Sober Nightlife

[TheMonkeyKing]

After a couple of recent stand out failures while drunk (and too many to mention over the years generally), I have finally concluded that it's high time to resolve the situation.

Inspired this week by responses to the Presence thread, I decided that I would go out this weekend and not drink a drop of booze.

I have also discovered some great material from Christian McQueen. For anyone not familiar with his work, Ive found it a sweet balance between informed over-confidence and down to Earth honesty. He even hold court on his own forum, which I like. A man of the people. Particularly pertinent is this article on sober life and pulling. It pretty much mirrors my own history with alcohol....

https://realchristianmcqueen.com/2016/05/03/how-to-approach-girls-sober/

So I've gone through the first two nights and I have to say it has been a revelation.

I won't go through play by play, but the results were as follows:

Friday
-One 8.5. Leggy slim blonde. Leather pants, scarlett lipsticks and matching cropped top. Easily the fittest specimen in the spot. I'm getting fist bumps and handshakes from random guys as if to say, 'good on you son'. Got kissing in the club. She was drinking quite a lot including shots. Ditches her mates to hang with me, literally following me round when I took leave from her, but was clearly tired and drunk by 1am and it kind of fizzled. Didn't even bother taking the number as she lives away and was a bit immature.

All in all, a great night though.

Saturday
-Head out in to central city which is pretty much laden with talent.
-A bit fatigued generally, I persist and go out for a couple of hours any way.
Scout around and settle in a chain bar by about 10pm. Two 8's stood by the bar start shooting me glances. They're clearly lookin for attention, and TMK is never one to deny a woman the right kind of attention.
Good chat and flirting with both at once. Asked the slightly hotter chick for the number. Has bf. Tried the other, she says no as she doesn't want to be 'sloppy seconds' Lesson in subtlety learned. Just needed to dig a little deeper to get the intel. They were equally hot to be fair.

Ultimately not wildly successful but I literally can't explain all the things I've realised by starting this just on two mini outings. So to summarise...

>We sacrifice inhibition by consuming alcohol. But that is not always necessarily a good thing. By sacrificing inhibition, we are also sacrificing a level of personal control.

>Sober night game is easy, or at least will be after a bit more practice. I must have been approached by at least a dozen people (men and women) who just started talking. And they were all full of compliments. The improved level of control facilitates awareness of surroundings and maybe even made me more open than when drinking.

>Personal control maintains personal standards; I hardly gave any chick below an 8 a second glance.

>Drunk people are tolerable, but to an extent. Once they've had too much, you have to start leading, a lot. The conversation tails off and you might as well move on.

>Hot women are open to approaches and appreciate a sober (or at least not drunk) guy who can hold court.

I've not spent a penny all weekend, but had two of the better nights out I've had in as long as I can remember (sic). Plus I nearly pulled three solid 8s.

I can't say I'm not drinking ever again. Maybe a couple of times a month. But this absolutely is the epiphany that I've been seeking (at the bottom of a pint glass) for years; sounds ridiculous really. But this is definitely the start of something great and it's already going brilliantly.

 

[sazc]

>We sacrifice inhibition by consuming alcohol. But that is not always necessarily a good thing. By sacrificing inhibition, we are also sacrificing a level of personal control.

Even the females need to understand that drunk is not sexy.....dunk can be easy (and dunk offers an excuse to be easy), but drunk doesnt equate to sexy.

For males and females, SOBER gaming builds TRUE confidence. You are in control and making decisions, instead of letting the booze lead. What is occurring in the moment is because of your direction, because you are leading. When it turns out well, you gain confidence. If it doesn't go well, the fact that you are sober means you can critique to improve.

Good for you.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

For males and females, SOBER gaming builds TRUE confidence. You are in control and making decisions, instead of letting the booze lead. What is occurring in the moment is because of your direction, because you are leading. When it turns out well, you gain confidence. If it doesn't go well, the fact that you are sober means you can critique to improve.

Exactly right. I think I've read McQueen state something along the lines that when we master sober night life, night life when drinking (responsibly) is easy as preaching to the converted.

