You're the catch, or lose the ego? Contradiction on this forum

[.Paradox.]

I hear both of these here, so which is it.

Saying "I'm always the catch" is egotistical and not realistic. If you can embed this in your mind/game, GREAT, it will certainly help, but the point remains.

"Lose the ego". I take this to mean, "you're not the center of the universe and you shouldn't believe you're the greatest thing since sliced bread/better than everyone else." However, saying "I'm always the catch" is technically implying you are better than everyone you date.

So which is it? Should I lose the ego and be a super real and down to earth person, or should I believe I'm better than everyone else in order to be more confident?

 

[bigneil]

It's "Get a job".

 

[.Paradox.]

I have one. I'm the manager at the strip club your GF dances at.

 

[wifehunter]

You don't have to have ego to be a catch.

 

[Serenity]

Ego is when you pretend to be someone you're really not, like if you think you're a catch but really you're not. Ego then comes in the way of truly becoming a good catch, because you will not be driven towards improvement if you already think you're a catch. So yeah, drop your ego and open your mind to eternal improvement, the masters never stop learning. The masters don't compare themselves to others, they compare against their past self. They don't care about being better than everyone else, they care about getting better than they were and becoming the best they can become.

On the other side, losing your ego doesn't mean you have to be harsh towards yourself. You may not be the centre of the universe, but you are the center of your own life. You don't have to be the best to be satisfied, you only need to be good enough to reach your goals. Even though you could always be better and there's always someone better than you, being good enough is good enough and with time you can become even better.

The error many people with a massive ego makes is expecting everyone else to regard them the same way they regard themselves, to be the center of everything. They forget that everyone is the center of their own lives, which IMO is disrespectful as fvck. I don't give the slightest fvck about people who think they're better than me, they have nothing to offer me and thus are pretty much worthless to me.

People with a huge ego are in reality viewed by others opposite of how they view themselves, and they're blind to that fact.

 

[old_skoolr]

I have one. I'm the manager at the strip club your GF dances at.

Shots fired!!!!

 

[Infern0]

Its called having a healthy self esteem.

You are happy with yourself and know your own value.

You would love to have an awesome chick along for the ride

But if she doesnt want to come its all good.

 

[Konada]

The best catches out there do not think they are god's gift to women, instead they know that there is always someone bigger, better or has more game to them. Ironically enough, its this mindset that drives their improvement and people see them as more of a catch than they themselves.

 

[Tenacity]

I hear both of these here, so which is it.

Saying "I'm always the catch" is egotistical and not realistic. If you can embed this in your mind/game, GREAT, it will certainly help, but the point remains.

"Lose the ego". I take this to mean, "you're not the center of the universe and you shouldn't believe you're the greatest thing since sliced bread/better than everyone else." However, saying "I'm always the catch" is technically implying you are better than everyone you date.

So which is it? Should I lose the ego and be a super real and down to earth person, or should I believe I'm better than everyone else in order to be more confident?

This forum is a cartoon land, that's why. The vast majority on this forum aren't living the life they claim to be.

The TRUTH is that you're only the prize if you have built up such a unique status within your own social circle.This is usually done through having some sort of status, or good looks, or good personality, or having a lot of money, or knowing a lot of people, or having done a lot of things for people........it builds you up in their eyes as being someone that's IMPORTANT.

That takes time, dedication, and WORK. Three things that majority on this forum don't like to read about as they go on promoting their "How To Be A Player" mantras. Most on here don't want to WORK to build up a social circle, WORK to build up finances, WORK to build up their body, etc.

They want to say money doesn't matter and looks don't matter, then run around promoting the Law Of Attraction where all their lazy a.sses have to do is randomly believe something and it will come to them. They want to believe that all they need to do is smile, be positive, and their "paradigm" (whatever the fvck that is) will expand.

In a nutshell what I'm telling you is this forum is the fvcking looney bin. I'm on my way out of this piece of shyt and I've already been looking for other groups to invest my time in. Groups of men who are actually focused on GOING somewhere in life and developing themselves, not this anonymous fvcking clown show that Sosuave has become, where every single person on here is some perfect, alpha male, that's the prize.

 

[logicallefty]

The answer to the OP's question is "stop caring so much", then both your ego and catch value will fall right where they need to naturally.

 

[Desdinova]

Saying "I'm always the catch" is egotistical and not realistic.

Why isn't it realistic?

