Lack of interest, or just a robotic personality?

[ThisNThat]

I don't know, but lately, I've gone out with a few women that were rather "blah" in the art of conversation.

Seemed one-sided. I went out a date with woman, she was mostly listening to me, but when I would volley her a question she'd really give brief or short responses. Or they answer, but don't elaborate. They maintain eye contact, but don't...engage.

There's this one woman I recall that I keep seeing at events, as she has a group of 4 or 5 other single women of the same age that goes see live music....So when I continue to see her, I'm like 'Hey, how's it going? Been a while...what have you been up to lately?"

All of her friends in the group share the same demeanor also, most of them are single, never married, no kids. Alpha females...as someone on here called them?

Her: "Well , you know...work n stuff. Been keeping busy here and there."

Some women will talk to you, as they'll talk to anyone, they enjoy just talking...ya know...but these women, their art of conversation is robotic in nature and it makes me wonder

I blew the date off as, "Well, I guess there wasn't a connection." I thought it was actually a MUTUAL feeling of not "feeling it."


And I hadn't planned on calling her for a 2nd,...then, she texts me and asks ME out on a 2nd date.

I was quite baffled considering how much of a dud the date was...I said, "Sorry, but I wasn't feeling a connection" and I was thinking, "And SHE thought there was a connection?"

Sometimes, I'd be a Meetup venues, and I'd get to talking women, and they'd nod and smile....but it's hard to decipher if they are just not interested or their personality is so bland that a man may mistake it for disinterest? And they do this typically with all guys that try to mingle with them.

Although, they have no problem letting their hair down and dancing the night away.

Some of her friends may say she's "Shy" but, at 40 and 50-something...shyness is something attributed to the younger women folk, yes?

 

[Urbanyst]

You don't really know where you stand with women until you make moves.

I've learned to just behave based on my own interest level and not worry about the woman's. If she isn't interested, I'll find out when she says NO to a second date, or she rejects my sexual advances.

 

[fastlife]

You don't really know where you stand with women until you make moves.

I've learned to just behave based on my own interest level and not worry about the woman's. If she isn't interested, I'll find out when she says NO to a second date, or she rejects my sexual advances.

This.

But back to OP--there's a good chance you're just a boring conversationalist looking for the woman to provide stimulation to you. That's OK--that's most people. Oh, what do you do for a living? Oh. Cool. Do you like it? What do you do for fun? Oh. Me too. ENTERTAIN MEEEE PLEEEASE! PLEEEASE SAY SOMETHING COOL. Like meee. See how that's value-taking and expecting the girl to lead?

So in this case, she is low interest/low investment since the convo is boring as fvck & you're not escalating verbally or physically. Interactions are most exciting--for you & her--when they're building up to a climax & a solid dopamine hit (like an orgasm). It's your responsibility as a man to guide the interaction towards that. If she's boring after sex, she's probably boring in general, but almost every girl I've been with has been way cooler, more interesting, more engaged, more open AFTER I'VE FVCKED HER. I've had total brick walls open up into really vibrant personalities after chipping away at them for a while.

Focus on getting her to talk about who she is on a deep level--as opposed to surface-level bullsh1t; sexualize the convo; and save the boring small talk for logistics: I.E. Do you have roommates? Cool. [FLAT] Are you the crazy one or is she? LOL. [FLAT] OMG your face right now. No, I bet YOU'RE the crazy one. [SPIKE] So did you drive here? [FLAT]. Think of it like an EKG: Flat; boring; logical. SPIKE. Flat; boring; logical. SPIKE. Learn a couple spikes and I promise your convos with girls will suddenly be a lot more engaging.

 

[Urbanyst]

Focus on getting her to talk about who she is on a deep level--as opposed to surface-level bullsh1t; sexualize the convo; and save the boring small talk for logistics: I.E. Do you have roommates? Cool. [FLAT] Are you the crazy one or is she? LOL. [FLAT] OMG your face right now. No, I bet YOU'RE the crazy one. [SPIKE] So did you drive here? [FLAT]. Think of it like an EKG: Flat; boring; logical. SPIKE. Flat; boring; logical. SPIKE. Learn a couple spikes and I promise your convos with girls will suddenly be a lot more engaging.

