single one of her on mine. She has tried to bust my balls several times for this but I haven’t budged. She hasn’t earned that right and I don’t really care either. The pics of her and I together haven’t stopped the random dudes from asking her out. She shows me the lame messages they send.

Just a week ago, a friend of mine put a couples profile pic up on his facebook at the urging of the girl he was dating as she thought it would some how tie him down and keep the other girls away. One week later he got caught cheating on her!

Like I said, its all a false sense of security. Keep lying to your self if you think it lessens your anxiety! Refuse to address the real issue!

 

[AlphaNate]

The answer is to unfriend anyone you are dating.

Not relevant. I have a girl with me in her profile pic on facebook. We are not friends on any social media.

 

[cityboy989]

This is a quote from the Psychology Today article

"Recent evidence suggests that people who are more satisfied in their romantic relationshipsare more apt to post an usie as a primary Facebook profile picture compared to those who are less satisfied (Saslow, Muise, Impett, & Dubin, 2013). In other words, a person’s profile picture can be a pictoral representation of relationship closeness. The act of having your own profile photo include a picture of your partner, suggests that your own self-concept includes your partner; presenting the “self” as an “us” in a profile picture correspond with satisfaction and closeness (Saslow et al., 2013).

If your profile picture contains you and you alone, this doesn’t mean you have an unhappy relationship. The broader context matters. Couples negotiate with each other to maintain a degree of privacy with which each member is comfortable (Zhao et al., 2012). This might mean refraining from posting couple photos or status updates that reference the partner or it might mean regularly posting content that affirms the relationship. Partners must strategically balance their own and their partners’ interests to show-off or keep private their relationship with outsiders’ (e.g., friends, relatives) desires to see pictures or hear updates that say something about the relationship. The selfie versus the usie may be just the tip of the ice-berg when learning to navigate relationship presentation online."

I believe when a girl doesn't put you in her profile pic (but maybe has for guys in her past,) there are three potential reasons:

1) she's not THAT crazy about you (you may be filling a blank for her) and she questions/doubts a longterm future with you
2) she's crazed for male attention and doesn't want to end that by including you in her profile pic
3) She wants to keep things "private"