When you have standards, morals, a positive outlook, an outgoing personality, a good income and a low-stress lifestyle, then you're a catch. You're not having any of that imposed upon you. Instead, you've created it yourself. There are too many other men who bytch about their low income jobs, complain about never having a hot GF, and sit in front of their video games every night. It's not all that difficult to be a "catch", you just need to do some work on yourself to rise above the common lazy-ass whiner.

"Lose the ego". I take this to mean, "you're not the center of the universe and you shouldn't believe you're the greatest thing since sliced bread/better than everyone else."

I don't think there's anything wrong with being a bit egotistical, but a good perspective is needed. People aren't going to automatically bow down to you because it's not realistic. Using your ego in a humorous way is attractive. "You see all these people? They should be bowing down to me because I just got a sexy hair cut". Simply saying that you're better than everyone else is just plain arrogant. Remember David De'angelo's recipe of arrogance mixed with humour. It works very well.

 

[sazc]

To me, believing that "I am the catch" really means that I fully believe that I have enough value as a human being to be treated with respect from a person I am dating.

It has nothing to do with my ego because I know myself well enough to know that I have a lot to offer, sincerely, to someone I am dating. Offer/value as in devotion, loyalty, care, compassion, having their back, support, etc.

Because I know I have all of the items above, I know I am a catch. Therefore, I refuse to deal with people who don't respect me/my value.

I am also a sincere, caring and humble person, so my ego is in check.

THAT is why you can know you are the catch, and it has nothing to do with your ego.

But first you have to do some serious stuff evaluation to figure out who you really are.

 

[zekko]

"I'm the catch" is realistic as long as you are a high value guy. If you're a low value guy, you're deluding yourself, unless you're dating down.

Tyler from RSD says that many PUA ideas are contradictory, and you have to be able to shift seemlessly from one to the other, depending on which attitude the situation calls for.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Maybe turn the question on it's head, insomuch as, how many successful people do you know that have low confidence and self worth?

You can recognise who has real confidence and who is floating on ego/bravado, even on this forum. The moaning, b!tchy tw@s, bent on blaming the outside world or relying on extraneous variables are those who rely on ego. Truly confident people do and say as they please within reason, regardless of anyone or anything else.

 

[Tenacity]

Maybe turn the question on it's head, insomuch as, how many successful people do you know that have low confidence and self worth?

A lot of them. Have you not heard the countless stories of these folks who start making money and then start getting used by their friends around them (low self worth), start blowing the money on various things to please people around them (low self worth), etc.?

Does the name MC Hammer ring a bell? What about Allen Iverson?

You guys and your magical/positive thinking = massive success shyt has no basis in reality whatsoever. There are countless highly successful people who STRUGGLE with depression, low self-esteem, low self worth, etc. How many high dollar Attorneys and Financial Services Reps commit suicide annually? A LOT of them.

You can recognise who has real confidence and who is floating on ego/bravado, even on this forum.

.....Okay tell me how.....

The moaning, b!tchy tw@s, bent on blaming the outside world or relying on extraneous variables are those who rely on ego. Truly confident people do and say as they please within reason, regardless of anyone or anything else.

MORE cartoon shyt. Truly confident people just do whatever the fvck they want? Straight out of the Cartoon Network.

The problem with this forum is that it's anonymous. I've tried to change that. I've posted my pics, pics of women I've been with, my car pics, residence pics, fitness pics, and everything on here so there's NOBODY on this god damn forum that's going to say I'm not truthful in detailing my progress.

I don't remember seeing ONE pic from you. Ever.

This is the only fvcking forum on the internet, where nobody is allowed to be human. We are all supposed to have rock bottom/unshakable "confidence", never get mad, never get upset, never rant, never be fearful, always be in control, and absolutely NOBODY here has any fvcking thing they are working on. Everybody here is perfect........happy about everything......life is a breezeeee.

Fvcking bullshyt and you guys get away with that shyt because this forum is anonymous. If it were a requirement for you to ALL have a journal (like I do), post your pics (like I do), and detail what the fvck you are working towards (like I do)....then this forum would be 10X better than what it is because the keyboard jockey bullshytting would be eliminated.

I'm one of the FEW guys on here who takes this fvcking forum serious as a personal journal, and that's very SAD.

 

[dude99]

I hear both of these here, so which is it.

Saying "I'm always the catch" is egotistical and not realistic. If you can embed this in your mind/game, GREAT, it will certainly help, but the point remains.

"Lose the ego". I take this to mean, "you're not the center of the universe and you shouldn't believe you're the greatest thing since sliced bread/better than everyone else." However, saying "I'm always the catch" is technically implying you are better than everyone you date.

