I want my girl back

[brad jarry]

I know normally you guys would go on about me moving on and finding someone else and letting go and all that, but that's not what I want to do. Honestly, I want her. I've tried seeing other girls but none of them are her. Feel free to keep reading. I'm in high school btw.

To make a long story short. Last year, I went out with this girl for few months. I really liked her at first but I have no idea what happened, I guess I started to believe that I had it like that, and I started treating her not so well. Nothing too big, just going a while without texting her, not talking to her that much, no phone calls, etc. I guess she got fed up and she left me for someone else. I realized how awful I did her and that she was a really great girl about two months later. I apologized and we've been friends ever since. She always flirts with me and it's really donning on me, how much we have in common.

I really wanted her but I knew I couldn't break up her new relationship. I tried other girls but none of them clicked with me like she did. Fast forward to this year. Last month, they finally broke up after months and I finally had my chance! But I kid you not, the day I was gonna put the moves on her was the same day I found out she already talks to this senior (Who's last day was that week, Friday) -__- I was so sad too. He has a reputation for getting nudes from girls and exposing them and rushing them to do things. And he's going nowhere in life. His grades were ass, he smokes every day, tattoos, you name it. They say he has a way with words and that's how he gets them to do whatever. He won't cheat on them but he'll do lots of other stuff

I don't wanna see her become of those girls. Last week, I told her my side of the story. How I waited months for her to be single just to find out she already talks to someone new. She didn't say much, I'm guessing because she already likes him. I heard they kiss and all that.
All my friends are telling me to take her from him since everybody thinks he's no good for her, but Idk what to do. Moving on really isn't an option though. I keep turning the page but I end up in the same place at the end of the day. I really want her. Her birthday's coming up and I was thinking about getting her something to show that I'm here and still want her, but I don't want to look stupid.

Can someone help? And sorry for the long post

 

[Infern0]

Oh sweet jesus, it's me when i was a youngster.

Look mate forget it, it's over with this one.

you have a LOT to learn, it's all good though man you are at the right place.

You are stereotype "nice guy" using all the classic tried and failed nice guy strategies.

Time to start studying.

http://www.sosuave.com/halloffame/default.htm

Read it all, please. You need a 180 degree change.

 

[dude99]

I know normally you guys would go on about me moving on and finding someone else and letting go and all that, but that's not what I want to do. Honestly, I want her. I've tried seeing other girls but none of them are her. Feel free to keep reading. I'm in high school btw.

To make a long story short. Last year, I went out with this girl for few months. I really liked her at first but I have no idea what happened, I guess I started to believe that I had it like that, and I started treating her not so well. Nothing too big, just going a while without texting her, not talking to her that much, no phone calls, etc. I guess she got fed up and she left me for someone else. I realized how awful I did her and that she was a really great girl about two months later. I apologized and we've been friends ever since. She always flirts with me and it's really donning on me, how much we have in common.

I really wanted her but I knew I couldn't break up her new relationship. I tried other girls but none of them clicked with me like she did. Fast forward to this year. Last month, they finally broke up after months and I finally had my chance! But I kid you not, the day I was gonna put the moves on her was the same day I found out she already talks to this senior (Who's last day was that week, Friday) -__- I was so sad too. He has a reputation for getting nudes from girls and exposing them and rushing them to do things. And he's going nowhere in life. His grades were ass, he smokes every day, tattoos, you name it. They say he has a way with words and that's how he gets them to do whatever. He won't cheat on them but he'll do lots of other stuff

I don't wanna see her become of those girls. Last week, I told her my side of the story. How I waited months for her to be single just to find out she already talks to someone new. She didn't say much, I'm guessing because she already likes him. I heard they kiss and all that.
All my friends are telling me to take her from him since everybody thinks he's no good for her, but Idk what to do. Moving on really isn't an option though. I keep turning the page but I end up in the same place at the end of the day. I really want her. Her birthday's coming up and I was thinking about getting her something to show that I'm here and still want her, but I don't want to look stupid.

Can someone help? And sorry for the long post

You are in highschool. You will go through at least 30 more girls in the next 10 years or so. This one will be an after thought and mean nothing in a very short time.

You are obsessing over her only because you can't have her. Move on. Yes move on.

Stop pedestalizing girls. Stop obsessing over one girl. She will change her mind like the wind and isn't mature enough for a relationship anyways.

