Are there women that completely shut themselves off from men?

[ThisNThat]

...regardless of interest?

You usually can't find this out from them directly, but I honestly think there's a category of single wome that completely shut themselves off from any romantic prospects or possibilities whatsoever, even if the guy is quite attractive...even with the aforementioned posts about status and money or even "game."

Usually the one thing they have in common are single divorcee's with children.

I think though, this will go away as soon as they become empty nesters, but in the mean time...they fill their time with friends and family members, i.e. - time with nieces and nephews. This can take years.

I recall this one woman that came as a +1 to a Meetup event, you could barely get a word out of her as she was mostly there for her friend than to socialize.

Another one is an old high school mate that I added a couple of years ago, but when I would attempt to IM her, she "sees" it, but never responds. Not even to talk about the old high school days...nothing.

Some women simply resolve themselves to nun-ship for at least a decade, depending on the ages of their kids.

This is just a theory I have due to interactions with them. Kind of like a "women going their own way, but only for a time."

Can anyone here mirror the same thing?

 

[Desdinova]

Usually the one thing they have in common are single divorcee's with children.

I don't see it being completely or even primarily limited to this category. From what I've seen, it's from women who become alpha widows. Once they're alpha-widowed, they'll go one of two ways. They'll either go out and have lots of sex with whomever they please, or they'll cut men off almost completely.

The women who cut men off will be open to going out with a guy just to see if "something will happen", but the moment she finds something she doesn't like about him, she gives him the boot.

Women who have been alpha-widowed appear to lose their sanity, at least when it comes to dating. The most stable couples I've ever seen are the ones who met in high school and have remained together ever since. The women who are forever chasing their next soulmate (because they lost the first one) almost never end up in relationships for a lengthy period of time. Some are devastated to the point that having relationships is completely ruined for them.

 

[ThisNThat]

I don't see it being completely or even primarily limited to this category. From what I've seen, it's from women who become alpha widows. Once they're alpha-widowed, they'll go one of two ways. They'll either go out and have lots of sex with whomever they please, or they'll cut men off almost completely.

The women who cut men off will be open to going out with a guy just to see if "something will happen", but the moment she finds something she doesn't like about him, she gives him the boot.

Women who have been alpha-widowed appear to lose their sanity, at least when it comes to dating. The most stable couples I've ever seen are the ones who met in high school and have remained together ever since. The women who are forever chasing their next soulmate (because they lost the first one) almost never end up in relationships for a lengthy period of time. Some are devastated to the point that having relationships is completely ruined for them.

Hm, "Alpha-Widows", that's a good term for it. Makes me tie it into a label. Yeah, and they are usually older, usually 40's and 50s. Though they are not "widows' technically, but they have been married at least one and take solace in hanging out in local venues with friends and family members. I wonder if this is more of a pattern in smaller suburbia than in metro areas, because where I live...is more of a fishbowl community...and people have multiple generations living in the same area.

Townies.

I recall one woman I met through a friend that he invited out to an event with another friend of hers...they told me they weren't even straight up interested in making NEW friends....turns out they hang with people they grew up with in high school...family members and nothing more. It's almost as if they are xenophobic around here. lol

When I was in my 20s, I knew of a guy that had such a woman neighbor that was available for him for FWB, but he went to night clubs with me in the big city an hour away. She was divorced, had kids, but it was a convenient quickie for him.

 

[bigneil]

If she is bisexual, there is some dark event in her past. Usually repeated abuse by a family member, and the bitterness of coming of age and realizing that certain other family members enabled the situation.

In that case, she fears being intimate because of guilt, etc. I knew one girl in 2003, extremely sexy, whose father had made her have her first orgasm, so she could never reach orgasm again because of guilt (they dump this crap on you after sex).

Now, if you have a connection with a girl, and she is attracted, she will give you chances over time to get in, but unless you navigate the symptoms of, and understand the true issues at her core, she won't trust you. Usually it's having sex with her that slowly gets through to her, assuming you can make her come (which produces Oxytocin which you both get addicted to - it's like a crack hit at high doses).

Over time you can get through to them, in which case she will indeed reveal that she fears her emotions for you, that she wanted to be unemotional, to not care, but that you got the best of her. They will then revert and need to be reseduced, but eventually you get through to them and you're part of her inner circle.

 

[ThisNThat]

I wanted to supplement this post by recalling a man and a woman, both in their 50s, heavy into the outdoor excursions. They did a lot of traveling together doing back packing, camping, etc. They looked like they belong on the front cover of Gander Mtn. magazine.

They were together for 5 years, then one day she just dumps him, something about her wanting to travel alone...and she has been traveling alone without him since the break up, but moreso globally like South America, New Zealand etc.

She would sometimes hang with a lot of us on local excursions and I had asked if she ever thought about getting a group from her OWN circle to all gather up on her travels as a group. She says she prefers to travel alone and meet new people in these tourists excursions. Basically making friends in her touring group as opposed as to with the people she already knows.

So she's even alienating herself from her friends, and just goes it solo and shares pictures online. So she's really rolling in her independence apparently.


I had asked her that some of us were shocked, considering how they were a nicely matched couple. and she was like "Well, regardless of what other people thought of us being a good match, we didn't have that much in common as some thought we had."

I was thiking, "And it took you 5 years to discover this?" But I wasn't buying it.

 

[ThisNThat]

Me and a male friend shared a similar description of what is known as "emtionally bankrupt"...I think that's the point beyond just being bitter. Basically incapable of the warm fuzzies anymore when meeting a man. They can only now bond with people of their own blood, it's family members that matter most to them than a stranger with something between his legs.

I know this woman that's in her 50s, single for a long time, and is a manager of a local drug store. She always talks about how she's taking training classes to further her job and spends her weekends with nieces and nephews...the idea of even "girls night out" is unappealing to her....because those even provide male encounters that's she's purposely avoiding.

She eliminates ANY possibility of male encounters altogether.

The plus one I was telling you about, they are usually "out" and about ONLY because they are "getting some air" or "blowing out the cobwebs"., if a man approaches them during this rare instance for her purpose is to just get out of the house, she'll usually be very short with him and no game could bring down that wall.