The only thing I would say is that my own flow of chat needs some polishing, in the moment, and I need to reign the enthusiasm, just a notch or two. But that will come with a bit more practice. Same time next weekend, I suppose.

 

[Solomon]

Christian Mcqueen is still around? haven't heard from him since his fall out with Roosh V, I gotta check out his stuff

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Christian Mcqueen is still around? haven't heard from him since his fall out with Roosh V, I gotta check out his stuff

To be honest, I'm not entirely surprised they fell out. For me, roosh is a boy playing a man's game, where McQueen's approach is far more refined.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Hard work, success in life, and actual value and status builds true confidence. What the hell is sober game? A pua terminology? I havent had anything close to anxiety when flirting with women in broad day light for over 10 years.

And what the hell is sober night life? Have you ever tried it or just theorizing? Do you imagine you will be able to maintain your equilibrium when dealing with drunk women acting retarded and smelling like cigarettes while you are sober? My bet is you will be miserable.

I can barely stand drunk chicks when I am drunk myself, let alone sober in a bar.

If you want to be sober, why not just attend a salsa dancing class, any type of dance class, or a fitness club? Thats where all the hot sober women are at.

What the heck is sober nightlife? Noone does that except for PUAs. Be a normal guy and just do some activities that involve hot women and youll get plenty of plates.

Why do puas think the only way to get laid is to wonder around aimlessly outside of noght clubs at 1 am approching 5s?

If you are going to be sober, you might as well live an exciting lifestyle that involves women instead of wandering around aimlessly at the bars.

I don't count myself as a pua, DJ or anything else other than a man going about his business. I just employ terms that the community in general are familiar with.

If you read the article, you'll understand better. Different people like different things, places and people to unwind.

In all honesty, I've had my share of dancers, dramatic performing types for now. A dance class is not something I'm gonna be doing any time soon. Sh!t salsa classes in this part of town are FREE for women because they just don't go to them any more.

Humour me now, why would I go to a dance class, limit myself to a pool of 10 chicks, possibly to get paired up (stuck) with a 5/10 heffer, when I could instead bar hop in an infinite pool of women, and ONLY approach those that I consider 8 or above? They're not all completely off their face drunk. You're talking in back and white absolute terms, more like a 'pua' than I am....

Gee. Talk about argument for argument's sake.

 

[sazc]

Hard work, success in life, and actual value and status builds true confidence. What the hell is sober game? A pua terminology? I havent had anything close to anxiety when flirting with women in broad day light for over 10 years.

And what the hell is sober night life? Have you ever tried it or just theorizing? Do you imagine you will be able to maintain your equilibrium when dealing with drunk women acting retarded and smelling like cigarettes while you are sober? My bet is you will be miserable.

I can barely stand drunk chicks when I am drunk myself, let alone sober in a bar.

If you want to be sober, why not just attend a salsa dancing class, any type of dance class, or a fitness club? Thats where all the hot sober women are at.

What the heck is sober nightlife? Noone does that except for PUAs. Be a normal guy and just do some activities that involve hot women and youll get plenty of plates.

Why do puas think the only way to get laid is to wonder around aimlessly outside of night clubs at 1 am approching 5s?

If you are going to be sober, you might as well live an exciting lifestyle that involves women instead of wandering around aimlessly at the bars.

This boards isnt composed of multiple instances of @da dynamically . There are all flavors here and all have different lives. Being supportive is an attractive character trait.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

I live in the UK. Its fair to say that the game is a very different beast here than it is there in certain respects. Going to the pub Friday and Saturday is pretty much the British culture that starts while we're still at school and has done for generations. The primary objective is to socialise. Pulling, though still an objective is really secondary.

Salsa class, pub/night club or walking down the street at midday, we're only going to be attracted to two women in every ten, three tops. Each to their own. Personally, I'm gonna stick with my larger pool. Though to be fair, I do need to integrate more extra-curricular activities to my week, so I appreciate your points.

 

[Trainwreck]

Why do people do this? If you aren't going to drink then spend your time with other activities.

 

[Dingo]

Huge advantage to be the guy in control in a room full of drunks...