You will only waste your emotions and time


Date other girls. As many as possible

 

[AlphaNate]

Forgot to tag the post with "oneitis"

 

[randalljohnson]

First off kid, don't ever tell a girl that you were waiting for months to get with her. That's ultimate beta right there. I've been accused of being beta, but even I'll say that's very beta. You're still a kid so you have a lot to learn in life. But it's good to start young. Also, DO NOT buy her gifts. That's whay the typical needy nice guy does. You never buy gifts for somebody who you're not in an exclusive relationship with. ESPECIALLY in this situation. You see this stuff in the movies but it's not reality. In the movies,they gush about this stuff. In real life, they scoff at this stuff. You're still only in high school but I know the feeling of oneitis. If you already made it clear that you like her, at this point the best thing to do is walk away and see if she ever reaches out to you in the future.

 

[Initiatedindenial]

First off kid, don't ever tell a girl that you were waiting for months to get with her. That's ultimate beta right there. I've been accused of being beta, but even I'll say that's very beta. You're still a kid so you have a lot to learn in life. But it's good to start young. Also, DO NOT buy her gifts. That's whay the typical needy nice guy does. You never buy gifts for somebody who you're not in an exclusive relationship with. ESPECIALLY in this situation. You see this stuff in the movies but it's not reality. In the movies,they gush about this stuff. In real life, they scoff at this stuff. You're still only in high school but I know the feeling of oneitis. If you already made it clear that you like her, at this point the best thing to do is walk away and see if she ever reaches out to you in the future.

True story, even when in a relationship gifts must always be justified.

 

[Initiatedindenial]

For the original poster: Look we've all been there, is your first love and you think that there is nothing alike. But I promess you this, start educating yourself, read about body language, laws of attraction, get to the gym, shape yourself up, try to focus on what you wear, try to create a style that fits who you want to be, make a long term plan for your career.
Do all of that, and as you work on yourself, the quality of your women is going to increase. Very soon you will look at her and realise how average she is.
"She will rue the day..."
Oh, and do not forget, start spinning plates. The more you know women the better.
One final thing, don't call her your girl, have some self respect.

 

[djthiago1]

Nearly every guy in here is in here because he either got dumped, or couldn't get his oneitis. You're not alone, forget her, read more threads, improve yourself.

 

[Initiatedindenial]

Which is precisely why you're here. You did what you wanted to do, rather than what you needed to do.




Exactly. This is why she will not come back to you. This is why she keeps moving on to someone else. Doesn't matter who, as long as it's someone else.



If she really wanted you, she would have broken that new relationship up herself to get with you. You're lying to yourself if you believe you had the power to break it up.





Odds are extremely high that she was talking to this senior before she broke up with this other guy. This senior didn't "wait for his chance". He likely had the power to break them up; to entice her to move on to find someone else: Him. Not you. Not the guy she was just with. But someone else.



None of which matters to high school girls, who all think their experience is going to be different. They all think this guy, this boy they are attracted to right now, will not be like the others. This one might not be the loser others have dated. This one could be different.



This is not for you to decide.



Someone new.... I'm sensing a trend here.....



Of course it's an option, but it's the option you need, rather than the one you want. You keep ending up in the same place because you're still you. You're not someone else.



The gift would be moot. Words poured from your heart would be moot. She already knows you're there and that you still want her. But she's with someone else none the less, isn't she?

You want this girl back? Evolve. Become a new, better version of you. Become someone else through genuine self-improvement. Become something she has not seen. Odds are, by the time you achieve that, you may not want the same old her back. You may want someone else at that point too.

You have some inspiration today Bro.

 

[wifehunter]

Been there...

Turn the tables!!! Ruin them...be the one they'll never be able to get over.

It's taken me years, but it's possible.

Be that unforgettable "once in a lifetime" guy.

Be the ONE, they will hunt down, to the ends of the earth!!!

 

[ImTheDoubleGreatest!]

Alright bro, let's look at it like this:

The guy is a scumbag but he somehow gets the girls right? Well what does he do that is so special and different from all the rest? He likely doesn't do what you do by texting her or talking to her much. He probably doesn't buy her any gifts. He probably is one of those kids who just gives off a 'tougher' kind of vibe.

You don't. You aren't strong or aggressive or cool like him. It's time to change bro. You gotta say "f*ck it" and just tell yourself that you are done with her. Even if it hurts. Why? Because THAT will make you stronger and tougher.

And don't just get that way towards her. Become strong in every facet of life.

I'm telling you this right now, the only way, and the ONLY way you can get her back is if you get over her 100% to where you don't even think about her at all anymore. You don' text her, you don't talk to her, you don't even look at her.

And let's face it, when you are in your 30s or 40s or older, are you gonna look back at this and say 'Man I wish I was nicer to her so that she never left me' or are you gonna say 'Man I was such a wuss towards her, that I'm glad she left me because it put me on the path to what I have became today'. I look back at all my encounters with women from when I was 'nice' and I wish I had been tougher and wasn't so sweet to them because they walked all over me. And you know what? I'm only 18 and I'm saying this NOW. It never works out dude, except in the movies.