article: The reason why men marry some women and not others

[MatureDJ]

http://www.today.com/health/reason-why-men-marry-some-women-not-others-t74671

An interesting analysis on a man's age & attitude about marriage:

• Most men who graduate from high school start thinking of marriage as a real possibility when they are 23 or 24.
• Most men who graduate from college don’t start considering marriage as a real possibility until age 26.
• When men go to graduate school, it takes them longer to get into the working world, and they’re not ready to get married until a few years after that.
• Ninety percent of men who have graduated from college are ready for the next step between ages 26 and 33; this is when they are most likely to consider marriage. But this window of opportunity stays open only for four to five years, and then the chances a man will marry start to decline.
• A majority of college graduates between 28 and 33 are in their high-commitment years and likely to propose.
• This period for well-educated men lasts just a bit over five years. The chances men will commit are sightly less when they are thirty-one or thirty-two than when they were between 28 and 30, but they’re still in a high-commitment phase.
• Once men reach 33 or 34, the chances they’ll commit start to diminish, but only slightly. Until men reach 37, they remain very good prospects.
• After age 38, the chances they will ever marry drop dramatically.
• The chances that a man will marry for the first time diminish even more once he reaches 42 or 43. At this point, many men become confirmed bachelors.
• Once men reach age 47 to 50 without marrying, the chances they will marry do not disappear, but they drop dramatically.

 

[SteR]

That doesn't surprise me in any way. When you think about it, as a young man you fantasise about how married life could be, but as you age you see the real world ie. you see how your friends and family's marriages look.. and suddenly it doesn't seem all that it's cracked up to be.

Factor in seeing many of these couples going through divorce and you start to think "why bother?".

 

[Serenity]

If you think you may be involved with a stringer, establish a deadline. If he doesn’t commit to you within six months, get rid of him. Pay no attention to his excuses. He may tell you that you’re coming on too strong. He may complain that the two of you haven’t been going together long enough, that he doesn’t know, that he hasn’t made up his mind.

The fvck? Six months!!! I think it's safe to say many men have had a smooth relationship for up to a year before suddenly some sh!t hit the fan. I might have agreed to a whole year, but six months is not enough.

I may very well want to marry, but six months is not enough to make sure I don't make a stupid decision.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Agree with the above analysis but lets not forget a factor.

A man who passed his early 30s unless he manages to get a much younger girl doesnt have a primal drive to get married, basically his libido is stationary or even dropping while the girls around him and fatter, uglier and more annoying.

The same girl that would have been enough to turn him on instinctually in his 20s becomes good to nothing in his 30s....but apparently women dont get it and think that they can "settle" in their late 30s with a men their own age of a high status.

Me personally Im one of those who never really considered marriage and the more time passes, the less I do.

 

[MatureDJ]

Agree with the above analysis but lets not forget a factor.

A man who passed his early 30s unless he manages to get a much younger girl doesnt have a primal drive to get married, basically his libido is stationary or even dropping while the girls around him and fatter, uglier and more annoying.

The same girl that would have been enough to turn him on instinctually in his 20s becomes good to nothing in his 30s....but apparently women dont get it and think that they can "settle" in their late 30s with a men their own age of a high status.

Me personally Im one of those who never really considered marriage and the more time passes, the less I do.

Aaron Clarey did a great video in response to a mature women that was wondering why men her age don't seem to be seen out & about the single's scene. He said that men gradually start to realize that the time invested in hitting the scene has a low payoff, and that payoff is an older woman that they are naturally less attracted to. I started to hit that point at about age 26 when I had discovered church single's dances, which was surprisingly effective for a few years; after that, I more or less only wnet hunting abroad.

 

[Who Dares Win]

Aaron Clarey did a great video in response to a mature women that was wondering why men her age don't seem to be seen out & about the single's scene. He said that men gradually start to realize that the time invested in hitting the scene has a low payoff, and that payoff is an older woman that they are naturally less attracted to. I started to hit that point at about age 26 when I had discovered church single's dances, which was surprisingly effective for a few years; after that, I more or less only wnet hunting abroad.

Thats interesting do you have a link to that video? that explains also why there are no men speed dating above 45.

 

[MatureDJ]

He had referred to it in a video, but I can't figure out which one; however, he simply restated what he had posted on his blog a while back:

http://captaincapitalism.blogspot.ru/2008/10/yes-men-do-leave-market.html

 

[logicallefty]

In heinsight if I could try the marriage thing with a fresh slate and go back in time I would either:

1) Get with a woman in late teens. Be with her 10 years and keep a diamond strength frame while doing so... to the point where she would never consider leaving me because and even borderline fears me because I am just that much of an irreplaceable alpha male bad ass that she Knows I would be impossible to replace and knows how bad that sh-t would hit the fan if she cheated on me.