So which is it? Should I lose the ego and be a super real and down to earth person, or should I believe I'm better than everyone else in order to be more confident?

Knowing you're the catch is confidence. Telling them you're the catch is ego.

 

[Desdinova]

Have you not heard the countless stories of these folks who start making money and then start getting used by their friends around them (low self worth), start blowing the money on various things to please people around them (low self worth), etc.?

This is an interesting thing to ponder. Now that I have an abundance of money I make (as opposed to previously making ends meet), I sometimes have no clue what to do with my money other than stuff it in the bank. I don't travel a lot, I don't buy a lot of things, and I don't buy a lot of new things. I generally buy used or get it for free if possible. The rest of my cash ends up in the bank. I'll probably find a use for it one day, perhaps an expensive vacation or some 5hit.

I help out the people who mean a lot to me. Other than that, I don't have any friends that I feel the need to impress. I just want to have fun doing the things I like.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

.....Okay tell me how.....

People like you. And Neil. And Da Dynamic. You're all sing the same old boring songs about 'b!tches' and looks and money and race and (dare I hit the rawest nerve) height. They all been done a thousand times over. Literally making rant threads. WTF dude. Some of us are trying to transcend.

I don't read your bullsh!t threads coz they bring my fckn energy down. I literally find it exhausting reading and listening to people moan and talk sh!t that I don't buy in to. So I don't.

If you think myself and others are too cartoonish then just ignore or block. Be a fckn man about it rather than posting fckn passive aggressive vague sh!t like a fckn b!tchy little schoolgirl. At least Neil has the balls to have a stand up row.

Lastly, I say the same to you as I did da dynamic, if you dont like the forum anymore, then why don't you actually sod of instead of continuing to sit here whining like a cry baby.

Time to man up, sausage.

 

[Tenacity]

People like you. And Neil. And Da Dynamic.

Yes, all three of us who are NOT perfect, but we put our actual lives and PICTURES on this board. How about you post a pic so we can see what you look like?

You're all sing the same old boring songs about 'b!tches' and looks and money and race and (dare I hit the rawest nerve) height.

Then stop clicking on the threads and put all three of us on ignore.

I don't read your bullsh!t threads

You just said you did........

If you think myself and others are too cartoonish then just ignore or block.

In terms of "cartoonish", I would have to BLOCK the entire fvcking forum and if that's the case, I might as well stop contributing.

You have an issue with me, Da Dynamically and Neil because we at least put our pics on this forum, and we discuss realities of our own lives. None of us are perfect, but because you are one of these guys who love to keyboard jockey, it pisses you off when you run into people who aren't doing such.

Again....post your pic. Post a pic with you and a plate.

I'll wait.......

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Then stop clicking on the threads and put all three of us on ignore.

No. I don't feel the need. And to be fair, the three of you are clearly quite intelligent people and do have some interesting insights from time to time, just like most others. So I'd rather not. I see dynamic has been banned anyway.

I may be wrong, but maybe my transparency comes out in other ways rather than having to put pictures up. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I don't make out that I'm getting laid every night, because I'm not. I actually post about relatively minor successes. I'm not perfect either.

We're I to post pictures, all I'd hear would be how easy it must be because I'm tall and good-looking. That type of anonymity of the forum facilitates frank discussion about things that we can control (i.e. the game, field work, mindset etc) without being blinded by things we can't control (looks, money, b!tches).

I don't have the type of money that Neil has for example, and I would like more of it. I am working towards that. But I don't sit here crying about the fact that Neil takes home pretty much 10 times what I do. I focus on positivity and know that I am still a prize in my own right, even though there are infinitely wealthier men here, there and everywhere.

I have my strengths, you guys have yours. I work with what I have for now and try to negate my weaknesses.

Neil kids himself that throwing money at a problem will fix it for good. It's pure compensation for a relative lack of self esteem elsewhere.

I know for a fact I've been with nearly 3 times as many women as him. He'll say it's because I'm good looking. But trust me, if it was down to looks alone, I would have had three times more than I do.

My issue up until quite recently has been chemical abuse, which has been masking almost pathological shyness. For me, someone like Neil is doing exactly the same thing with money. You like a good old rant.

That, mate, is the difference between confidence and ego. I have identified my weaknesses and vice and am working to minimise. If you want the truth, you and Neil both still seem to be hiding from certain things.

Then again, it's an anonymous online forum and I don't know either of you in person. So what do I know.