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

Huge advantage to be the guy in control in a room full of drunks...

That's exactly what it felt like. And, that's exactly the way other people react, like you're the most centered, trust-worthy person around, which at that point, you probably are. Other guys especially seemed to be almost awestruck. Almost like an unfair advantage.

 

[Masculinity]

I have never picked up women while drunk, but it's definitely an advantage to be sober when the other dudes trying to make a pass on her are drunk.

 

[fastlife]

Props, dude (don't get why people are so opposed to the idea of going out sober). Forget labels or identities, going out a couple nights a week is how I keep a constant supply of college girls in my life. When I didn't go out, I wasn't meeting those girls. Seems like a pretty obvious set of cause and effect. Plus it's fun--you never know who you'll meet or what might happen.

I have a beer or two tops on a night out. I have 0 interest in hanging out out with drunk girls--and 0 interest in sleeping with a girl when she's drunk. But the good news is that there a plenty of girls who don't go out to get wasted (and there are plenty more who will stop drinking if you tell them to). You just have to offer more value than whatever drink's in her hand. And then if there's ever a hot girl who's a couple too many drinks in, just get her number and clown her for being drunk and crazy the next day (but these girls usually have other issues).

 

[taiyuu_otoko]

In economics they have a thing called "Unintended consequences," which means bad things happen that you didn't anticipate.

Nearly ten years ago, I quick drinking for good. Before I drank quite a bit. And as @TheMonkeyKing detailed, I had to go through a "recalibration" phase.

One thing, though, that I DIDN'T expect was that many girls are NOT NEARLY as attractive when you're sober. Before, when I was hammered, I'd bang pretty much anything.

Beer Goggles (so long as you have a built in escape plan for when the sober morning shows up) aren't all that bad.

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

I have 0 interest in hanging out out with drunk girls--and 0 interest in sleeping with a girl when she's drunk.

This is what I found. It gets boring pretty quickly, the conversation goes flat, they're already forgetting things you told them half an hour earlier and they become a bit listless. No fun in that unless you're on their same level.

I have a beer or two tops on a night out.

Before, when I was hammered, I'd bang pretty much anything.

I wanna get to the stage where I can control what I'm doing, choose to have a few drinks when the feeling takes me and still know exactly what I'm doing. I wasn't even acknowledging any girl below an 8 really, more focussed on spotting the few shiny jewels on show.

I had to go through a "recalibration" phase.

This is where I'm at. Like re-learning how to socialise when sober; if I ever knew in the first place.

 

[BeExcellent]

I always go out sober (or I may drink very responsibly). For several reasons:

1. I hate hangovers & it takes little to give me a hangover.

2. It's cheaper. Club soda & lime or a Coke is lots less expensive than anything else.

3. I dance. I learned decades ago that I dance better sober and hydrated than buzzed. I go out primarily to dance & socialize.

4. Drunk people are amusing until they become annoying. I prefer not to be that person.

5. I'd prefer to be able to drive so I have control over where I go & when I leave.

6. Men actually appreciate intelligence and wit and good humor. Drunk people do not comport themselves as intelligent or witty although they may be amusing.

7. Nothing worse than a hot girl in a sexy dress and good heels who is bumbling around. It's not a complimentary presentation.

8. Drunk women are targets. Better not to be an easy target.

9. I prefer to be engaged and engaging in a social environment. Being sober makes this much more authentic & enjoyable.

So good for you TMK. Being sober gives you many advantages, reduces many risks and allows you to increase your real self confidence...all good things in my book

 

[Trainwreck]

You do know being sober and picking up drunk chicks classifies as rape right?

 

[RangerMIke]

Drinking with the intent of meeting women is like player soccer without shoes..... Sure you can do it, but you are not nearly as good as as you would be with cleats.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

You do know being sober and picking up drunk chicks classifies as rape right?

So if your both drunk it's ok?

 

[Trainwreck]

So if your both drunk it's ok?

It gives you more leeway because both of y'all are drunk. However, as a man, if you are sober and she is drunk then she definitely can accuse you of rape and win.