Or

2) Get with a woman 39-43 who is out of her crazy 30s. Be with her for 10 years and do the same as above as far as the diamond strength frame goes, etc. Then maybe marry her.

I have posted about this before and I will post about it again now and in the future as well. Women in their 30s are a lost cause. They are not marriage material between about the ages of 33 to 39. And I wouldn't even call them girlfriend material at that age either. They are a complete f'ed up mess to only be pumped a few quick times and ran from.

Again I say this from starting from a fresh slate.

 

[BeExcellent]

The fvck? Six months!!! I think it's safe to say many men have had a smooth relationship for up to a year before suddenly some sh!t hit the fan. I might have agreed to a whole year, but six months is not enough.

I may very well want to marry, but six months is not enough to make sure I don't make a stupid decision.

Two years is a much better barometer, IMO

 

[Serenity]

Two years is a much better barometer, IMO

Yeah, I said "maybe" for a reason. I'm just 25 and never been married before, but the good bunch of horror stories I've read on here and other places are very sobering.

I've been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now, we're not married yet and it might take a couple more years. It's been 2 very good years together and it's gradually getting even better, like we mature into sharing our lives. If that continues marriage will happen. None of us put excessive importance into the formality of marriage, we nurture love which is the glue that will keep marriage together.

It seems that many people live with the misconception that marrying secures the relationship, but that's a damn lie. It must be secured with love before marriage. The marriage itself will not prevent the relationship from falling apart, because there is something called divorce and it's no longer the taboo it used to be.

 

[BeExcellent]

Yeah, I said "maybe" for a reason. I'm just 25 and never been married before, but the good bunch of horror stories I've read on here and other places are very sobering.

I've been with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now, we're not married yet and it might take a couple more years. It's been 2 very good years together and it's gradually getting even better, like we mature into sharing our lives. If that continues marriage will happen. None of us put excessive importance into the formality of marriage, we nurture love which is the glue that will keep marriage together.

It seems that many people live with the misconception that marrying secures the relationship, but that's a damn lie. It must be secured with love before marriage. The marriage itself will not prevent the relationship from falling apart, because there is something called divorce and it's no longer the taboo it used to be.

Completely agree.

 

[zekko]

Let's face it, by the time a guy is around 40, he's pretty set in his ways. So it's no surprise that if he hasn't married by that time, he's not likely to. Also, if you haven't been able to attract a suitable mate by age 40 (if you even want to), maybe you have some fundamental problems in that area.

 

[SkrooU]

I think a lot of this really just centers around our instinct to procreate, even if we're not consciously thinking about it. I wanted kids for a long time. I still do. But women my age just don't want them, can't have them, already have them and honestly are just starting to seem worthless for that reason because of their age. I've been dating down to the 30-33 year olds. I actually look about 30-32 myself anyway. They're the only ones I can see myself committing to since the only reason I'll consider marraige right now is to start a family. I had about a year of pump and dumps with good looking women 38-42. They were easy, real easy. But I'm on my last 5 years to really start the family my wife and I had planned on having. If I don't find it soon, I'll probably never marry. But who knows.

 

[nismo-4]

Marriage is overrated.

 

[Prime_Beef]

Marriage is both over rated and under rated. I clearly see the benefits for my son vs his peers who come from single momma families. Stability is very, very important for kids success.. problem is, both parents have to understand and sacrifice.

 

[ubercat]

The problem as we know is the state got involved. I'm past the age of having kids so unfortunately marrying any woman no matter how wonderful creates a huge financial risk. I don't know about the argument of Bachelors being set in their ways. I'm a pretty old dog for around here and I had girlfriends constantly moving in with me or wanting to. I think most woman worth their salt are more than capable of colonising a man's house. Otherwise backyard sheds for men wouldn't be so popular.

 

[Desdinova]

I think it's safe to say many men have had a smooth relationship for up to a year before suddenly some sh!t hit the fan.

Two years is a much better barometer, IMO

I think it takes a good year for at least some of the red flags to start becoming evident. Two years should be sufficient for most of them to show their ugly heads.

The last LTR I had that lasted a year brought up the subject of marriage. I told her that I didn't even want to bring up the subject until we were together for at least another year. She didn't like that and ended the relationship shortly after. If the woman isn't willing to enjoy the time with you while you're evaluating an enormous decision such as marriage, then she's not worth keeping.

 

[Serenity]

If the woman isn't willing to enjoy the time with you while you're evaluating an enormous decision such as marriage, then she's not worth keeping.

Exactly what I'm thinking. Enjoying the relationship is so much more important than the status of being married. The test of patience is the final shit test.