This is too much work.

If you have to put on a clown show to impress a woman, you're probably LOW VALUE. Women know we mostly care about SEX with them. The more of a show we put on to impress them the more insecure we appear to be. I'm boring as f*ck on dates and I barely even try. Doesn't matter. I still get laid.

 

[fastlife]

This is too much work.

If you have to put on a clown show to impress a woman, you're probably LOW VALUE. Women know we mostly care about SEX with them. The more of a show we put on to impress them the more insecure we appear to be. I'm boring as f*ck on dates and I barely even try. Doesn't matter. I still get laid.

Wait. Lol. So learning how to flirt is a waste of time but going on dates isn't. Charisma is a low value behavior. Push pull & intermittent rewards aren't legitimate psychological principles.

Gotcha. So just make money & be boring?

Because a 19 y/o Instagram model with a couple ten thousand followers, whose phone is going off with notifications every 5 seconds (dopamine; dopamine; dopamine) will gladly put her phone aside to be bored. She won't feel the creeping sensation to reach out for her phone even if you're less emotionally interesting at the moment than it is.

Never mind, bad example, she's a low quality girl and you don't even want to fvck her; no one wants to fvck her lol.

No, let's find a good girl. An 18 y/o with a low partner count will endure your one word answers and talk about the weather to escalate the conversations towards sex (without your lead). She definitely won't slip back into her good girl role that requires more dates, more investment, more comfort. Nah, she'll definitely take on the role of sexually escalating and carrying the conversation even though she has super limited life experience and is a little bit intimidated by going on a date with a guy who's older than any guy she's dated in the past.

Gotcha.

 

[Urbanyst]

Wait. Lol. So learning how to flirt is a waste of time but going on dates isn't. Charisma is a low value behavior. Push pull & intermittent rewards aren't legitimate psychological principles.

Gotcha. So just make money & be boring?

Because a 19 y/o Instagram model with a couple ten thousand followers, whose phone is going off with notifications every 5 seconds (dopamine; dopamine; dopamine) will gladly put her phone aside to be bored. She won't feel the creeping sensation to reach out for her phone even if you're less emotionally interesting at the moment than it is.

Never mind, bad example, she's a low quality girl and you don't even want to fvck her; no one wants to fvck her lol.

No, let's find a good girl. An 18 y/o with a low partner count will endure your one word answers and talk about the weather to escalate the conversations towards sex (without your lead). She definitely won't slip back into her good girl role that requires more dates, more investment, more comfort. Nah, she'll definitely take on the role of sexually escalating and carrying the conversation even though she has super limited life experience and is a little bit intimidated by going on a date with a guy who's older than any guy she's dated in the past.

Gotcha.

Nah dude.

Nothing wrong with flirting, charisma and having fun on dates. Just saying it should NOT be forced. Relax and act normal.

 

[guru1000]

You bet when I have a professional model or an Instagram model with a 100k+ following and 1k+ likes per picture in front of me, I'm leveraging everything: Looks, Status, Game.

And she leverages to the hill as well: Looks (Makeup, Hair, Body, Million Dollar Dress), Status (Model & Fans), Game. And yes, these type of women game too and are the most insecure.

We all leverage to maximize the highest SMV we can attract.

 

[Urbanyst]

A must watch for all guys. LESS IS MORE!!

 

[guru1000]

To add:

I could go out with the average 8, fart, yawn, and ignore her on the date, and have her chase me for another "great" date, but I don't find much satisfaction in that.

I want the untouchables. I want the hottest woman in NYC tonight. I want red carpet service in any place I walk into because by appearance alone (mainly hers), they think we are celebrities. Striving for anything less, IMO, is not worth living.